So I got the number...help needed!!

[jungleman pete]

Hey everyone!

I finally got the number of a girl i've been interested in for a while. I've posted about her before. She was more than happy to give it too me. It took me a while to ask because I was being a challenge *cough* kept wussing out *cough*. Although it did help with getting to know her first.

Anyways, I need to know how to play this situation. I'll break it down for you guys:

1) She has seemingly high interest. We get along like a house on fire. Pupils, body language, asking questions, giving personal info, the works.

2) I got her phone number, no fuss.

3) I called her two days after getting the number (last night, Monday)

4) She is genuinely busy all week (classes, work etc) apart from (i'm assuming) Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

5) She has stated on more than one occasion that she has a boyfriend. The last time being after I got her number. She said "I'm so busy I hardly ever see my boyfriend anymore". Again, this was not the first time she has mentioned her boyfriend. I dont know if she was saying this to prove how busy she is (we were talking about how much work, school etc she does at the time) or as a way of saying the boyfriends out of the picture.

I'll be seeing her on Saturday and she said we can talk about what we're going to do then.

How do I play this? She's busy, got a boyfriend who she doesnt see much and is only available on the prime time nights.

Do I drop the whole challenge thing and just be available when she is? Or do I make it seem like I too have a busy social life, at which point we'll probably never hook up.

DJ's, can you help shed some light on this for me. At the moment i'm thinking i'll just keep it cool and see what happens. I'm not obsessed with this girl at all. I just want to stack the odds in my favor.

Thanks guys

 

[FreeStyleZ]

I stopped reading your post after seeing:

5) She has stated on more than one occasion that she has a boyfriend

She probably just wants you as a friend to fill the void of her boyfriend while he isnt around. Dont get used.

 

[popcorn]

Ive had that happen to me loads, maybe they havent mayber its my lack of skill but when they said this to me its never gone much further.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Jungle dude, you've been here for 5 months and you don't know that this girl is not worth your time - have you been knocked in the head and been in a coma for the last few months?

 

[jungleman pete]

Hey PRL!

Nah man, it just seems like it sometimes

I'm not worried about this chick at all, but the signs are there. I'm not blind and can tell when a girl is interested. But the situation is as it is.

Do I not try because of this and kick myself over an opportunity squandered? Or do I present myself and do my very best. Only one option lets me sleep well at night.

Waiting for that "Perfect" girl who also, by some amazing fluke, doesnt have a boyfriend is like trying to find the Loch Ness monster or Sasquash. Hard to do, and some would say, a waste of time.

I'm not saying this girl is perfect. But shes pleasant and we get along well.

It seems to me (with my limited experience) that the good ones are already taken, merely by the virtue that they are the good ones.

I've gone off on a tangent. Please do not take this as me having a huge case of oneitis. Its seriously quite the opposite.

But what I will do is actually get the full details from her. If i'm not happy then....next!!

Anyways, keep it up PRL. I enjoy your posts.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I don't think its a mistake to pursue this girl, but make damn sure she makes ALL THE EFFORT!!! Remember you've said she's repeatedly mentioned she has a boyfriend. IMHO that's her way of telling you not to get any smart ideas and that your relationship with her is going to be strictly platonic. You just need to lay back and be super confident and see what happens.

You'll know if she's truely unhappy with her boyfriend if she constantly nags about things she doesn't like about him. Of course that could also be you being her emotional tampon. I've had some success with girls with boyfriends, but I've never been the one actively pursuing them. I make them make all the effort and if they still want to proceed then I'll go through with it.


Just know that your getting yourself into a big mess. Sounds like you don't have any other girls on your list, and that's already a trouble spot. Don't lose sight of the goal bro.



PIMP

 

[jungleman pete]

Hey Pimp-sicle,

Maybe i was a bit off in my original post. She never flat out mentioned a boyfriend as in "I have a boyfriend, Jungleman" it was like (around Christmas time) "I have to buy some presents for my Parents, Friends, Boyfriend".

There was that and the time after she gave me her number. I dont know if she told me that she doesnt have time for her boyfriend anymore for a reason, or just to let me know that if I am going to persue her, that I better not eff it up, or she'll use the boyfriend card.

I've got a few girls i'm working on at the moment, but this ones personality really clicks well with mine. I dont want to just lay down and die because of the possiblity that she has a AFC boyfriend.

It just seems this board can be a bit on the negative side. That we should next everyone for whatever reason. Kind of like on Seinfeld. Well, there was a reason those guys all ended up in jail alone.

Rant off I'll do my best and see what happens!

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

If it were me i'd just next her. If she's too busy then I say to hell with her because I have my own needs.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Pursue her aggresively, if she doesn't resist then assume she left or is leaving her chump b/f. Just don't get emotional with her and be the next chump in line!!

 

[jungleman pete]

Thanks guys.

Sorry for my little rants yesterday. I reread my original post and looking at what I had written objectively, I probably would have told me the same things as you guys did.

From what I had written, it did sound like a bunch of red flags, and it maybe still does. But shes really cool and we get along well, and she just seems interested in me. I will persue her as best I can, but I know that if the boyfriend thing comes up, I'll talk about it with her then. By the way, shes only young, probably about 19 so I cant see any point rushing into things anyways.

This is a great forum that has taught me alot (although that may be hard to believe ) and I appreciate all your help.

Cheers!

 

[gentleman193]

Pete,

This can work but you must make clear you only want her as a GF. She is using the monkey-vine principle, don't let go of one guy until you got a firm grip on the next. You are a jungleman, you must understand that one.

So give her the confidence that when she puts out for you she gets you (what actually happens we'll see but make the deal clear). And don't do anything to act "like a friend." Last thing she wants is to risk her BF for a sexless dud. I think that's why she's only free on the weekend, she wants to be sure it's going to be a date. So set it up and close the deal.

And, of course, try not to drag her around by the hair too much once you got her after that ;-)

 

[jungleman pete]

Thanks Gentleman!

Thats a really good point. She may only want to see me on the weekend to make sure i'm not going to just jerk her around. See if its worth leaving her borefriend for me.

So, are you saying, be even more outgoing towards her?

I have her mobile no. Would a SMS be out of order, before the weekend?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

If this chick is giving you play, then it is assumed that she is leaving her b/f eventually - or maybe she has already left him and does not want to give you all the details.

Personally, base on what you are telling us, I don't think she has a b/f, but maybe just a pimp that she sees from time to time. She says, "I have a b/f that I don't see much" - this doesn't make sense! She may be using the "I have a b/f crap" as an excuse for guys that she don't want to be pursued by.

From the sound of it, she seemed to be enthusiastic to provide you with her number. Have fun and don't supplicate for her attention -go for the kiss by the end of the date.

Don't talk about her so-called boyfriend!

 

[jungleman pete]

Thanks PRL!

Shes a pretty busy girl. Do you think she could just be mentioning that she has a boyfriend maybe as social proof for herself?

To make herself more attractive?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Don't SMS her - use the phone - don't be so eager!! Talk to her to only set things up for the date this weekend!!

If she was so attractive and endearing I would think phantom b/f would be seeing her more often and not leaving her weekends open to date other men.

Some girls say they have a b/f to guys so that they don't get their hopes too high in their pursuit of her and she leaves herself a door out to exit.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

When women use the dreaded word "boyfriend" this actually discourages guys to pursue her and does nothing for socail proof. Girls are attractive on their own merit and do not need social proof!! Their own feminine nature is all they need to attract men.

 

[jungleman pete]

Alrighty,

I'll just play it cool, not mention her boyfriend, be fun and kino when I can.

Ok, i feel better about it now! Thanks again!