So I got dumped..

[StepItUp]

Happened tonight.

Basically we have been together for bit over a year and it did come out of the blue a little bit. We had a small argument and than after asking her if we were going to do something tomorrow night she said she is not sure, after we got off the phone she sent me the glorious message ' We need a break', that was the kiss of death. There after I realised this was pre-meditated. Her mum was in background screaming me and my husband do not fight as much as you two.

I will be honest I do feel a little bit sick and sorry to the pit of my stomach, and her saying things like you deserve better and good luck with everything really felt like a kick in the teeth and I feel like I have been done over.

I feel like shiyt to be honest. But wierd thing is this weekend we celebrated her birthday with her family etc and hung out all weekend. I just feel so blindsided. ****

 

[PDubb75]

I feel like shiyt to be honest. But wierd thing is this weekend we celebrated her birthday with her family etc and hung out all weekend. I just feel so blindsided. ****

I could have written this sentence word for word from my last breakup. Spent the weekend with her and her family for her birthday, perfect weekend. Breaks up with me 2 days later.

I know exactly how you feel man. Everyone here does. You have to decide if this is something you are going to try and fix, or if you just need to start moving on. Give it some time, but not too much. The best thing you can do is get back out there and move on. Realistically, it's natural to want some time without that.

I don't know if you have gone through breakups before (don't know how old you are), but they suck every time. Some more than others. Some much more than others. In all cases, time and new girls are the only solution. As cliche as both suggestions are, it's not just the "best thing to do", it's really the only way.

 

[Eternal_water]

Strange the only girlfriend I've ever had dumped me not long after her birthday which had been a very good day.

 

[TRSX]

Sorry to hear man, time heals everything.

You'll be back on the DJ spin before you know it! :woo:

 

[J Roc]

Congratulations! How do you plan to celebrate your new found freedom from that b1tch?

 

[\O/]

Getting dumped often comes as a surprise to us guys. It may very well happen after spending some quality time together. The reason for this is that a girl ends the relationship long before she is letting us know. It may actually have been over for weeks or even months. They go through the grieving process whilst still in the relationship. When they are "done" they inform us and we never even saw it coming. So when it's over, the guy and the girl are in different phases f the break up. This often makes us act like b*tches in the early stages of the break up because it comes as a shock and we think we can "fix" it and that we can "change".

Best way is to accept it and take it like a man. Go No Contact and start growing your wounds. It's also the best way to get her back if that is your goal, however i would never recommend that. It's over for a reason, and you are also too young to be in a commited LTR.

Move on and look at this as an opportunity for personal growth and improvement.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Congratulations! How do you plan to celebrate your new found freedom from that b1tch?

What this guy said.

 

[seethehoop]

Agree with the above, its sucks dude been there but best thing is to accept it. Id go no contract at this stage. Jus cut her off. Take some time to reinvent ya self. Def get back out there. No moping around feeling sorry for ya self, use that energy to better yourself. You'll feel stronger in the long run.

 

[pdx1138]

Getting dumped often comes as a surprise to us guys. It may very well happen after spending some quality time together. The reason for this is that a girl ends the relationship long before she is letting us know. It may actually have been over for weeks or even months. They go through the grieving process whilst still in the relationship. When they are "done" they inform us and we never even saw it coming.

Thats the best definition to describe it.

my last ex told me she was a "coward" about communicating with me.

 

[BigSmooth]

Getting dumped often comes as a surprise to us guys. It may very well happen after spending some quality time together. The reason for this is that a girl ends the relationship long before she is letting us know. It may actually have been over for weeks or even months. They go through the grieving process whilst still in the relationship. When they are "done" they inform us and we never even saw it coming. So when it's over, the guy and the girl are in different phases f the break up. This often makes us act like b*tches in the early stages of the break up because it comes as a shock and we think we can "fix" it and that we can "change".

Best way is to accept it and take it like a man. Go No Contact and start growing your wounds. It's also the best way to get her back if that is your goal, however i would never recommend that. It's over for a reason, and you are also too young to be in a commited LTR.

Move on and look at this as an opportunity for personal growth and improvement.

Wow, I never could put it into words, but you have just described it perfectly.

 

[Atom Smasher]

OP, here's a thread about dealing with breakups that I find to be very good:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=194080

 

[StepItUp]

Thanks all the replies guys helps a lot.

I could have written this sentence word for word from my last breakup. Spent the weekend with her and her family for her birthday, perfect weekend. Breaks up with me 2 days later.

I know exactly how you feel man. Everyone here does. You have to decide if this is something you are going to try and fix, or if you just need to start moving on. Give it some time, but not too much. The best thing you can do is get back out there and move on. Realistically, it's natural to want some time without that.

I don't know if you have gone through breakups before (don't know how old you are), but they suck every time. Some more than others. Some much more than others. In all cases, time and new girls are the only solution. As cliche as both suggestions are, it's not just the "best thing to do", it's really the only way.

It seems so bizzare how it occured, I just feel like I lost something which is hitting me hard.

Sorry to hear man, time heals everything.

You'll be back on the DJ spin before you know it! :woo:

I believe the same, these are times we wish time could be fast forwarded.

Congratulations! How do you plan to celebrate your new found freedom from that b1tch?

I kind of forgot who I was, I use to love going out before her and now I don't feel that way. I just don't feel outgoing anymore making me very annoyed

Getting dumped often comes as a surprise to us guys. It may very well happen after spending some quality time together. The reason for this is that a girl ends the relationship long before she is letting us know. It may actually have been over for weeks or even months. They go through the grieving process whilst still in the relationship. When they are "done" they inform us and we never even saw it coming. So when it's over, the guy and the girl are in different phases f the break up. This often makes us act like b*tches in the early stages of the break up because it comes as a shock and we think we can "fix" it and that we can "change".

Best way is to accept it and take it like a man. Go No Contact and start growing your wounds. It's also the best way to get her back if that is your goal, however i would never recommend that. It's over for a reason, and you are also too young to be in a commited LTR.

Move on and look at this as an opportunity for personal growth and improvement.

I agree that this is a good chance for personal growth, but I feel so lost. I also agree that it seems like this break up was brewing longer than I expected or thought, which is kind of disturbing. It makes you feel resentful towards her and woman and in general, don't know if that is a bad or good thing.

Agree with the above, its sucks dude been there but best thing is to accept it. Id go no contract at this stage. Jus cut her off. Take some time to reinvent ya self. Def get back out there. No moping around feeling sorry for ya self, use that energy to better yourself. You'll feel stronger in the long run.

I feel like I have accepted it a bit, but not totally I got bad pictures of her and feel like making them public but meh not going to do that.. I never thought I would but I kind of am moping around feeling sorry for myself.

OP, here's a thread about dealing with breakups that I find to be very good:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=194080

I will check it out thanks

 

[Serg897]

Don't contact her and move on with your life. Its the only way. You will be tempted to give in but in the end it is always futile. If she is really interested in more she will contact you again.

 

[spang]

why is her mom even involved? something tells me you are better off.

 

[PDubb75]

Well, they gotta get the gift outta you first, right? THEN, they can decide they don't like you.......and then wonder why there are "no good men out there anymore"

Always a possibility, but in my case (long distance relationship), her gift was me flying out to her. I mean, yeah I took her to dinner and all that, but it was me coming in town and staying with her for the weekend that was the actual "gift". And she was ridiculously happy about it... kept begging me not to leave. Gave me insane sexual incentives to stay. I honestly think the distance was the true reason she ended it. But still, crazy how this sh!t happens...

It seems so bizzare how it occured, I just feel like I lost something which is hitting me hard.

I feel you, man. That feeling you lost someone is going to be there until you find another girl. As long as you don't settle and get a much lower quality girl. Just keep your head up, and get back out there as soon as you can. If you literally can't get out there yet, at least go do something to improve yourself until you are ready (gym, make new friends, hobbies, etc).

 

[StepItUp]

Well, you've gotten good advice, but JROC's killed me. I laughed out loud.

I agree that women end it inside months before dropping the hammer. Mine sure seemed to. Oh well, brother life goes on. My GF and I broke up less than 2 months ago, and I have 2 new ones, so take hope. And BTW, I strongly agree with the NC. If you want her back, this is your ONLY shot.......and if you don't, it will help you heal and move on. I kinda look at NC for us as disciplining a dog....when he sh%ts on the floor, you rub his nose in it. But with a woman, you cut off ALL attention. ALL attention. And that is the WORST thing you can do to them, that hurts the most. Your decision.

I have made no contact, and I don't think she will but if she does I feel like being honest and saying you hurt me a lot, please leave me alone. But that would not get me anywhere right :S

Well, they gotta get the gift outta you first, right? THEN, they can decide they don't like you.......and then wonder why there are "no good men out there anymore"

That kind of makes me wonders broke up 2 days after her birthday didn't she already know she was going to break up with me, give explanation for that man !?!?!

Don't contact her and move on with your life. Its the only way. You will be tempted to give in but in the end it is always futile. If she is really interested in more she will contact you again.

Yep thats what I am doing man.

why is her mom even involved? something tells me you are better off.

Her mum is a controlling ***** and has her say and gets involved in everything.

Always a possibility, but in my case (long distance relationship), her gift was me flying out to her. I mean, yeah I took her to dinner and all that, but it was me coming in town and staying with her for the weekend that was the actual "gift". And she was ridiculously happy about it... kept begging me not to leave. Gave me insane sexual incentives to stay. I honestly think the distance was the true reason she ended it. But still, crazy how this sh!t happens...



I feel you, man. That feeling you lost someone is going to be there until you find another girl. As long as you don't settle and get a much lower quality girl. Just keep your head up, and get back out there as soon as you can. If you literally can't get out there yet, at least go do something to improve yourself until you are ready (gym, make new friends, hobbies, etc).

I almost feel like not ****ing other girls but I am going to force myself, feels like I will feel **** if i do not sure yet...

 

[cremasta7]

I love that... 'We need a break'. It's possible she thinks this is just a temporary thing. I've got no time for that rubbish anymore. If your girl wants a break, make it permanent. You don't fix relationships by walking away from them. Ok, rant done.

I have made no contact, and I don't think she will but if she does I feel like being honest and saying you hurt me a lot, please leave me alone. But that would not get me anywhere right :S

You're correct, this won't get you anywhere. IF she calls you and IF you answer the call, I'd advise you to take this even further. Do not get into any conversation thread where you talk about how you feel. I've seen too many guys get caught in this trap and the only result is another conversation that's pissed them off.

Be cold, be calculated, and even if she asks you how you feel about the situation, just ask her why she's even asking because she obviously wasn't concerned about them before. Any contact with her from now on should be on your terms.

 

[StepItUp]

Update.

So she tried to call me last night I didn't pick up.

Now I am thinking should I call or text or do what am confused....

 

[betheman]

she has been f cucking someone else or at least someone else appeared on the radar.

she will deny it, dont be her puppy, if she keep banging on send her a reply text...'you got the break you wanted, its given me time to think'....hamster warp factor 10 !

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

Update.

So she tried to call me last night I didn't pick up.

Now I am thinking should I call or text or do what am confused....

NO CONTACT!

She's out, done, finished. She doesn't get your attention anymore. They do this after a break up, to see (whether intentional or not) if they can reel you back in. If you give in and talk to them, it makes them more certain of their decision. Don't give them that satisfaction. Vanish from her life forever.

Also, read this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=160056
It's hard but you'll get there.