So I got dumped...

[Bigg Boss]

Finally found a girl that was worth having a relationship with. I mean I usually was around just talking to girls, dating and all that **** but I finally had found someone that I wanted to keep. Kept it for 6 months.

But since I wasn't use to commitment, I treated her like we were only "dating" and continued to act like a challenge at times, and was a complete *******. I showed her alot of love sometimes but other times I looked skeptical.

So finally, she finally got the courage to call me up and said that "I think we should seperate". Now me and my fat ass ego was like 'well... if thats what you want then ok". Said bye and that was it.

But it doesn't end there. I immediately call my best friend who I just sit there and spill my feelings out. I don't cry, hell no. I say I should just let her go but best friend is like "You on that DJ **** hardcore. Your ego is ****in huge. :nono: ". And I realized best friend was right. But since I'm so stuck up in this DJ thing, I was scared to call her back. So best friend ended up doing it and asking her 'why did you break up with him'. To sum it up, she basically said I didn't pay her enuf attention at all (which is true, after a half year you can kinda calm that playa **** down) and that i acted like i didn't care.

So after I found that out, I fought wit myself for an hour and eventually called her back. But when I did, my brain was ****ed up. What was I going to say? I asked her to be real wit me and she said that it was real that she thought i wasn't caring for her. She knew I loved her but I just didn't seem to care (she had a hard time explaining it). I ended up trying to say that I was trying so hard to not seem clingy and **** becuz I loved her. But after that, I ran out of things to say, I was just really f*cked up. She didn't say anything much at all after that. So I was like "Well i'll just talk to you sometime". And we parted.

WHAT THE **** DO I DO? It's not like she's done anything wrong to me. I'm the one that messed up. I should try to fix it right? But how???

Someone help me. Call it onenitis or whatever but I don't see anything wrong with loving your girlfriend. Damn... Should I expect a call back? Or do I need to man up and call again tommorow?

 

[rocky_mtn]

How old are you? You sound young, so don't stress it, move on.

Walk away. Don't call her.

Go out and hang out with your buds, go out and meet other women.

Unless you think this woman is the one you should be with (which she probably isn't) then just move on.

It svcks, but she probabluy won't call you back and you shouldn't call her back.

 

[white cloud 8]

If you are feeling down and hurt, it will take time to heal. Chin up.

 

[mountain]

you really need to let this one go man, you've rode it far beyond its logical conclusion...

There is nothing wrong with loving your girlfriend, but that is not the case here. I've read your previous posts, you've undoubtedly got one-itis. This girl is the source of all your self worth.

Do not call her. With every emotional attempt to reach out to her, you dig the grave deeper. The fact is that you can never spill your guts to a woman and expect her to maintain respect for you.

Whether you want "save" this relationship or move on... the only option is to stop talking to her. She may come back to you, she may not, but you need to have some respect for yourself.

You never attempt to meet new girls, do you?

 

[Bigg Boss]

I'm always meeting new women, that's no biggie. But that was my main chick

But thanks for the help guys. I guess I'll just sit back and if she decides to call back, then I'll just see what happens. If she doesn't... Oh well...

6 months gone in 20 seconds, damn thats crazy

 

[nonchalant]

SBAP and PYCO

 

[Chemistry]

So, how old are you?

 

[omgwtfm8]

She'll call you back.. Act like you moved on with your life well.

 

[Bvbidd]

This stuff does not work for girlfriends.

Everybody can get bored after 6 months, expecially if your young.

 

[Bigg Boss]

SBAP and PYCO

I got the stop being a ***** part but PYCO? Pull Your C0ck Out?

 

[Bigg Boss]

Here's an update (whoever cares lol):

I changed my myspace page, changed my name, status (to single) and everything. My ABOUT ME part made it seem like I was over her cuz I was talkin about being single again. And I moved her to the last of my top 16 friends (I wasn't going to totally diss her).

Then after about a day, I notice she does the EXACT SAME THING. all the way to putting me as last. Then she posts a blog about being sad about a breakup and she wrote a poem. So I'm like "Yeah she's sobbin now, she'll call soon". Lol so later at 10pm she calls me twice (I don't pick up). I finally decide to call her at 11pm, and she tries to act like everything is all good. Like we friends, (askin me how I'm doin, what I do today). I give short answers and sh*t then i'm like "OOK? U wanted somethin". Then she is at a lost of words and sh*t. (HAHA b8tch i own you). Anyway, she's really hurt.

But I start being a little more nice and we continue to talk. Somewhere in there she says somethin and I'm like "I don't care". Then she gets serious and is like "you never care." Blah blah. Later I talk about how her myspace page changed up and she's saying she was sad and mad when she saw my new page, so she was pissed.

Then I tell her I'm gonna let her sleep and she's like noo (I really serious "noo") and doesn't want to get off the phone with me. I eventually ask, "Was it for the better?" and she knows exactly what I'm talkin about. She says "i don't know anymore.... i thought it was at first and now i dont know...". She asks me have I deleted her pictures and I say yeah. I think she started crying. She was talking all soft and was all "why" and stuff.

Closing the conversation I tell her to send me a picture that I'll keep. She's like OK (At first she wasn't with it but I got her to say OK). Then I tell her I love her, and she's like shocked and is like "What?". I say it again and she says it back and the conversation ends there.

She sent me the picture this morning w/ a message saying "I hope u dont delete it and if u do dont tell me ok, lol. love u"

So what's gonna happen now?

 

[gongxia649]

HEY AT LEAST SHE CALLS U BACK...

Mine has a new bf. i was shocked, my heart hurt, and felt like the end of the world for me.

anyway good luck

 

[blueguy]

She left you because you had a large power disparity (ie: 70/30). You gave her some power by saying 'I love you' (55/45)... now just pretend it never happened. Don't give too much because then she'll leave you for the opposite reason! You have to stay in control!

This was a perfect turnaround. She gives you a sh!t test because she wants more power in the relationship. You act like it is fine (without showing anger/resentment), thus maintaining her perception that the power is true and that you are in control of yourself. She calls you. You give in to her phone call, and she acts submissive. You tell her that you do love her, giving her back some power and flexibility in the relationship (which is what she wanted, while at the same time wanting to know that you were still a MAN).

 

[Jariel]

Well, this does not sound like the "typical" rejection scenario, so treat this one differently. To me it sounds like she cares a lot about you, but reached a stage where she wasn't getting the emotional fulfillment she wanted, and her dumping you was a ploy to get the message across to you.

You see, in a relationship you have to drop all the games and challenges. When a girl cares for you, it can really hurt her and make her feel rejected every time you act cold or dismissive. You already have the girl, so you really don't need to be playing these games. In fact, after 6 months you should feel comfortable being yourself and also telling her exactly how you feel. The only "DJ" things you need to do is respect yourself and don't be taken for granted. Forget the games, being a jerk, being ****y and so on.

My best friend said much the same thing to me as your friend said to you. He told me he saw a negative change come over me from all this seduction crap and I needed to stop trying to control everything and just be myself. He was totally right! I think you have reached the same conclusion I have - that a lot of seduction advice can be very destructive!

One important thing to remember - most of the guys giving seduction advice are clueless about relationships. Their aim is to attract and pick up women, but they have no idea how to keep them! So take their advice lightly!

Anyway, back to your relationship. Judging from what you have said so far, there's still a chance for this to work if you want it to. If she dumped you because her interest dropped or there was another guy, then I would strongly advise you to move on and forget her. However, that's not the case and I suspect this girl really cares for you.

So my advice is to talk to her sincerely and tell her you want to give your relationship another go. Don't be wussy, whiny and do not beg, but tell her something like "I understand where you're coming from now. I just wish you'd have told me sooner". And make it sound like you didn't really know what she wanted.

Good luck!

 

[blueguy]

I've read a lot of your posts Jariel, and you know what you're talking about. Learned a lot... BUT I really do believe that sometimes 'ourself' isn't who we want to be - (referring to 'just be yourself'). Sometimes I do believe that you should envision who you want yourself to be and act accordingly. Sometimes you're not actually that person yet. That's where the 'games' come in to play. They're in all reality you acting as if you have more respect for yourself than you actually do at the moment. Sometimes you have to act in a way not congruent to the way you feel at a moment in time just because you know you can do better. As long as you understand the logic behind certain actions and why they work, it is not at all bad (in my opinion) to choose those actions sometimes and demand respect or show more affection for your partner (whatever the case may be).

 

[Bigg Boss]

Well we talked on the phone today and she's talking as though we go out (more like an "It's complicated" relationship).

Anyway she was at the water park and said she wish I was there. Said she saw all those couples and stuff. In my mind I'm like "but I'm not ur boyfriend". But I don't say it. We just talk, fun talk.

She sent me a text saying "I want to ask u something later whenever ur not busy". I tell her at 12:30 (which is like 5 minutes from now!)

This is gonna feel weird if she asks me out again. Because it's usually the other way around lol. I may be jynxin myself. What if she's like "we can't do this, we can't talk to each other". Cuz I mean some guy called her while we were on the phone (called her on her house phone while i was talkin to her on her cell).

I'm a paranoid mother f*cker lol. Whatever happens, I hope I'm ready.

 

[blueguy]

"we can't do this, we can't talk to each other"

"I prefer that we see each other because I think you're a really great person and make me happy, but if you think that we should see each other people it is your freedom. I prefer that both of us are happy in our relationship, and if that is not the case and there is nothing that can be done to fix it, I think that we should see each other people."

Translation: You like her, but you'd let her go if nothing can be fixed. And you're confident that you can find another replacement. (even if you're aren't)