So how do you keep a young girl's attention?

[Firefly]

I am fortunate enought that even though I am in my mid-30's, I still have the opportunity to meet a lot of attractive young women. I have had a fair amount of success (hooked up with an 18-yr old and a 19 yr old this year!) but am finding it difficult to deal with the barriers arising from the general stupidity that seems to accompany being an 18-25 year old woman, particularly the amount of flaking and no-shows that take place.

Two recent examples:

1. Arranged to meet up with a 20 year old in the city, about an hour away, along with some other people. I texted her four hours to confirm, and mention that I would need to travel an hour to see her. She texted back to say yes. When I get there, she is a no-show. I texted her to call her out on standing me up when I told her it would take an hour for me to get there, and she responded by saying she thought I had other things to do as well so it was no big deal if she did not turn up. I asked why she did not bother to text to say she was not coming, and she did not respond.

2. A 21 yr old suggested we meet for coffee on a particular day. The night before, I ask her to confirm the time and she says she will let me know. On the day, she texts and says she has to work. I think her refusal to commit shows she had other plans. She asked if we could make it later this week, and I just replied "no worries".

I think the issue is that I am failing to create sufficient interest level in these women, so I am often used as a "back up plan" - fun to hang out with, but easily ditched if something better comes along. Any suggestions on how I can combat this?

 

[jophil28]

I think the issue is that I am failing to create sufficient interest level in these women,

NO. The issue is that you are trying to have meetups and hangout dates with children in women's bodies.

Their behavior is a consequence of a combination of poor parenting, the Paris Hilton culture, a feminist atmosphere that promotes entitlement, and an education system that panders to them purely because they are female.
"Wimmin's Studies" indeed !

If I were you I would have a couple of 30 somethings as your more reliable 'companions' and treat the kids as party balloons.

 

[Jitterbug]

I think the issue is that I am failing to create sufficient interest level in these women, so I am often used as a "back up plan" - fun to hang out with, but easily ditched if something better comes along. Any suggestions on how I can combat this?

Become a higher value man, someone they want something from.

Dress better, work out & diet to get a better physique, so you become better looking & more attractive.

Become more resourceful and connected. You're the guy that people go to if they really want something. Young girls want to get to the best parties, the chances to become popular, to feel like a celebrity. If you can give them that, they are yours.

Get richer.

Get famous.

etc. you get the idea.

For now, don't travel an hour to meet them without even a backup plan. You're so naive in making that move that it surprises me you're in your mid-30s. That's telling them loud and clear you are of lesser value, because you're making too much effort to merely be in their presence. Blaming women for their inconsistencies is a waste of time, too. You should know this already.

When you make a date, make the time right there. Don't "ask her the night before to confirm the time" - that's for teenagers new to the dating world. You're a grown man whose time is valuable, not subjected to the whims of a young girl. Whenever you make a time commitment with someone, make them feel that fact. If you don't respect your own time, nobody will.

 

[Jeffst1980]

When I date girls in that range, I ALWAYS make a backup plan. The "I'll text you the day of" thing usually spells trouble--you can put your foot down and tell her you will only agree to concrete plans, but most likely she won't agree to this ultimatum. So, treat it as an occupational hazard, and make other plans.

Thing is, even STATUS won't help you with girls that young. They don't care if you're rich--they're not planning on settling down anytime soon. If you let it get to you it can really hurt your self-esteem, so you need to treat em as easily replaceable and exercise only a minimal effort in getting them.

 

[squirrels]

Everyone else has covered it. Most younger women just aren't looking for "companions" or "relationships". They say they are, but they're really just "playing house"...you try to lock them down, it may last for a little while, but eventually they will get restless and cheat on you.

As someone else said in another thread on this forum (I forget which, I think it was the movie thread), "95% of anything is crap". This goes for people, too. I'm not trying to perpetuate the myth of the "quality woman", but try to understand that most women in that age bracket are just not fit yet for relationships.

It's not through any fault of their own, but they just haven't yet lived long enough to mature to where they can make those kinds of decisions. They haven't learned to recognize character in other people, their personalities are not developed, they're still kind of "floating around".

They're great companions for when you want to do something exciting, but don't want to do it alone. By "exciting", I mean stuff that they don't see often. The PUAs talk about using "shiny things" to get their attention. Travel works...I've taken girls to Atlantic City, to the beach, stuff like that. It doesn't cost me anything extra to drive down there and get a hotel by myself vs. with a companion. I've taken them to football games and events like that, too.

Keep showing them sides of yourself that they've never seen before. And maintain an air of authority/superiority with them. Even when you ask their opinion on something, you're challenging them to demonstrate worth, not relying on them. The second you put yourself on "equal footing" with them, you become just another dude trying to get in her pants.

Girls at a younger age still have that "daddy" instinct...you want to be a mature male figure who treats her like a little princess...and by that I don't mean worship her/supplicate to her, I mean don't take her too seriously...remember she's just a little girl. Treat her like it.

 

[Slickster]

Squirrels has pretty much nailed it but I'd like to offer a little more to what has already been said. My work has me in direct contact with the 16-25 crew so I have a pretty good take on how this works. It's not like I'm hitting on the young ones these days but way back when......

In my experience younger girls (18-23) are super impulsive and too easily distracted. The cute ones have big social circles and lots going on. (At least in their heads ) Making plans even a day or two in advance is far too much for them. They already have a dozen or so guys they are interested in and meet new guys all the time. If you give them too much time you've lost their interest.

If you get their number you should call them that day or the next. Don't wait 3 or 4 days or a week because they will literally forget who you even are.

When it comes to making plans or dates it's best to call them right before you go or even when you are already out. Boring stuff isn't going to fly as they probably have something better going on. Tell them you are having a great time at xyz and to meet you there. As you can see even 4 hours might be too much time for them and they'll forget.

There's no sense in calling to confirm or requesting she call to let you know she can't make it. It's all lost on her.

It's also tougher to get one-on-one dates early on. These girls like to be with their "friends" where the action is. Group dates are probably better in the early stages. If you can get "in" with her social circle and her friends like you and think you are cool then you are golden. If not, it doesn't matter how good looking, rich, or cool you are. You have no chance. Try to make friends with her friends.

When they get to 24 they usually start to get a little more grown up and the game starts to change a bit. They'll start to venture out a little more beyond their social circle and you have better chances.

If you can put up with all the high school drama, supreme flakiness, and get in with her friends you can have some good times. LOL.

 

[Jamo]

a baby's bauble lined with mind altering substances? :crackup:

 

[Falcon25]

These are kids man. Why would you not expect these things? If you want someone to treat you with maturity, find someone who is mature. Flakes, and all that happen with this age category. Try to date WOMEN, rather than kids. All I met for a long time were women 19 to 23, and I have to tell you man, they are just not there mentally. They don't want anything serious. By serious I mean, not even a couple weeks of exclusitivity. They just want to have fun, you have to treat as that. Just try to get laid and nothing more. If you want something more meaningful, try to go for above 26 women. They are crazy too, but they have a sense of maturity. And, you will soon realize that you will like hanging with someone a bit older too. The age category of what you are going after is just not good for you.

 

[betterthandead]

You remind me of a friend in his 40s complaining about flakey early 20 year old women he met at a bar or online.

It's like you're driving on a highway and you've gone past 2 huge signs telling you you're about to drive over the cliff and you just miss it because you are too involved in listening to the latest pop song or texting on the phone.

 

[Firefly]

Just wanted to say thanks for all the insightful advice. I had a death in the family so was not on the forum for awhile, but there is some real DJ gold here.

 

[backbreaker]

It's the equivlmant to a salesman going in to ask for a sale when he hasn't laid the proper ground work. you may get a quick yes, but you will get alot of "i need to go home and talk to the wife's" and "well I need to go home to check the insurances" only to never come back. the problem isn't the client, you didn't' lay the proper foundation. This was something that i never could get across to my boss when I sold cars, I didn't give a damn if a client left, they were going to come back, because I did my job.


has nothing to do with age. 40 year old women will do the same thing if proper foundation is laid. The thing about young 20 year olds.. or in general, the more, "hot" or "prime" a woman is, the tighter your game has to be. you can get away with alot more **** with a 35 year old, becuase she doesn't have as many options, she is more, desperate if you want to use that word. But to get a pretty hot 22 year old to REALLY be in you, you need to be on freaking point.

 

[vcumenina]

Interact with younger women who value their own time and money as well as the time and money of others. A woman who has goals and ambitions but also values male companionship. Try the 23-29 age group. 18 is way too young to expect such maturity.