johndoe123
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- Jun 22, 2007
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when you read the thread title, did you know exactly what I meant?
i was, unfortunately, raised a very certain way -- to give consideration and respect to all. all girls are princesses, to be treated a certain way at all times., blah etc. etc.
While i thought i was always taking the "high road" and doing the "right thing", actually I was just being raised to be an emasculated pushover. it's taken me a long time but i've finally seen how these kindnesses i've been handing out so freely are to be given ONLY to those who deserve it.
but i've been raised to think that way for 22 years. i always fall back into my old habits when dealing with anyone -- that the considerations i extend to others will be met likewise.
i'm much more realistic now, but even though i've seen the reality of my situation, i feel powerless to change it; i'm so set in my old ways and mindset i can't seem to break free. i know what to (read the bible, know how to start convo) but i'm always falling back into bad habits of overthinking and overanalysis. every little encounter means too much. It boils down to this: when i don't push my feelings aside for others well-being, i feel terrible. it's not right, but i still can't help felling a weird combination of guilt/loathing, maybe a few other emotions i haven't identified yet.
blah blah blah, i'm not asking for advice on my specific situation (although it'd be appreciated), my most important question is: how do you get over your OLD self. i've read the bible, read encouraging, enlightening posts which have opened my eyes to reality (for YEARS; how sad is that? i've know of sosuave for 4 years and i've barely gotten anywhere).
how do you get rid of your old habits when they're always on your mind? when it's who you are? how do you break free?
thanks
-a desperate, end-of-his-rope johndoe
i was, unfortunately, raised a very certain way -- to give consideration and respect to all. all girls are princesses, to be treated a certain way at all times., blah etc. etc.
While i thought i was always taking the "high road" and doing the "right thing", actually I was just being raised to be an emasculated pushover. it's taken me a long time but i've finally seen how these kindnesses i've been handing out so freely are to be given ONLY to those who deserve it.
but i've been raised to think that way for 22 years. i always fall back into my old habits when dealing with anyone -- that the considerations i extend to others will be met likewise.
i'm much more realistic now, but even though i've seen the reality of my situation, i feel powerless to change it; i'm so set in my old ways and mindset i can't seem to break free. i know what to (read the bible, know how to start convo) but i'm always falling back into bad habits of overthinking and overanalysis. every little encounter means too much. It boils down to this: when i don't push my feelings aside for others well-being, i feel terrible. it's not right, but i still can't help felling a weird combination of guilt/loathing, maybe a few other emotions i haven't identified yet.
blah blah blah, i'm not asking for advice on my specific situation (although it'd be appreciated), my most important question is: how do you get over your OLD self. i've read the bible, read encouraging, enlightening posts which have opened my eyes to reality (for YEARS; how sad is that? i've know of sosuave for 4 years and i've barely gotten anywhere).
how do you get rid of your old habits when they're always on your mind? when it's who you are? how do you break free?
thanks
-a desperate, end-of-his-rope johndoe