I wish you guys would put your age in your profile. Advice given to a 20 year old is going to be drastically different than that of a 45 year old.
I suspect you guys are very young judging by your text conversations. Think about this: Women don't even begin to get their heads out of their asses until they start approaching 30. Before that they rarely have a clue as to what they want and as to what is appropriate, respectful behavior. They are leaves in the wind.
In (what I'm guessing to be) your age group, I observe that it seems normal for women to think they have every right to hang out with other men, to party with them, etc. And young men accept that simply to avoid upsetting the apple cart.
This represents more monkey-dancing to please and not offend women. Men's fear of chastisement for enforcing rules is the very thing that made women get out of hand in society.
It is fundamentally inappropriate for a women to disrespect her man by going out and partying with other men. It is also fundamentally inappropriate for a man to avoid creating rules and parameters for the relationship and enforcing them dispassionately but with iron resolve.
Listen up, guys...
Every women needs and craves a man who sets her boundaries and enforces them. They will put up a fuss, to be sure, but in so doing a deep craving is satisfied. Women need guidance and discipline, and deep down they know it. They were created to be a support to men and not to run roughshod over us with disrespectful behavior.
OP, you need to decide what is appropriate and what is inappropriate behavior, define it and convey it to her, and let the cards fall where they may. If she rebels, then you've taken out the trash. If she accepts, you have just massively strengthened your hand and made the way for her to respect you.
WHen a man lays out the rules, he MUST do so dispassionately and be unaffected by her wailing. You must be a rock. Your rules and expectations must be your very essence, emitting so deeply from your core that you present them as something that should be as blatantly obvious as the fact that the sky is blue. It must come from your core. That is called "conviction" and is the most powerful way to influence.
The idea of "assumed authority" comes into play here too. I used to be a polite, overly friendly guy who never wanted to rock the boat and only stood up for myself when a certain threshold was crossed. But I learned the power of assumed authority. Everywhere I go I assume that I am in control and that my expectations are reasonable. Again, it comes from the core, but at first you must "assume a virtue if you have it not", as Shakespeare said.
Define what is acceptable and reasonable to you, and require respect of your positions from others. Those who don't like it are a detriment to your well-being and should be eliminated from your life. You're the boss. Your concerns are reasonable and should be dealt with using a strong hand.
You lay the rules out with detachment. Remember that word. Emotion conveys that you doubt your own convictions. Convey it from your core with minimal words. Excessive words are your enemy. Action and correction are your tools. Your convictions will be well thought-out, and you have sought the advice of your peers, and admirable thing. Therefore you are equipped to convey your parameters for the relationship.
