So frustrated

[Die Hard]

GODDAAAAAAAAAAMNIT!!!!!

To be honest, I've been in a difficult place lately, when it comes to women. I've been switching between wanting an emotional connection and wanting "just sex " over and again. And in the end, it brought me none of the two coz the "decent" girls think I'm acting too much like a bad guy and the "easy lays" think I'm acting too much like a nice guy.

Anyway, I seem to have found balance now, I'm sexual when the girl inspires that in me and I'm more sincere on an emotional level when the girl inspires that in me.

So now I'm more at peace with myself, I guess... And it radiates off me, attracting more girls. I haven't had sex for quite some time but tonight I was being awesome and almost went home with a goodlooking chick but........ SHE HAD A MOTHERFVCKING ORBITER WHO TOTALLY C0CKBLOCKED ME!!!

Things were going so fvcking well and I almost went home with her, I had her in the palm of my hand and I'm almost certain I would've pulled it off coz she was responding positive to hints I was giving. But this azzhole ruined it, she didn't take action and allowed him to bl0ck me, and I couldn't get around his annoying c0ckblock by myself either.

SO FVCKING PISSED OFF AND FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!!

Sigh.... Anyway, I'll probably get another shot at her eventually and just have to be patient. It's just that everything was going so good, she was a little tipsy and I was gaming her so smoothly, all the stars were alligning!! This was my night and it should've ended with a lay instead of me sitting home alone writing a frustrated post on SoSuave

 

[Yewki]

So what happened? What would you have done differently in hindsight?

 

[atlantadawg]

Just b1tching about doesn't solve much. What happened? Break it down and we may be able to offer some advice.

 

[Gerdovich]

Yeah! Let it all out and give us the details!!

 

[Lozboss]

Get her number?

If so send her a text saying "Wanna catch a drink next week? This time without your orbiting loser friend"

 

[Die Hard]

I'm paranoid about people stumbling across this forum and recognizing details, so I don't give those.

In hindsight, I'm not sure if I should've done anything different. I believe this girl is the type who orchestrates situations like these in order to see if I'm man enough to handle it and take charge of the situation...

I could've been more bold and just tell the guy to fvck off, he was a loser and I owned him in every possible way. Yet, he is her orbiter and has value to her, so even though I believe she wanted to see how I handled the situation, I was also worried that she would take it up for him if I was too "mean" towards him, lol. I tried to neutralize him in a smooth and tactful manner, tried to get her alone with me. But he would parry my attempts and came up with ways to prevent us from being alone.

It's like a game, we both know each other's intentions but we pretend they are not there, all the while playing this game of chess with each other. My gut tells me to just cut the crap at such moments and simply tell him to FVCK OFF! But it seems weak and gives the girl the idea that you want her very badly. Might as well blow up her phone everyday, kind of the same idea, it shows a lot of outcome dependency...

If there's one thing I can blame myself for, it's not escalating earlier. Coz I was alone with her earlier in the evening and there were chances to escalate into kissing etc. at that point, before the orbiter came into play. But I took my time and was laidback in gaming her. After all, she was co-operating and things were going just fine, lots of chemistry and the two of us planning to walk home together etc. I didn't feel any need to escalate quickly and had not counted on this loser ****blocking me later on!

But in hindsight, I should've been aware of that. I saw him with her earlier that night, before I even started talking to her. Thinking back of it, he was walking after her like a little puppy all night. I should've seen it coming that he might interfere with her and me later that night.... But all my attention was focused on gaming her, saying the right things to her, seducing her and watching her responses etc. This caused me to lose awareness of my surroundings and the overall situation, I hadn't given the orbiter any thought, it never crossed my mind that he might become a problem later that night.

So I guess the lessons are:

1. While gaming a chick, always keep "situational awareness". There's you and the girl and the process between the two of you. But there is also a setting that the two of you are in and you need to be aware of that setting and the possible difficulties that setting might present to the process between you and her.
2. If you see an opening to escalate, TAKE IT. It's like doing a sales pitch, sales people often keep talking and promoting their product to a customer while that customer has already given them a clear buying signal. Once you see that signal, you need to immediatley stop explaining how wonderful your product is and just CLOSE THE DEAL.
Same here, I could've isolated the girl and go for the kiss earlier on, she was ready for it. But I was in no hurry and thought I would kiss close her later on when we would walk home together. That moment never came because of the orbiter.....

I shouldn't blame him for being an annoying c0ckblocking azzhole. I shouldn't blame her for staying passive and wanting to see how I would handle the situation. I should blame myself for not playing the game well enough. I might very well have fvcked her that night if I played thre game better.

 

[Die Hard]

I'm paranoid about people stumbling across this forum and recognizing details, so I don't give those.

In hindsight, I'm not sure if I should've done anything different. I believe this girl is the type who orchestrates situations like these in order to see if I'm man enough to handle it and take charge of the situation... Well, I don't think she orchestrated the situation but she did nothing to prevent it and sure didn't do anything to neutralize it once the orbiter started interfering with us.

I could've been more bold and just tell the guy to fvck off, he was a loser and I owned him in every possible way. Yet, he is her orbiter and has value to her, so even though I believe she wanted to see how I handled the situation, I was also worried that she would take it up for him if I was too "mean" towards him, lol. I tried to neutralize him in a smooth and tactful manner, tried to get her alone with me. But he would parry my attempts and came up with ways to prevent us from being alone.

It's like a game, me and him both know each other's intentions but we pretend they are not there, all the while playing this game of chess with each other. My gut tells me to just cut the crap at such moments and simply tell him to FVCK OFF! But it seems weak and gives the girl the idea that you want her very badly. Might as well blow up her phone everyday, kind of the same idea, it shows a lot of outcome dependency...

If there's one thing I can blame myself for, it's not escalating earlier. Coz I was alone with her earlier in the evening and there were chances to escalate into kissing etc. at that point, before the orbiter came into play. But I took my time and was laidback in gaming her. After all, she was co-operating and things were going just fine, lots of chemistry and the two of us planning to walk home together etc. I didn't feel any need to escalate quickly and had not counted on this loser ****blocking me later on!

But in hindsight, I should've been aware of that. I saw him with her earlier that night, before I even started talking to her. Thinking back of it, he was walking after her like a little puppy all night. I should've seen it coming that he might interfere with her and me later that night.... But all my attention was focused on gaming her, saying the right things to her, seducing her and watching her responses etc. This caused me to lose awareness of my surroundings and the overall situation, I hadn't given the orbiter any thought, it never crossed my mind that he might become a problem later that night.

So I guess the lessons are:

1. While gaming a chick, always keep "situational awareness". There's you and the girl and the process between the two of you. But there is also a setting that the two of you are in and you need to be aware of that setting and the possible difficulties that setting might present to the process between you and her.
2. If you see an opening to escalate, TAKE IT. It's like doing a sales pitch, sales people often keep talking and promoting their product to a customer while that customer has already given them a clear buying signal. Once you see that signal, you need to immediatley stop explaining how wonderful your product is and just CLOSE THE DEAL.
Same here, I could've isolated the girl and go for the kiss earlier on, she was ready for it. But I was in no hurry and thought I would kiss close her later on when we would walk home together. However, that moment never came because of the orbiter.....

I shouldn't blame him for being an annoying c0ckblocking azzhole. I shouldn't blame her for staying passive and wanting to see how I would handle the situation. I should blame myself for not playing the game well enough. I might very well have fvcked her that night if I played the game better.

 

[Die Hard]

Double post

 

[zekko]

Die Hard, you're not really showing much outcome independence on this one. It's one night, it's one chick. Just an observation.

 

[Die Hard]

Good observation, Zekko, thanks. I must admit that I AM outcome dependent at the moment. I've met several new women lately and I'll probably feel restless/outcome dependent until I seal the deal with one of them... Catch 22, obviously...

 

[Die Hard]

Double Post

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I shouldn't blame her for staying passive and wanting to see how I would handle the situation. I should blame myself for not playing the game well enough. I might very well have fvcked her that night if I played the game better.

Winner winner chicken dinner!

That's pretty much the best answer, for pretty much any outcome that didn't come out the way you wanted, game or otherwise.

So as Yewki asked, what would you have done differently? How could you have better handled it? Closing earlier isn't always the answer, as that ignores the problem of c0ckblockers, as they'll always be a problem. You can't always isolate before they show up.

 

[Die Hard]

See your PM box, taiyuu.

Anyway, problem solved. I kiss closed some chick tonight and to be honest, if it hadn't been her, it would've been another coz there were several candidates. I was on FIRE tonight!

This was just what I needed! I had this feeling like things just "clicked" inside of me for a while now, like I reached some kind of inner balance and some kind of weight had fallen of my shoulder. I just needed to experience one actual succes like a kiss close with some girl to confirm it and really set me free.

Well, that happened today... And now I feel like some animal that has been released out of its cage