So..do you guys believe in ageless love??

[Joe The Homophobe]

I'm just wondering what the community here believes when it comes to love and what is acceptable. Is everything ok? (as long as they are of legal age of course) or do you follow a rule of maybe 5-10 years younger/older than you?

I'm wondering what you guys think is "decent." For example an 20 year old with a 40 year old woman might be seen as extreme, but what about a 40 year old with a 20 year old female? aren't we discriminating against men when it comes to age and love? it seems acceptable that women can date any men they want but older men can't date younger women without being labeled a creep or a pedophile even if the female in question is of legal age. Then again the whole age stereotypes seem illogical since as a species we should look for attraction and compatibility and not worry about age as much as we should worry about how things would work out.

I ask this because I seek advice. I'm close to dating a 19 year old (graduated in 07, im 24). Yet she is wise beyond her years she is more mature than most of the hors my age I see around campus. This is all new to me as I have always liked older women and always dated women my age or older. I'm just wondering what you guys think of my age difference and hers and any advice you could give me.

 

[Purple-Haze]

Joe, I personally don't think a 24 year old man dating a 19 year old is "creepy".

If you two are on a level playing field and she is emotionally and mentally together, there is really no reason for ANYONE to criticize your R. I frankly don't see the age gap as being anything substantial.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

anyone have any advice and tips to make this work? i don't know how i will handle telling her my age. Maybe it might be a sort of attraction as females tend to feel more secure with older guys, maybe it will put her off. I personally look 20 rather than mid 20's so that might help me out make it not akward. Then again it might not mean anything as long as the attraction is there.

 

[Jitterbug]

I'm 25 dating a 18 & a 19 y.o. Our situations aren't even remotely the same as 40 v 20. Those two aren't wise beyond their years, but they're fun & pleasant to be around. So-called mature strong independent women (around my age or a bit older) are often boring. I'm done with dating them.

When I'm 40, I'd have no problem dating 20 year olds either. People who don't like it can go home and screw their right-hands.

 

[Jitterbug]

i don't know how i will handle telling her my age.

Tell her the truth, if she asks. Why the hell are you ashamed about this? Your age difference is 5 years. Bugger all.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

jitterbug got any advice for me? if so post it here or pm me. I seek advice since i'm new to all this and I don't know how to handle it.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

Tell her the truth, if she asks. Why the hell are you ashamed about this? Your age difference is 5 years. Bugger all.

I do worry about other things (her parents, her friends) how do I handle them?

 

[The Bat]

anyone have any advice and tips to make this work? i don't know how i will handle telling her my age.

If you can't even handle telling her your age, then how do you intend to handle a relationship with her? You have to be honest with her about the things you can't change (i.e. age, race).

Plus, she's 19. Just have fun with her.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

If you can't even handle telling her your age, then how do you intend to handle a relationship with her? You have to be honest with her about the things you can't change (i.e. age, race).

Plus, she's 19. Just have fun with her.

I don't know how to handle it in the way as to not make it seem akward. Maybe you people are right and it won't mean a thing but im guessing the delivery of it has to do a lot with it.

 

[Purple-Haze]

I don't know how to handle it in the way as to not make it seem akward. Maybe you people are right and it won't mean a thing but im guessing the delivery of it has to do a lot with it.

What makes you think she's going to perceive the age difference as a negative?

 

[The Bat]

Well, assume that you're telling them the size of your penis. 24 will sound a lot better from that perspective.

All fun aside, it's an intrinsic quality of you that you can never change. If she (note I said 'she', and not her friends/family) can't accept that intrinsic, inherent quality of you then don't expect anything serious out of that relationship.

Just as race is an intrinsic, inherent quality, so is age. Say you tell a girl you've been dating that you're really a different race than what you look like (for example, you might be black when you really look white). She then proceeds to think differently (negatively) of you after this. Would you continue seeing her?

And forget approval from her friends and family. If she's as mature as you say she is, then she won't care what they have to think about your age. She'll only care what you think about your age. (And so far, you're ashamed of it...change that...use penis analogy).

 

[Jitterbug]

jitterbug got any advice for me? if so post it here or pm me. I seek advice since i'm new to all this and I don't know how to handle it.

My advice is to treat it like a non-issue, as it is exactly that. Since you look younger, more 20 than 24, then it's even less of a concern.

I do worry about other things (her parents, her friends) how do I handle them?

If they say "you're a bit too old for her", tell them exactly what you just told us, preferably in her presence: "Yeah I usually date women my age or older, but X is wise beyond her years blah blah {insert good reasons why you want to date here here}". Look into their eyes, say it with confidence, and smile at her. That'll shut them up good.

If you're comfortable with it and don't feel ashamed or apologize for who you are, then she'll be OK with it too.

If she can't handle it herself, there's always another 19 year old just around the corner, who's just as good and has no problem with it. When I was that age, the girls always went for guys around my age now (mid-20s). Some even went for guys in their early 30s. I had to suck it up then. Why the hell should I feel ashamed now? Neither should you.

 

[KarmaSutra]

It's arrogant to assume what you know what someone else is thinking, ESPECIALLY a 19 year old girl. Her biggest concern is whether to take her top off and dance on a bar or play beer pong with the fella's.

Her future is not really a concern at this juncture. She's interested in exploration of her sexual self. You being older is a plus. Don't fret over what you think she's contemplating, because she isn't. Instead focus on having fun with her, exploring your sexual and pre-adult pubescent ignorance.

Ignorance, in the frame, is not a bad thing.

 

[Warrior74]

I ask this because I seek advice. I'm close to dating a 19 year old (graduated in 07, im 24). Yet she is wise beyond her years she is more mature than most of the hors my age I see around campus. This is all new to me as I have always liked older women and always dated women my age or older. I'm just wondering what you guys think of my age difference and hers and any advice you could give me.

damn dood. its not really that big of a deal. I thought you were gonna say you were like 63 or something! Play ball buddy.