So, did she just reject me?

[Sgthaytham]

For our second date I asked her when she was free next week to go for dinner, and she asked if we could do it the following week because she went away and has spent the last of her money.

She then sent me “We can soft hangout”, but I have no idea what she means by that.

Any ideas?

English isn’t her first language btw

 

[Willie Naylor]

Hang out with her the following week then.

No big deal here.

 

[Mazer]

Sounds like low interest. Reach out to her to set up a date the following week but the odds aren’t in your favor. If she agrees to a date, make it just drinks, no dinner dates early on. I’m assuming “soft date” means not having dinner. Good luck

 

[Sgthaytham]

Sounds like low interest. Reach out to her to set up a date the following week but the odds aren’t in your favor. If she agrees to a date, make it just drinks, no dinner dates early on. I’m assuming “soft date” means not having dinner. Good luck

I’m feeling that “soft date” means “I’m out of money, could we do something less expensive”. She told me she’s pretty much spent most of her money.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I’m feeling that “soft date” means “I’m out of money, could we do something less expensive”. She told me she’s pretty much spent most of her money.

Money coming up on 2nd date isn't a good look she's hard up, basically fishing for a free dinner

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Money coming up on 2nd date isn't a good look she's hard up, basically fishing for a free dinner

Naw sounds like she wants a raincheck because she'll have money a week later, and that if he doesn't want to do that then a cheap date on the currently scheduled day.

@Sgthaytham
Sounds like she went a little crazy with her money and is mindful enough to postpone until she can split the check with you. And she's still willing to hang out the same day as long as it's free or super cheap.

It's up to you if you're feeling generous and want to treat her or wait a week. Personally I would raincheck for a week later; let's her know that you're in no rush and not desperate. And my plans

But if you have to ask this question then sounds like maybe you're lacking some confidence or are being too critical. Dating should be fun and easy. Don't take things personally, enjoy yourself.

 

[SW15]

Sounds like low interest to me, especially because most women don't pay for dates anyway.

 

[Grounded eagle]

For our second date I asked her when she was free next week to go for dinner, and she asked if we could do it the following week because she went away and has spent the last of her money.

She then sent me “We can soft hangout”, but I have no idea what she means by that.

Any ideas?

English isn’t her first language btw

She didn’t reject you.She just said it’s not possible to have dinner with you the following week, and then offered an alternative.
Soft hangout might mean getting together without all the formality of a date,for all we know.It could mean good things for you.

 

[Tilex]

Maybe she wants to Netflix & Chill

 

[Indiveber]

Have you considered asking her what she means by that?

 

[Sgthaytham]

Naw sounds like she wants a raincheck because she'll have money a week later, and that if he doesn't want to do that then a cheap date on the currently scheduled day.

@Sgthaytham
Sounds like she went a little crazy with her money and is mindful enough to postpone until she can split the check with you. And she's still willing to hang out the same day as long as it's free or super cheap.

It's up to you if you're feeling generous and want to treat her or wait a week. Personally I would raincheck for a week later; let's her know that you're in no rush and not desperate. And my plans

But if you have to ask this question then sounds like maybe you're lacking some confidence or are being too critical. Dating should be fun and easy. Don't take things personally, enjoy yourself.

Thanks!

Yeah my first thought was “soft hangout” meant something inexpensive/free. So I thought maybe just asking her to bring a bottle of white wine and we could make dinner together?

But you think it’s best if I set a date for the following Wednesday, so the 1st?

 

[Sgthaytham]

Maybe she wants to Netflix & Chill

I mean possibly… I see how you could take it that way. That’s why I was kinda thinking of asking her to come round with a bottle of wine and we could make dinner together, which could lead to watching something together and the, you know.

 

[Sgthaytham]

Have you considered asking her what she means by that?

not really because I feel that could be weak

 

[lost_blackbird]

What? Asking a question is weak now??
Oh, you chest beating Alphas... Fvcking LOL!!

 

[Sgthaytham]

What? Asking a question is weak now??
Oh, you chest beating Alphas... Fvcking LOL!!

Come on now…

Maybe I could tell that the following is best for me, and ask her what she meant by “soft hangout” and see what she says?

 

[Sgthaytham]

Right, well I asked her what she meant by “soft hangout” and she told me what I thought it was, just hanging out with spending money.

I will just ask her to come round to mine with a bottle of wine and we can make dinner together or something

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Right, well I asked her what she meant by “soft hangout” and she told me what I thought it was, just hanging out with spending money.

I will just ask her to come round to mine with a bottle of wine and we can make dinner together or something

Here is my take on this idea of soft hanging out, simply that hanging out, to me, means not spending money.

Im not adverse to spending money on women, however you have to compile the actual cost to you, because time is also money, this idea that hanging out means time and money, it doesn't sit well with me.

I understand being competitive in the dating marketplace, I totally get it, however if the only options are for you to spend your money, it just sounds a bit like your being taken for a ride.

I don't like this soft hang out idea but I do like that you are not giving up the pursuit here, your pursuing here not chasing so your doing OK but don't escalate to chasing her if she declines! but please keep us updated on how she goes and also, what do you feel the expectation for a hang out is if this is what a soft hang out is?

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

not really because I feel that could be weak

No, you need to open the lines of communication always, if you are just left assuming then that is what makes you look the weakest. It's good that she communicated to you that she was broke, I guess now you wait for her response to see if she was trying to lead you into paying or if she was being genuine, you'll have to forgive me but I don't take communications that leave us with assumptions as genuine, maybe that's just me.

 

[Barrister]

I think you’re over-thinking this one. Assuming Date 1 went well I would be positive with the “soft-hangout” idea to signal possible sex. Just invite her to your place. If she declines you know the money is just an excuse. If she accepts you very well get to bang her. Win-win.

 

[Sgthaytham]

I think you’re over-thinking this one. Assuming Date 1 went well I would be positive with the “soft-hangout” idea to signal possible sex. Just invite her to your place. If she declines you know the money is just an excuse. If she accepts you very well get to bang her. Win-win.

Well she accepted haha