Conversation is a huge skill...especially when it comes to getting women. It's actually really easy once you get it going. Here are a few tips, although I wouldn't be surprised if you found more if you searched the board.
1-Relax
Don't get all wound up in saying the perfect thing, or about the other person not liking you. Just lean back and talk.
2-Notice things around you
Funny/odd things are always going on--you just have to keep your eyes open. You can comment on them. Comment on the surroundings or on what's going on. That's one of the best ways to start a conversation with a stranger or basically do a cold approach (in my opinion).
3-Listen
If you're talking to someone, listen to what they have to say. Don't look around the room or if it's a girl don't sit there burning a hole in her cleavage from the staring.
4-Make Eye Contact
Shows you're listening attentively and interested in what the person has to say. I hold eye contact almost the entire conversation. I may look away to notice something or to grab my drink if i'm at a coffee house, etc.
5-Take genuine interest in the conversation
By listening and making eye contact, you should be genuinely interested in what the person is saying. If you're not, it usually shows. Either change the subject or atleast try to seem interested; but it's best you not fake it.
6-Guide the conversation
People who are good conversationalists will guide the conversation step by step. They keep it interesting and the conversation never dies down because they know how to keep it going. If the conversation starts going outside of the limits...bring it back.
7-Listen more than you talk
People love talking about themselves, and they enjoy the company of people who allow them to do that. So I'd say your talk to listen ratio should be around 40:60 - 30:70. If your'e guiding the conversation this is really easy to do and making it seem like you're actually talking more than you are.
But don't be an intellectual *****. Don't let the girl start talking about her problems. You're in control of the conversation so that if she starts getting out-of-hand with her topics--throwing her problems at you---then you change the subject smoothly.
Now there's a technique on this board called nouning. I strongly suggest you search for it. Basically what you want to do is learn to take conversations off in tangents. Most guys ask one boring question after the next. Don't do that.
Avoid interview questions.
Avoid being negative or talking about negative things
If you MUST use a boring, typical question, only use it if there is NOTHING ELSE for you to say. But try to avoid it at all costs.
So you ask her a question or make a comment about ANYTHING you'd like, then you take her response and turn it into a conversation. The important thing is when you ask questions, you need to learn to ask open-ended questions. Basically questions that give you more than a yes or not.
How many dogs do you have? is a yes or no question
If you could have any pet, what would it be and why? is an open-ended question
And one more thing - Always get to her feelings. Figure out the WHY in things. If she says she likes the beach, ask her what she likes about it or how it makes her feel. Get it?
So here's an example:
You: That's an interesting necklace you've got there. Did you make it?
Her: Yeah! I'm really into arts and crafts. I actually made this one last year.
You: Arts and crafts huh? What other things do you make?
Her: Well I usually just make different stuff out of the same materials, but there is an arts & crafts chanel on tv that has some cool projects every once in a while.
You: Yeah, I think I've seen it, but I usually just keep flipping past [smile]
Her: [smiling] Yeah most people do. I'm guess I'm just a nerd...
You: Well, I wasn't going to say anything.... (****y/funny tone)
Her: [playfully hits you] You're such a jerk [playful tone]
etc etc. You could number close right there or make her laugh a little more THEN number close when she's laughing...keep her wanting more. But that's a whole 'nother lesson
It's seriously really easy to keep a conversation going though. Just listen to what she says and keep talking about that. Look at how many times the topic changed without her even noticing because it was done subtly. That's the key. And the whole time I'm guiding the conversation and picking what we're talking about.
But that's just an example. I suggest you search the board for nouning and maybe invite a friend you don't know too well out to coffee and see if you can keep the conversation going for 30-45 minutes using the things I talked about. It's going to take you some practice until you get it down.
Cgraz
