small tactical bartender quandry (STBQ)

[omerta1111]

Tuesday I am chatting up a stunning bartender with high IL...we're talking about her day job and she gives me her business card 'to show me how cool it looks.' I leave it on the bar and ignore it. She points it out to me again later, and I still ignore it. Later as I am leaving I say 'I'd call you if you weren't so darn busy...." to which she replies 'oh I'm not THAT busy.' so I smile, reach over and take the card, look at it and say 'this DOES look cool' and walk out (the crowd goes wild).

Issue: my friends want me to go to this same bar Thursday night with them, two days later. She gets massively hit on (complained of stalkers, and I have 15 years on her), so I don't want to be in danger of falling into the slobbering obsessive loser category.

I'm inclined to give a big friendly hello/howareya, but then hang out with my friends, not bother her at all, let her come talk to me if she wants to, and if so make no mention of calling her. What would you do?

 

[Create Reality]

Who knows what she will think if you show up and ignore her (I would bet a next), but as you said if she approaches you would say hi. This is the exact reason I don't DJ chicks I see on a regular basis. I would be interested to hear a story on what happens.

Peace.

 

[DrDope]

You could always not go.

 

[Don Juanabbe]

Originally posted by omerta1111
Tuesday I am chatting up a stunning bartender with high IL...we're talking about her day job and she gives me her business card 'to show me how cool it looks.' I leave it on the bar and ignore it. She points it out to me again later, and I still ignore it. Later as I am leaving I say 'I'd call you if you weren't so darn busy...." to which she replies 'oh I'm not THAT busy.' so I smile, reach over and take the card, look at it and say 'this DOES look cool' and walk out (the crowd goes wild).

Issue: my friends want me to go to this same bar Thursday night with them, two days later. She gets massively hit on (complained of stalkers, and I have 15 years on her), so I don't want to be in danger of falling into the slobbering obsessive loser category.

I'm inclined to give a big friendly hello/howareya, but then hang out with my friends, not bother her at all, let her come talk to me if she wants to, and if so make no mention of calling her. What would you do?

This is perfect. Don't completely disregard her - say hello, then move onto your friends and deal with her as little as possible. Remain detached and aloof, sounds like you've got the right idea.

Do not do anything remotely resembling hitting on her - talk to her like a normal human being when you speak to her. She'll notice your indifference, yet she'll also see that your an affable sort.

Show that you are different than all the other slobbering losers. You wil also be providing social proof by being there with your friends.

I like how you've handled it so far, excellent work, stay the course and you'll be in like flint. I've done it exactly in this manner with several bartenders and waitresses over the years and been pretty successful.

 

[NewMan]

Unless you've done this in the past - there's a good chance you could fvck it up.

Stay away if your uncertain.

 

[Paratrooper51]

Dont do it

Simple as that. Just dont do it. Find some other chick. You're already in the slobbering obsessive loser category. Good luck

 

[Don Juanabbe]

That was a pointless post, he's on the right track, I like how he's handled it so far.

 

[omerta1111]

Paratrooper where is the love man?! Save the venom for the terrorists and the French, big guy. Are you in school at Benning? I'm just up the road apiece from there.

Fortunately the situation was averted, my friends ended up going elsewhere and not by my suggestion. I wanted to go just for the amusement of it.... I'm totally unconcerned whether it works out with her or not (that's good, right?).

So how's this for irony...this morning I ran into a girl I had met once before, chatted her up and got her number. Great. Funny thing is that we have many mutual friends and I am certain that she will be at the same party I am going to tomorrow night. This will be a similar but not nearly as tricky a situation. I say the same course of action that would have been used with the bartender would apply. What say you?

 

[Paratrooper51]

Lol. Sorry there Omerta, I was just messin around, my bad. Stationed here at Fort Benning with the 29th, been to plenty of schools here though.

As far as the bartender, I think you'd be much better off just letting her come to you if she's interested. Sometimes it works like a charm, it did with my wife, who I ignored for 3 days straight lol. She ended up telling me later thats what she found so interesting about me, that I didn't even look like I was remotely interested in her hot bod at all.