Four months ago, I met a cute girl sitting at the bar of a really good, popular restaurant. It was only brief, she was leaving, I was arriving, but I tossed in some good game. I had a girlfriend at the time, who I dumped two weeks later.
A funny thing happened yesterday. I went back to the restaurant, for the first time in four months. An old woman in her 50’s chatted me up, after noticing my motorcycle helmet and DSLR camera. (Props are great for game.) After maybe five or ten minutes of friendly banter, guess who sits down between us, the cute girl.
Turns out they’re friends.
I listened in on their conversation for a few minutes, learned the girl is a hair stylist, but I was just about to leave, so as I grabbed my stuff, the older woman said to the cute girl, “And this guy is into photography.” Not only did I disarm a Mother Hen, by coincidence, but I turned her into an ally.
The cute girl turns around, looks at me, and says, playfully, “Oh I know you.” I really didn’t expect her to remember a stranger from a very brief encounter four months ago, but I’ll go with it. In another turn of coincidence, she told me she’s seen me “hundreds” of times and even told me of a small art gallery bar that I, in fact, love to visit on occasion. The art gallery is near a salon, and she’s a hair stylist.
She made sure to tell me her name not once but twice, and I didn’t even ask. I told her that the next time I see her, I’ll be sure to say hello. I didn’t ask for her number, but that’s for next time, since she’s a regular.
Now, how all this relates to game.
A funny thing happened yesterday. I went back to the restaurant, for the first time in four months. An old woman in her 50’s chatted me up, after noticing my motorcycle helmet and DSLR camera. (Props are great for game.) After maybe five or ten minutes of friendly banter, guess who sits down between us, the cute girl.
Turns out they’re friends.
I listened in on their conversation for a few minutes, learned the girl is a hair stylist, but I was just about to leave, so as I grabbed my stuff, the older woman said to the cute girl, “And this guy is into photography.” Not only did I disarm a Mother Hen, by coincidence, but I turned her into an ally.
The cute girl turns around, looks at me, and says, playfully, “Oh I know you.” I really didn’t expect her to remember a stranger from a very brief encounter four months ago, but I’ll go with it. In another turn of coincidence, she told me she’s seen me “hundreds” of times and even told me of a small art gallery bar that I, in fact, love to visit on occasion. The art gallery is near a salon, and she’s a hair stylist.
She made sure to tell me her name not once but twice, and I didn’t even ask. I told her that the next time I see her, I’ll be sure to say hello. I didn’t ask for her number, but that’s for next time, since she’s a regular.
Now, how all this relates to game.
The Mere Exposure Effect
In psychology there’s a phenomenon known as the Mere Exposure Effect. It basically states that the more we are exposed to something the more we come to like it. This applies equally to both objects and people. Thus, there is some benefit to simply hanging around or being near a girl that you’re attracted to.
If you two have a class together, if she sits near you at work, if you often see her at the gym, all these exposures are working to your advantage. The first time she ever saw you, she might have thought you were a 5 on a 10 point scale. But after seeing you repeatedly at the gym, she might now rate you an 8 or 9. And you haven’t really done anything.
Isn’t this a marvelous world?
http://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip29.htm
There’s also a video by AFC Adam about picking up bartenders, which explains, relatedly:In psychology there’s a phenomenon known as the Mere Exposure Effect. It basically states that the more we are exposed to something the more we come to like it. This applies equally to both objects and people. Thus, there is some benefit to simply hanging around or being near a girl that you’re attracted to.
If you two have a class together, if she sits near you at work, if you often see her at the gym, all these exposures are working to your advantage. The first time she ever saw you, she might have thought you were a 5 on a 10 point scale. But after seeing you repeatedly at the gym, she might now rate you an 8 or 9. And you haven’t really done anything.
Isn’t this a marvelous world?
http://www.sosuave.com/quick/tip29.htm
Step 1: You have to become a regular in the bar.
In 2006, Miller, the psychologist, did a massive study and they realized familiarity, or something known as the Mere Exposure Effect, had drastic consequences in terms of attraction. The more comfortable someone is around you, the more they saw you, the more attractive they became.
So if you’re just going to walk into a random bar as a random Joe, your chance of success are that much lower. So, become a regular. Go to the same bar over and over again; get on first name terms with the bartender and then at that point you’re ready to start moving things further, taking things up to the next level.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2af01A51NU
In 2006, Miller, the psychologist, did a massive study and they realized familiarity, or something known as the Mere Exposure Effect, had drastic consequences in terms of attraction. The more comfortable someone is around you, the more they saw you, the more attractive they became.
So if you’re just going to walk into a random bar as a random Joe, your chance of success are that much lower. So, become a regular. Go to the same bar over and over again; get on first name terms with the bartender and then at that point you’re ready to start moving things further, taking things up to the next level.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2af01A51NU
