Slow progress report

[twistedi]

Right not sure how to do these 'lay' reports but this is my first attempt. I'm assuming that 'lay' reports include fluffs and times we mess up (if the past is something to go by then there may be a theme and this may become a comedy piece; I keep fluffing and I need to stop wasting mine and their time!)

Had a date today from an online site, it was going ok. We went for a drink, then went for a game of bowling. I tried to escalate and initiate touching but she was pretty cold (I felt awkward) but she would give me good eye contact and it was a little bit flirty. She was 31, me 36. She laughed at most of my jokes and we seemed to get on ok. Then I invited her back to mine for food. She accepted. I cooked for her, she ate, I put my arm around her, she coolly stood up after 10 seconds, then fifteen minutes later she made her excuses and left! She was a nice girl but I guess I'd have got friended as you guys say pretty soon had I not done that, possibly it was a slow burner but if I look back to my history there has NEVER been a slow burner, they like you during the first couple of dates or they don't like you at all. I think it was a case of her just not being interested especially after I started to act all awkward after she came back to mine. At least I went for some kind of close so possibly it is progress for me in some way in that I tried something new.

I'm beginning to think either my profile is not true enough (pictures from about 3 years ago), I'm not relaxed enough or there's something else going on!

 

[CloudSurfer]

I am sure your profile is ok. Even if pictures are 3 years old. The girls pictures are mostly also a few years old. Main thing is your profile and writing
gets you a DATE. That is what counts.

Maybe as you stated be more relaxed and playful.

If she is "cold", maybe ask her with a warm smile, "why is that?"

If she comes to your place, she IS interested (in sex).
But is is not always easy to seduce a girl, even if she is at your place.
Maybe this partcular girl, was a hard one to get into bed.

Just keep trying. Sounds promising.

 

[twistedi]

Cheers CloudSurfer, yup, I think also just putting my arm round her was a little bit afc maybe, I could have just given her a back massage or gone for the kiss, but hey, as I said, I'm glad I made the move! How do you usually make your move if you're unsure whether they are interested?

Girls say 'ah, there was no chemistry', do you think they just mean they're just not interested, I feel like I'm just not really connecting on the dates.

 

[CloudSurfer]

Putting your arm around her is an excellent first move.
nothing wrong with that, I also like taking her hands
and holding it for a while to see if she is comfortable with that.

If you really want to know if it is "yes" or "no"
go for the kiss, then you know for sure.

connecting is for me "laughing a lot" being playful
and relaxed.

to be "relaxed" you must either had some success
in the past or so many fails that you do not care anymore.

so it is a numbers game. date after date you will
improve and learn form the last, you will more relaxed
and enventually have success and bed the girl

 

[twistedi]

I'll get there, watch out for my next few posts! I made a post a week ago about some girl who 'just wanted to be friends', I missed her text today inviting me out!!! lol, what kind of a girl wants to be friends on valentines day! Gonna take care checking messages from now on!

 

[BeDJ]

I'll get there, watch out for my next few posts! I made a post a week ago about some girl who 'just wanted to be friends', I missed her text today inviting me out!!! lol, what kind of a girl wants to be friends on valentines day! Gonna take care checking messages from now on!

Slow down there cowboy. I know you can't believe your luck, but be rational for a second. You are in the friend zone and she is alone on V-Day, which is the most depressing day of the year for most single people. She could be watching chick flicks and getting fat tonight. Or, she could hang out with one of her male orbiters.

 

[twistedi]

I hear ya sir, good reality check.

 

[twistedi]

Right, online lady No16...
33, prettier in life than online, hb7.5
We meet for a drink and she laughs so hard she looks like she's gonna pee herself pretty much ALL the time. Three & half hours in and she says it's about that time of evening and she had better get going. I must admit I did get a little drunk and kind of forgot protocol because it seemed to be going so well. We got to saying goodbye and she looked a little wary before I hugged her goodbye (should have gone for the kiss anyway but the wary look just said no)
Sent a message the next day, nothing for a couple of days and then she replied and said there's nothing in it but friends, AGAIN!!! Grrrrr!!!! At least she got back to me.
Where I could have been more of a Don Juan
1. I didn't make it sexual enough
2. I didn't push
3. I didn't explore her serious side enough and make it emotional
4. I didn't listen to her enough
Also where I went wrong is that I got a little optimistic about her AGAIN!!! and spent a couple of days waiting for messages and started feeling a little low. I struggle with this.
Any feedback would be much appreciated

 

[Plutoman]

ALWAYS go for a kiss on the first date. Regardless of what kind of kino you had, regardless of the way the date went.

If she denies it; it's a wrap. If she accepts it, you are doing good and she'll admire your confidence.

Be aggressive. A girl will respect that, even when she turns you down.

 

[twistedi]

Thanks Plutoman, next time I'll do so. I kind of thought she might like me a little bit and you're right, if there is hesitation she may let me in and then afterwards see me differently sexually AND as someone she gets on with.