Slipping a girl your number

[Herb]

What do you guys think about giving a girl your number? I've heard this works sometimes.

Last night I was hanging with an old friend (who I briefly dated but was never really into and we just became friends, and have been for two years), and she had her friend with her too, who I had met before on one or two occasions and was now interested in (although I never directly mentioned this to my other friend) The last time we hung out as a group we had mad fun and drank alot and just had random escapades. This time, I thought about making a move, since the signs were there: just the way she acted around me and talked to me, the fact that my other friend texted me a winky face saying that she (the one I'm interested in) just got out of the shower and wasn't ready yet, as if she knew and was almost trying to set something up, and how she encouraged the two of us to go out on the porch to have a smoke and talk amongst ourselves on several occasions. And we did, and it was a good time, just hanging out alone for almost an hour talking. She also kept hinting about how she always liked people with my astrological sign or some bs like that.

Anyway I eventually had to go and before I left I decided to do something different and wrote down my number on part of a receipt and tore it off. I went to give the girl I was interested in a good-bye hug and then slipped the number into her hand, gave her a sly grin, turned around, walked away, proceeded to hug our other friend, who didn't notice what was going on, and then walked to my car and drove off.

I do recall seeing the expression on her face when I did that though; it just seemed kind of shocked and she looked a bit to the side and forward, as if to say "what the...?" or "did that actually happen..?". So was that like a weird thing to do?

I could've easily asked for he number while we were chilling on the porch but I felt like doing something a bit different so she could remember me and I could stand out. I meant it in a slightly joking/ironic/playful way, but I'm not sure what she thought of it, since I haven't heard back yet. Not sure if she told our mutual friend about it either.

I feel like it works but I might not have used it in the right kind of situation. Feels more like something you do when you meet a girl for the first time, especially in like a bar or party setting, as opposed to with someone you've already hung out with twice and are acquaintances with. Also, I get the feeling that it conveys more of a "I just want to hookup with you" sentiment than something more serious, which I think this girl was more interested in, and maybe that turned her off.

 

[TheProspect]

Women want to be led by a strong man.

How do you lead if you put the ball in the girls court right off the bat? You can't. What do you think that conveys to her in your ability and confidence to lead? Not much.

You only get one shot at a first impression, and it's hard to change what someone thinks of you after that impression. It's called the primacy effect.

I'm not saying you can't get away with it. I'm not saying it doesn't work. I'm saying it's not as effective as the alternative, which is showing the balls to ask for her number.

 

[Billtx49]

It’s basically a role reversal that puts her in the position of being a pursuer.
She may not, and you gave that power and timing away with a display of weakness.
The only way I can see your scenario working for you in a timely manner is if her initial attraction for you is so high she can’t wait to get into your pants.

 

[That_dude]

Guess I've been doing it all wrong. When I meet a new girl on the dating site.. After 2-3 emails I leave my number.. 99% take the initiative and reach out within a day

 

[TheGambino]

You can do it but her interest level has to be aly high to reach out.. or tell her to text you directly. Its a risk if You dont though

 

[Building_and_Loan]

I did it once and the look on the girl's face was one I'll never forget. You would have thought I handed her a used Kleenex haha. And she was at least moderately interested too, would go out of her way to talk to me.

Needless to say I haven't tried it again.

 

[That_dude]

You can do it but her interest level has to be aly high to reach out.. or tell her to text you directly. Its a risk if You dont though

True. These were chicks that typically showed a high interest level at the time. If it's not handled correctly, they will be ghost real quick Speaking of dating.. It's almost time to get back out there

 

[Herb]

I did it once and the look on the girl's face was one I'll never forget. You would have thought I handed her a used Kleenex haha. And she was at least moderately interested too, would go out of her way to talk to me.

Yes! it was something a bit like that. It was a shocked look but not necessarily a good shocked look, almost one of slight disgust.

Guess I've been doing it all wrong. When I meet a new girl on the dating site.. After 2-3 emails I leave my number.. 99% take the initiative and reach out within a day

Yeah, I've tried this approach online and I can tell you it definitely works most of the time. I don't think putting the ball in their court is always that terrible, but I agree it does run some risks. It's better than some pathetic dude who meekly asks or begs for a number and keeps pursuing and doesn't give up or get the hint. Makes you look like you're sort of indifferent to what happens, like it doesn't matter to you either way, but at the same time you come across like you just kind of "know" that she's going to get back to you and look confident. At least that's how I approached this. Maybe I could've handled/executed the specifics better.

I think the best of all is to *tell* them to give you their number, instead of asking for it.

You can do it but her interest level has to be aly high to reach out.. or tell her to text you directly. Its a risk if You dont though

The thing is, I'm quite sure this girl was decently into me beforehand unless I'm completely autistic lol... But this may have actually dropped her opinion of me. Maybe because it's kind of a cheesy over the top thing to do, or made me come across as a player (or wannabe player), thinking I'm cool or something. The way she was talking earlier wasn't so much in the vein of carnally wanting to get into my pants as much as actually having flirty but meaningful interaction, and she confided a lot of pretty emotional things to me, seeming sad or disappointed when I said I had to go and saying she had a really good time hanging out with me... I think I mighta killed that vibe with this antic I did haha.

It's true that we hadn't seen each other in a few months before this happened but her vibe last night was oddly strong, coupled with what I was getting from her friend.

...Unless our friend, the one I used to briefly see, is not okay with this, since I know for a fact she harbored those kind of feelings for me long after I lost any for her.

Well I'll give it another day but if nothing happens, then whatever. I'm wondering if I should contact our mutual friend and see what's up, since they're quite close.

 

[Julian]

Give a girl your business card.

You dont have a business card? Guess you arent doing too much in life.

 

[Glassguy]

Be a man and ask for her number. "Hey let me grab your number and we can grab a quick drink sometime".

It's that easy. Wait a day or two and then tell her to meet you at x at y time. Anything but a yes or counter offer is a no. Get her out, have fun, escalate and enjoy. Be cool, laid back and fun. Be the things that attract women.

Women want a man that isn't scared to take what he wants. Slipping her your number is way too passive IMO. And you give her control when you should be the one holding the cards.

 

[Von]

My friend gave his business card at the airport to a girl he talked to while waiting the plane boarding.... now: she's almost done med school, they moved in together etc... She called him.

It can work, especially if you have a "business card" and seems to have your stuff in order.

Président Trump gave his number, she called, and now she's first lady

Overall women want à leader, it's your job to ask and get it. Giving your number away is throwing your responsibility away and giving her the power

 

[Herb]

Ugh, apparently her "rejection" of me had nothing to do with the method I used, the whole giving her my number thing... It was the very fact that I even had the gall to ask out/hit on her, one of the best friends of this so-called "ex" of mine from like three years ago. This is BS. I'm sure that if it weren't for that, this girl would have been a sure win.

Just cause my friend's not totally over me (even though she says she is), I'm basically sealed off from any of her friends or acquaintances, and she has some hot ones. I was also going to consider going for her buxom Russian roommate, but apparently that's not cool either. This is stupid... we went out for a total of like maybe four months, and not even that often, like maybe twice a month. To her it meant a lot, even though to me she was just one of a couple of girls I was seeing at the time, in reality.

I guess there's not really much I can do in this situation; gotta cut my losses and look elsewhere.... argh but one of the main points in having a friend who is a girl is the access to her friends! That defeats the purpose don't it?!

 

[Macaframalama]

Guess I've been doing it all wrong. When I meet a new girl on the dating site.. After 2-3 emails I leave my number.. 99% take the initiative and reach out within a day

Online I will do this too? But strategically smack dab in the middle of a good back and forth, right before I make an announced exit. Like... Well, it was good chatting with you, but I've got to go so and so. You can text me if you like at such and such number or you can holler back at me here later. 9 times out of 10 they will text. I never initiate contact again online first if they don't text though. I wouldn't use the same approach in real world though. Online there are so many more crazies out there, so it seems and old gets a sketchy rap to begin with, so giving them a little comfort cushion has always played in my favor.