Sleeping with lonely wife. Now what

[Desdinova]

Sarah left Italy to better her career, not the other way around.

Ah okay. That tells me something different about Miguel... He didn't put his foot down with her. Why would he allow her to move away to better her career?

This also tells me something about Sarah... She had already lost interest in him when she left. A dedicated woman wouldn't risk fvcking up her marriage to better her career.

The result is still the same... If you didn't fvck her, someone else would have.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If you didn't fvck her, someone else would have.

Yep. Everybody involved here thinks they are special. To quote Fight Club, "You are not a unique snowflake."

 

[exhausted]

Yep. Everybody involved here thinks they are special. To quote Fight Club, "You are not a unique snowflake."

Yep I agree this is a **** way to think and act.
Like that means having respect and dignity is not important.
What is next?
If you dont kick a dog someone else will?
If you dont molest a child someone else will?
IF you dont rape women someone else will?
If you arent a terrorist someone else will be?
If you dont steal from people someone else will?
That is just a cop out way for being a total scumbag

Have morals and values and never interrupt a family and home

 

[Die Hard]

Dragon, time to stop running your mind in circles. Desdinova's told you everything you need to know already in his excellent lenghty post (and subsequent comment).

You need to quit feeling bad about the whole thing, as it gets you nowhere and sure won't help Sarah or Miguel ONE BIT! Yes, you played a part in this story but you are not fully responsible for it. If you ask me, Sarah and Miguel have caused the preconditions for their own drama and you were the one who actually pressed the button. But that button would get pressed anyway!

The tragedy has already transpired, it can't be turned back and you can't do anything to change it. So stop being so emotional about it and stop feeling so guilty about it. Accept it as it is and move on! If you consider your behavior in all this as a mistake, fine. But the only contructive thing you can do with that realization is making sure you don't repeat your mistake in the future. THAT IS ALL... Feeling sorry about it, is gonna bring you, her or him NOTHING and trying to make up for it somehow is gonna bring you, him or her NOTHING.

Time to switch on azzhole mode, my friend. Their relationship is ruined, tough luck. Now either leave Sarah behind or make good use from the situation and make her your steady girl/wife/whatever or use her as a sex slave. But don't do something IN BETWEEN! You either leave her or you take advantage of her....but you don't keep feeling sorry and wallow around in feelings of guilt, dragging the drama along and along, letting it all eat you up inside and sucking all your life energy from you.

DECISION TIME, DragonBlood! You choose either direction, leave her and the whole situation behind and focus on the future and your own life, or you stay with her and feel good about being with her, fvcking her etc. You pick one of these two, NOT SOMETHING IN BETWEEN. And whatever you pick, once you made your decision you move forward with resolve, you move forward with strength, you move forward with determination!

So off with you, no more writing and thinking and reading on SoSuave. Make your decision and take action.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Dragon,

Let me translate.....Sarah values resources.

1) Miguel wasn't providing sufficient resources. So Sarah was earning. Sarah made the choice of career at the cost of the marriage long before she met you.
2) "The two had no plan as how this was going to work" means Sarah was going to earn in the new country and take Miguel's resources long distance until she found a local guy with better resources. She had a plan. You were her plan!
3) Sarah was alone, but you had resources that she could use to help her acclimate to the new country. These were the specific resources she needed and you had them when you met her. They will not be the same resources she needs in a few years though.
4) "It was when Miguels father died that he suddenly decided now was the time to move to Ireland." means Miguel totally sensed that all emotional connection between them was gone from what little communication they had because of her affair. He got worried and moved in an attempt to be with Sarah and do some damage control.
5) "she gets hit on by "creepy men" means she wants to be able to travel in the country with a man who can ward off unwanted male attention and kind of be a tour guide. This is another resource of hers that you meet. Congrats.
6) "...I feel a desire to help wake up Miguel and help him..." Hmmm.....maybe send him a nice fruit basket and on the card have the link to sosuave along with some rosetta stone language lessons maybe? ;-)

You speak of game and being a player, but it seems to me Sarah knew exactly what she was doing and she has you believing this is all your fault. You don't even seem to be translating what Sarah is telling you (i.e., see #2 and #5 above).

Big mistake not translating what your woman says.. Maybe you are the one that needs to wake up, and not Miguel. Honestly, this could have gone a lot worse. Don't beat yourself up over this.

Here I need to make an important clarification. Sarah left Italy to better her career, not the other way around. The two had no plan as how this was going to work out long term, but Miguel kept his current job in Italy and they stayed in contact over Skype everyday. This woman was still learning english and very career focused, and I have asked her repeatably about this, she spent the whole year alone in Ireland without any friends. Visiting Miguel on holidays or vise versa.

It was when Miguels father died that he suddenly decided now was the time to move to Ireland. Even though, by this point and meeting me, Sarah urged him not too. He did anyway and came over depressed and lost bereaving his father. And with no english himself was basically stuck in his wifes apartment. Understandably Sarahs resentment started to brew if it was so easy to leave Italy all along and she started treating me as a serious option instead of a friend.



You are also right Des, I am not the only person who was trying to get with this woman since she came to Ireland. As Sarah has told me there are times and places she will avoid because she gets hit on by "creepy men" aka guys whos game is not as good as mine. This makes me laugh as in her mind she cant seem to join the dots that they are not much different from me! Most woman cant see past the halo effect.

The problem I have is my knowledge of the game leads me into guilt. I know the different steps that have happened along the way and could of avoided this situation from happening. Additionally I feel a desire to help wake up Miguel and help him passively instead of seeing him spend the rest of his life unnecessarily alone and unhappy. There is no question that Miguel loves and needs Sarah more than me, that he doesnt understand whats happening and has no references to stabilize his emotions and physical health. How can I feel good about that? Even though I would agree he doesnt deserve Sarah for the mistakes he made along the way, that doesnt mean I want to see him suffer and fail to find a new partner.

@Tictac: maybe I am hard to understand, but I try my best to look at everything objectively and spread no hate for anyone. This is because I have been cheated on in the past myself and realised the only way to let go of it was to let go of the hate towards others and not to personalize everything that happens.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Here is my take on it, you should contact Miguel, tell him what you did and that you are sorry, tell him exactly where you are staying and give him a number to contact you at and your address where you sleep, allow him access to your bank accounts and any woman you choose to stay with in the future... Give Miguel the ability to take back what you have taken from him, an eye for an eye is only fair. Seeing as only scumbag cowards fvck married women, I'm guessing you'll be too chicken sh1t to do this. As a married man, if I were in the same situation I would probably stop speaking to my wife, leave her, women are replaceable...but the man who disrespected me in this way, I would hunt that fvcker down and dig his eyes from his sockets with a rusty spoon... and I'm a nice guy. Our wives and partners are really just extensions of ourselves. My wife who is reading this over my shoulder is the most down to earth person around, and very sweet but says if she found me with another woman, she'd likely chop us up into bits and slow roast them over a firepit. I can respect that, loyalty demands sacrifice. As you can see, crazy is alive and well in the minds of many.


In my mind, you have stolen his investments, caused him emotional and possibly financial turmoil, wrecked his property and spit in his face. First of all, to all the posters on this thread, if you are so low that you need to pick up OLD MARRIED BROADS, you are not an Alpha or even a BETA, you are NOT a PUA, you are a Peesuvsh1t. An omega brony that feasts on sloppy seconds, a bottom feeder and an enabler... On the totem pole you are worse off than the guy who dates that fat b1tch from my Fat life or whatever its called. Its not about Miguel seeing the 'light' or Miguel's lack of control of his woman, its the fact that this OMEGA used his power to STEAL candy from a BETA.

Miguel had it coming? Possibly. Would it have been someone else if it wasn't you? Maybe. The point is, it was YOU and you KNEW the consequences. You are not an ALPHA, you do not belong to a class of men who mostly spend their lives in jail cells or buried in coffins... you knew the fruit was forbidden and you still ate it.. and now you want forgiveness. In order for society to exist without chaos, the ALPHA/OMEGA males must be purged, all BETAs know this, those without a conscious are a danger to society.

YOU ARE ALL BETAS... don't forget that, none of us started as ALPHA MALES, we are all REFORMED betas with scientifically distilled ALPHA super powers... now you've gone and used your power to fvck over another BETA brother. You have both revealed the true nature of your character, you are a traitor and a feminist sympathizer. I hope for Miguel's sake, retribution is coming. In the days when men had balls, you would have been strung up by yours. Go lick the boots of your feminists overlords as they have permitted your despicable actions..

At least under Sharia Law, men would have respect for another's property. As a warning for the rest, never under-estimate Crazy. I'd like to know what you would be doing right now if we find out Miguel is a muslim extremist... Sarah is a middle eastern name.

You want to be forgiven under the eyes of god? Cleanse the world of scumbags like yourself. Evil begets evil and you have succeeded in turning Miguel to the dark-side, allowing him to participate in the same foul behavior you said yourself that you detest so much. The bible got it wrong, hell is a personal place on Earth and its created by human action. Your guilt and worry will continue to infest your mind until it manifests everywhere in your life. I have seen it turn men inside out, its a cross cultural law as fundamentally important to the human experience as gravity. How do I know? I live with my own demons and they wake me up everyday to remind me what I've done. I fully expect my life to end with a knife in my back, I deserve no less.

You can only spit in the devil's face so long before he starts spitting back...

 

[Albatross953]

You came for advice and got it. You should take it.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Fvck Sarah and fvck Miguel. They are the authors of their own misfortune. Sarah is a wh0re and Miguel is an idiot for letting his wife live alone in another country.

And you're not exactly a bad boy either. Just some guy who's banging a married broad because he's got no better options. Basically, all three of you are chumps.

 

[Prime_Beef]

You will understand what you have wrought after you've lived long enough to have it done to you. Right now you do not have the maturity.

 

[Tenacity]

I don't know if this thread by DragonBlood is real or not? If it's real, DragonBlood it's people like you that are the pieces of shyt in this world that turn every "good and decent man" into a damn dog. That's just the way it is.

Here's another example of Miguel, a guy who was doing what the mainstream society says that a "real man" is supposed to do, and that's work hard and provide for his family. With the structure of today's economy being so out of whack, that might mean you are going to be away from such family for a period of time while you do this. Totally NOT Miguel's fault.

But his bytch of a wife goes out and cheats on him, and picks a scumbag like you to do it with, who doesn't give a rat's a.ss about her, the marriage, Miguel, their kids, or anything.

It's exactly why the fvck I'm not getting married. I do not trust women, period. They say one thing, "be this strong man and take care of business," but then on the other hand while you are OUT taking care of business, they are screwing pieces of shyt like DragonBlood.

DragonBlood you didn't have to participate in this shyt, especially considering the fact that you know exactly how it feels to be Miguel. You could have used your "game" on another dumb a.ss chick that was single, but no, you had to screw over Miguel along with his stupid a.ss wife.

It's exactly why us "men" will never win this fight against Feminism and gynocentrism, it's because we won't stick together like WOMEN do, instead we back stab each other over pieces of mediocre fvcking pvssy.

 

[wakingup]

Tenacity and others have hit it on the head. I don't believe DragonBlood when he says he's been through this before. Maybe you got cheated on when you were fvcking some girl and may have been in a committed LTR but that's not the same as being married and having your wife cheat on you. Unless you've been in that situation, you really have no idea what it feels like. I had the joy of that experience two summers ago, when my wife and best friend of 6 years tells me shes been fvcking her boss for 15 months, is in love with him, but thought we could maybe work it out. Yeah right.

Through the entire relationship she reminded me that "I'm the man" that I had to earn, buy my wife nice things, never look at another woman, give up playing music because it makes her jealous to see other girls hit on me (even though that rarely happened and she was guarding me the whole time), don't spend time with the boys or your family because she thought the two of us should spend as much time as possible together. Being the 21st century modern chump that I let society mold me into, I caved in all these areas, with the fairytale that that would increase attraction and our bond of marriage. When the dust settled I had strained relationships with my family and friends, had gone 2 straight years without playing music (I played music constantly for about 15 years before that), and was utterly confused about how all this happened. How did I sacrifice so much only to be betrayed and ditched? It made my head spin for months and months.

You have no idea the pure rage, hatred, anger, depression, and violence that goes through a man's head after learning she's been fvcking some dude. I dreamed about hitting this other guy in the face, shytting and peeing on his face, hitting him with a 2X4, having me and my 4 biggest friends grind his face to red stump, all of that. They were extremely bizzare and uncomfortable feelings and dreams and sensations I had never experienced at 31 years of age.

It messes with your head big time to get divorced, especially when you realize the reason isn't JUST that you and the wife grew apart or that there were problems, but that SHE went and started something physical with a guy because she was too afraid to break it off, be alone, and figure life out unless there's another swinging d*ck within arm's/mouth's reach.

If the dude that fvcked my wife contacted me or tried to come to my house, I would have acted in a way that would likely have had me arrested. Even 1.5 years later sometimes I look him up on facebook and think about messing with his life somehow. Extremely unhealthy but I'm trying to explain that YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS TALKING TO THIS DUDE, EVER. In fact, like others have suggested, you may endanger your life by contacting him at all, and you may also endanger your life by continuing to see this woman. WALK/RUN AWAY, NOW.

 

[NSX-R]

Why don't you introduce him to the dj bible?

 

[Tenacity]

Everybody should read wakeup's post again and again on here, it sums up everything I have been saying since DAY ONE on this Forum in regards to the fact that the market has changed and women are never held accountable for shyt they do.

- Anytime you try to position yourself as the Traditional Man based on having "values" of taking care of family, your kid, your household, working hard, being the wage slave, etc., you stand a high risk of being screwed over by your woman. The irony is that women have spent 20 years on Oprah talking about how fvcking hard it is to find a man like this, but when they get him, they screw him over.

- It's completely and utterly illogical behavior from the women, makes no sense, but yet society will still blame the guy in this situation just like many guys in this thread are blaming Miguel.

* "Miguel should have read the DJ Bible."

* "Miguel should have manned up"

* "Miguel should have known working that much would piss his wife off"

I mean just complete and utter bullshyt, the man was doing what he was supposed to do, which was work his a.ss off to provide for his family. Maybe he didn't read the "seduction tips" because he was too busy working all the damn time?

His WOMAN was the one that was supposed to be understanding of his work schedule, be loyal to her husband (she made the vows) and sit her horny a.ss down until the man returned from work to get some dyck from her husband. But no, instead she screws another guy and not even a guy of fvcking MERIT, she fvcks a desperate, low life, scum piece of shyt like DragonBlood.

TYPICAL Feminist/Gynocentric female, and typical gynocentric society based "shaming" going on in this thread, blaming Miguel for this bytch breaking the vows that SHE made.

 

[wakingup]

Tenacity, this is exactly right.

In fact, there's a meme I saw on facebook just today that said something like "girls, if you want a man who is successful, you have to accept that he will be busy." Girls really want a guy who can give them unlimited resources AND face to face attention. It's like wanting to go swimming and not getting wet.

 

[grayclif]

Post the meme...

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DragonBlood,
All I say to your detractors is "He who is without Sin,let him cast the first Stone"

 

[Prime_Beef]

New

Dear DragonBlood,
All I say to your detractors is "He who is without Sin,let him cast the first Stone"

No one said they are without sin..some of us have sinned a lot! With that comes experience. . Experience to know better, experience that is best observed on others and not done personally..

-"a precious few learn by reading, more will learn by watching others, but the vast majority of the people just have to piss on the 'lectric fence for themselves!"
- R Rogers

 

[Tenacity]

Dear DragonBlood,
All I say to your detractors is "He who is without Sin,let him cast the first Stone"

The only issue here is that we are forgetting that we are in a massive Gender War right now. The reason that gynocentrism has taken over the media, the government, the legal system, the entertainment industry, the corporations, the dating environments, etc., is because we as MEN have allowed it.

Women (black, white, asian, latino, whatever) all stick together to fight the fight, while we as Men will backstab each other in 5 minutes over just the "opportunity" to SNIFF some mediocre pvssy.

Prime example of this is when I'm out debating women in general about the current market of women. It never fails that during these debates, the woman I'm speaking with will ALWAYS take up for all women, no matter if the women (or woman in general) just did something completely stupid, wrong, illogical, whatever, she will always take up for her because they stick together. Most of the time these women are complete strangers to each other.

Where as on the guy side, a guy will backstab his best friend in 5 minutes just for the opportunity to SNIFF a piece of mediocre pvssy.

It's why we as Men have lost the Gender War, and with that loss goes the loss of all traditional conservative values, the stability of the family, true masculinity, and a shyt load of other pillars that BUILT this country into the great country that it once was.

We as Men have allowed Feminism and Gynocentrism to destroy our fvcking country and destroy our lives, because we can't seem to work together due to always "competing" over a piece of mediocre pvssy that's been ran through, ran over, and blown out.

 

[Tictac]

The only issue here is that we are forgetting that we are in a massive Gender War right now. The reason that gynocentrism has taken over the media, the government, the legal system, the entertainment industry, the corporations, the dating environments, etc., is because we as MEN have allowed it.

Women (black, white, asian, latino, whatever) all stick together to fight the fight, while we as Men will backstab each other in 5 minutes over just the "opportunity" to SNIFF some mediocre pvssy.

Prime example of this is when I'm out debating women in general about the current market of women. It never fails that during these debates, the woman I'm speaking with will ALWAYS take up for all women, no matter if the women (or woman in general) just did something completely stupid, wrong, illogical, whatever, she will always take up for her because they stick together. Most of the time these women are complete strangers to each other.

Where as on the guy side, a guy will backstab his best friend in 5 minutes just for the opportunity to SNIFF a piece of mediocre pvssy.

It's why we as Men have lost the Gender War, and with that loss goes the loss of all traditional conservative values, the stability of the family, true masculinity, and a shyt load of other pillars that BUILT this country into the great country that it once was.

We as Men have allowed Feminism and Gynocentrism to destroy our fvcking country and destroy our lives, because we can't seem to work together due to always "competing" over a piece of mediocre pvssy that's been ran through, ran over, and blown out.

I love ya Ten. But you are way hung up on this whole feminism, gender war, gynocentrism stuff.

"We as men" haven't lost sh*t. All you are doing is making excuses for yourself.

Is the world like is was in the 1950s? Hell no and good riddance!

 

[C-quenced]

This is funny. All the morals here are beyond ridiculous. If OP wasn't around to nail this 36 year old (married or not) there eventually would've been someone else to do it. There really isn't anything to feel bad about.

Being a Miguel is entirely avoidable. The way to do that is by treating women for what they are (instead of pretending they're not *****s, sacrificing your life and overall well being for them) and by abandoning the outdated medieval institution of marriage. Marriage has no place in modern society.

It's only going to get worse. The whole LTR business and how men are given this illusory standard of being faithful to live up to is equally laughable as well. Faithful to yourself, your real friends and family is one thing. Being faithful to some slut just because you've known her for 6 months or 6 years is stupid.

Tempted?
ugh, I would stomp his ass into a vegetative state or at least ruin him physically for the rest of his life.
Of course I have boxed 2/3 of my life so it would come naturally for me.
A home wrecker should not be let off the hook;

And what's that going to solve? After you go to prison she's only going to keep doing the same thing.

There's plenty of kids here at the local boxing gym with probably 1/8 of your experience that would have you wake up with blurry vision, hospital lights shining in your face, a good part of your face completely rearranged, fractured/broken ribs and missing teeth. You don't wanna get too carried away. These are the same kind of people you would have to classify as home wreckers. The reason they're that way in the first place is because they don't give a fvck.