Skinniness and Respect

[Konada]

Anyone noticed a correlation?

I've heard stories of people bulking up and still not gaining the respect of women/men and vice versa as well.

For myself personally, I've improved a significant amount in being in my masculine but there's always this gut feeling that I'm not commanding the respect of other men and being sexually attractive to women because I'm skinny. Moreso on the first impression basis and its constantly an uphill battle for me where I had to overcompensate with checking people occasionally until they step in line (men) and probably I've missed alot of opportunities with women for being skinny.

What's your take on this?

 

[Juanto]

Interesting point. I do feel women in general prefer guys that command some sort of figure, but there is a market for everything I reckon

 

[fastlife]

It's in your head. You feel inferior, it comes out in your subcomms and people treat you that way.

Over the past 5 years I've ranged between 150-190 lbs at 6'0, but mostly in the 170 range. I played ball in high school at around 220. Can't say it's made much of a difference. I've slept with girls that have told me I was too skinny and had other girls tell me how bulky I was at that same weight. But I feel a helluva lot better when I've been working out.

 

[FinallyFree]

Do it for you not for women. If you do it for women then find out they don't care, you will lose your results.

 

[Konada]

It's in your head. You feel inferior, it comes out in your subcomms and people treat you that way.

Over the past 5 years I've ranged between 150-190 lbs at 6'0, but mostly in the 170 range. I played ball in high school at around 220. Can't say it's made much of a difference. I've slept with girls that have told me I was too skinny and had other girls tell me how bulky I was at that same weight. But I feel a helluva lot better when I've been working out.

What about 5'8 120lbs? Its definitely skinnier than what you are used to and that's the challenge I'm facing right now

 

[Julian]

your weight doesnt matter dude

what matters is your lean body mass and having muscle on your frame + body language and attitude

 

[Dingo]

I'm 6 foot and 165lbs... I'm a lean mean ****ing machine...

Sure you need to gain some weight but as said confidence and how you carry yourself are equally if not more important than your weight.

Get eating, hit the gym and live life.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm six-two and about 180. I have made weight at 155 for mma.

I know this discussion is about skinny versus bulked up, so this is somewhat irrelevant, but I have no respect for fat guys. I actually have quite a chip on my shoulder regarding fat guys who think they are tough because they are fat.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Here's an interesting, not totally unrelated study:

Weak economy is responsible for rampant swoleness: study

Skim through any fitness enthusiast’s Instagram, and you’ll find allusions to being “swole” — or in Herculean shape. Since the 2008 economic crisis, more men have taken to social media to post images of their fit bodies, according to the Journal of Gender Studies report. The trend, which experts have dubbed “spornosexuality,” reflects men attempting to seek validation through their bodies, instead of more conventional means, such as their work.

“Austerity has eroded young men’s traditional means of value-creation so they have become increasingly reliant on their bodies as a means of feeling valuable in society,” said study author Jamie Hakim, a professor at the University of East Anglia in the United Kingdom. “In theoretical terms, so-called ‘spornosexuality’ is an embodied response to material changes brought about by neoliberal austerity.”

The study found that the most significant increase for gym attendance from 2006 to 2013 was among 16- to 25-year-old men. Hakim denied the growing interest in bodybuilding simply reflects a new craze.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It has more to do with your shoulder to waist ratio. 1.6 is the adonis index. Both men and women respond favorably to men that have a defined V-taper with broad shoulders. Body shape is more important than height or mass.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

your weight doesnt matter

This is very true. Bone density has as much to do with weight as anything. This makes me naturally heavier than most; 6'2, 220. Though I still need to trim up, I'd say even when lean it would be my natural fighting weight. Guys don't really fill out properly until their thirties anyway.

Girls definitely check me out more when I'm in shape. You just look healthier, carry yourself better and look stronger.

 

[Konada]

Respectfully disagree.

If women are your sole motivation, then keep doing it, whatever "it" is--the gym, a nice car, etc.

This right here. I'm pretty happy with my health and strength levels for my size. Honestly if not for women I would be happy maintaining my current lifts.

But there's also a reality that I'm not appealing to a majority of women because I'm smaller than them and this is something within my control, better maximize my chances than 'being myself' in this case. Granted inner game is the core of every DJ, however there's no need to make it an uphill battle if it is within your control.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I thought about this and, in a non-homo way, I myself have respect for a guy when it's obvious from his physicality that he works out; you understand the sacrifices that he makes to be in shape and appreciate he's not just a complete layabout. If someone is driven to keep themselves in good physical shape, they are probably driven in other aspects of life too, and therefore worth the time of day.

Conversely, I also find I am more judgmental of people who clearly never exercise.

 

[stevo]

This is what it is:

Her: Security.
She wants to know you can protect her when the time arises.
You also don't want to look like a boy (weighing 110pounds) standing next to a woman who looks like your mom (weighing 175 pounds).

You: Self improvement.
You want to make sure you're improving yourself, always. Be it your weight, your muscle, your discipline, your finance. Improve.
You also don't want to walk into a room and realize you just don't have anything going on in your life. Life is more than getting punani. Life is more than regret.

As you see, with the overall picture, it's not if you weigh 110pounds or not, its more so your life in general and the type of women you attract. Don't necessarily change your whole life for one woman but change your life so you attract the best type of women.

Since most of them don't even know what they want, no matter what you do, you still won't get them all.

 

[logicallefty]

My doctor told me to loose 10bs but i think i need to loose 30-40. But even tho im a little overweight and have an old guy beer gut Im more confident now than ever. I would say I get some kind of nod or hello from 90% of the guys I make eye contact with and a smile or hello from 90% of the women. When i was thinner but less confident this was not the case. IMO its all in the mind. Think and you will become.

 

[Infern0]

In my experience it makes a huge difference.

I have been 220 fat, 160 skinny and I got slightly more respect when I was skinny but not much

When I lean bulked to 195 I get treated massively different, never get any trouble at the clubs, ever where I always used to get asshats trying to look tough when I was skinny.

And women treat you a lot better too.

One thing that anyone can do is lift weights and it has a real payoff.

 

[Asmodeus]

Respect comes out of two things... FEAR and LOVE...

You meet a big 6'3" intimidating muscular guy in a bar... You will not mess with him, you will respect him out of fear because you recognize he can beat your @$$. This is FEAR.

The other kind of respect is LOVE... You respect those you love, this goes without saying or else you would not love them.