sixth sense stuff...

[Socialreject]

You've all heard it, women sense stuff. They smell out a loser from 500 yards out, heck they smell them from across the globe.

In fact most of the books you can find on dating state that women have are adept at 'reading' you. They somehow feel your mood or emotions. Sixth sense stuff...

About 3 years ago i found this notion to be absolutely ridiculous. Intuition? There is no scientific proof that something like this exists or ever has. I even laughed and ridiculed a few guys who pointed this out to me when i asked them why i seemed to turn women off.

Ofcourse i had to come off my high hat and role with this notion. I had to simply accept that it was so and change my behavior accordingly.... And it had it's results because i opened my mind to new things. More specifically i had to open my mind to the fact that who i am in my everyday life does not convey to women. Why? Because i was not my regular self, i was frightened, insecure etc.

Now a couple years and a lot of self knowledge further, I'm back to my original statement. The notion that women somehow have a sixth sense is ridiculous!

The 'mystery' that is often related with this seemingly extraordinary ability to 'read' people is total mumbo jumbo.

Women do not have a special ability to sniff out your emotions. What they have is a simple basic ability to 'read' people. The same ability YOU have when you are calm, at easy and on top of the situation.

So why do so many guys get shot in the face when approaching women? How come they can somehow decipher your 'game' or 'act'? Pretty simple. THEY (the women) are on top. Remember you approached THEM, you are calling on THEM. They have nothing to worry about since they could just as easily say 'did someone yell here boy?' and have a laugh at your expense, as soon as they say 'hello' and produce a friendly smile. They are on top of things, they are in control. For that split second your goal is wide open for a penalty.

Now to a lot of guys (not to say most), having your goal open is an intimidating feeling and quite scary. They lose self control, they are doing behind the scene processing (OMFG I COULD GET SHOT POINT BLANK). Hesitation, angst... they are no longer there in the moment. they're looking at the woman in front of them and all they see is her being on top of things while they're not feeling all that comfy. She obviously is perfectly able to read THEM. Since she is relaxed and on top of the situation, she is in the moment. She sees through their act, sees they are frightened, wonders why and decides to shoot them down...ouch!

Did she somehow have an ability that they didn't have? No, not really. But they weren't paying attention. They weren't there to pick up any signals. Somehow their brains shut down and were stuck in a repeating mantra which goes something like 'don't crap out, don't crap out, don't crap out'.

This 'ability' is nothing special about women. Everyone has this ability, and everyone can nurture it and improve on it if they focus on it. The simple truth is that MEN do the initiating. MEN take the first risk every step of the way. In so doing men leave their goal open for a penalty. This is how it goes with risks. Now if a women approached a guy, she would run that same risk.

The two can barely be compared ofcourse. Since for the women that may be a rare event where she approaches a guy she is a particularly interested in. If he shoots her down there will be a hoard of ass-kissers, emotional tampons and reassurance from guys approaching her, waiting to cheer her up again. While a guy usually doesn't have these perks and has to deal with it for himself. Turning some guys into complete wussies who are utterly frightened of getting shot down again and having to cope yet again. While every time getting a little more adept at freaking out and a little less adept at staying in the moment. Men kill their own perception of subtle signals by being off in some other place when they are confronting a woman (or another guy for that matter). That is the reason why men seem to be less adept at 'reading' women than vice versa.

At my old job, i saw this ALL the time. An older colleague of mine was a real hard-ass. To testify for his behavior, he was nicknamed 'the pit bull'. He adapted a 3 strike system where strike 3 meant getting fired and strike 1 and 2 meant a private session in his office for a less than pleasant conversation. Obviously this guy was no laughing matter. He smoked cigars wherever he wanted to, farted wherever/whenever he wanted to and getting a 'good morning' out of him meant you had to be pretty high up his respect list. He didn't ask for favors, he told you to do something and you did it, end of story. Because of his pleasant personality, the company thought it was ideal to put him in a position where he would deal with slacking personnel, mainly managerial personnel (the ****y ones).

During my time there i saw dozens of ****y, confident, sturdy guys with strong leadership potential go into his office... and they all had a turd in their pants! They lived by their rules and approached the old pit bull with ****y confidence... and they all failed horribly. Because the old pit bull, if nothing else, was ALWAYS on top of the situation, on top of the conversation and all over YOU. Piecing armor was his talent, and in the years i worked there i have never seen him fail once. He had a reputation for a hard ass and going into his office usually meant bad news. Each and every guy/woman who ever went in there turned into a kid. And that is exactly how most guys are when they approach a woman. The old guy wasn't fooled by their acts of confidence and ****iness, and neither are chicks because they are on top and they can very easily sniff you out from up there.

As a side effect to his job, he also had the ability to turn any woman into a shy blushing schoolgirl!

Now was the old guy really made of solid steel? I doubt it, i doubt any human being is. He had his insecurities, his weak spots. But no one ever pierced them because he was always on top of the situation. When he approached a woman, he was so all over them they wouldn't sniff out a dent in his armor if he rubbed their noses in it...

So is it really about some kind of mystic female sixth sense? Maybe, somehow women are somewhat 'better' at it, it's possible. But to go as far as to say women are walking antennas for this kind of stuff, no way. No more then you are or could be. And all it really takes is to stay on top of things and to stay in the zone. Read your 'enemy' or they will read you!

In basics this is an explanation why 'neg hits' even work. You distract the woman from the present situation and make her focus on her insecurities, she loses the edge and makes room for you to get on top of the situation...

You are basically pointing out her dents so she will stop noticing your dents.

 

[legolas]

Nice!! I konw for once people like David DeAngelo write a lot of this kind of junk in their "books' I've read them all. And I believed it, in fact I was hypnotized to the point of believeing that I knew nothing and women knew everythig, that they could see right through me, and I acted accordingly...ouch not fun.

It took a few months before I got enough evidence to rebuke this myth for myself, and wake myself up from the trance I had gotten myself into. I believe it was Gunwitch who talks about a serial killer who seduced and killed a number of women and they were unable to "sniff out" his intentions. Women have no such thing as a sixth sense because their natural ability to "sense" your discomfort, which you point out here, is in most cases blinded by their unfulfilled needs. This happens to everyone not just women.

And if people like DeAngelo keep hypnotizing guys to be women's servants by dressing the way women like it, and acting the way women like it, and being scared ****less to talk to them because th will "sniff out" their ultimate intentions, then this is not good for us guys.

I'm going to push your argument further by saying that even though they have their innate ability to "sense" your discomfort, a lot of stuff happens automatically through conditioning. They "know" through many sources that most guys want just sex and no relationship, and they assume this is true in many cases were guys approach directly, so they have created a way to deal with it without confrontation. It's really elaborate. She'll even go as far as giving you her number, but she'll keep flaking out on you and so on. So in many cases it's not even "sniffing out" it 's a conditioned response: "You approach directly, immediately she assumes that you want sex" There is no "sniffing"

 

[Socialreject]

I agree... the notion of being x-ray-ed by a woman when you approach is certainly not a comforting one. On the other hand the real punchline here is not to be uncomfortable with your masculinity ofcourse. In which case there is nothing to worry about even IF they had this special ability.

In the end you realize you don't need a better excuse then 'you seemed intresting' to approach a woman and the fact that you have sexual desires for her is nothing to be ashamed of.

You said it. Conditioning, this is a very powerful thing and there are a lot of women who will not sleep with a guy right away simply because of conditioning.

It's good that we have this guides and self help books. The problem is they often focus on the wrong details and the lines between 'techniques' and just going with the flow become very thin.

Furthermore, i like to 'date' in my own league. This may sound arrogant but that pretty much means that women who fall for obvious PUA schemes are pretty much out of my league (and i don't mean that in the classic sense of the term). On the other hand ofcourse, sometimes a man just needs to do his business, hehe and i have no particular problem with that. After all, if you have a ONS or MNS with a woman, they get something out of it as well right? And who in their right mind sets out meeting someone with the mindset to commit immediately?!