Kailex
Master Don Juan
Well, I committed the cardinal sin. The one rule at work that I thought I'd never break. Before I go any further, trust me, I ALREADY KNOW. But this is what happens when you go to company happy hours and after 3 hours of drinking and shots, two very young and sexy women from work approach you and your buddy.
So, it all started when there was a company happy hour and my best buddy (38) from work and I (34) were sitting at the bar. Apparently, two of the ladies that work with us have had "crushes" on us for a while now. We were oblivious to it and spent the night having beers and discussing micro-brews. They decided to approach both of us together and it was on. People kept leaving until it was the four of us. One left with him, the other with me. Before we left, the other girl looked at me out of concern. Like she wasn't approving in a way. I didn't understand.
Needless to say, we decided to go out on separate dates after that night. We did, and my night went pretty well. His, not so much, but he endured and then the girls had the brilliant idea of making the next date a double date. My buddy's girl was acting a bit "weird" and I couldn't understand why. She was telling "my girl" to stop acting up so much around. To be fair, my girl was throwing kino around like there was no tomorrow. I chalked it up to high interest and thought nothing of it. As the night wore on, they had more drinks, and my bud and I were just chilling while having brews. I "bonded" a bit with the other girl because we both have some similar traits and I am Puerto Rican, she is half. Cool, right?
All of a sudden, they started getting mean to each other. I left to go to the bathroom and when I came back, they were going at it while my buddy slowly moved out of the situation. Upon coming back, I realized they hadn't noticed me in the proximity. That's when I realized that Half-Rican was yelling at her because she wasn't being truthful to me about where she was in her life. But she was drunk, so I tried my best to make out what they were talking about.
Apparently my chick is still seeing her ex and had a vacation planned out with him. But, yet she wanted to go home with me that night and have me take her out and court her. Half-Rican said that that wasn't fair to me and that I should know the truth. In all honesty, this makes more sense in hindsight than at the time. I rejoined the group and it just got worse from there. I got quiet and when we got back to her house, my chick apologized for everything and then I just banged the living crap out of her brains.
Ever since then, she got quiet, distant, and barely talked to me. This was a girl that was so high interest in me, I couldn't even handle it... and I've dealt with BPD before. This wasn't that. This was just a crush come true, for her, I guess. We had set a "date" for Friday night (tomorrow), but I had a feeling she might flake. I barely heard from her during the week, and I asked on Wednesday to confirm and she said "Yes".
Now, we work in completely different buildings at work and today I just so happened to be in her building to give a presentation to a group of people. She saw me. I just waved hello. I passed by Half-Rican's office and she seemed much more enthusiastic to see me. She apologized vaguely (for obvious reasons), and I said no problem. Now after a few hours of having seen me, my chick decides to text me: (I broke up the conversation because what I said to her really is irrelevant).
"I just want to be honest with you. My ex is still somewhat in my life and I still have feelings for him. It's a very non traditional situation between him and I right now. We're not dating and he's supposed to be moving away soon, but I'm truly not in a place right now to be getting serious with anyone. I do like you and think you're a great guy so that's why I'm being completely honest with you. And I'd still like to hang out sometimes if the opportunity arises. A part of me didn't want to tell you anything...in fear that I may ultimately mess this up forever. But, I think a lot of you, enough to be completely honest. I mean, it's not just my decision what happens now. I'd like to continue to hang out casually and continue to get to know each other and be more like friends for now? it's only fair to you. but i understand if you can't do that either."
I pretty much left it at that and haven't said much other than that I needed time to think.
I'm BS'ing. There isn't anything to think about other than how to handle this. In the DJ playbook, I'd immediately discard and throw away. The problem is that my buddy is dating her best friend, so I'll have repeat visits from her in the future whether at work or with them. My problem is HOW to handle this overall. So I'm looking to my DJ studs for help on this, because this is a situation that should have never happened and I never should have allowed to happen. How do I handle this version of the LJBF, because I clearly see through her but the situation is quite the sticky one. I'm obviously cancelling my "date" with her tomorrow night. I'm not going to pay for her drinks and foods and reward her crappy behavior. But I'm not going scorched earth nor douchebag on her because of obvious reasons.
So, it all started when there was a company happy hour and my best buddy (38) from work and I (34) were sitting at the bar. Apparently, two of the ladies that work with us have had "crushes" on us for a while now. We were oblivious to it and spent the night having beers and discussing micro-brews. They decided to approach both of us together and it was on. People kept leaving until it was the four of us. One left with him, the other with me. Before we left, the other girl looked at me out of concern. Like she wasn't approving in a way. I didn't understand.
Needless to say, we decided to go out on separate dates after that night. We did, and my night went pretty well. His, not so much, but he endured and then the girls had the brilliant idea of making the next date a double date. My buddy's girl was acting a bit "weird" and I couldn't understand why. She was telling "my girl" to stop acting up so much around. To be fair, my girl was throwing kino around like there was no tomorrow. I chalked it up to high interest and thought nothing of it. As the night wore on, they had more drinks, and my bud and I were just chilling while having brews. I "bonded" a bit with the other girl because we both have some similar traits and I am Puerto Rican, she is half. Cool, right?
All of a sudden, they started getting mean to each other. I left to go to the bathroom and when I came back, they were going at it while my buddy slowly moved out of the situation. Upon coming back, I realized they hadn't noticed me in the proximity. That's when I realized that Half-Rican was yelling at her because she wasn't being truthful to me about where she was in her life. But she was drunk, so I tried my best to make out what they were talking about.
Apparently my chick is still seeing her ex and had a vacation planned out with him. But, yet she wanted to go home with me that night and have me take her out and court her. Half-Rican said that that wasn't fair to me and that I should know the truth. In all honesty, this makes more sense in hindsight than at the time. I rejoined the group and it just got worse from there. I got quiet and when we got back to her house, my chick apologized for everything and then I just banged the living crap out of her brains.
Ever since then, she got quiet, distant, and barely talked to me. This was a girl that was so high interest in me, I couldn't even handle it... and I've dealt with BPD before. This wasn't that. This was just a crush come true, for her, I guess. We had set a "date" for Friday night (tomorrow), but I had a feeling she might flake. I barely heard from her during the week, and I asked on Wednesday to confirm and she said "Yes".
Now, we work in completely different buildings at work and today I just so happened to be in her building to give a presentation to a group of people. She saw me. I just waved hello. I passed by Half-Rican's office and she seemed much more enthusiastic to see me. She apologized vaguely (for obvious reasons), and I said no problem. Now after a few hours of having seen me, my chick decides to text me: (I broke up the conversation because what I said to her really is irrelevant).
"I just want to be honest with you. My ex is still somewhat in my life and I still have feelings for him. It's a very non traditional situation between him and I right now. We're not dating and he's supposed to be moving away soon, but I'm truly not in a place right now to be getting serious with anyone. I do like you and think you're a great guy so that's why I'm being completely honest with you. And I'd still like to hang out sometimes if the opportunity arises. A part of me didn't want to tell you anything...in fear that I may ultimately mess this up forever. But, I think a lot of you, enough to be completely honest. I mean, it's not just my decision what happens now. I'd like to continue to hang out casually and continue to get to know each other and be more like friends for now? it's only fair to you. but i understand if you can't do that either."
I pretty much left it at that and haven't said much other than that I needed time to think.
I'm BS'ing. There isn't anything to think about other than how to handle this. In the DJ playbook, I'd immediately discard and throw away. The problem is that my buddy is dating her best friend, so I'll have repeat visits from her in the future whether at work or with them. My problem is HOW to handle this overall. So I'm looking to my DJ studs for help on this, because this is a situation that should have never happened and I never should have allowed to happen. How do I handle this version of the LJBF, because I clearly see through her but the situation is quite the sticky one. I'm obviously cancelling my "date" with her tomorrow night. I'm not going to pay for her drinks and foods and reward her crappy behavior. But I'm not going scorched earth nor douchebag on her because of obvious reasons.
