Sir_Chancealot's Advanced Sexual Techniques

[Sir_Chancealot]

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Gentlemen:

Ever since the “Sir_Chancealot's Definitive Neg-Hit post” was published, the public has been clamoring for “Sir_Chancealot's Advanced Sexual Techniques”. (Well, maybe I am exaggerating a LITTLE

)

These posts will not be your usual “how to” manual. In other words, if you aren't already familiar with what goes where, this isn't going to do you any good. These posts are for those that want to take their sexual abilities to the next level. I will assume that you can CORRECTLY identify the signs of a woman's sexual arousal.

While a great many of these are taken from other sources, I have “invented” many of these myself. None of these ideas are plagiarized, per se, but many will probably have to go unattributed. This is due to the fact that I make a serious study of increasing my sexual technique. The only thing I like more than learning about sex, is actually HAVING sex.

Thus, I have read too much to remember who told me what. Anyway, sit back, keep BOTH HANDS on the keyboard/mouse

and enjoy.

Here are some important reminders when thinking about Advanced Sexual Technique.

Really good sex will connect a woman to you like nothing else can.

Women love sex, they just don't want to be viewed as sl*ts.

Sex with a wife will be better than sex in an LTR, or ONS.

“No Way!” some of you will cry. You will also happen to be wrong. First, really think about women not wanting to think of themselves as sl*ts. A wife can have all the sex she wants with her husband, and even the most religious person can't say anything bad about that. It gives her a freedom to let loose her sexual beast. Believe me, if you DO understand what I mean, you know why I call it a “beast”

(But only in the good sense!)
Deep down, women know that men don't respect sexually loose women.

“But it will get boring with one woman....”. If a sexual relationship is boring, IT IS THE MAN'S FAULT! I don't often make blanket statements regarding the man's culpability, but this one is true. Unless the man keeps it fresh, it won't stay exciting. I cover why this is true a little later. There are two exceptions to this rule. The first is if the woman is not right in the head. In this case, no matter what you do, it won't be good enough. You'll see this in other areas besides sex. The second is with older women (usually 30+). At that point in their life, they are usually comfortable with their sexual identities, and will want to experiment with variety more than younger women.

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

First, we start with variety.

Nothing bores a woman to death more than knowing exactly what you are going to do next. In other words, you are predictable in bed. BORING! Women get sexually aroused when they do not know what you are going to do next. This adds mystery, drama, suspense, intrigue, and a whole host of other things that get a woman's juices flowing. Variety includes high/low, soft/hard, wet/dry, fast/slow, rough/gentle, quick/slow, up/down/sideways, light/dark, and fun/serious/passionate/horny. Variety also includes putting all those things together in different ways. Now you see what I mean by variety?

I will not bother to repeat it, but use variety in all of the techniques below. It will not be repeated, and I CANNOT overstate how important using variety is to a woman.

Next, let's discuss Romance.

“But Sir_Chancealot, you said this would be advanced SEXUAL techniques!”. Yes, I did. Properly done, romance IS an advanced sexual technique. DJs should find themselves right at home in the arena. You must do all the things that attracted her to you in the first place. In other words, you should be mysterious, a challenge, passionate, and several other attributes that make a good DJ.

Romance should be subtle. But make no mistake about that. Romance should get her thinking about sex!

A great example of this is an idea suggested by Laura Korn in one of her books. I use a variety of it however. For example, You leave a sexually suggestive note for her in plain sight. This note says something vague, but arousing. (Maybe something like “I will pleasure you immensely, but only if you can find all these notes.) Each note contains wording that makes her think about sex. Each note also has clues about where to find the next note. In other words, a sexual scavenger hunt. You have just given her mystery, a challenge, and suspense, ALL IN A SEXUAL CONTEXT. There should be no need to discuss what this does to a woman. You have to be able to use your imagination, and above all, use VARIETY.

The next area that we will cover is foreplay.

Foreplay, as a useful TERM, is over-rated. Women do not view sex like a man. To a man, sex is all about the orgasm. To a woman, sex is about what happens before, during, and after orgasm. In other words, the entire episode is “sex” to a woman. They want the whole experience. Everything you do before you “insert” is foreplay to a woman. “But Sir_Chancealot- does that include romance, talking, etc.?” Short answer- “yep.”.

Here are some advanced sexual techniques for good foreplay.

One of my favorites is to slide my hand somewhere, and just as she thinks I am going to touch “it” I move my hand away. “It” could refer to any body part, but is most effective when directed at the breasts, butt, or genitals. Oh, the suspense. You'll know you're doing it right when, just as you move your hand to a particular body part, she gasps for air. Do it REALLY right, and she will move that body part towards your hand, mouth, etc. After you have done this a while, “accidently” touch that body part, while reaching for something else. A great example is the nipples. Given a long enough time, when you massage her breasts, her nipples will ACHE to be touched. “Accidently” brush her nipple with your forearm while reaching up to carress her neck, for example. This drives 'em nuts! You can only do it 3 or 4 times during one “bout” before it comes as contrived and not “accidental”.

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

Another favorite is to move a piece of clothing, kiss/caress whatever is underneath it, and then MOVE THE PIECE OF CLOTHING BACK! I have no idea why, but this really excites a woman. Example: while kissing the back of her neck, pull her shirt and bra strap to the side, kiss her shoulder, and then move it back.

Remember areas that other men either forget, or won't bother with. Those areas include the back of the neck, her (face) cheeks, the elbows and inside the elbows, her wrists (never had a woman yet that didn't LOVE her wrists being nibbled on), her ankles, the back of her knees, sometimes her feet and toes, her underarms (yes, you think I am crazy. Trust me. I just wouldn't lick there though, unless she is straight out of the shower without deodorant/anti-perspirant. Kisses are fine). One of the great spots is her lower back just above the butt. Speaking of butts, don't forget to LITERALLY kiss her ass.
One of the things that women love, almost without exception, is to have a man run his fingers through her hair. Don't believe me? Do it to a stripper who is giving you a lap dance, and watch for signs of sexual arousal. They can't resist it.

Here is the all around best foreplay technique you can use. Start making out, and get her hot and bothered. Let her think that you are going to end up having sex. I mean get her to the point where she is almost begging for it. Then get up and say “We have to go to the movies/dinner/party/whatever, and we can't be late. We have to get cleaned up and leave right now”. She'll be dying to get off, but you've just prolonged it. THE LONGER YOU CAN PROLONG SEXUAL EXCITEMENT BEFORE YOU GET A WOMAN OFF, THE MORE INTENSE THE ORGASM WILL BE! Continue subtle foreplay all during the “date”. (You DID remember to buy the tickets/make reservations, right?!?)

We now need to talk about PAIN .

For some reason I don't comprehend, women are turned on by a little pain in their sex lives. For example, you can bite just a little too hard once in a while. It turns them on. Thrust too hard every once in a while. Don't be afraid to get rough for a brief second. BTW, I am not talking about S&M here. I'm talking about adding some variety that very few lovers have ever given her. She will yelp a little, and may protest that you hurt her. DON'T LISTEN TO HER WORDS, PAY ATTENTION TO HER REACTION! Don't overuse this, just remember to throw it in when she is least expecting it.

There is something else that MOST women love, and that most men won't do. That is to spank their lover. I don't mean a slap or two on the butt. I mean spank her like you are beating her ass for doing something wrong. You slap her butt AS HARD AS YOU CAN 5 or 6 times. If you haven't left a huge red spot (or welt) in the shape of your hand, you didn't do it hard enough. Ok, now women may read this and respond with a post similar to “I wouldn't like that, etc., etc., etc.”. Wrong. Almost all women love to be spanked. I guarantee that if you have the balls to try this, you will be absolutely STUNNED by her reaction. Again, don't overuse this. Variety. Let her guess when you will do it.

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

Ok, now we have to discuss DOMINANCE .

Women love to be dominated by a man. It turns them on. Every once in a while, they also like to dominate a man. This is natural. Used properly, you are going to give her something that no man has ever given her. If you cannot dominate a woman in the bed room, then you cannot truly fulfill a woman sexually. This has nothing to do ignoring her needs, or being selfish, but has EVERYTHING to do with expressing your sexual desire in a manly way. A real man doesn't apologize for his sexual wants and needs. It is part of who he is. If a woman doesn't recognize this, then she is a woman in name only. Real women are excited by dominant men in the bedroom.

Dominance is a lot of things. In it's most subtle form, dominance exists as not “asking” her if she likes something, but KNOWING she does through her reactions. This one takes experience before you get good at it. Dominance can also be very bold. Don't “ask” her to give you a bj, DEMAND “On your knees b*tch, and suck my c*ck!”. (BTW, you would be WELL advised to only say this after you have really turned her on). Don't let that AFC in you say “my woman would NEVER want me to say something like that.”, because your AFC would be wrong. Again, don't be predictable, but use variety.

Women love (every once in a while) to be treated like a sl*t or like property in the bedroom. Not many men have the balls to dominate a woman like that. You WILL give her something that most men are too afraid to give her.

Offer to “pay” her for a specific sex act. (WARNING: This is technically prostitution, so I would only use this with a wife, or in a very long LTR). Call her up when you are at work, and say “I'll give you $50 for one of your fantastic (whatever she does really well) tonight.” For this to be effective, she has to think that she does XYZ so well, that you are willing to pay her for it. Trust me, if you have a good relationship, she'll get a kick out of it.

Use sexual positions that make a woman feel vulnerable. This gets women really hot. One great position is sort of like missionary position, but with a little twist. She has to hold her legs in the air, and instead of leaning on your elbows, have her put her arms straight out and bend her elbows, and you will lock hands with her. She's totally exposed with arms and legs extended. She'll love it.

The converse side of this is allowing yourself to be dominated by a woman. Again, I am not speaking S&M here, merely the PSYCHOLOGICAL portion. Sometime when you are making out, say to her “I don't know if I want to go any farther with you. You'll just have to seduce me if you want me to have sex with you”. You have just subtlety reversed roles, but in a DOMINANT way.

One of the easiest ways to dominate a woman is to tie her up. This goes towards making her feel vulnerable. She'll like it. Don't ask, just assume. It is ultra-sexy if you use one of your OWN pieces of clothing that you are wearing to tie her up. For example, use your Tie to tie her hands behind her back. Maybe tie her legs (spread eagle) to the legs of the kitchen table. Again, variety.

Another way that you can dominate her is to “rape” her. Don't be an idiot and think that I mean real rape here. (My personal feeling is that rapists should be executed, but that's a topic for another post). What you are doing is giving her the FANTASY that she “must” submit to your sexual advances. Very exciting for most women. It's doubly exciting if she can't see you, but you talk to her. A workable scenario is something like this: You come home a little early and sneak into the house. Don't let her see you. Sneak up behind her and grab her mouth (so she can't scream, remember, at this point, she doesn't know it is you!

) and around her wait. Then you begin talking to her in a menacing way. You might say something like “I've seen you walking around teasing me with those nice t*ts/ass/legs/etc. You think you could turn me on so much, and not do anything about it. Treat her roughly (don't injure her), and “man-handle” her goodies. Now is NOT the time for foreplay. If she's like “Will you knock that crap off”, then she doesn't like it too well!

She may fight back and protest as part of the fantasy. If you have even the SLIGHTEST THOUGHT that she ISN'T faking her protests, say “Do you want me to stop?” If she says “yes”, and you DON'T, then it moves from fantasy “rape” to REAL rape, with the associated consequences (which is usually the rapist finding out what rape is like first hand, from his cell-mate “Bubba”). Anyway, don't let her see you. Have her drop her pants/skirt/panties/shorts/whatever, bend her over and do her, THEN LEAVE for a while. (Let her finish on her own). VERY different, and VERY exciting for some women.

Here's one that not many men have the balls to pull off. Tell her (don't ask) to tie you up. Women generally get REALLY excited when a man is tied up “helpless”. You have to have a lot of trust in the woman to pull this off. I'm talking “here's my bank card and the PIN” kind of trust. A variation of this is to call her up when she is out, and tell her that you are going to be tied up naked on the bed when she gets home. Shortly before she is due home, tie yourself up (yes, it can be done); however, make sure that at least one hand can get out. (Can you imagine her being detained, and you CAN'T get unstuck!

) Trey exciting for most women!

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

We now come to the subject of DIRTY TALK

Here, women differentiate themselves into two categories. I have deemed them “romantic” and “sl*tty”. Romantic dirty talk sounds like a romance novel. Sl*tty dirty talk sounds like a porno. Find out what your woman likes, and talk to her.

A man “talking dirty” to his woman is the equivalent of the woman wearing lingerie for him . A DJ would do well to keep this in mind.

If you feel weird or strange about this, just keep this in mind. When you get good enough at talking dirty to your woman, you can actually give her an orgasm by simply talking to her.

That is VERY cool. Not many men can do it.

Here are some Advanced Sexual Techniques for Sex Acts

Vary where you have sex. Good places include on the couch, on the kitchen table (ever popular), on the stairs, in the garage, bent over a desk, in a closet, or even outside. The key is let her wonder if, when you start in the bedroom, you will wind up someplace else. You will have a position that you both prefer, but don't forget to vary it. Legs up/down/apart/together, etc. Vary the position, and the position of the limbs.

A good example is missionary style, WITH HER LEGS PRESSED TIGHTLY TOGETHER. (I like missionary, hence, I have LOTS of variations of it! There's nothing like looking a woman in the face when you are doing her!

) Your legs go OUTSIDE hers. If you slide your body towards her head further than you would ordinarily be, you will contact her cl*t WITH YOUR PENIS. This position is called “skinning the cat”. It's very hard to maintain, as your penis will have a tendency to slip out. If you do this right, she will have a very amazing orgasm, quite unlike anything she has ever had before.

One unique thing you can do regarding her orgasm is this: make her look you right in the eye when you are giving her an orgasm. This works well if you are using your fingers. Make her look you right in the eye from start to finish. If she ever closes her eyes, IMMEDIATELY stop and tell her to “Look me in the eye. I want to see your eyes when you come”. This varies the orgasms for her. Somehow, it makes it more intense.

Here is a way you can give a woman an orgasm so intense, she will be amazed. Women always have a little bit of an exhibitionist side to them. You are going to play to that very subtlety. Have her wear a dress when you go out to eat. You will get reservations for a corner BOOTH. Make sure the restaurant has long tableclothes. Begin talking dirty to her, and reach under the table, under her dress, and begin to finger her. You are going to bring her to orgasm in a public place. She will want to try and control her response, and the mere fact that she is trying to HIDE the orgasm, will make it much more intense, and harder for her to control. You will have done something that most other men have never even DREAMED of, let alone actually had the cajones to do. My second best effort was during a classical music performance. It was very dark, and there wasn't anyone to the left or right for about 6 seats. (What's my best effort? Come on, you don't think I am going to give away ALL my secrets, do you?

)

Conversely, attend a movie during an afternoon weekday. You know, the ones where there is only 1 or two people in attendance. Sit way in the back, and have her give you a BJ.

When eating her out, get your index finger wet. While licking her cl*t with your tongue, go right above your tongue with your index finger and gently rub. It will feel like TWO tongues on her cl*t. Very explosive orgasm.

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

Another technique is to get her really hot and bothered, then go oral on her, BUT SO GENTLY SHE CAN BARELY FEEL IT. In other words, you are just going to BARELY touch the cl*t. It takes a LONG TIME to bring her to orgasm, but I guarantee that she will say it was “different”. And different is good.

Give her an orgasm while she is upside down. Give her an orgasm while riding in the back seat during a “double date” with someone. Bring her to the point of orgasm 4 or 5 times, then back off and do something else to let her cool off. We're back to variety!

When you have a woman VERY hot and horny, you can often hit her “G” spot. Without going into a big long explanation of what that is, or why you would want to find it, I'm going to get to the heart of the matter. If you don't know what the “G” spot is, do a search using www.google.com . If you are a guy with just an average size penis, this is where you get to shine! It is MUCH harder to do with a bigger penis. You are going to enter her in the missionary position. (If you don't know what that is, you should be reading “Sir_Chancealot's Definitive Post on Beginning Sexual Techniques!

Coming soon. Or should I say “Coming too soon”? AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA

)
Normally, in the missionary position, you are thrusting DOWN into her. In the missionary position, you must LIFT HER BUTT UP OFF THE BED. You are going to thrust into her in an UPWARD direction. Unless you are a contortionist, this will probably require you to be in a kneeling position, holding the her upper thighs. In essence, the head of your penis is going to hit the front of her vagina, instead of going straight in. You'll know when you have it right, because she will start mewling like a kitten. This is WAY different from the “When Harry Met Sally” type of orgams (which, if they are like that, are fake anyway). Suffice it to say that you WILL know this sound when you hear it. You may even mistake it for pain. When she starts making that sound, she is VERY close to having an orgasm, WITHOUT you touching her cl*toris. I guarantee you few men have ever given her this type of pleasure. If it is painful or uncomfortable for her, you don't have her hot enough yet.

Another word on a woman's orgasm. If you get their legs quivering, that's GOOD!

Speaking of NOT touching her cl*toris:

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN ORGASM WITHOUT TOUCHING BELOW HER WAIST

This one is great guys. It takes effort, but is well worth it. You are going to start with her nipples, but later, you can migrate this technique to ANY body part. You start with the nipples, because it is easier to associate an orgasm with them, over any other body part except the cl*t. Here's how the technique works.

First, you have to have lube. Astro-glide works well. You have to bring her close to orgasm 2 or 3 times. It is easiest to use one hand for her cl*t, and one for her nipple. When you have done this, you are going to lube up the fingers on one hand. Use a lot, too little and it will end up being irritating, instead of feeling good. Here is what you do. You are going to rub her nipple EXACTLY THE SAME as you rub her cl*t. Usually, a clockwise (or counter-clockwise) motion is easiest to start off with. You must use the SAME PRESSURE, DIRECTION, AND SPEED IN BOTH PLACES. When she gets very close to orgasm, back off of her cl*t, but keep up the pace on her nipple. She will start to come down. When she has settled down for about 5 seconds, start up with her cl*t again. REMEMBER: SAME PRESSURE, SPEED, DIRECTION. Get her close to orgasm again. Let off her cl*t, but continue with the nipple. Eventually, you will back off the cl*t, but she will continue on to orgasm. You must do it exactly like this 3 or 4 times. (Don't do it 3 or 4 times right in a row. Variety, remember?). After you have done it like that 3 or 4 times in a row, now you are going to play with her nipples without touching her cl*t. She will get off WITHOUT you touching anywhere near her genitals. I guarantee her response will be “Wow! That sure was different!. Make sure you get to the point where both nipples are involved.

After this is achieved, you need to do the same thing, but on a different body part. Her earlobes are easy to do. Instead of using your fingers, you'll use your tongue. Do it the same way that you first “trained” her to get off with you touching her nipples. You are going to massage her cl*t with your finger, and her earlobe with your tongue. Eventually, you will be able to get her off by just licking her earlobe.

BTW, this is MUCH easier if you talk to her while you are doing this. Say things like “Imagine that, while I am rubbing your nipple/earlobe, it is really your cl*t. Imagine that the two are connected, and what you feel in your cl*t, you feel in your nipples/earlobes”. She WILL feel the two are connected, because you are doing the same thing to both body parts. Get good enough, and she will associate the sound of your voice talking to her like that with her orgasm. Then, you will be able to give her one with your voice alone. You will TRULY be a Master DJ then!

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

Some additional thoughts on the sex act.

As I have repeatedly stated, women want variety. In addition to variety of position, frequency, etc., they want variety in how you treat them.

Here is a secret that not many men know. SOMETIMES, A WOMAN DOESN'T WANT AN ORGASM. Yes, I know. You're thinking “Sir_Chancealot, you are off your f*cking rocker.” Well, you'd be wrong. Sometimes women DON'T want an orgasm. If you do not believe me, ask your woman. Don't always give her one. Let her wonder if you are going to give her one. I will cover some scenarios in which you AREN'T going to give her an orgasm, and it will drive her wild.

This is something that will drive a woman nuts. When you have sex with her, make sure she has an orgasm. However, you are going to stop short of orgasm during sex. She will ask you why you are stopping. Just tell her that you don't feel like having an orgasm tonight. The first time, she won't think anything about it. Do it 3 or 4 times in a row, and she will go nuts figuring out why you don't want to get off. She will become an absolute sex fiend for you, until she gets you to come. (Yes, I know how difficult this will be for you. I AM a man, afterall!

)

Ok, here's another one that not many men have the courage to do. Masturbate for her. That's right, you are going to whip the weasel while she watches. If she tries to “help” you, do not let her. Make her watch. Not many women have had the opportunity for this, and it will turn her on immensely. Continue to completion. There's about a 75% probability that she will start doing the same on herself before you are finished.

Here's a cool one that requires a lot of self control. You are not going to have “sex” for a week. Everything that applies to you also applies to her. The first night, all you are going to do is kiss. The second night, you can kiss and caress anywhere above the waist, EXCEPT the breasts (over her shirt). The third night, you can remove the shirt, and kiss and caress everywhere above the waist, but OVER her bra. The fourth night, you are going to remove the bra, and can kiss and caress everywhere, even below the waist. You cannot touch her genitals, and no orgasms for either party. The fifth night, you are going to remove her pants, and you can kiss and caress everywhere, but OVER HER PANTIES. No orgasm for either party. The sixth night, you are going to be completely naked. You can do ANYTHING you want (including any type of sexual act) but NO orgasm for either party. The seventh night, you can do anything you want! (Careful you don't blow her head off when you do finally let loose!

)

Here's a fun one. Have a race to orgasm. Each party must make the other one get off as quickly as possible. Whoever gets their partner off quicker wins a prize of some sort.
My quickest time from no touching my partner until her orgasm? Three minutes. See if you can improve on my record!

Try to time your orgasm so you two get off at the same time. This is called simultaneous orgasm. Don't tell her you are doing this. It won't happen very often, but when it does...... WOW!!!!!!

Rub your hard penis all over her body. And by ALL OVER that's EXACTLY what I mean. Even rub it all over her face. Chances are, she's never had that done before.

When she goes down on you, tell her how good she's making you feel. Give her directions (harder/softer/faster/slower/etc.). Some women like you to grab their head and guide it up and down. Some don't. You'll find out quick enough.

Here's one that may be a little difficult for you if you don't already do it. Moan during sex. Most women get turned on. I don't mean make a big production about it, but DON'T BE SILENT. Would you want HER to be absolutely quiet? I didn't think so. During orgasm, let out with a roar now and then. This will drive her wild also.

Once in a blue moon, when you walk through the door, don't say anything. Grab her and throw her across your shoulders. Carry her to the bedroom, and take her clothes off. Bang the h*ll out of her without saying a word. After you get off, say “I've been wanting to do that all day” and then go to the kitchen and grab a beer, a coke, or something to eat. Sometimes, women love when a man just screws their legs off JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS THAT P*SSY! This can make a woman feel ULTRA feminine. Women love romance, foreplay, tenderness, and caressing. But sometimes they just want a good hard f*ck too.

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

When you catch her wearing old clothes, LITERALLY rip them off her body, and do her. Make sure you rip her panties off too.

Never let a woman know how long you are going to have sex. Make it an hours long marathon one time, and a quickie the next. Make it a quick quickie, and then a long quickie. Make it a short marathon, then a long one. The key is variety. They should never know how long it is going to last.

Wake her up with oral. There's a good chance she'll return the favor sometime. Get hard before she wakes up, lube it up, and (as Whitesnake sings) “Slide it in, right to the top”. She will most likely love when you do that, but ONLY if the relationship is going good.

If you are bold enough...... sometime when you are having a real heated argument, and she is WRONG (I mean blatantly wrong, but too pig-headed to admit it) tell her that if she doesn't appologize, you are going to spank her ass. She'll make some smart-aleck comment. Follow through on your threat. Wrestle her to the ground, and spank her like a newborn. There's a 50-50 chance it will lead to some REALLY wild sex. The 50-50 chance is why I said “IF” you are bold enough.

Ask her what one of her fantasies is. Try to fulfill it. (WARNING: It is REALLY DEVESTATING to bring another person in for a threesome, etc. Do not do this unless you have absolutely no doubt that this LTR isn't going anywhere. Even then, I don't recommend it.) If she wants you to dress in a clown outfit, wear big shoes, a red nose, and constantly say “You like THIS Big-Mac don't you baby!” DO IT! H*ll, you might have a laugh and have some fun with it. If she describes a fantasy where she is stripping for a bunch of whistling sailors, get a sailor suit, and make her strip for you. Go wild and tuck that buck!

The thing is, while you may not make her EXACT fantasy come true (and many women want their fantasies to remain just that- fantasies.), you can give her a close approximation. Not many men are confident enough in themselves to do this. But she'll love you for it!

Don't always be serious in bed. Learn to laugh, have fun, and play during sex. Learn to be passionate, sometimes kinky, sometimes noisy, sometimes quiet. The key is not to take it so seriously.

Here is one that is fun. Have the woman ride you, and try to guess when you orgasm. You try to hold perfectly still and not let her know. If she knows, she wins something. If she doesn't know, you do. You can reverse this also. You try to get HER to orgasm, and she tries to NOT let you know. It's more difficult for the woman that you think.

Tell her that you have always wanted to have an affair with a blonde/brunette/redhead. Give her the money to go out and get a wig, and tell her to surprise you with it one night. While wearing the wig, she must act TOTALLY different than her real personality, and she must greet you “in character” when you come home. Most women find this a pretty fun thing to do.

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

What to do AFTER the sex is over.

Ok men, it takes a woman MUCH longer to come down from an orgasm than a man. MUCH LONGER. What you do during this time can elevate you from being a good lover into being a GREAT lover. Talk to her and caress her for a while. Tell her how sexy she was during sex. Tell her how much she turned you on, etc. Believe me, not many guys take the time to do this properly. You do this right, and it will make up for a lot of mistakes. One of the coolest things you can do is to hide a single rose under the bed/pillow. A little while after her orgasm, give it to her. Yes, “No flowers” claim the DJs. Sir_Chancealot gives you permission to break that rule with this technique.

Ok men. I hope you have found this article refreshing, enlightening, entertaining, and most of all, informative. I still have some other secrets that I haven't expounded upon, so don't think this old dog has told you all his tricks. Not by a long shot.

I hope that you see how variety is what women want in their sex life. It really is key. One word of warning, however. Once in a while, do the same thing 2 or 3 times in a row. “D*mn it Sir_Chancealot! You just spent all these posts telling me to have variety! Now you are telling me to be predictable?” In a word- Yes. If you NEVER do the same thing twice in a row in the bedroom, you have just become predictable, because whatever you are going to do today will be different than yesterday . You just became predictable in your unpredictability. Weird, yeah; but true.

Remember to NEVER apologize for your sexual desire. If she complains that “all you want is sex”, come back with “I can't help it you turn me on so much”. When she says “all you want is sex”, that's ******** for “You aren't paying me enough attention OUTSIDE the bedroom”. Pay her that attention, and that complaint will disappear.

THE MORE (GOOD) SEX A WOMAN HAS, THE MORE SEX SHE WANTS!

END OF POST.

 

[tweeder]

Sir-Chancealot: Let me be the first to say that was freaking awesome!!!!! I know I speak for a lot of people when I say you've helped me out tremendously. I've always tried to use a little variety, but I just now realized how much better I can be. This post was informative as well as humorous. Made for an easy read for such a long post.

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

LOL, I really like it when you say slap their @ss, SirChanceaLot.

 

[DJ de Florida]

Originally posted by Sir_Chancealot:
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN ORGASM WITHOUT TOUCHING BELOW HER WAIST
BTW, this is MUCH easier if you talk to her while you are doing this. Say things like “Imagine that, while I am rubbing your nipple/earlobe, it is really your cl*t. Imagine that the two are connected, and what you feel in your cl*t, you feel in your nipples/earlobes”. She WILL feel the two are connected, because you are doing the same thing to both body parts. Get good enough, and she will associate the sound of your voice talking to her like that with her orgasm. Then, you will be able to give her one with your voice alone. You will TRULY be a Master DJ then!

Try this when sucking a one of her fingers. Deep down women fantasize about having a cok sucked. If you use enough intense eye contact, you don't even have to use words

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****
Don Juan de Florida

 

[A. I. Kuprin]

Sir_Chancealot - grrrrreat stuff!! Absolutely awesome!!
One thing I found that s beein intrigueing me:
"There is something else that MOST women love, and that most men won't do. That is to spank their lover. I don't mean a slap or two on the butt. I mean spank her like you are beating her ass for doing something wrong. You slap her butt AS HARD AS YOU CAN 5 or 6 times."
Been exactly there with my last girl. She, after our breaking up, actually told me the best sex she ever had was with a guy who spanked her ass until she wasnt able to sit anymore the next day. And I thought - jeez,
good that I got away from that one fast enough..... Would like to hear comments on this point by women.

 

[De La Soul]

Sir_Chancelealot this is definite bible material. Great stuff.

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Success = Confidence + Charisma + Kino + a Smile

http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/014672.html

 

[Jester]

damn dude...damn

if this was just the icing on the cake of your sex knowledge, you gotta post the rest lol.

 

[~The_Chosen~]

LoL, that's some good sh!t man.

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~The_Chosen~ has spoken...

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is just not an act but a habit." - Aristotle

Judge a man by his questions and not his answers.

 

[ESPN]

Nice Stuff

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No pain, No gain
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[Retro]

Sir_Chancealot I must say that was truly a great post. I especialy like the spanking part. *slap*

 

[Wyldfire]

Ok men. I hope you have found this article refreshing, enlightening, entertaining, and most of all, informative. I still have some other secrets that I haven't expounded upon, so don't think this old dog has told you all his tricks. Not by a long shot.

OOPS! I already let out one of those other secrets to Centaur on that AFC thread on the Main forum. But you look smashing in spandex and stilettos, so it's all good.

The "rape" role play thing and tying up will ONLY work with a woman who REALLY trusts you. Not wise to try that kind of stuff with someone you've only been out with half a dozen times.

For guys who don't realize it...a lot of women tend to be more aroused during their period. Yeah, it's messy, but with towels or just hitting the shower it's not that bad. I would have to say the time I have been turned on more than ever before was after abstaining from sex for 4 and a half years (that wasn't a typo, guys!), 6 months before leaving the ex I didin't do anything with him and then my fiance was in prison (where I met him) for 4 of the 5 years we were together. We did get to fool around a bit here and there on the sly, but not real "let loose" sex. So, he gets out and shows up at home, a horny beast after being locked up for 7 years. I happened to have a tampon in at the time. I told him before hand. So he grabs me, carries me to the bed, tosses me down, practically rips my clothes off and grabbed ahold of that tampon string and gave it a tug and flung it across the room, hitting the white wallpaper. Not only was it incredibly exciting, but pretty damn funny too.