SIngle Sex vs. Married Sex

[Rollo Tomassi]

I had an intersting convresation with a married friend/counsel of mine last night a he sort of opened my eyes to something that's becoming an intersting trend that kind of prompted me to come up with an interesting experiment for the married and formerly married men on this forum. It should also be interesting to see how single guys (or those in LTRs veiw this too. So rather than go into complete detail right now about the subject of our conversation let me present 2 scenarios for you. Bear in mind these are sexual fantasies and you could easily add details to them that might invalidate them, but the illustrations and guy's (as well as women's I suppose) perceptions are what I'm curious about:

Scenario #1
Suppose for the moment you are single if you're married now with no attachments. You and a wing go off to a party to do a little cooperative sarging where you know a good number of HBs will be present. After an hour and a half you successfully kiss close an HB9 and she's definitely given you enough IOI and AIs to know she'd F-Close you that very night. Picking up on this, you propose heading back to your place for whatever made up reason you can think of on the spot. On the drive to your place she is feeling you up and all but fvcking you righ in the car, maybe even giving you head a bit before you arrive. Once there, she strips down to a small bit of lingerie and proceeds to grind and tease you. She then removes everything but her stockings climbs on top of you and has her way with you, finishing you off with a mind blowing BJ.


Scenario #2
You've been married to your wife for 5 years (or longer). While at work she calls you one afternoon and tells you that if you'll come home early she'll "make it worth your while." You happen to be freed up enough at work to take off early and head home. When you arrive, your wife is standing in the kitchen making spaghetti in a g-string and sexy bra. She has a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses set to one side and informs you that the children are at her mother's for the evening. She's still easily an HB 7.5-8 inspite of having kids and her ass looks fantastic in the g-string. After a glass of wine she tells you how hard you've been working and it's time she shows you some 'appreciation'. She begins to give you head in the kitchen, after which you go down on her on the counter top. You take her standing up and she frantically claws your back before she drags you to the livingroom where she rides you in a frenzy.


I appologize for the graphics, but it's necessary. If you're a married or divorced guy reply back to these questions:

1.) Which scenario do you think is more likely to be actualized and why? In otherword's which is the more likely scenario to come true in reality?

2.) Which scenario would you rather participate in in reality? Why?

3.) Which scenario do you think would make for the best sexual experience?

4.) Has a woman ever seduced you whether single or by your wife?


Single guys can respond to this too since it'll show a depth of experience, but married/divorced guys, think hard about this. You're realtively anonymous here so be honest.

I'll reveal the source of this experiment after I think there's enough responses.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

First scenario seems most likely true than second scenario. But the second scenario is probably ideal than the first scenario

 

[MacAvoy]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi

1.) Which scenario do you think is more likely to be actualized and why? In otherword's which is the more likely scenario to come true in reality?

2.) Which scenario would you rather participate in in reality? Why?

3.) Which scenario do you think would make for the best sexual experience?

4.) Has a woman ever seduced you whether single or by your wife?

1. Scenario 1 is more likely to be actualized because how many fellow married men ever tell you about such a thing happening, not realistic. Although scenario 1 is a little overdone that most ONS's, it goes to that extreme every once in a while.

2. I would rather participate in scenario 2 for many reasons. First and foremost being, it rarely if ever happens and especially after being committed for so long it is good to have that spice / unexpectedness. Secondly, there are the (AFC) emotional benefits included w/ scenario 2 but w/ a little bit of the zest DJ of scenario 1 built in.

3. As long as you had a high quality and high quantity of sexual experiences before your marriage, I would think scenario 2 would make for the better sexual experience w/ all other factors being equal. There will always be that one girl that was dynamite in bed for some reason, but all else the same, scenario 2.

4. I don't know if I would say seduce, but one time this stripper told my buddy when I was gone to the washroom, that she can never get Macavoy to touch her when she dances for me. Well I obviously took her home that night and had my way w/ her.


_________________________________________________
ps. if people don't have anything to add to a post, why do they feel the need to question why the person is asking. I thought he explained the point of the thread in his FIRST paragraph. Sorry for the rant, but tired of flames questioning a thread in main forum instead of receiving input.

 

[stevera004]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi


1.) Which scenario do you think is more likely to be actualized and why? In otherword's which is the more likely scenario to come true in reality?

2.) Which scenario would you rather participate in in reality? Why?

3.) Which scenario do you think would make for the best sexual experience?

4.) Has a woman ever seduced you whether single or by your wife?

1) First scenario way more likely (tight game is required).

2) First scenario is more appealing as well.

3) First one.

4) Nope, I do the seducing.

Interested in where this leads...

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

ONE ARM DJ: I'm ignoring your post. Go and search my name in the search engine on this forum and read my posts and you'll know why.

 

[penkitten]

i think alot of it has to do with both partners and their situations.
if their stresses and financial obligations and job stresses and children issues are constantly dragging them down, they start growing apart rather than together.

at the first sign of any problems, usually its the woman who starts holding out when she really should be finding a way to spice it up and get the romantic grove back on with her husband. this will bring the romance home, and allow them to grow closer together.

now a days, most wives could give a crap less if they grow closer , until its to the really bad point and then they bite the hand that feeds them and complain about indigestion.this gives us a bad rap, and its really unfair to those of us who arent utterly stupid or selfish.

husbands also often feel it is not up to them to spice up the love life. they should try it sometime, its fun.

there are thousands of ways to spice things up and there are still lots of couples who are not open about it.
who really wants to make nookie with a log? no one.

thats why married couples need to grow up and mature up or they will have to experience all this the hard way, and few will even learn their lessons until its so late they are bitter lonely souls .

 

[Alicorn]

There are some married women out there who will blow their husbands while doing 110mph in their classic sports car.

But I've only ever met a handful of women like that.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Alright, now the reason I started this experiment is because the friend I had prompt me to this gave me a link to one of the fasest growing sexual fetish (if that's the proper term) porn sites and this is married sex. No, I don't mean cheating housewives (that's been done to death), but actual married sex between couples that is in fact pretty hot. I wont post the link, but you can Google Housewives 1 on 1 or the like and see what I mean. In each fantasy scenario the husband's wife (all porn star hot BTW) seduces him with a combination of lingerie, dirty talking, and at least a pretty convincing display of actual desire/lust/passion for having sex with him. After watching a few of the trailer videos I couldn't help but think that the reason for this becoming such a popular genre of porn is due to an unbelievability that in all rights should be believable, if not desireable. How pathetic a statement is it to think that within all of our over eroticizing society that we should come full circle and have made hot, married sex into sexual specialty?

The reason I proposed the two scenarios in my first post was to llustrate just the unbelievabilty of the 2nd one in comparisson to the first. The 2nd one being a rough description of one of the vignettes from a particular 'married fantasy sex' site. As a married man of 9 years, I have a pretty good sex life with my wife, who still looks like a fitness model even after our daughter's birth. That said I can tell you that nothing would shock me more than to have my wife even remotely concoct a sexual tryst with me like these. It's not that I have a problem with our sex life, far from it, but it's that it would rarely cross a married woman's mind that she would want to seduce her husband.

PENKITTEN unkowingly (sorry) gives us the default female reponse to this when she suggests that it's the burdens of married/family life that interfere with acting something like this out, or that the man should shoulder his proper portion of responsibility for keeping married sex passionate. I have to then go back to my conversations with virtually every married man I've ever counseled telling me that they are almost universally the initiators of sex with their spouses and this is a point of contention between them. Their initiating - by way of doing all of the romantic preparations their wives tell them is necessary for them to "get in the mood" - then end up becoming one more form of stress, since it then conditions her to think that the very behaviors she described as being conducive to her becoming aroused are now associated with expectation of sex. We have to remember that women communicate covertly and when she feels the need to overtly tell a man (what she thinks he ought to know anyway) how to turn her on, sex becomes predictable and routine; the opposite of spontaneous and exciting.

That as an aside, the intent of my post was to illustrate that the reason this form of sexual fetish is exciting for married men in particular is that it is out of the ordinary and unbelievable, yet painfully ddesirable. These are hot fantasies because they seem to feel right, yet would rarely (if ever) cross a married woman's mind that she would have a desire to seduce her husband and make special preparations to do so unexpectedly.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

ONEARM: Congratulations on completely and blitheringly missing my point entirely. But had you searched my threads you would've come up with results like these:

Why your wife wont have sex with you

Energized Married Life

And most limportanty:
The Desire Dynamic

Since you chose to neglect this advice before posting I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that this is exactly how I'd expect someone unfamiliar with my posts to respond. Yet in doing so you illustrate exactly the attitude that I was getting at by posting this in the first place and this is the preassumption that the cure to a couple's sexual dissatisfactions is rooted in a male's lack of creativity or or communication skills rather than questioning the genuine, unprompted desire of a woman to make that same effort for her husband. You can personalize this all you'd like and I feel no need to qualify myself to you, but you do raise a few good points in your post so I'll address those.

First, as I stated, your initial idea is the highly predictable one, that a man must either be deficient in his level of romance or communication skills and this is the source of his own disastifaction. And again, you obliviously ignore the response I made to PENKITTEN in that by addressing this directly and overtly with a woman, this then sabotages any genuine and unprompted desire she makes of her own accord. The very act of communicating to a woman that a man would like for his wife/girlfriend to be more genuinely passionate invalidates the genuousness he's after because any action she takes after this is now a response to a request and not the unprompted desire he's after.

Secondly, the genre of porn I was describing is what was suspect; how I, you or anyone else percieve it is subjective. I used the scenarios to illicit a response to make a comparisson. I could've just as easily spelled everything out from the beginning and gave everyone my personal take on the whole thing, but that's not very engaging now is it? The questions were catered to make evaluations and illustrate a point:

1.) This was intended to create a comparative situation with regards to genuine desire.

2.) Again this is relative. Some would opt for genuine desire in monogamy others would prefer a non-monogamous encounter. Nothing is presumed in this question, yet you'll readilly admit that scenario 2 is the more likey, my intent was to determine why.

3.) Again, why? You presume at what the answer 'should' obviously be, and from a particularly feminized point of view I might add, but I'm sure there are plenty of DJs who would disagree. And of those who would, why does this seem like the correct response to the question?

4.) What I was getting at in this question was determining what the ratio of female initiated sexual encounters were with respect to being single or monogamous. If I were to insert my own bias here my guess would be that it's men who do the majority of the initiation in ths regard. This forum and others like it are dedicated to male initiated seduction of women, why is it such a stretch to question the reverse here?

I can also see that you've had little experience in formal debate by your amateurish use a of a straw man argument with what I've proposed here, characterizing me personally to be who you'd like me to be in order to knock down the validity of my argument. It's a common resort for people faced with uncomfortable facts in an argument. To which I'll add attack the argument not the person. So until you can come up with some other counter to what I've put forth here, like both of your posts, you're only try to poison the well.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
I had an intersting convresation with a married friend/counsel of mine last night a he sort of opened my eyes to something that's becoming an intersting trend that kind of prompted me to come up with an interesting experiment for the married and formerly married men on this forum. It should also be interesting to see how single guys (or those in LTRs veiw this too. So rather than go into complete detail right now about the subject of our conversation let me present 2 scenarios for you. Bear in mind these are sexual fantasies and you could easily add details to them that might invalidate them, but the illustrations and guy's (as well as women's I suppose) perceptions are what I'm curious about:

Scenario #1
Suppose for the moment you are single if you're married now with no attachments. You and a wing go off to a party to do a little cooperative sarging where you know a good number of HBs will be present. After an hour and a half you successfully kiss close an HB9 and she's definitely given you enough IOI and AIs to know she'd F-Close you that very night. Picking up on this, you propose heading back to your place for whatever made up reason you can think of on the spot. On the drive to your place she is feeling you up and all but fvcking you righ in the car, maybe even giving you head a bit before you arrive. Once there, she strips down to a small bit of lingerie and proceeds to grind and tease you. She then removes everything but her stockings climbs on top of you and has her way with you, finishing you off with a mind blowing BJ.


Scenario #2
You've been married to your wife for 5 years (or longer). While at work she calls you one afternoon and tells you that if you'll come home early she'll "make it worth your while." You happen to be freed up enough at work to take off early and head home. When you arrive, your wife is standing in the kitchen making spaghetti in a g-string and sexy bra. She has a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses set to one side and informs you that the children are at her mother's for the evening. She's still easily an HB 7.5-8 inspite of having kids and her ass looks fantastic in the g-string. After a glass of wine she tells you how hard you've been working and it's time she shows you some 'appreciation'. She begins to give you head in the kitchen, after which you go down on her on the counter top. You take her standing up and she frantically claws your back before she drags you to the livingroom where she rides you in a frenzy.


I appologize for the graphics, but it's necessary. If you're a married or divorced guy reply back to these questions:

1.) Which scenario do you think is more likely to be actualized and why? In otherword's which is the more likely scenario to come true in reality?

2.) Which scenario would you rather participate in in reality? Why?

3.) Which scenario do you think would make for the best sexual experience?

4.) Has a woman ever seduced you whether single or by your wife?


Single guys can respond to this too since it'll show a depth of experience, but married/divorced guys, think hard about this. You're realtively anonymous here so be honest.

I'll reveal the source of this experiment after I think there's enough responses.

1. Either scenario is entirely possible. I have had similar things happen to me.
2. The married one. Sex with a stranger is fine, and can be sexually exciting, but there is nothing on God's Earth that compares to making it with a woman you love and are sexually obsessed with. If she happens to be your wife, so be it.

3. The married one.

4. Not really. They let it be known that they were sexually available to me, and with me, thats all it takes.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
ONE ARM DJ: I'm ignoring your post. Go and search my name in the search engine on this forum and read my posts and you'll know why.

Even you could benefit from tips and advice from time to time. And you are wise enough that you should know that when you think there is nothing left for you to learn you risk becoming stale and complacent. You should know better.

I'm going to answer this in the way you're looking to have it answered even though I'm not a guy. I'm pretty sure I know how most men would answer.

Most men who have been married or are married will likely say that they think scenario one is more likely to happen but they would prefer scenario two over scenario one. Why? Because when a man's partner makes the effort to acknowledge that she appreciates and values him as a mate it's one of the most powerful ego boosts a man can get. Not enough women bother to do that for their partner, unfortunately.

I'm going to take it a little further and say that scenario two would be far more common if men in general did a better job leading their relationships and remembering that a woman's sexual desire isn't wired the same way a man's is. It would be far more common also if more women understood how important it is to show a man that you notice the efforts he makes to be a good man. The women who have figured this out are the same ones who make the effort to look good and greet their significant other at the door wearing saran wrap, stillettos and a naughty grin...

 

[Wyldfire]

Rollo...you might not believe this...but I think I knew the guy who ran that site. His name was Jon and his wife is Cindy. He made millions from his porn sites. Ironically, he opened a forum right after 9/11 and hijacked Al Qaida's web site. I knew him as "Regis". He built his dream house from all the mad money he made from his married sex porn sites. The house had mold and he got very sick. He took his own life earlier this year and his wife now runs the porn sites. They hire out normal married couples to make amateur movies. Regis was a hell of a good guy. He was loved and is missed by many who knew him for his forum. He actucally got his penis enlarged and posted a picture of the results on the same forum that was all over CNN and every other news network after he hijacked that terrorist site. He was a riot. I've never visited the porn site as that's just not my thing...but from what he said, he was the first to tap into that market and pretty much dominated it.

 

[easun]

The first scenario (to me) sounded far more desirable.

The second scenario sounded more common to me and like something a wife is supposed to do. (Maybe just because I've seen it in movies?) If scenario #2 is uncommon, I guess that shows how much I know about marriage. It's also less stimulating since you've known her for 5+ years. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU GET MARRIED IF YOU CAN'T EVEN GET THAT??? How boring. It should be a wife's RESPONSIBILITY to do this from time to time. In fact, I will absolutely divorce my wife if she doesn't ever pull a scenario #2. Sounds like men as a whole need to step up their game and stop settling for CRAP!

Maybe these answers aren't the ones you were looking for, but thanks for illustrating these scenarios to me.

 

[scrouds]

Holy resurrection batman!

 

[Tictac]

4.) Has a woman ever seduced you whether single or by your wife?
--------

I've been hit on more times than I can count (look at my age), even after being married for 24 years, during which I never cheated on my wife. When 'free-to-trade- (before and after my marriage), I followed up on many of the hits, leading quickly to sex in more places than you imagine. But with me leading, not having the woman initiate.

I have NEVER been seduced fantasy porno movie style as in your scenario. Nice fantasy, but more than rare. When I hear stories like this, I sniff for the whiff of bull**** that almost ALWAYS accompanies them.

I have had scenario 2 'like' events where women I was in longer relationships with 'surprised' me in the most delightful ways.

 

[speed dawg]

I have not looked at others' responses while I type this, so here goes:

1.) Which scenario do you think is more likely to be actualized and why? In otherword's which is the more likely scenario to come true in reality?

For me, it's the married version. But that's just me. I was never quick or witty enough to pull alot of one night stands, I always had to work the game a little while to get my pvssy. So choosing from the two, above, definitely #2.

2.) Which scenario would you rather participate in in reality? Why?

That's a tough one, because I don't know that I've had but one real one night stand that played out like that. I think just because of its randomness #1 sounds better.

3.) Which scenario do you think would make for the best sexual experience?

That's even tougher, because I have better sex with my wife and can last longer so I can enjoy it more without thinking I'm going to blow my load constantly. But for the pure sex, #2.

4.) Has a woman ever seduced you whether single or by your wife?

The wife does alot. I remember a chick in high school did it, which was the situation above. Guess I haven't been with too many sexually aggressive chicks. I usually end up making the moves.

 

[speed dawg]

Wow I just replied to a 6.5 year old thread! Still interesting though.

 

[easun]

Yeah, I don't see why the age of the thread matters when the content is still relevant. I knew how old it was when I bumped it.

 

[backbreaker]

rollo you missed your calling as a adult novelist lol

i am not going to sit here and say my sex life is like i just come home and there are rose petals in the bed and my wife is sitting there with a dildo and some ky jelly lol on a regular tuesday night or anything, but at the same time i do think our sex life is better than the vast majority of couples out there.

ironically enough we hardly ever have sex at night. usually when i hit the bed i'm out for the count and even when i'm not, she is a very early bird so sex at night is usually not very fiesable. we are more of the son is sleeping in the couch and we sneak off in the bedroom or we take a shower together. we might go at it 2 sometimes 3 times a week with oral both ways sprinkled in from time to time. neither of us are just horn toads but we like sex.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Still interesting. I reposted this on my blog today.

Thanks for digging this up.