Single Mothers

[EmotionalGeek]

So I recently met single mother in the club. She is about 8 years older then me. I want to try older woman so I basically spend whole night with her. On one hand she seem very attracted to me (kissing me, blushing, devoting her whole night, letting me touch her upper thighs, calling me boyfriend etc.) but on other hand she did not let me french kiss her. I tried to pull her home but she resisted. We exchanged number and after two two days she messaged me. We exchanged some messages. I'm thinking about asking her out but I have few issues:

1. I do not want LTR with her just friends with benefits and I'm not sure whether I won't use her. She is single mother after all
2. She is single mother so she probably won't have a lot of spare time (her kid is 5 years old).
3. I feel a bit embarassed (unsucesfull) if I have to show with older woman even though I want to try.
4. I'm not sure what other issues specific to single mothers can arise

Do you have any advices for me?

 

[Chev.Chelios]

She's better off playing housewife with some chode, very pathetic seeing single mothers out getting wasted with typical bar players while they're kids are at their ex's house with him wondering what went wrong..

Every single mother is damaged, jaded and complete bad news..

Also woman that get abortions.

 

[Paul_FR]

I'm in a LD relationship with a single mother of 3 children from 3 different fathers...15 years older...

Despite all efforts and sacrifices I have and I'm still willing to make for her....She's got her head stuck in her phone all the time on this singing app, talking to loads of other people and has other priorities over me after 5 months of intense relationship.

It went all cold 2 weeks ago for god knows what reason. Sex hasn't been mentioned once in 2 weeks not even a hint in our convos.

I was ok to fill up the space when She was bored. Well fvck that.

Never trust single mothers.

 

[AlphaNate]

You don't need advice for this because you aren't going to date her.

Spin as long as you'd like and move on.

 

[wifehunter]

Get out while you can.

 

[FwoGiZ]

She's better off playing housewife with some chode, very pathetic seeing single mothers out getting wasted with typical bar players while they're kids are at their ex's house with him wondering what went wrong..

Every single mother is damaged, jaded and complete bad news..

Also woman that get abortions.

I am trying to follow your logic here... so if a chick is single mom, she's damaged, but if she gets an abortion (usually to prevent being a single mom?) she's damaged too?
So basically, probably around 95% of half sexual women over the age of 25 are damaged?

OP, here's my thoughts and how I'd roll with that situation. You wanting an older women as a FWB is totally normal, fine and cool.
Several ways this can go. Some single moms truly want to be independent and they don't have time or are just emotionally not wanting something serious. They'll want FWB just to have the attention, the sex, the sensual relationship. Those are actually nice, non clingy, no bs type of girl that will text you at 11PM "wanna fck?".
The other way this will go, is she is trying to find a provider which is probably most of the cases? Either way, it should be irrelevant to how you play your cards until SHE brings it up.
Your intents are clear. This is very good. Now be honest but subtle about it. If she clearly wants a provider, and you think she might bring loads of drama when she finds out you "used her", it might not even be worth it. But personally, I'd pitch a date, escalate to sex on 1st or preferably 2nd max 3rd date, give her a hell of a good time. Keep it simple, casual, sexual. I would NOT act like a bf AT ALL. I'd act like a fun guy that's busy just like she is.
When she brings the famous question "What are we?" you can ask her "Why do you ask? Are you happy, are you ok?" Then see what she says. If she tries to get any of the commitment bs from you before sex such as "I only have sex when I am comfortable", bail out right away. Not worth it. Tell her you're more into passionate relationships where attraction is high. That's what being honest is anyways. If she does after having sex, tell her you really enjoy and are grateful for the relationship you have with her. Which implies, as it is subtly, right? If she wants to see you more, tell her maybe she is looking for a less busy kind of guy than you.

I would very strongly recommend NOT getting into any kinda serious relationship with single mom unless you understand the consequences and are cool with it. Think about the kid... but that's not your case here right?

Do not feel bad for "using her".. this is BS white knights want you to believe so they can justify their beta-ess and fill their blueballs ego. You can be in a simple relationship with her and have everyone happy, there is nothing wrong with that. Just don't lead her with lies to get sex. Subtly stay away from your real intents as it will unnecessarily raises her ASD Flag.
Once women find out how easy and chill those kinda relationships can be, they usually love it. And more often than not, if you are sexually pleasing her, she will come back to you in between her beta bf providers that can't make her cu m

 

[Roober]

Single moms are major taboo around here and I get why for the most part. If you don't want an LTR, and you just want to spin it, I really don't see a problem with that at all. Sounds like you just want to have her as a plate, so what's the problem? If the relationship talk doesn't happen, keep on spinning!

 

[EmotionalGeek]

I just invited her out through message. I will se what happens. I think I create some mental barriers for myself. She has her own brain and desires and I can not guess them so I will just check. I will keep posting when situation develops or I need advice.

 

[Alvafe]

Single moms are major taboo around here and I get why for the most part. If you don't want an LTR, and you just want to spin it, I really don't see a problem with that at all. Sounds like you just want to have her as a plate, so what's the problem? If the relationship talk doesn't happen, keep on spinning!

its not taboo to bang her and have fun, is stupid to take her for a ltr, when there is woman who is single and childless, you only take this kind of woman if you lack options,and that is something you can only blame yourself for

 

[Red Legg]

I have been involved in a LTR with a single mom since December.She owns her own home,makes very good money,is an HB 9 (blone hair blue eyes glorious t!ts) hell she even drives 2 hours each way to see me on the weekends to make sure I get all the super hot sex I need,then pays for the entertainment.My point is there are levels of single moms not all are on welfare,you can also date well above your level...the benefits are vast...just stay away from the welfare queens and you will be fine.

 

[xstang77]

I have been involved in a LTR with a single mom since December.She owns her own home,makes very good money,is an HB 9 (blone hair blue eyes glorious t!ts) hell she even drives 2 hours each way to see me on the weekends to make sure I get all the super hot sex I need,then pays for the entertainment.My point is there are levels of single moms not all are on welfare,you can also date well above your level...the benefits are vast...just stay away from the welfare queens and you will be fine.

I was in your exact same position,drove 2 hours for me and everything...give it a few more months and report back.

 

[devilkingx2]

Problems that could arise dating a single mother:

1. She might be too busy for you

2. She might need lots of money because kids are expensive

3. She might want you to be a replacement daddy and help raise her kid

4. Her baby's father could be a thug or a gangster who won't be happy to see you with "his" girl or his kid

5. She might be a sociopath who got herself pregnant to trap a guy or worse, got pregnant for his money and never planned to let him see his kid

6. She might be a ****ty or irresponsible parent and you'll have to bite your tongue whenever you see her doing something wrong (like mis spending child support for example)

Solutions:

1. Keep her as a side girl or fwb if she's not around enough for you to make her a main

2. Make her think you're broke at the beginning regardless of how much money you actually have and how generous you actually are, this'll weed out the gold diggers

3. Don't agree to it, avoid spending too much time with the kid or making her think you're a responsible father figure

4. Run. (Unless you're a good fighter or something)

5. Run. (Or else you'll be next)

6. Run. (Unless you don't care and can turn a blind eye)

 

[Red Legg]

I was in your exact same position,drove 2 hours for me and everything...give it a few more months and report back.

I already know that I am being "lovebombed"......what happened with your "supermom"?

 

[xstang77]

I already know that I am being "lovebombed"......what happened with your "supermom"?

Long story short she was a solid hb9 it included excessive love bombing, she cooked for me and would always fill my house with groceries, let me hit it till she passed out, she did 5 hours worth of driving just to spend 4 with me one time ,I put up a crib at my place for her daughter to spend the night with her here for the first time,less then a few weeks later she ignores my messages for a few days then dumps me by text, never heard from her again

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Long story short she was a solid hb9 it included excessive love bombing, she cooked for me and would always fill my house with groceries, let me hit it till she passed out, she did 5 hours worth of driving just to spend 4 with me one time ,I put up a crib at my place for her daughter to spend the night with her here for the first time,less then a few weeks later she ignores my messages for a few days then dumps me by text, never heard from her again

So what? You got all the benefits. She was the one driving and investing her time and resources. If you did not plan LTR with her you ripped as much as you could from this relation.

 

[xstang77]

So what? You got all the benefits. She was the one driving and investing her time and resources. If you did not plan LTR with her you ripped as much as you could from this relation.

no we both drove but she invested too and it was a ltr,I mentioned it because redlegg is in a ltr in one too, otherwise if it was a plate or fwb it's a win win.

 

[Roober]

I have been involved in a LTR with a single mom since December.She owns her own home,makes very good money,is an HB 9 (blone hair blue eyes glorious t!ts) hell she even drives 2 hours each way to see me on the weekends to make sure I get all the super hot sex I need,then pays for the entertainment.My point is there are levels of single moms not all are on welfare,you can also date well above your level...the benefits are vast...just stay away from the welfare queens and you will be fine.

My main plate is very similar to this. Hell, last night we went to a nice steak dinner (>$250) and she insisted on paying. While some think it is complete taboo, I am not completely opposed to it, likely because I have my own kids. The key is still finding the elements of a good quality woman; a sympathetic giver, someone who is not severely damaged by previous relationships, etc. Now, it has only been 4 months, so things could certainly change. But that is why you keep yourself at a safe distance for 6-12 months. As women relax (not just single moms), you begin to see them for who they truly are...

It is in another thread, but I think there are key things to look at when considering single moms...
1. Why they are a single mom? amicable divorce and widows are more ideal
2. How they treat their kids.. are they REALLY their top priority?
3. Good family life? Meaning they value family, maybe just didn't find the right person
4. Other good qualities that apply to all women

 

[Red Legg]

My main plate is very similar to this. Hell, last night we went to a nice steak dinner (>$250) and she insisted on paying. While some think it is complete taboo, I am not completely opposed to it, likely because I have my own kids. The key is still finding the elements of a good quality woman; a sympathetic giver, someone who is not severely damaged by previous relationships, etc. Now, it has only been 4 months, so things could certainly change. But that is why you keep yourself at a safe distance for 6-12 months. As women relax (not just single moms), you begin to see them for who they truly are...

It is in another thread, but I think there are key things to look at when considering single moms...
1. Why they are a single mom? amicable divorce and widows are more ideal
2. How they treat their kids.. are they REALLY their top priority?
3. Good family life? Meaning they value family, maybe just didn't find the right person
4. Other good qualities that apply to all women

I disagree with point number 2.I must be the top priority in the relationship...I don't give a hootnanny about another man's spawn,as a matter of fact if she does not put me first I will bail.

 

[Roober]

I disagree with point number 2.I must be the top priority in the relationship...I don't give a hootnanny about another man's spawn,as a matter of fact if she does not put me first I will bail.

And this is likely a difference of opinion here because I do have kids myself. I am primarily referring to the woman has to put others before herself...

Single mom A - leaves kids with ex to spend time with bf/lover, doesn't spend "quality time" with kids, will leave kids in front of tv to talk on the phone or do things with bf/lover, will cancel plans with kids to spend time with bf/lover.
Single mom B - makes kids her priority, but does not pedestalize them. Spends as much of her "kid free" time with bf/lover as possible. Includes guy in activities with kids if he wants, or may adjust to different activities

To me, single mom A is only worth plate status. If a woman puts some random dude she is fvcking before her kids regularly, she is not onlyl a $hitty mother, but also a $hitty human being. Any man that actively pushes her to sacrifice time with her kids, so he can get laid or get things he wants is an equally $hitty person. This would be no different than a single woman asking me to find babysitting, so we can go out. I would tell her to fvck off...

Single mom B would be more for LTR status. She places you as her priority when her kids are not around, but will not regularly give up kids time to "get busy". She will look for ways to bring both worlds together after a period of time.

This is why single moms are so great for plates... You only have to see her 1-2 times per week because the rest of the time she has her kids. When plating a single mom, you have to accept that you can't see her everyday or even every week. There really is no downside to that at all

 

[Red Legg]

And this is likely a difference of opinion here because I do have kids myself. I am primarily referring to the woman has to put others before herself...

Single mom A - leaves kids with ex to spend time with bf/lover, doesn't spend "quality time" with kids, will leave kids in front of tv to talk on the phone or do things with bf/lover, will cancel plans with kids to spend time with bf/lover.
Single mom B - makes kids her priority, but does not pedestalize them. Spends as much of her "kid free" time with bf/lover as possible. Includes guy in activities with kids if he wants, or may adjust to different activities

To me, single mom A is only worth plate status. If a woman puts some random dude she is fvcking before her kids regularly, she is not onlyl a $hitty mother, but also a $hitty human being. Any man that actively pushes her to sacrifice time with her kids, so he can get laid or get things he wants is an equally $hitty person. This would be no different than a single woman asking me to find babysitting, so we can go out. I would tell her to fvck off...

Single mom B would be more for LTR status. She places you as her priority when her kids are not around, but will not regularly give up kids time to "get busy". She will look for ways to bring both worlds together after a period of time.

This is why single moms are so great for plates... You only have to see her 1-2 times per week because the rest of the time she has her kids. When plating a single mom, you have to accept that you can't see her everyday or even every week. There really is no downside to that at all

I don't see how wanting to be first above the kids makes me sh!ty at all...I could argue you are just as sh!ty just wanting her for plate status...the kids will grow up either way knowing mom just loved random c0ck lol