Single mothers. Listen and learn.

[expos]

I've dated two single moms - both were 2 month long relationships. Both kids were under 7 years old and I never met them...so I got away from both relationships before things got REAL.

I will say in all honesty that I wouldn't mind being with a single mother again in a LTR - but only under these circumstances.

1. The kid is out of the house and fully grown. Which is now a option for me because I'm nearing age 35 and I've got 40+ year old women looking at me. Once they find out that I'm single, mid-30's, have a good career, in great shape, look youthful, they are ALL OVER me! lol.

2. His mom and his biological dad are taking on all of the financial responsibilities (college, etc) because I'm not paying a dime to someone's offspring unless I WANT TO.

These are reasonable expectations and only what I will settle for when I get older. I have no interest in taking on the day-to-day responsibilities of looking after anothers offspring especially if that kid is under 18.

 

[Hyper2010]

That's probably the best and most alpha mindset to have regarding this situation. I've been out with SMs myself and once you've spend some money on a child, you actually become expected to spend money on them thereafter.

I let my exes 11 year old use my phone once for 20 mins and it ended up costing me nearly £1500 lol!

P

 

[K2000kidd]

I had a thing for this grl i went to school with and ran into her years later
with two kids in tow and about thirty extra pounds of gut and azz. she had
the audacity to tell me how she used to like me in high school but never had
the nerve to say anything. I told her the kids were adorable and that I don't
date fat chicks anymore. haven't heard from her since

 

[skinnyguy]

Single mothers are damaged goods. You only go for a single mom if you're completely desperate.

If you're desperate, then go for it. It's better than fapping to porn on Saturday night.

 

[tripod23]

hi guys i am new here but iv been reading all the threads for a while now having been put through some really **** over the last few months.......i was with a single mother and the kids dad didnt want to see his daughter , i thought he may be a cnut......but i dont think so......the mother turned out to be the most screwed up lady i have ever met seriously......she had her own place . a good job . car . plenty of money . she claims she was a grafter in her younger yrs......i tried to care for both mother and daughter while casually dating ect , the mother wanted me round there all the time sleeping over ect....which i obviously didnt do . she let her daughter speak to me like pure ****e ..... play fighting turned into her kicking hell out of me and the mother did very little to be honest.......as soon as i stood up for myself and told her what i would do if any child of mine behaved like that i saw a different side of the mother.........total nut job . they both live in a fantasy world only watching ****e on tv and never any news ect . i walked away only to find out a fews weeks later she had another dude round at her house - surprize surprize.......my mother once told me years ago you will always come second to anyones child . this is an edited version of what took place there is not enough space to write everything if im honest . i will tell you another story about a guy i work with below this ok.

 

[tripod23]

this guy i work with told me he was single till he was 39 he is now 50........he met this chick who was married they got it on and her marriage broke up.....you would think they would live happily ever after wouldnt you.......the best bit has yet to come trust me..........she always wanted a child they ended up having a daughter....problems started and they split up and wanted she him out of the house.....she transfered money from her store cards onto their joint cards that his name was on as the main player ect not to worry it was only 7 grands worth........he had to pay her out when getting divorced not a problem only another few grand the car they owned which she took. she rung him one day and said do you want the car back....he said well if you dont want or cant afford it yes why not.......she say well its yours but its parked up in leeds with no tax no mot and the head gasket has gone good luck its yours. he told me he said to her what have i ever done to hurt you .....she replied ...you broke my marriage up....anyway i have your child now and your money......all in all it cost him £50k to divorce her,,,,,,only problem is he still has to see her sad ass because he has a kid to her ....WTF ...... ME 42 SINGLE NO KIDS 2 BUSINESES A VAN A CAR AND MONEY IN THE BANK. WILL I EVER GET MARRIED / NOT LIKELY .........UNLESS SHE HAS A GOLD PLATED POONY.........EVEN THEN SHE IS ON A TRIAL. BY THE WAY NEVER TELL THEM HOW MUCH YOU HAVE ...IF ANYTHING TELL THEM YOUR ON A TIGHT BUDGET THAT WILL SNIFF EM OUT.

 

[Drays52]

So I'm in the epitome of this situation, and I'm brand new here, so forgive me for being a complete moron. Here is my situation. I'm 27 YO, I have a decent job, divorced, no kids, and am in decent shape (I run triathlons). I'm currently dating a Single mom of three little ones (two boys 2 and 4 years old, and a girl 1 year old). This girl has a checkered past with drugs, but has cleaned herself up over the last year or two and seems to have some ambition for a better life. Starting to get back to school, wanting to be a better mother, and healing things with her family. The boys dad is not in the picture as he is a heavy drug user from another city, they don't see him, and barely even know who he is. The girls father has custody right now, and my girlfriend has visitation. Things seem to be ok, but it seems like everytime I see her she is talking to some other guy, about something. Sometimes it's innocent and I'm sure I'm insecure, and others she is definitely flirting. When I bring it up I don't care for it and it must stop, she tells me she won't be controlled and that's the only reason it gets to me because I want to control her. Now I've caught her in a few lies about talking to a few guys on Facebook and texting, I've seen it on her phone. I obviously have some low self esteem, my question is am I overreacting? Should I care she talks to these guys? It bothers the piss out of me, and I'm constantly feeling like I have to check up on her. She seems to have real problems with boundaries, and while she has never cheated on me or any of her other boyfriends, she still crosses some lines I feel. She always tells me she loves me and I'm the man she wants to be with, I'm so good to her and her babies, I am a great man...but the second I voice a concern, all hell breaks loose? What the hell is going on? Could someone give me an idea if this situation will ever work or am I crazy, or better yet, is she? Am I being played? I appreciate the help!

 

[Nebel]

So I'm in the epitome of this situation, and I'm brand new here, so forgive me for being a complete moron. Here is my situation. I'm 27 YO, I have a decent job, divorced, no kids, and am in decent shape (I run triathlons). I'm currently dating a Single mom of three little ones (two boys 2 and 4 years old, and a girl 1 year old). This girl has a checkered past with drugs, but has cleaned herself up over the last year or two and seems to have some ambition for a better life. Starting to get back to school, wanting to be a better mother, and healing things with her family. The boys dad is not in the picture as he is a heavy drug user from another city, they don't see him, and barely even know who he is. The girls father has custody right now, and my girlfriend has visitation. Things seem to be ok, but it seems like everytime I see her she is talking to some other guy, about something. Sometimes it's innocent and I'm sure I'm insecure, and others she is definitely flirting. When I bring it up I don't care for it and it must stop, she tells me she won't be controlled and that's the only reason it gets to me because I want to control her. Now I've caught her in a few lies about talking to a few guys on Facebook and texting, I've seen it on her phone. I obviously have some low self esteem, my question is am I overreacting? Should I care she talks to these guys? It bothers the piss out of me, and I'm constantly feeling like I have to check up on her. She seems to have real problems with boundaries, and while she has never cheated on me or any of her other boyfriends, she still crosses some lines I feel. She always tells me she loves me and I'm the man she wants to be with, I'm so good to her and her babies, I am a great man...but the second I voice a concern, all hell breaks loose? What the hell is going on? Could someone give me an idea if this situation will ever work or am I crazy, or better yet, is she? Am I being played? I appreciate the help!

Do yourself a huge favor and don't go for it!
I'm a bit older than you (29) and I've already been in a relationship with a girl who had only one kid. She had similar background. Clean (?) drug abuser but her husband hanged himself 2 years before we met.
They are too unstable.
And taking over 3 kids that are not yours? I don't mind dating a single mom with one kid, but what you're getting yourself into is just madness!
Spend more of that time boosting your confidence and if you must, get a normal, nice woman, even if she has a kid.
But don't go for some ****ed up woman with major baggage.

 

[VikingKing]

There was this girl from highschool I was "friends" with, who i was trying to ****. I almost did one night, but she gave a little lmr and i backed off. We were alone in her bed to.

Any way, she was a single mom, She was a terrible person. She strung this one ex bf along and used him for emotional support, and cuddling. All the while she was fvckingher new bf, and the ex knew. That poor sorry motherfvcker, always looked depressed.

Any way, she ended up marrying this 30 yearold loser guy, and I think its just because she didn't want to work.

She called me up one day, for what ever reason. Well her new beta provider calls me at 3 am, saying hes worried about her calling me.

I was like look man stop being so insecure. I honestly dislike this girl to the point where I wouldnt want to fvck her. I bet she cheats on him, but honestly I dont care.

 

[tripod23]

this is just my opinion on these type of situations , if a woman has kids to different blokes dudes whatever you want to call them ...then she is a foooooking nut job full stop. why would anyone want children all to have different fathers wtf are then kids going to grow up like its not heathly , plus it doesnt look great to have a chick with kids to different dads who are into drugs and all that **** . when i was 27 i used to foook this girl who had one kid ...but because i would never have a relationship with her she found herself a real winner who knocked her up and screwed her life up . some chicks are desprate for attention and will go to any lengths to get it to boost their ego .... i am single at the moment and my last relationship before the last nutter was 13 yrs .... and i wasnt married and we didnt live together either... which is probably what cause a few of the problems to be fair . but in all fairness she was a great girl but i am just too affraid of getting turned over ....and we all know it happens everyday . dont get me wrong i know that there is lots of great women out there but you may just not like them but a lot of them are very genuine and want nothing more than a genuine guy to be part of their lives . but its 50/50 in a relationship and without trust there can never be love because the most important thing in a mans eyes is loyalty. if i was 27 again i would keep doing what i did when i was 27 and thats focus on your mission in life and do not take any s--t of women . be respectfull if you can but if they try to manipulate you do a u turn and walk away....women always test men to see if you are upto the job ..... the problem here is that women will think you are weak when you are just not prepared to take their s--t . kids to different dads .... run like hell and put her on the dna list..............dna = do not answer .... good luck

ps drays52 you sound like a decent fella to me , but if i was you i would not put up with a women i was with chatting to other dudes in this way , foook that s--t . how would she feel if it was the other way round eh eh think about it . trust me take no s--t because she will leave you once she knows she has you where she needs you . your young in good shape and all that get your head sorted and i mean sorted and realise you deserve better.... best of luck mate