Single moms.. learn from MY mistake!

[seethehoop]

"He already has a dad and I'm not looking for any other man to be a part of his life"

surely you realised this was jus a way to get you more comfortable with no pressure and that it would be inevitable that you would have to be involved if you were to have a ltr.

If you didn't then you need a slap. What else would she say "yeah, I'm looking for a guy that will be my partner in raising my kid, if you wanna be with me you need to take on my kid too" cos that ain't gonna happen. You'd run a mile.

You knew what was on the table so don't blame her, any man that takes on a single mum is gonna have to take on the kid too one way or another. this is on you my friend no one else.

 

[ilikecharlene]

I think like most things in life, this single mums issue is shades of grey, not black and white.

I personally wouldn't be in a serious relationship with a single mother (as an incidental point I don't like children much). But if a single mother is "evil", it is specific to her, little else. Single mothers can be so due to divorce, widowhood, separation, or purposefully via artifical insemination. to presume they are all losers who got knocked up is silly.

A top manager earning $150,000 a year could be a divorced single mother. Is she a loser?

 

[Uberguy]

"He already has a dad and I'm not looking for any other man to be a part of his life"

surely you realised this was jus a way to get you more comfortable with no pressure and that it would be inevitable that you would have to be involved if you were to have a ltr.

Yup. "He already has a dad..." is the second biggest piece of BS that a woman has ever told a man, right after: "He and I are just friends. Why are you so jealous?"

We lie as well, of course. "I promise I'll pull out..." has been uttered by men for millennia. In fact, it's this lie from us that causes women to start telling their lie 9 months later.

If you're the type of guy who honestly would be okay raising another man's child (bear in mind it's going to cost you about $400,000 to do so over two decades...it's not a cheap contribution to help some dead-beat spread his seed), then yeah, date single mothers. Otherwise, stay the heck away from them, because they are all searching for a surrogate father for their progeny.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

i was in this situation about 5 years ago. i dated a mom with 2 kids. i was really lonely and she liked me, so you know how it goes. she treated me well and i treated her well, but there were tons of things that made it go sour...her kids were annoying me, i wasnt ready to be a dad or to marry her, her past bothered me(she had been a cheater, but now claimed to be faithful), it was just way too much baggage. she was rather clingly, she wanted me to marry her so bad. what really ended it was she wouldnt stop texting and talking to her exes. so i left her.
today i refuse to date single mothers even though that limits my choices. i get a lot of crap for it from people, especially women. if you mention you will not date a single mother, they think thats a crime. it really is a lot of baggage for a man. youll always have to deal with her ex husbands, take her kids to their dads house, raise her kids conflicting with how her ex raises them, not to mention it will all drain you wallet bigtime. why should i have to deal with that?

Horsesh1t! You don't want to date a single mom. A very reasonable decision. Anyone who thinks otherwise can go to hell. No surprise that the negative responses come mainly from women. They invariably side with each other in dating debates.

You're not superficial for not wanting to date single moms. You know how many women say stupid things like how they will only date men over 6' tall? LOTS. Now THAT is superficial.

 

[ilikecharlene]

Horsesh1t! You don't want to date a single mom. A very reasonable decision. Anyone who thinks otherwise can go to hell. No surprise that the negative responses come mainly from women. They invariably side with each other in dating debates.

You're not superficial for not wanting to date single moms. You know how many women say stupid things like how they will only date men over 6' tall? LOTS. Now THAT is superficial.

Something only short men say, or those of the undesired trait who feel inadequate/unwanted? Preferences are preferences, they can be based on any criterion.

 

[Solomon]

Stig clean out your inbox mate!!!

 

[Skalioppe]

My pal met a single mother, he's short, overweight, but successful and very funny. She's possibly one if the fittest women I've ever met, closest to a HB10 I've ever seen and every bloke (I mean EVERY) that meets her is smitten. She's intelligent, beautiful, doting and a great laugh... and he says their sex life is incredible. Her only issue was she had a kid when she was at Uni. She didn't suck him in, she was independent, he made all the moves was persistent and eventually won her over. They are the happiest couple I know, got married and had another kid.

To demonise all all single mothers is a crock of sh1t.

 

[Robert28]

most single mothers are man haters anyways. they teach their kids to be man haters too.

 

[Purefilth]

single mums cant be hb 9 / 10, as soon as they mention they have a kid, they drop at least 3 points..
in my book anyway.

 

[Robert28]

single mums cant be hb 9 / 10, as soon as they mention they have a kid, they drop at least 3 points..
in my book anyway.

to be honest, 90% of the women that I know that have kids now look like immortal @$$. the 10% that don't are married. i think that's part of the reason i don't want kids. IF, and that's a big IF, i ever get married my wife better stay as fit as she did the day i marry her. i plan to, so no excuses for her. d@mn these women that stay fat and saggy and dress like a bum for years after they've had kids.

 

[Solomon]

Is there even a point going on dates with single mothers for a screws? Im sorry but I feel even that is a waste of time

where is floyd?

lol

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Something only short men say, or those of the undesired trait who feel inadequate/unwanted? Preferences are preferences, they can be based on any criterion.

I'm average height jackass. You completely missed the point of my post.
I was letting the OP know there is nothing wrong with his decision against dating single mothers and not to let women make him feel bad for it, because they are much more picky with men. Women would likely turn him down for much less serious issues than having children from a previous relationship/marriage. So there is no reason for him to put up with criticism for a valid preference.

So shut your ignorant mouth unless you have something insightful to say.

Thank you.

 

[Solomon]

Wait until you are 45, and 99% of them are single mothers. Because if they are dating, they are single. If they haven't had kids by then, it will be odd indeed.
How many women NEVER wanted kids? I realize some can't have kids.....but dude, your attitude will change if you happen to be single in your 40's

I guess, but I'm not even 30 yet and the amount of SM's I'm meeting are waaaaaay to many (19-30).

Not only that but hopefully in the 40's the kids are big enough to take care of themselves. These women at my age are looking for a "daddy" even if they say they don't. Not only that but logictis with these women are a nightmare. Seriosuly you can only see them 1 day every week if your lucky?

fucc that

 

[Zarky]

Every mom I've ever dated (with the exception of the chick who had a C-section) had a much looser vag than the non-moms. I'm boning two chicks right now, both late 30s, one has had 3 kids and the other none, and the difference is night and day.

Keep this in mind.

 

[Solomon]

Dude, if I were in your shoes I would think the same way. Realize though, that as you age, you will HAVE to become more accepting of dating women who do not have a mate but have children. This does NOT make them bad people.
But your pool of single women without children is going to dwindle as YOU age, if you date women in your age bracket.And, you aren't going to magically skip that pool and go from women 25 to women 45 who's kids have left home, lol. There WILL be a period when you are faced with this.The divorce rate is 50 %...............so half of all HAPPILY MARRIED WOMEN TODAY WILL BE SINGLE MOTHERS AT SOME POINT IN THE FUTURE (assuming that most women want and can have children - and I believe they do)


Having said that, I hear you on the logistics, yes, it is true, you WILL come second to the kids, and yes, most importantly, and I have come to believe this:

SINGLE MOTHERS ARE TO BE TREATED WITH CAUTION, IN THE SENSE THAT MANY OF THEM ARE IN AN ECONOMIC POSITION WHERE THEY ARE LOOKING FOR A "FATHER" FOR THEIR KIDS AND A MEAL TICKET THROUGH LIFE.

I see that even at my age, women still mlooking for the meal ticket. My last GF was.

So for now, enjoy nexting and ruling out the ones with kids....realize that that pool WILL shriink as YOU age, and that you will have to change your views, if you want to date. There is no way around this.
Good luck, and have fun !

I'm already dating younger, and I suggest you do too if not hopefully by your age I will be married to a hot Brailiszan broad with a ass that would put Ice-T's wife to shame

:crackup:

 

[Beowolf]

I would never want to see my own kids placed as equal to another man's. Stay away from them. Every single one I knew turned men into go-fers. And if you pump and dump them, what would you think as a kid of your own mother doing this? Also, if she leaves her kids for you, then you know she's a crazy b****, and the kids get damaged anyway. It's a no win situation for everyone involved. In my own life I've learned that staying free and single is better than being tied down with a single mom. There can be only one exception, and that being when I am an old man, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand she is past her child-bearing years!!!

 

[myopoh]

I would highly advise to stay away from single mothers. I have honestly spend more money than I care to admit on a single mother only to realize it was it was a total f*cking waste. Sure I got laid, but at what price! I'm now banging single women exclusively and I don't have to deal with the previous drama. You've been warned fellow Sosuave brother.......

 

[J Roc]

I would highly advise to stay away from single mothers. I have honestly spend more money than I care to admit on a single mother only to realize it was it was a total f*cking waste. Sure I got laid, but at what price! I'm now banging single women exclusively and I don't have to deal with the previous drama. You've been warned fellow Sosuave brother.......

How many dates did it take to get her in bed? Did you spend any money on her kid(s)?

 

[5string]

Read this and learn from another man's mistake.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=178965

 

[Greasy Pig]

I've recently started seeing a single mum and after reading this thread, now I'm scared! Lol
I swore I'd never date one but this chick is great. She's a HB8, size 4, got money, her own house (thanks to the divorce obviously) and she treats me better than any other women I've been semi-serious with.
The logic behind my decision stems from the childless women I've dated who turned out to be inveterate cvnts. And my "skanky ho" radar isn't going off with this one. I'd be shocked if she'd slept with more than 10 guys in her life.
I've fvcked nearly 200 women and I feel I'm ready to give this a go.
Having my own kids isn't a high priority, but being with a good female companion is. And that's what I see in this chick.

I don't think I'm settling. I had four other plates spinning when I first hooked up with her and she pushed her way to the front of the pack.
She's thoughtful, she cooks, we bust each other's balls all the time and laugh our heads off. I'm feeling mostly positive about it. I should also mention that we've been friendly (not "friends" in the classic sense, we just kept in touch) since we were teenagers.

I feel I'm maintaining a strong frame and keeping her on her toes. I'm a realist and I'm ready to walk if I feel things going south.
Contrary to trying to convince me she doesn't need me in her kids' lives, she's been honest and gone to great lengths to make sure I'll be comfortable with them around.
I even found a website on her computer giving advice to single mums on trying to make a relationship work with a new man! Lol
The father has them on weekends which is perfect.

But I can see a lot of similarities between her exemplary behaviour and that exhibited by other SMs mentioned in this thread.
I'll be watching this one like a hawk for any of the crap behaviour others have found with these types of women.
She's passed all my red flag tests so far, but let's see how it plays out.