Single + Hot = Crazy

[Rollo Tomassi]

I wonder if the same would be true had this question been asked to 100 different women.

My guess is that you'd get answers biased by how relatively attractive each woman was. This is similar to how most very attractive women aren't as bothered by sexualization in varying degrees as they become less and less so. In other words the HB5 will rail against sexism of skimpy bikinis and beauty pageants, while the HB10 could care less. It serves the less attractive women's imperative to disqualify more attractive women's chances of taking the men they'd want to pair with. This is hypergamy 101. So the gorgeous blonde HB10 with huge t!ts is automatically cast as a bimbo. Women would like nothing more than for a high value men to think of more attractive, chronically single women to be considered damaged goods.

 

[DMSR76]

I know several women who have a history of turmoil and drama in their intimate relationships. These women have not learned one thing from their experiences...

This is very much the case in soooooo many of these instances.


I agree with squirrels' point about the refusal of women to mature due to lack of parental guidance and simp empowerment. Good stuff.

But I also think a lot of these chronically single 9s and 10s simply aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. There's a BIG difference between smarts and intelligence. Although some of these women are indeed intelligent from an academic standoint, many lack the smarts to really capitalize on their assets while they still have market value. I'd like to point out the 500 lb elephant in the room: Just because these women are single, doesn't mean they aren't juggling ****s. There's always and abundance of men walking through that revolving door. They simply don't learn life lessons very well. By the time they realize that perhaps "wild and free till infinity" wasn't the best course of action for their lives, they've basically reached cougar status. These women may be hot, but a man of substance knows tainted goods when he sees it... and most likely, he's not buying. (At least not beyond a possible one-nighter).


This lack of smarts may be the result of that arrested development to which squirrels was referencing. Many of these women aren't crazy, but rather they're foolish enough to think they can mimic men and avoid some inevitable consequences.

 

[romangod]

Essentially, is an HB 9 who's never been in a healthy LTR by age 30 a woman that men should wary of? Is it a red flag?

My response depends on 2 factors. What do I consider as a HB9 and what do I consider as a healthy LTR?

My views of what is a HB9 have changed as I get older and wiser (I hope). It's no longer an AW with a great but used up body that has defined herself by her sex appeal. These types of women no longer appeal to me especially as her expiration date approaches and all that is left is an older cvnt trying to relive her past glory. They are an empty soul in a decaying body reaping what they sow. They're not for me. I've been there and done that and I no longer need to suffer them to boost my once fragile ego. The price is too high.


A healthy LTR by age 30? I don't know if there is such a thing in today's day and age. If it was healthy, it probably wouldn't be over.


Having said that, a HB9 to me is someone that is attractive in a modest way and shows the good character of what was once called a "lady". She values herself and has expanded her mind without losing her femininity in a vane effort to boost her own ego.


They do exist and I have met many but they are rare and slowly becoming extinct. To me, it doesn't mean a red flag. It's actually very attractive.


Cheers!

 

[Jeffst1980]

I don't see any possible way that a woman's attractiveness could predispose her to mental illness. I think current research points to a genetic link for this predisposition, and a combination of genes and early childhood experience for its activation. A history of childhood trauma is found quite frequently, and that seems to be an incendiary factor.

I think the arrow of causation goes the other way: Crazy & Hot => Perpetually Single. Probably not in any greater proportion than in the average population, but the single, hot, and crazy girl always attracts a ton of attention. I certainly don't think her experience as a 9/10 has made her crazy.

The most attractive girls have much more to gain by remaining single longer, and if she's in the entertainment industry, her job will likely preclude any serious LTR commitments. I would worry MORE about the hot, EASY single chick--the kind that is very forward and overly sexual--there just isn't any good reason for girl like that to want to behave in that manner. If nothing else, it shows a lack of social awareness.

I don't really see any stigma on unmarried men in their 30's, so long as they're doing SOMETHING--maybe it's only in small towns? I think for all the "cougar" hype, the social pressure on unmarried women that age is STILL enormous. The most attractive women of the bunch aren't as fazed by this, however, because they know they can settle down whenever they want. Even if their beauty fades a bit with age, they still have a significant leg up on the competition. It's pretty much the same with alpha males.

I agree that considering a girl to crazy just because she's hot and perpetually single is just making excuses for oneself. It's certainly a self-fulfilling prophecy, because EVERYONE has their issues. I think that's been the case with some of the many BPD threads on here--a classic, pathological BPD is so destructive that she would be unable to maintain ANY friendships. More likely, she's just a spoiled brat.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Funny! Any and all beautiful woman you see whether or not they are single or not it does not matter because you and other like minded astute men will be saying to their self, "There is one bytch where somebody got tired of her shyt!" The older I get the less likely I am to put up with their garbage.

It is unfortunate for me to see a lot of single women because I attach a stigma to them and think they are single for a reason. More often than not, it is true!!! A lot of these creatures have a ton of issues and baggage. For me finding one that is low on issues is job one!!! Do they even exist??

 

[Powerlifter]

Rollo, why the question in the first place about single attractive women being childless and single in their 30's?

Was this brought to your attention from a single attractive childless woman in her 30's and wanted you to gage the forum?

Actually with your background I believe you have in debt knowledge and know the answer depending on the circumstances on the single woman but I could be wrong.

No one has never been bold enough to ask me if I was gay just because I have been a single male my whole life and (childless) that I know of. But I do get that look from some that really wonder why. Seriously I never really thought much about it until someone brings it up and starts the I need kids so I will be taken care of in my old age or some other reason.

I will say since I have broken the 50 mark I do believe I would like to pass on my genes to a lovely lady and yes maybe marry in a non tradition no church and no death do us part bullsh*t. But some form showing a committment to each other to give some trust and stability to the relationship even though it's not fool proof. Without a mate or a committed relationship my wealth would be given to charity and not to any offspring or wife so theres the problem lies. I have no one to pass on my legacy a big concern I have but I don't loose sleep.

Anyway, I know I went off topic but I felt being the only middle age single male never married without kids I thought I would express my opinion and concerns.

Powerlifter

 

[2crudedudes]

pick sexy and sane, and get rid of the guy

If you get rid of the guy, then the chick is single. Meaning you picked all 3...

 

[Sinistar]

What I mean is an otherwise healthy, dating, attractive woman who's unable to establish a long term connection with a guy. That may be due to men becoming wary of her, or by her own inability to make a lasting connection due to her own insecurities. Essentially, is an HB 9 who's never been in a healthy LTR by age 30 a woman that men should wary of? Is it a red flag?

In the spirit of your question; If a good friend met and started dating a woman like this and her dating history was revealed, I think many people (including myself) would say it's a red flag. However, had that same good friend met a HB7 with the exact same dating history I think everyone would still call it a red flag. Thus, her appearance is more a distraction than a correlating factor.

However, because she is very attractive, society (at least 95% of us) will go on and read more into it (think programming and expectations) and generally respond like: "There must be something wrong with her, she is so attractive and she still isn't married / pregnant by her early 30's."

For some reason we can accept that a HB4 may never get married by the time she's 30 (or ever). Maybe because we see it so often, empathize etc. But a HB9 unmarried at 30 seems outside the norm, but more importantly - we can't really identify with it or empathize because we feel she was dealt such an advantage (genetically) only to "abuse" it or waste it.

Back to your question, I'll throw out a guess. Let's say you rounded up all the HB9's that fit your question and you found 100. If you first remove all the career types (several of which will marry and have babies in their later 30's, early 40's). You'll be left with less than 100%. For the rest of this group I'd think you'd see somewhere around 2x-3x the national average for things like personality disorders, actual psych issues, etc.

So some (but definitely not the majority) are actual diagnosable nut jobs. About 1/3 of those are due to genetics. The other 2/3 or so are probably because of extreme family scenarios such as extreme alcoholic parent, parents with mega psych problems , rape, assault, stalkers, etc.

I think the rest just turned out as you described for all the more common factors (parents divorced, single parent upbringings, alcoholic parents, non-appearance related stressors such as death in the family, no siblings or friends to learn from, bad parenting, difficulty getting over a early relationship, medical conditions, etc, etc, etc). But for some reason, it is more difficult for us to accept this later group as "normal" when they are so attractive yet seem to throw away all the advantages and power associated with attractiveness.

Interesting question - lots of ways to go with it.

Either way, ACF's will go for all 100 because they're hot and scarce

 

[MatureDJ]

I agree with this wholeheartedly. There is an equilibrium point, at which women who have a high enough sum of the components will generally be in relationship, one way or another (and usually quickly scooped up into a long terms pre-marriage or eventual marriage); those who so not have a high enough sum will typically find themselves perennially single and available. Of course, some of these components cannot be easily changed (such as sexual market value, especially if dieting were not to be considered to be a plausible option, etc.), but others can (i.e., better attitude, etc.), and in the end a woman can always drop her stuckupness to an extraordinarily low value, no matter how nasty looking and bìtchy.

These components are:

Intrinsic:

- general sexual market value - i.e., age, attractiveness (of course!), whether she has children, intelligence and socioeconomic situation (and really only an issue if they are low in these) - THIS IS FAR AND AWAY THE MOST IMPORTANT

Determinable:

- appropriate acceptance of her own sexual market value (i.e., not being stuck-up), which is related to the characteristic in the form of desire for heterosexual companionship (i.e., generally women who are stuck up have a low desire for companionship, and would only feel the need to get in a relationship if their Superman or Prince Charming were to show up)

Mixture of Intrinsic & Determinable:

- visibility in the dating market, either from her own natural situation (i.e., how much does her path cross naturally possible suitors, how extensive is he social network to be able to meet or be set up with such suitors, etc.) or her determination to be visible (i.e., going out to social situations to make it more possible to meet suitors, actively engaging in e-dating, etc.); this could also include the amount of time she can or chooses to devote to the social situations that could lead to meeting suitors

Psychological (be it intrinsic or determinable)

- social skills, outgoingness - i.e., not being shy or seeming disinterested when her true feelings are to the contrary, etc.

- general personality, including emotional stability and non-flakiness

- ability and desire to supplicate herself properly to keep a man interested - this runs from the little things that make a man say to himself that he's got a good woman to the amount of sex (or other signs of affection if she is virginal) that she supplies

So to get back to the gist of Rollo's contention, a woman who is generally single (i.e., a woman can always be temporarily single - this is not the same thing) and has high sexual market value (i.e., she is HOT) must have some low scores in many of the other components. Now if she is socially visible (i.e., this would not exclude those cloistered babes), then those other scores must be even lower. She could very well be very stuckup. Since a stuckup woman would not be the type of person that a typical man would have an opportunity with (since she would be too stuckup to date him), she would self-selected out of the available population from his POV.

Thus, this would leave the only reasons as psychological - a low score of which Rollo has termed as 'crazy.

 

[MatureDJ]

I don't see any possible way that a woman's attractiveness could predispose her to mental illness.

I beg to differ. Referring back to my previous post, a woman has to have a net sum of components above a certain equilibrium point to be typically taken as opposed to typically single. If only (childless) maidens are considered (since single mothers have already passed on their genes), then the only women who will reproduce are those that have a high enough net score to get a man who the woman deems as serious enough to have unprotected sex with him long enough to get a pregnancy (and this score is at a lower equilibrium point then the point at which a woman would typically have the state of having a man.) The woman who would have too low of a score would typically not get pregnant, and so her genes would not pass on to the nest generation of women.

So what type of a woman would have a high enough score to get pregnant? Well, first there are those at the high enough level to have a man around that we have already discussed. The 'tweener, between this level and the lower equilibrium level, will consist of both women who could have less sexual market value, but otherwise have the same score in the other qualities as the higher group, but will also tend to have more of the women who are have the high sexual market value, but also the bad psychological scores. And especially if the real nutty women who couldn't keep a man more than a month or two are included, for them to reproduce, they would tend to have the high sexual market score just to put them into the game long enough for a horny guy to stick in it and squirt before he would awaken to the train wreck he has gotten into. The woman who has the low sexual market value but high socioeconomic score, who would otherwise have the same net equilibrium score with respect to the hot but nutty woman, would not be as able to, nor particularly want to, get a man to stick in it and squirt. Hence, the part of the marginal genetic stock that is being reproduced comes from the hot and nutty woman, as opposed to the plain and stable woman, with the net result being a correlation between hotness and nuttiness. Quad Erat Demonstradum.

 

[iqqi]

Well not that I am a 10 or anything...

But I am considered a hot chick by a few and I have been single way more than I have been in a relationship. In high school, I was single. For most of my 20's, I was single. I got into a LTR of 3 years from 23-27 mostly to prove that I could and that nothing was wrong with me, and even that I look back on as a mistake.

Why single? Simply a combination of independence and goals.

I had higher expectations than what I was seeing around me. And I was used to being alone as an only child, so I didn't have a need to be around another person constantly.

Then as I got older, I realized that I really enjoyed my own company. I prefer to be alone a lot of the time. I am not swayed by social opinion on things, and even find that a lot of the time I am not having a good time when I am part of a large group, because most of the time large groups are completely lacking individual thought.

I have been in a relationship for nearly a year now, and I actually MISS being alone.

Am I crazy? :crazy:

Nah. I am just extremely confident in my solitude.

I think that attractive girls who choose to be alone are catches, because they have an inner fortitude that most people lack. I think you would find intelligence and depth, maybe on the brink of insanity rather than a crazy chick.

However hot chicks who moan about not being able to FIND a boyfriend, well that is indeed another story, and a reason to be worried.

IMO.

 

[The Message Boy]

I mimic these two posters:

Zarky

The key to seduction is not painting with a broad brush. This thread paints with a very broad brush

iqqi

But I am considered a hot chick by a few and I have been single way more than I have been in a relationship. In high school, I was single. For most of my 20's, I was single. I got into a LTR of 3 years from 23-27 mostly to prove that I could and that nothing was wrong with me, and even that I look back on as a mistake.

Why single? Simply a combination of independence and goals.

The question of concern is too broad, stereotypical (potentially linking a competent single attractive woman to perhaps another single attractive woman that had issues), and cannot be answered without examining individual circumstances.

Rollo

Essentially, is an HB 9 who's never been in a healthy LTR by age 30 a woman that men should wary of? Is it a red flag?

I don't think so.

1.) What if she's been more focused on her career?

2.) What if the guys that do get the nerve to approach her, she has not been attracted to?

3.) What if she's been in relationships that all went sour due to having a bad partner?

Relationship success is a result of having two partners that are RIGHT for each other, and just because you have yet to find that other person that is RIGHT for you, does not mean you are a red flag.

Some people might NEVER find that right person and thus, remain single for a longer extended period of time or settle for partners that they know might not lead to sustaining relationships.