Simple exercise: Honesty

[Huffman]

You can read it everywhere: "accept yourself", "be yourself", "improve yourself". But how do you do that? Well I don't know, but here's one simple thing that will help you on your way.

Honesty - with yourself, and with others. Try for 1 week to be completely honest. Up until now, you probably have been using a lot of "convenience lies". For example, when asked "what are you doing on the weekend" you might say "I'm seeing some friends" even though you're not. Just to look cool. But everytime you do this, it kind of hurts a little.

Why? Because you're AFRAID of looking boring. This, however, is now a thing of the past. Speak the truth: "nothing much, playing some computer games". You will notice that it's hard to speak the UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH. You might think you're suave, but you're still full of FEAR. Take a good look at yourself and say:

So what! If they give you sh1t, defend yourself. Maybe you enjoy computer games. This is self-acceptance.

Do this for ONE WEEK. For the first time, other people will judge you FOR WHAT YOU ARE. Be honest with others - and, ultimately, with yourself.

 

[Huffman]

STEP 2!

You did well, congratulations! But you're not finished yet, oh no. After your week of honesty, take another look at yourself. You have, for the first time, seen the real you. So, how was it?

Reflect on your answers and choices.
You spent the weekend playing computer games because "maybe you like computer games". MEEEP! Was that really HONEST? Could it have been that the real reason was that you don't have any/many friends to hang out to begin with? If you answered YES (or even maybe) then it's time to take

Action!
You have identified what you don't like about your life. Now go ahead and change it. Don't try to do it all at once, but take the first small step TODAY. You will notice that many of the people you were being honest with are actually willing to help you on your way.

You see, honesty will come in at every point of your life. Being honest about yourself means being honest to yourself.

 

[Huffman]

tl;dr version
1. Be honest to others => lose fear, gain confidence; accept yourself
2. Be honest to yourself => identify weakness; take action; become superhero
3. Save the world => this is an optional step

 

[lakeshore]

I like your post on honesty Huffman. This goes along with
being a genuine person which everybody loves. When you
meet people that are so friggin real you can't help but find
them a pleasure to be around. I think a lot of people that act
like a-holes or ****y and are not a pleasure to be around are doing
it out of fear of just being honest with themselves.

Now just because you become an honest genuine person does
not mean you're going to score with every chick BUT when
you do score it will be really solid I think.

Honesty really is an attractive quality because like you said people see that you are not afraid. When you lose the fear you shine.

 

[Mr. Bond]

Good thread. +rep.

 

[bookman]

well, shouldn't we be afraid of being too boring?

 

[MikeyDJ]

well yeah we should be afraid of being too boring...but instead of lying about what we're doing, we should be doing things that aren't boring...for me it's playing gigs/going to gigs or partying...if i'm not doing that I'm working or revising...might not be exciting, but it shows that ur not just sat at home doing jack ****. and the 3 first things can give you stories to tell, and are just fun in themselves. Just my 0.02

 

[Accension]

This is presented simply, but this is an advanced concept.
It introduces the idea that people hide behind a series of masks.
Tyler from RSD refers to it as a self defense mechanism: "She didn't reject the real me because I haven't shown her yet."

I can definitely see this messing up noobs.
For example, they might use it to rationalize not doing anything: "I'm too scared to approach her - I'm just being honest with myself!"
The truth might even hurt them.

However, what Huffman is getting at is identifying your strengths and weaknesses.
It's also presenting the real you to people, so consequentially, you're going to have more haters and lovers because you aren't trying to appease people.

The action part will be the hardest for everyone.
Good post Huffman.

 

[Bonafide]

Good post my man, I have been applying this technique for a while now...I said to myself instead of lying about what im doing...why dont I actually do ****? Ya know? Lol.

 

[Ease]

Good concept to touch.

Dont be honest to be a nice guy.
Be honest about things to show confidence. A DLV can be a DHV in this case.

Its never going to be a good idea to tell a girl straight up that you have no plans and no side-plates and no other options apart from her. But when someone asks you a question like this, sometimes its good to show you dont care instead of jumping through hoops to qualify yourself as a cool guy.

Honesty definitely shows confidence. As long as you arent being honest because you think that will impress someone, or because 'honesty will make people like you because people like genuine people'. Whoever said that needs to write articles for MSN dating blogs.

 

[Salvage]

Not a new concept, not a bad concept, books written about it, probably good for my soul, if I still have one...but try this...

After you are done with your week of honesty...try a week of complete and utterly outrageous lies. Make up **** and...when people try to bust you on your outrageous lies, make up more **** to cover it.

It's a metric asston of fun.



Caveat: You may not want to do this at work. But if you do...+2 pts.