Simple Conversation Extending

[DJohnson]

Many guys have trouble keeping a conversation flowing. They might not fear the approach but they dreadfully fear the ensuing convo. Well here is a little tip that should help you with that.

Principle: To keep a conversation going, hook onto something, onto anything just said by the person with whom you are speaking. Then say something about it. They will then do the same. Rinse, Repeat.

I see some posts where guys will say they opened a lady and they did not know what to say after she responded.

WHAT?

Here is a sample of something I just read:

me: Hello, so who are those pictures of?
her: My nephews, they live in Dallas, blah blah.

He then said he could not think of anything to say, and then ejected.

He was speaking with this lady because he had business to do with her boss, she is the secretary, but he is very interested in her.

He could have started 2 full conversations based on that ONE sentence of hers alone.

1. Texas

**him: Ahh yeah Texas is pretty cool, I visited there..blah blah blah

her: hehe yeah I know what you mean about the people in blah blah blah

**him: Ahh Texas is pretty nice I heard.
her: Yeah its great, nice weather, blah blah blah
him: Yeah, I like that kind of weather...when I lived in blah blah it was always so cold... blah blah blah

2. Newphews

**him: Ahh, I got 2 newphews of my own..You must be really close them.

her: yeah, blah blah blah ~~ rapport being established ~~


----

The conversation could then process to TOTALLY unrelated topics, it DOES NOT MATTER.

Good conversationalist, and women are much better than most men, doesn't care about what is being talked about as long as some rapport is gained. Your vonversation does not need to be outcome based, or logic based. It need not even be linear. In fact for social communication the more disjointed the better in most situations when first meeting someone( Not always of course. Some women are more inclined to linear thought that others ).

This technique allows you to keep the conversation going AND it allows you to LEAD the conversation. You aren't depending on luck here. You can eventually guide the discussion to things like clubs, going out, having fun, movies, music, art, whatever.

Think "Six Degrees of Seperation", but instead of 6 degrees between any two people, six degrees between any two topics.

Topic 1: Weather is nice
Topic 2: I dont like driving downtown in this weather
Topic 3: Good places to go downtown
Topic 4: Yeah thats a cool place, we go there form time to time
Topic 5: You have friends that go there? Lets all meet up there XYZ
Topic 6: Phone Exchange

Intuit

.

 

[hardwork]

Originally posted by DJohnson
Think "Six Degrees of Seperation", but instead of 6 degrees between any two people, six degrees between any two topics.

 

[bud_2005]

Yeah but what if you have never been to Texas and you don't have any nephews. Pretty hard to think of something to say from there.

 

[azn_alex]

umm wat u'll find is that these conversations are very "surface", and quite boring. if the girl sees someone she knows well, she'd rather be talking to them

be funny. dont be so serious and talk about these subjects. then wen u kno her a bit better and she has more rapport bcoz u made her laugh so much, she'll open up her personal details and feel closer to u

that is the definition of rapport. asking wat a girl's fav type of music is, or food, its crappy small talk and it'll make u seem boring

 

[DJohnson]

Azn_alex,

It's called fluff talk and its what you do if you have trobule findin g something to say, by all means be funny. Now go out there and get 'em boy!

 

[bud_2005]

That is what I am getting at. Those types of conversations are boring and noninteresting. I'm not comfortable talking about that kind of stuff because mostly I don't care enough to talk about that kind of stuff. I don't care enough about Texas or her nephews to ask her all these questions about it.

 

[silverwex]

i posted a tip nearly the exact same as this, it's title is 'nouning'.

 

[Heizen]

Originally posted by silverwex
i posted a tip nearly the exact same as this, it's title is 'nouning'.

I read that tip close to a year ago and still use it in convos. Much simpler in explaination.

Nouning > Simple conversation extending

 

[October]

Originally posted by azn_alex
umm wat u'll find is that these conversations are very "surface", and quite boring. if the girl sees someone she knows well, she'd rather be talking to them

be funny. dont be so serious and talk about these subjects. then wen u kno her a bit better and she has more rapport bcoz u made her laugh so much, she'll open up her personal details and feel closer to u

that is the definition of rapport. asking wat a girl's fav type of music is, or food, its crappy small talk and it'll make u seem boring

That's what I was thinking. All these conversation tips that get thrown out there...they don't really work, not to bash on the original poster. I read "Conversationally Speaking" a while back, and it did more harm than it did good. I tried using it, and I ended up boring the **** out of everyone I knew. People will usually continue these conversations to be polite, but unless you add something zesty, you won't get much further than politeness.

I think conversations are more about having fun with people than anything else. Along the way, you'll get to know them.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Guys, don't denounce the importance of being a good conversationalist to enhance your overall DJ skills. DJohnson is doing you guys a HUGE favor in laying out the framework of having an engaging conversation.

The problem with most guys is that unless it's a topic they know about, their contribution to conversations are EXTREMELY BORING! The way to combat that is yes... ASK QUESTIONS.

Yeah, I know, we've heard it all before and yeah, many conversations have ended in dead silence because you ran out of questions to ask. Again, BORING QUESTIONS! Stay away from boring questions, boring answers, boring topics, anything boring.

So how do you keep from being boring? Don't be cliché! Don't ask the first question that pops into your head, that's more than likely the easy, boring question. Take a couple of seconds to take that question and twist it into one that is more personal, more challenging, more figurative, more creative. Taking that moment will also help blanket AFC over eagerness and will give you the air of an intellectual, or at least a guy that doesn't just blurt out mutterings of useless verbiage (who, what was that...).

Enough can't be said about being varied in your interests, in being well read, well traveled or experienced in many things by some means or another. No, of course you can't cover every topic, but you can definitely cover many of the bases that is popular in your culture and season it with topics that aren't as well known.

Use these subjects as fillers, tangents, anecdotes, impressions or whatever during your conversations. Use them to help you date learn a bit about the original guy who's sharing a moment with her. Those are the things that will make your memorable, those are the things that will make you appreciated, those are the things that will help you be desired, if only for your interesting company.

 

[tactic]

some girls are not that responsive..

 

[bud_2005]

bump

 

[izza]

Originally posted by GodsGiftToWomen
Think about it man. He gave a great tip.

HB: I'm from Texas
GGTW: Oh really? I was thining about goin' there sometime. Where are cool places to visit in Texas?

You can think of anything to talk about.

Also good: "man, I'm never going to Texas. I hear it's nothing but hicks (pause), say where IS your cowboy hat?"

 

[DJohnson]

Originally posted by izza
Also good: "man, I'm never going to Texas. I hear it's nothing but hicks (pause), say where IS your cowboy hat?"

Nice, very nice. Guys inject as much of you into the framework as you want and as much humor. Remember its a framework. You gotta fill in the meat! ( Take that last sentence in ALL ways possible! Be positive bros! )

 

[yellowspeed]

Not sure if this is any help but one thing I learned as a cop about getting info from people is make your questions more open ended and allow the questionee to expand, for example if I was asking for a description of someone, instead of asking, "Was he black or white?" or " how tall was he?" I would just tell them to "Tell me about the robber" or "Tell me about what the robber looked like" usually people will give you more info than you wanted this way.

So applying that to chicks, instead of asking "What kinda music do you like" I'd say "So tell me about the music you listen to" Same question but the second way is more inviting to them to give more info than they would have the 1st way there for making your convo longer. Hope this helps.

 

[Duke]

Hey yellowspeed, that's a cool tip dude, thanks .

This is also cool, because you are making a statement instead of asking a question. It makes you appear more in control.

So tell me what it's like to be a cop...

jk hehe

 

[tactic]

2. Newphews

**him: Ahh, I got 2 newphews of my own..You must be really close them.

what's newphews?

 

[McKindley]

The only thing I would change about the original post is, don't say "texas is cool. I visited there once, blahblah blah."

Its all about getting HER talking, not YOU.

If she mentions texas and nephews, as her question about it. Don't just start talking about yourself.

"these are my two nephews in dallas"
"how often do you get to visit?"
"about twice a year"
"I've never been to Dallas, what's it like there?"

On just keep asking questions. If you have a funny story (and enough time to tell it) then go ahead. Just keep it light.

I think a lot of the guys who say this is "boring" are missing the point. The conversations you have with somone you just met aren't about solving riddles of the universe. They're about getting her comfortable being around you. And you being comfortable around her. And if you can make her laugh that's even better. In the early stages its not about being profound, its about getting familiar.

Do you really CARE about Dallas? Probably not, do you care about getting her acquainted with you, I hope so.

One of the coolest things I've ever read about conversation is one of the last chapters in Desmond Morris' "the naked ape."

He has really cool things to say about human behavior in general. I don't necessarily believe all of it, but its worth reading anyway.

 

[hardwork]

"newphews"

nephews*

 

[DJohnson]

I meant Nefertiti. Egyptian Queen.