Simple but powerful...ready for next level?

[DanelMadr]

This is written in the Rules book about dating...for women:

'If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity, run like the wind. Life is too short for boys.'

That book is also full of bull excrement. But that ^ is gold. We all know it, I hope.

NOW,

Ask yourself, are you secure enough to get rid of the games, plate spinning, escalating etc. can you be that secure Man, you act/pretend like one?

Are you sure about it? Or do you need constant reminder by hitting on everything that moves? Is it an act or are you the real deal?

How can that be achieved? How can I function without the crutches or shield?
Get rid of your complexes by being honest with yourself. In order to overcome the fear of future things and possible outcomes I propose this mindset....the blank mindset:

I just realized that I must live my life with the same attitude like when I throw a dart. You stress about the score, you focus too much on one thing like the stance...you f@ck up. You let go and just throw...you get good score. You know what I mean? TM (the rest is compiled knowledge of compiled knowledge of compiled knowledge, eckhart Tolle,....D.Angelo On Being a Man + RSD Blueprint bla bla.)

The hard part is conquering your ego, an false image of yourself, that your mind created in order to protect the insecure little boy. Funny thing is, that it protects you but totally screws up your life.

btw give me props or money....my new ego needs it, because now I am not a chump anymore nor a player, I am the guru.(sarcasm making fun of gurus who think they are Natural now and taken new identity of a guru)

Finally the PUAs and Gurus found the deep meaning behind all this. Give them some props for compiling the shyt. Be warned if you buy the books I mentioned...it is messy, and lot of it you already knew or at least suspected. And some of the veterans gave advice along with it, possibly not knowing the right psychobabble.
If you feel like your world is crumbling down, it is not. Just accept you was an idiot. When you feel real bad, seek help in therapy.

Good luck.

 

[DanelMadr]

No flame? No additional info? Come on, guys.

 

[vcumenina]

Get rid of the ego. Its ways are counterintuitive, and it will ruin your ability to meet women who actually have "something" to offer. A woman who is comfortable in her skin, who is attractive and sensual wants the same qualities in a male. No room for games.

 

[DanelMadr]

Get rid of the ego. Its ways are counterintuitive, and it will ruin your ability to meet women who actually have "something" to offer. A woman who is comfortable in her skin, who is attractive and sensual wants the same qualities in a male. No room for games.

Absolutely agree.

If you think about it, ego will screw you up and being counterintuitive gives it special twist. Interesting thing is that ego plays important role too...it helps you adapt the "public mind" like do not touch the power outlet or be nice to old people. It gives you identity before you can gain one and protects you.
It may be, that the problem arises when you go from being a son to being a man. These are totally different identities. However the shift does not occur visibly. Basically we wander around the issue, no shock therapy.

I know that seeking for approval is futile and wrong. But if we had that approval when becoming Man, I think then we would not need to seek it in adulthood. That seek for approval is void and pain. And ego does weird stuff to get around it. One has to approve himself in the end but I believe it would be much easier if approved by others first, at least formally.

 

[Mike32ct]

Clearly, too much ego causes a lot of problems that I needn't list here. But I would argue that SOME ego is necessary to succeed with women, business, fitness, and life in general. Ego is what drives people to acheive more. If you had no ego, you would just accept everything life gives you. I've never met a successful business or career person who didn't have an ego.

As far as the game goes, being TOTALLY unattached to the outcome won't work unless you are high value guy. What if you were short, ugly and poor but it didn't bother you because you had no ego? Would girls still flock to you just because of your Zen-like persona? I doubt it.

To the OP: I enjoy your posts. This is just some healthy disagreement. On the other hand, if you think I got way off track or don't fully understand the ego concept, feel free to say so .

 

[DanelMadr]

Clearly, too much ego causes a lot of problems that I needn't list here. But I would argue that SOME ego is necessary to succeed with women, business, fitness, and life in general. Ego is what drives people to acheive more. If you had no ego, you would just accept everything life gives you. I've never met a successful business or career person who didn't have an ego.

As far as the game goes, being TOTALLY unattached to the outcome won't work unless you are high value guy. What if you were short, ugly and poor but it didn't bother you because you had no ego? Would girls still flock to you just because of your Zen-like persona? I doubt it.

To the OP: I enjoy your posts. This is just some healthy disagreement. On the other hand, if you think I got way off track or don't fully understand the ego concept, feel free to say so .

Excellent point.
I would lie if I tell you I figured out this paradox completely but my thoughts are like this....
Ego is an excellent motivator. But it is double edge sword. It keeps you close minded, which actually makes your progress slower. Stories of excellent scientists who, after their break through, were stuck when someone came up with better idea.
In business the most successful people either enjoy the line of work or enjoy organizing the business and the tons of money seem as a byproduct.

I am not very ambitious person but when I started to get rid of the ego etc. (simple version) , it actually helped me to be more adventurous in a sense, that my hands are not tied by irrational doubts. In case of a person being very ambitious because of ego, getting rid of ego might be a problem but I believe for the better. Many of these people are actually dictators who bring terror to other peoples minds.
Moderation and balance is the key. Being a monk meditating all day long is an option but I guess it is a little bit selfish option. Making the world a better place sounds to me better.

Having money is fine, because it gives you and your children freedom in life. Passion don't have to be ridden by ego, quite the opposite.

In absolute terms....One day people will have to leave this planet, maybe because of dying sun, so development is necessary. Wars will occur, because there is no shortage of azzholes in every generation, so cultivating our warrior qualities is still a good idea.
So being a flower wearing, poor hippie is actually pretty selfish.
Some might say, that our entire universe might come to an end one day anyway, so why try at all? But I tell them, they are being selfish. The unborn children deserve to experience life.

By cultivating a sense of duty for this world, we can have "ambition" not driven by ego. You can aspire to be a scientist, clerk or whatever and be the best, not to shyt on others or to pull tons of chicks by status, but because you enjoy it or you are good at it and you make the world better place....be it your village or entire world.

As men we should strive for mental balance and still staying men. There is no reason to become sexless, ambition-less monk seeking enlightenment, unless you feel that is your purpose in life.
Again, I believe the ambition and passion is still there even if you try to live your life not influenced by your ego. it is actually better for you get better results and not disappointed in the end.

Edit> One more thing...the non attachment to outcome is not 'I do not care' but simply 'I have no fear'. I will grieve but it won't strike me to the bone. When a fear ties our hands or hinders our aim, then we should control him. We can be aware of the fear, reminding us to live, but we shouldn't make sacrifices to the fear. Fear does not help.
The same with grieve (or other emotions). It is absolutely OK to weep for dead love ones but we shouldn't make that grieving part of ourselves to f@ck up our life. Not making our identity out of it like 'I am an orphan, feel sorry for me.' Know what I mean?

 

[richboy10]

excellent.. nice..

 

[nimfajoy]

Clearly, too much ego causes a lot of problems that I needn't list here. But I would argue that SOME ego is necessary to succeed with women, business, fitness, and life in general. Ego is what drives people to acheive more. If you had no ego, you would just accept everything life gives you. I've never met a successful business or career person who didn't have an ego.

As far as the game goes, being TOTALLY unattached to the outcome won't work unless you are high value guy. What if you were short, ugly and poor but it didn't bother you because you had no ego? Would girls still flock to you just because of your Zen-like persona? I doubt it.

To the OP: I enjoy your posts. This is just some healthy disagreement. On the other hand, if you think I got way off track or don't fully understand the ego concept, feel free to say so .

very interesting, hehe

 

[editdivide]

Really great post, DanelMadr.

I have really found the essence of what it is like to be a self actualized being.

Getting rid of ego is the essence of a great seducer. Even that is a label that is useless. Just get rid of the ego.

 

[ions]

You need a little bit of Ego in this reality to protect yourself otherwise the manipulative people will completely take advantage of you.

Balance is Key.

 

[nimfajoy]

very interesting, hehe

oops. double post. love internet

 

[DanelMadr]

You need a little bit of Ego in this reality to protect yourself otherwise the manipulative people will completely take advantage of you.

Balance is Key.

Nope. Not having ego does not mean to be a pushover or non-reactive.
You still can flip someone. You just do it having another motivation. Purer one, that is. You tell them to "f@ck off" because they are trying to use you, not because it touches your need of respect.

You would be surprised, how being calm is so much better deterrent than being angry, especially in a fight. And it makes your moves more precise.