Signs that she's definitely interested?

[StoneZA]

Hi guys,

This might probably come off sounding daft, but I just wanted to verify a couple of basics with you guys about a girl I met recently. I met her through my church and we have support group gatherings for people of a similar age every week.

Since I've met her for the first time, I could tell there was something about her that really attracted me to her. I'm quite a silent guy, don't talk that much and she's like the complete opposite of me. Each week we have our gathering at a different person's house in the group and it's been twice that I've been to her place as part of the group.

The first time I didn't really notice it, but on the second gathering at her place I started noticing something. She offered us some drinks and asked who is going to help her in the kitchen, without any hesitation I decided that I would assist her (she was quite surprised and said normally a girl is supposed to help but I smiled and said I don't mind helping).

After we finished eating/drinking I offered to collect the majority of the people's plates including her's and she complimented me on being so kind.

Right after this, during the rest of the evening, I noticed that she was making frequent eye contact with me when she was talking to us as a group. When she laughs, she always looks at me while she laughs and makes like 2-3 seconds eye contact and looks away. This cycle repeated itself up and till I left.

Since then, she immediately grabbed my attention and I started chatting to her via Whatsapp.Not frequently, we chatted the one Tuesday afternoon and only Friday evening for a brief period. During these talks she also shared something personal with me, which I didn't have a clue about and she basically laughed at the majority of things when I said something.

Two days ago, I decided to take a chance and ask her out for coffee. Even before I could properly finish my sentence she immediately said yes and mentioned that it would be nice. She also asked me earlier in the day on Whatsapp if I knew where our next gathering was, so she is definitely trying to make contact just by asking me something simple, even though she could find that info on our facebook group.

She asked if I could give her a lift to the next gathering we had tonight and I obviously said yes, opened the car door for her when I went to pick her up and she complimented me by saying, I'm so decent. Throughout the evening it was basically a rinse and repeat of the other evening, making extreme amounts of occasional eye contact when talking and laughing / glancing in my direction every 15-30 seconds (if not less). She even brought up my name twice during conversations too.

Just a couple of questions, based on everything I told you guys:

1) Would you also agree with me that there is definitely interest from her side?

2) Should I offer to pick her up again?

I know the majority of girls don't like it when a guy can't make decisions or let them decide what to do, so I intend on being the lion, hunting my prey and telling her what we're going to do, but don't want to impose either.

Either way, I'm super stoked about this girl, I'm turning 30 in 1 day's time and she's 27, so definitely a mature girl that I wouldn't mind having at my side

 

[st_99]

Either way, I'm super stoked about this girl,

careful, this could be your demise. Whatever you do, dont put her on a pedastal bro. Escalate, but no pedastal crap!

 

[Werman]

1) Would you also agree with me that there is definitely interest from her side?

I would say so. What happened on your coffee date? Isolate and see if she shows even more interest when you're alone with her.

2) Should I offer to pick her up again?

No. In fact, if she asks, I might even find some reason to not be available to pick her up.

 

[StoneZA]

I would say so. What happened on your coffee date? Isolate and see if she shows even more interest when you're alone with her.

Had my coffee date this morning and it went really well. All the classic signs were there, shoulders pointing towards me, mimicking body posture, playing with her ear ring and her hair, if I touched my mouth, she'd do the same and to top it off, she gave me a huge hug from her side when we departed our own separate way at the end of the date.

 

[scrouds]

A hug! Hot fuucking damn.

 

[bish0p]

A hug! Hot fuucking damn.

No, it was a HUGE hug......from her *side.*

Edit: I read this before, but wasn't going to say anything due to different cultures (I'm from the U.S., so I don't know if things are the same in South Africa), but really...you're excited over a hug?

Why didn't you try to kiss her or escalate? If she was doing all the things you said, she was yours for the taking. Remember, if a girl is not trying to ditch you, then she's having a good time and is waiting on you to escalate.

 

[StoneZA]

No, it was a HUGE hug......from her *side.*

Edit: I read this before, but wasn't going to say anything due to different cultures (I'm from the U.S., so I don't know if things are the same in South Africa), but really...you're excited over a hug?

Why didn't you try to kiss her or escalate? If she was doing all the things you said, she was yours for the taking. Remember, if a girl is not trying to ditch you, then she's having a good time and is waiting on you to escalate.

Jeez guys, it was just a first date for crying out loud. I'm not the type of guy just to impose / force my will on kissing her straight of the bat. She's a decent gal, I'm a decent guy. We really have a very different culture from you guys.

I didn't really think it would've been appropriate to kiss her. I'm not planning on getting her into bed or anything or trying to score with her in less than 48 hours. I have integrity and I respect her.

That's another thing that I hate about this forum. I always think things are going well and then there would always be people here that try and disrespect my way for doing something. On the next date I'll up the ante and definitely include a kiss, but I tend not to push things so quickly on the first date.

 

[betheman]

Jeez guys, it was just a first date for crying out loud. I'm not the type of guy just to impose / force my will on kissing her straight of the bat. She's a decent gal, I'm a decent guy. We really have a very different culture from you guys...

The point is, women expect you to try it on, its almost perverse, if you dont, its almost as if she thinks there is a) something wrong with you or b) there is something wrong with her! neither is good.
plus, if she stops you and says no, its apretty sure sign she isnt that into you, then you can cut your losses and move on, if she is into you, then bingo!

 

[Married Buried]

The point is, women expect you to try it on, its almost perverse, if you dont, its almost as if she thinks there is a) something wrong with you or b) there is something wrong with her! neither is good.
plus, if she stops you and says no, its apretty sure sign she isnt that into you, then you can cut your losses and move on, if she is into you, then bingo!

I'm not sure about this. I tried to kiss my wife on the first date but she gave me the cheek. I wasn't happy about it but she still kept contact every day.

It wasn't until the 5th date she let me kiss her. And that is only because I dumped her after the 4th date for not giving me a kiss.

But at least I tried to kiss her on the first date. Maybe that has an effect.

 

[scrouds]

Jeez guys, it was just a first date for crying out loud. I'm not the type of guy just to impose / force my will on kissing her straight of the bat. She's a decent gal, I'm a decent guy. We really have a very different culture from you guys.

I didn't really think it would've been appropriate to kiss her. I'm not planning on getting her into bed or anything or trying to score with her in less than 48 hours. I have integrity and I respect her.

That's another thing that I hate about this forum. I always think things are going well and then there would always be people here that try and disrespect my way for doing something. On the next date I'll up the ante and definitely include a kiss, but I tend not to push things so quickly on the first date.

Open your mind if you want to learn from us. This defensiveness isn't going to get you anywhere.

 

[betheman]

I'm not sure about this. I tried to kiss my wife on the first date but she gave me the cheek. I wasn't happy about it but she still kept contact every day.

It wasn't until the 5th date she let me kiss her. And that is only because I dumped her after the 4th date for not giving me a kiss.

But at least I tried to kiss her on the first date. Maybe that has an effect.

she LET YOU KISS HER on the 5th date????? how old were you at the time? how much dating had you under your belt?

sorry but that is messed up. you see what happened? you dumped her. next time, she comes up with the kiss?
does she swallow?

 

[Married Buried]

she LET YOU KISS HER on the 5th date????? how old were you at the time? how much dating had you under your belt?

sorry but that is messed up. you see what happened? you dumped her. next time, she comes up with the kiss?
does she swallow?

The age is in the profile. I know exactly what happened. I dumped her and then she came around. I kissed her and banged her after I dumped her.

Now I am married to her. Ofcourse she swallows.

 

[goodfoot]

Malice, I'm curious what specifically you said when you dumped her. I get into this situation where chicks will continue to date me but block my advances when I try to kiss them. I usually just next them without saying anything but it would be nice to be able to salvage the situation.

 

[Married Buried]

Malice, I'm curious what specifically you said when you dumped her. I get into this situation where chicks will continue to date me but block my advances when I try to kiss them. I usually just next them without saying anything but it would be nice to be able to salvage the situation.

We were in the parking lot of the restaurant and when she gave me the cheek I said "whatever. I don't think this is working out"

then I got in my car and left. After 2 days she was calling. We went out again and I never got the cheek again.

 

[FairShake]

Sounds interested to me. But why are you asking us? Why not show some interest back or, shock of shocks, ask her out?

Then you'll know.

 

[konmai]

when she consistently has sex with you, then she's definitely interested.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Jeez guys, it was just a first date for crying out loud. I'm not the type of guy just to impose / force my will on kissing her straight of the bat. She's a decent gal, I'm a decent guy. We really have a very different culture from you guys.

I didn't really think it would've been appropriate to kiss her. I'm not planning on getting her into bed or anything or trying to score with her in less than 48 hours. I have integrity and I respect her.

That's another thing that I hate about this forum. I always think things are going well and then there would always be people here that try and disrespect my way for doing something. On the next date I'll up the ante and definitely include a kiss, but I tend not to push things so quickly on the first date.

You never know. From what you've posted it seems like she's into you.

Call her up, make some small talk and ask her out again.

Look into her eyes, smile at her, ask her questions (chicks love to talk), try holding her hand and leading her, hold open doors for her (though not because you're trying to impress her but just because it's something you do) as she walks through follow right behind her and put your hand on the small of her back. If she plays with or touches her hair thats a good sign. Just wait until you feel the time is right and go for a soft kiss and pull away first to tease her a bit, smile and look in her eyes.

Your culture is most likely different so forget all the negative nonsense on here and do you. Learn from your experiences and grow from them. She may be the type to appreciate a good guy. Just don't take too long to make moves or she may think something is wrong with her or you.

 

[rum]

when she consistently has sex with you, then she's definitely interested.

couldn't be further from the truth

she could be screwing 5 other guys and stalking out 4-5 more via facebook or text messages

When she talks to her friends about wanting to get married to you, starting a family with you, moving in together, growing old together etc then you're fairly "safe" but even then you can't trust a woman.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

couldn't be further from the truth

she could be screwing 5 other guys and stalking out 4-5 more via facebook or text messages

When she talks to her friends about wanting to get married to you, starting a family with you, moving in together, growing old together etc then you're fairly "safe" but even then you can't trust a woman.

You are correct sir. Though my previous ex was talking wanting to marry me and even had her friends at times ambush me telling me: "I want you to marry my friend".

I knew her family history, and after I had one 'laying hands' issue from her (which I told her was the LAST time it would happen and she wound up taking a few swings at me a year later for the second and LAST time. I took off without ever contacting her again.

Like you've said. Even then be fully aware of any red flags and don't dismiss them because you are in 'love' with the thought of being in love and possibly getting married.

I would eventually like to get married to the right girl. But if not I'll stay single, sane, and live my life.

 

[bugsquish]

I'd say just keep doing what you're doing. Sounds like you're pacing it well. The clue is in the church part, it makes sense to escalate a bit slower than some here might recommend. So long as you do escalate. You can still escalate physical contact without it being noticably sexually agressive. You seem to know what signs to look out for and that she is interested so keep it up.