Signs and behaviors when dating or in a relationship that she is craaaazzzyyy

[jnMissouri]

I'll post a separate thread about the details of my situation with this girl I've been dating and became a couple together with for the past 7 months.

But I want to see what red flags did you see when dating and getting to know her and also as far as her behavior during the relationship that you realize she was just chaos/crazy? I'm asking before I tell the details of my story with her so that I don't bias you. From what I've read online, she matches the behavior of a crazy girl. Also identical to two ex's. I mean not just the chaos, but the crazy ones all had troubles sleeping at night even with a handful of sleeping pills.

I will just say that she had tattoos that were skulls, the word "mess", pistols, etc. She had been divorced 4 times by 36. Like Chase Amante says in hist hot/crazy girls are easier article, they will be super available, wear their hearts on their sleeves, pursue you, etc. I wondered why she was soooo much different than other girls chasing me but the same as two other ex's. I read a couple Chase Amante articles last couple days and they fit my situation to a freaking T!

We were very lovey dovey, but she was chaos. She said I was too, claimed I was bipolar, borderline personality. One day I was she was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, the next she was bad, etc. Same the other way around. We were up and down every few days the last few months. If things were calm she would cause drama to start a fight and feel those powerful emotions. It was chaos. I think she was histrionic like a couple other exe's. Talk to me...I'm not sure this is the place for relationship advice but I'll give it a shot. I'll post a separate thread depending on how this one goes with all the chaos she put me through. I'm just in a really bad place right now (hurting) and blaming myself despite all the red flags, so please try not to beat me up over this.

 

[jaymbrs]

I don't really have any advice for you since it's never worked out between me and the crazy bitches I've dated. However I can tell you some can get you into some serious trouble. I'm to the point where I threaten to call the police on them before they do it to me for something they can make up. You're going to also find that you're arguing with literally someone who is falsifying stuff just to argue. It won't make sense and you'll be wasting your time. It'll be a revolving door.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Here’s the list:

- very few friends and the ones she does have will be guys who she describes in a way that makes them sounds like they’re in HER fanclub. Also, she’ll have no long term friendships. Her friends will consist of those who have been within her proximity over the past several months/year, i.e. a new job or CrossFit class, etc.

- she’ll be very agressive in wanting to spend time with you. ZERO boundaries. for example I dated a nutter a while ago who the first time she came over to my place refused to leave! Not even in a mean way. It was something to the effect of “let me sleep here for a few hours and then I’ll leave”.

- self harm. Look for strange bruises, cuts and scars on her body. For this reason she’ll wear a lot of long sleeved outfits even in the summer. Couple that with random comments from time to time about wanting to kill her self or not planning on living long, even if said in a joking manner, and you’re for sure dealing with a nut.

- she’ll be very skilled in the bedroom. She’ll suck you off and happily slurp it all up with a technique that rivals what you see in hardcore porno. Also, when she’s on top she’ll ride the D in a way that’ll have you mesmerized.

- she’ll have very low self esteem but will also be very attractive. How could this be you ask? She’s nuts.

- raging. She’ll have a tempor that will literally scare you the first time you see it. If you’re dumb enough to stick around, as I was, this temper will become more and more violent - even behind the scenes - which is most insidious because it really messes with your head. Think broken sh*t in your apartment or silverware strategically “placed” on your car. “Did she actually do this? Maybe I’m losing my mind?” You’ll wonder. I legit came home from work one day, on a day after she had spent the night, and found a turd still in the toilet from that morning. I would never leave something like that in the toilet in the morning when a woman who spent the night was still there. Or would I? See? It’s subtle enough but WEIRD enough that your brain can’t make sense of it.

- and here’s the biggest one of them all. She’ll have two different personalities. Think jekle and Hyde. Often times crazy women appear to be the sweetest most kind woman you’ve ever met. That’s why when the raging and violent behavior starts your brain literally can’t process it. “How could someone so sweet and kind and caring get this upset!?” Your brain will ask. “I must have caused this!” You’ll think. But it’s not you. It’s her. She’s insane. Run as far away as you can and don’t look back. Ever.

 

[Epic Days]

I work out myself and my issues. Basically what made her think that it was ok to act that way with me? Women always know exactly what they are doing when it comes to men.
I generally found the problem to be inside me and not inside them.

 

[Anna_shy]

Either woman or man can be strange!

 

[Robert28]

If you start hearing her tell you how bad all her exes treated her and how she needs a nice guy like you.....run. Run like hell! She’s basically telling you she can’t be in a relationship that isn’t all about drama and while you’re a nice change for the time being, she will get bored with you quickly. These girls enjoy being in toxic relationships because they themselves are toxic.

 

[jnMissouri]

If you start hearing her tell you how bad all her exes treated her and how she needs a nice guy like you.....run. Run like hell! She’s basically telling you she can’t be in a relationship that isn’t all about drama and while you’re a nice change for the time being, she will get bored with you quickly. These girls enjoy being in toxic relationships because they themselves are toxic.

I agree with you, she did seem to enjoy it, the arguments and ups/downs. Actually she accused me of having BPD, said that one day I talked like she was the greatest thing that happened to me, the next I talked to her like she was the worst woman on Earth. Of course it was because we had fights as we got to know each other. I found out about her past and she did weird stuff sometimes. So I wasn't the nice guy to her. In fact, the relationship ebbed and flowed. I'd start a fight about something important to me in the relationship, then we'd work it out and things were calm for a day or two. Then she would start a fight about something. We'd argue, resolve it eventually, then go back to calm for a day or two. It was this constant ebb and flow of fighting. And we took turns each time. It's like both of us needed it. I actually enjoyed it for a while. And so did she. But then things got too intense. We got too jealous and started hurting each other verbally. She reminded me of 2 ex's that were the same; chaos at ever turn. Didn't know how to be a gf most of the time. HOW this chic was married for years at a time (most were short lived) was beyond me. Except one theory is that her ex's that kept her the longest were also crazy. She described them as narcissists.

 

[Sunnypoo]

Drinking and drugs - especially coke, there is just something about coke that draws on the crazies heartstrings.

...and then when she rages to the point of pulling a gun out of your nightstand and pointing it at you...then pulling the trigger...and you thank god that you store them unloaded. True story.

 

[jnMissouri]

Drinking and drugs - especially coke, there is just something about coke that draws on the crazies heartstrings.

...and then when she rages to the point of pulling a gun out of your nightstand and pointing it at you...then pulling the trigger...and you thank god that you store them unloaded. True story.

She actually told me a story from her 20's where her guy friend, long time guy friend had borrowed her truck and he stopped by and she asked him to leave. He punched her in the face and she pulled a gun on him or something like that, she might have pulled the gun first, I don't recall. Neighbors call cops, he told her keep her mouth shut. She did. He didn't. She got arrested on a felony charge. Later dropped....

I just don't understand how she was so sweeeeet in the beginning.

 

[btownbuck2012]

She actually told me a story from her 20's where her guy friend, long time guy friend had borrowed her truck and he stopped by and she asked him to leave. He punched her in the face and she pulled a gun on him or something like that, she might have pulled the gun first, I don't recall. Neighbors call cops, he told her keep her mouth shut. She did. He didn't. She got arrested on a felony charge. Later dropped....

I just don't understand how she was so sweeeeet in the beginning.

Bro that’s cause she PROVOKED him to act that way. These types are amazing at mind f*cking a guy until he loses his sh*t and reacts violently. It’s literally how they clear their name after each guy they ruin. As soon as he reacts, they shout “look he’s crazy! He won’t leave me alone and can’t move on!”. They are legit evil dude.

All their crazy stories they tell you is them having provoked someone into acting. They of course leave out the part about how they caused it.....

 

[Sunnypoo]

She actually told me a story from her 20's where her guy friend, long time guy friend had borrowed her truck and he stopped by and she asked him to leave. He punched her in the face and she pulled a gun on him or something like that, she might have pulled the gun first, I don't recall. Neighbors call cops, he told her keep her mouth shut. She did. He didn't. She got arrested on a felony charge. Later dropped....

I just don't understand how she was so sweeeeet in the beginning.

She was selling you a bill of goods, they all do. Crazy ones like to amp it up and get the adrenaline going, they are drugs for guys like us. The fun and exciting hot girls are hard to give up because who wants to get off the fun rides?

 

[Crosstimbers Okie]

I'll post a separate thread about the details of my situation with this girl I've been dating and became a couple together with for the past 7 months.

But I want to see what red flags did you see when dating and getting to know her and also as far as her behavior during the relationship that you realize she was just chaos/crazy? I'm asking before I tell the details of my story with her so that I don't bias you. From what I've read online, she matches the behavior of a crazy girl. Also identical to two ex's. I mean not just the chaos, but the crazy ones all had troubles sleeping at night even with a handful of sleeping pills.

I will just say that she had tattoos that were skulls, the word "mess", pistols, etc. She had been divorced 4 times by 36. Like Chase Amante says in hist hot/crazy girls are easier article, they will be super available, wear their hearts on their sleeves, pursue you, etc. I wondered why she was soooo much different than other girls chasing me but the same as two other ex's. I read a couple Chase Amante articles last couple days and they fit my situation to a freaking T!

We were very lovey dovey, but she was chaos. She said I was too, claimed I was bipolar, borderline personality. One day I was she was the greatest thing that ever happened to me, the next she was bad, etc. Same the other way around. We were up and down every few days the last few months. If things were calm she would cause drama to start a fight and feel those powerful emotions. It was chaos. I think she was histrionic like a couple other exe's. Talk to me...I'm not sure this is the place for relationship advice but I'll give it a shot. I'll post a separate thread depending on how this one goes with all the chaos she put me through. I'm just in a really bad place right now (hurting) and blaming myself despite all the red flags, so please try not to beat me up over this.

Get far, far away from her or you will regret it.

 

[Spaz]

Boring dudes are attracted to crazies because they fulfill that need for excitement you lack in your own lives.

Do random exciting stuff and you'd attract the opposite as they are the ones needing what's lacking in their lives.

Here's your answer to all your problems gents.

Easy.

 

[jnMissouri]

Bro that’s cause she PROVOKED him to act that way. These types are amazing at mind f*cking a guy until he loses his sh*t and reacts violently. It’s literally how they clear their name after each guy they ruin. As soon as he reacts, they shout “look he’s crazy! He won’t leave me alone and can’t move on!”. They are legit evil dude.

All their crazy stories they tell you is them having provoked someone into acting. They of course leave out the part about how they caused it.....

Yep....It's funny with all her failed marriages/relationships she said they all painted her black but they are really the crazy ones. She would also say I get there are two sides to every story but that she is the rare person that tells it like it is. Yeah, I'm sure....

Tempted to reach out to her ex husband, the last one and see what stories he tells. I feel like I'm opening pandora's box though if I do. And I think I already know the answer.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Yep....It's funny with all her failed marriages/relationships she said they all painted her black but they are really the crazy ones. She would also say I get there are two sides to every story but that she is the rare person that tells it like it is. Yeah, I'm sure....

Tempted to reach out to her ex husband, the last one and see what stories he tells. I feel like I'm opening pandora's box though if I do. And I think I already know the answer.

It’s important to understand that everything you’re doing is literally carbon copy by the book of what guys do that get ran over by these women. For example your idea about reaching out to her ex husband. Don’t do it. Trust me, you cant see the forest through the trees because you personally are in the thick of it. But trust the guys on this forum who have been through. Until you completely block her and set it in your mind that you are completely done with her; you’re still giving her the opportunity to really hurt you. It’s like a quarterback leaving his wide receiver open across the middle. You’ve seen those type of hits, right? The receiver gets blindsided. You are the receiver, her neurosis is the ball, the quarterback is your idea that she can still change and actually love you and SHE is the linebacker/safety/cornerback waiting to impale you. Trust me. Go strict no contact and be done with it. You can’t beat her. No normal human being can.

 

[jnMissouri]

It’s important to understand that everything you’re doing is literally carbon copy by the book of what guys do that get ran over by these women. For example your idea about reaching out to her ex husband. Don’t do it. Trust me, you cant see the forest through the trees because you personally are in the thick of it. But trust the guys on this forum who have been through. Until you completely block her and set it in your mind that you are completely done with her; you’re still giving her the opportunity to really hurt you. It’s like a quarterback leaving his wide receiver open across the middle. You’ve seen those type of hits, right? The receiver gets blindsided. You are the receiver, her neurosis is the ball, the quarterback is your idea that she can still change and actually love you and SHE is the linebacker/safety/cornerback waiting to impale you. Trust me. Go strict no contact and be done with it. You can’t beat her. No normal human being can.

Yeah. I really need to stay away from her. The more I got to know her the louder that bell got. Even the first date I was shocked to see skull tattoo's on one arm, flowers on another and later on I saw the pistols on her lower stomach and the word mess on her arm. It was like she was warning the world that she was a mess. One arms tattoo's represented her sweet side (flowers) the other her dark side (skulls). Four failed marriages, kids who don't live with her, no money (claimed she never asked her ex husbands for crap in divorces....that might be true I don't know. I don't think just because someone is crazy that they wouldn't get their half of community property.

 

[jnMissouri]

It’s important to understand that everything you’re doing is literally carbon copy by the book of what guys do that get ran over by these women. For example your idea about reaching out to her ex husband. Don’t do it. Trust me, you cant see the forest through the trees because you personally are in the thick of it. But trust the guys on this forum who have been through. Until you completely block her and set it in your mind that you are completely done with her; you’re still giving her the opportunity to really hurt you. It’s like a quarterback leaving his wide receiver open across the middle. You’ve seen those type of hits, right? The receiver gets blindsided. You are the receiver, her neurosis is the ball, the quarterback is your idea that she can still change and actually love you and SHE is the linebacker/safety/cornerback waiting to impale you. Trust me. Go strict no contact and be done with it. You can’t beat her. No normal human being can.

By the way thank you so much for all this. I can't do this without help. I knew I should have pulled the needle out of my arm long ago and even discussed with people at work. They all agreed. I told them I know but I just can't do it because she is so hot and the sex was so good.

 

[jnMissouri]

Here’s the list:

- very few friends and the ones she does have will be guys who she describes in a way that makes them sounds like they’re in HER fanclub. Also, she’ll have no long term friendships. Her friends will consist of those who have been within her proximity over the past several months/year, i.e. a new job or CrossFit class, etc.

- she’ll be very agressive in wanting to spend time with you. ZERO boundaries. for example I dated a nutter a while ago who the first time she came over to my place refused to leave! Not even in a mean way. It was something to the effect of “let me sleep here for a few hours and then I’ll leave”.

- self harm. Look for strange bruises, cuts and scars on her body. For this reason she’ll wear a lot of long sleeved outfits even in the summer. Couple that with random comments from time to time about wanting to kill her self or not planning on living long, even if said in a joking manner, and you’re for sure dealing with a nut.

- she’ll be very skilled in the bedroom. She’ll suck you off and happily slurp it all up with a technique that rivals what you see in hardcore porno. Also, when she’s on top she’ll ride the D in a way that’ll have you mesmerized.

- she’ll have very low self esteem but will also be very attractive. How could this be you ask? She’s nuts.

- raging. She’ll have a tempor that will literally scare you the first time you see it. If you’re dumb enough to stick around, as I was, this temper will become more and more violent - even behind the scenes - which is most insidious because it really messes with your head. Think broken sh*t in your apartment or silverware strategically “placed” on your car. “Did she actually do this? Maybe I’m losing my mind?” You’ll wonder. I legit came home from work one day, on a day after she had spent the night, and found a turd still in the toilet from that morning. I would never leave something like that in the toilet in the morning when a woman who spent the night was still there. Or would I? See? It’s subtle enough but WEIRD enough that your brain can’t make sense of it.

- and here’s the biggest one of them all. She’ll have two different personalities. Think jekle and Hyde. Often times crazy women appear to be the sweetest most kind woman you’ve ever met. That’s why when the raging and violent behavior starts your brain literally can’t process it. “How could someone so sweet and kind and caring get this upset!?” Your brain will ask. “I must have caused this!” You’ll think. But it’s not you. It’s her. She’s insane. Run as far away as you can and don’t look back. Ever.

She had all of this. No suicide attempts that I'm aware of but she said she knows she will die young and pretty.

 

[btownbuck2012]

She had all of this. No suicide attempts that I'm aware of but she said she knows she will die young and pretty.

It’s mindblowing how similar the stories are. Truly.

 

[jnMissouri]

It’s mindblowing how similar the stories are. Truly.

So you have been through this too? Directly?

Other things that are eerily similar between this girl and other ex's: artsy, like to paint, can't sleep, even with half a bottle of sleeping pills. All have almost nothing but male friends.

The good thing is I'm focusing on healing AND now that I see a pattern between this one and some other ex's I'm learning how to spot them and avoid them right away.