Sighs...here we go again. "Where are all the good black men"

[f283000]

Wow i didn't know there were so many brothers in here!

My only questions to the brothers here is, do you have knowledge of self?

If you don't know what this refers to then you don't. I can help you out, send me a pm.

 

[macagent]

Wow i didn't know there were so many brothers in here!

My only questions to the brothers here is, do you have knowledge of self?

If you don't know what this refers to then you don't. I can help you out, send me a pm.

yo. we all brothers, regardless of skin color.

 

[f283000]

yo. we all brothers, regardless of skin color.

Knowledge of self is a term exclusive to the black conscious community. If they're conscious they should know what i'm talking about.

And no I am not black.

 

[Von_S]

yo. we all brothers, regardless of skin color.

Not quite, not trying to hate or stir **** up, but if you're walking down the street and see another well put together man quite similar to yourself do you make eye contact and acknowledge each other? Every white person I've told this doesn't seem to understand that there is an unspoken understanding amongst black men with their **** right, its a respect thing, an "I see you brotha, keep your head up" thing. Maybe I'm overstating it.

 

[backbreaker]

Not quite, not trying to hate or stir **** up, but if you're walking down the street and see another well put together man quite similar to yourself do you make eye contact and acknowledge each other? Every white person I've told this doesn't seem to understand that there is an unspoken understanding amongst black men with their **** right, its a respect thing, an "I see you brotha, keep your head up" thing. Maybe I'm overstating it.

yeah i think you are.

I'm of the morgan freeman school of race relations

 

[macagent]

Not quite, not trying to hate or stir **** up, but if you're walking down the street and see another well put together man quite similar to yourself do you make eye contact and acknowledge each other?

It's all good. I was expecting a response, but I love the discourse and other informed perspectives on topics like this, so bring it To answer the question, yes, regardless of skin color, I give those that strike me eye contact and a hello/hey/sup/head-nod. Whether they give it back is the interesting part. And I'll agree that it's mostly brown folks who respond, and usually respond favorably.

Every white person I've told this doesn't seem to understand that there is an unspoken understanding amongst black men with their **** right, its a respect thing, an "I see you brotha, keep your head up" thing. Maybe I'm overstating it.

Well, you haven't talked to me yet. It's a fantastic thing to have that kind of camaraderie with "your people", I just don't believe that "my people" are identifiable based on their skin or racial background. Is every black dude your brother? For certain, every white dude is not my brother. It's more a state of being to me, which can often be seen in the other persons response to interaction, be it eye-contact, greeting, and/or conversation.

slight rant incoming -
I could never understand why people cut themselves off from each-other just based on their skin. Maybe I'm naive, but it seems to me all these things that are supposed to be "exclusive" to one group or another, are actually just a means of separating us from one another. If you are truly conscious, does it matter what color your skin is? And does it matter what color anyone else's is? Perhaps this behavior was useful at one time, but is this really something that still serves us today? I would say no.

Shouldn't we base our "communities" on our like interests and ethical beliefs, not on how we can be different? Like this forum, for example, is a fantastic illustration of how men with common interests and experiences have come together to support one another regardless of race or culture. We are brothers here and in the world, and if we actually want a change of the current social paradigm, we will have to get past this racially exclusivity stuff, so those that think as one can also move together as one.

just sayin'

 

[perseverance]

I'm pretty sure Latino, White and Black American Marines are brothers especially when they are getting RPG's launched at them by those Talib M*therf*ckers in the Ghan.

 

[Kirro]

Young black guy here, of all my lays, its been white, mixed or light skinned, very few darkies there. I don't know if I've been conditioned to favour women of lighter complexion/women of other races but very few dark females appeal to me. I'm well spoken & use proper sentence structure. I am in no way a thug but I'm not a wimp either, I have absolutely no trouble attracting ghetto black women of any age but I run for the hills the second one shows interest because of the insane drama they cause.

I can barely tolerate the normal drama from other girls, no way in hell I'm putting up with ghetto drama.

As for race? I'm with macagent. At best, skin colour only matters if you somehow fit some stereotype.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

These women are often getting knocked up by the wrong guy, and left being the single mom.

Lol, then the guy she cheated on is stuck taking care of his wife's bastard child. And if he doesn't, THEN HE'S A DEADBEAT LOSER!

Did anyone else realize how they didn't even bother to do the statistics of the women in this study? Why the hell would a well-put together, professional, successful black man choose a partner who might be over weight, unintelligent, and with a menial job?

They don't even bother to do the statistics of the women. What a stupid study. If they did the numbers would probably correlate a lot better. These dating websites just need to make their money.

 

[Von_S]

Shouldn't we base our "communities" on our like interests and ethical beliefs, not on how we can be different? Like this forum, for example, is a fantastic illustration of how men with common interests and experiences have come together to support one another regardless of race or culture. We are brothers here and in the world, and if we actually want a change of the current social paradigm, we will have to get past this racially exclusivity stuff, so those that think as one can also move together as one.

I couldn't agree more, fact of the matter is when you look different people treat you differently. It's a human characteristic to identify patterns and differences. Frankly I have much more in common with the average white suburbanite than I do a black guy from the "inner-city"; problem is (for better or worse) my physical appearances lead people to think otherwise and they behave differently.

 

[macagent]

I couldn't agree more, fact of the matter is when you look different people treat you differently. It's a human characteristic to identify patterns and differences. Frankly I have much more in common with the average white suburbanite than I do a black guy from the "inner-city"; problem is (for better or worse) my physical appearances lead people to think otherwise and they behave differently.

Seen it and felt it. I've had multiple large piercings and tattoos since the mid 90's when it was a bit less acceptable, and combined with my large physical presence and urban mode of dress, I have definitely seen that "different" behavior first hand. Had a guy call me Lucifer as I was just walking by him one day...

So is this a natural human behavior, or manufactured fear that has been pushed into our society?

 

[FairShake]

And does it matter what color anyone else's is? Perhaps this behavior was useful at one time, but is this really something that still serves us today?

Yes and yes. Just because YOU are over it doesn't mean everyone else is over it. And thinking everyone else is can get you killed if your head-nod camaraderie ever goes any further.

History is history. They have a different history than us and it's what produced them today. If I was them I'd probably be the same way. My significant history around them makes me wary more often than not but open.

 

[greatgatsby]

wow! where are you all living?! i can say that "in my experience" in the DMV (DC/Maryland/VA), black women are looking for, attracted to, and thirst for brothas with mulitple degrees, investments and careers.

that whole, "i'm a thug, driving around in my old crown vic, braids under my too large fitted hat w/ a different pair of sneakers to match every outfit" stuff is played! seriously. especially with the women 25 and up. - you won't be very successful pulling sistas here with that construct!

don't get me wrong, the mentality of that behavior and the women that are attracted to that does exist here. however, the good thing about this area is that the socio-economic levels for the black community in the dmv is probably the most widely-diverse in the entire country. i've never been anywhere in this country where you have the poorest of the poor within 25 miles of a concentration of the most wealthy african americans.

that being said, if you all are looking for black women who workout, are about business, attractive and seriously looking for forward thinking black men, then this may be your mecca!

AND... f*k that! NEVER feel bad or let someone get to you who says you're not acting, talking or living like a sterotype! we weren't born to live in boxes!

 

[backbreaker]

wow! where are you all living?! i can say that "in my experience" in the DMV (DC/Maryland/VA), black women are looking for, attracted to, and thirst for brothas with mulitple degrees, investments and careers.

that whole, "i'm a thug, driving around in my old crown vic, braids under my too large fitted hat w/ a different pair of sneakers to match every outfit" stuff is played! seriously. especially with the women 25 and up. - you won't be very successful pulling sistas here with that construct!

don't get me wrong, the mentality of that behavior and the women that are attracted to that does exist here. however, the good thing about this area is that the socio-economic levels for the black community in the dmv is probably the most widely-diverse in the entire country. i've never been anywhere in this country where you have the poorest of the poor within 25 miles of a concentration of the most wealthy african americans.

that being said, if you all are looking for black women who workout, are about business, attractive and seriously looking for forward thinking black men, then this may be your mecca!

AND... f*k that! NEVER feel bad or let someone get to you who says you're not acting, talking or living like a stereotype! we weren't born to live in boxes!

yeah Washington metro is possibly the best place in the country to find single well educated in shape African american women

funny, the last black girl i dated seriously, just like i like em. leggy, petite, size C cup, though she didn't work out, she was just genetically "gifted". her sister however, has a college degree and works as a trainer in the gym, she's more ripped than I am lol, in a good way though not bodybuilder ripped but she's very tone.

not, 2 months after we broke up her and her sister moved to the DC metro area.

Again, as i stated, black women, really aren't all that different from white women. Replace the word thug with jerk and there you go, and with "white women" (or women in general) it's not so much the thug image that they love, we know better than that, it's the adventure/since of alphaness that the women are drawn to, not necessarily the lifestyle or the image.

As i stated, my only deal is not with that, it's like if you are black, you aren't allowed to do things that other people find interesting or you are a sellout. Like you really aren't allowed to be unique or different without being called something derogatory. That kinda gets under my skin a tad but not too much. and that's not just by girls for instance last time I was in little rock, my mom wanted me to go see that movie jumping the broom. Looking at the previews, i saw too much i didn't like in the movie, i don't go watch movies that has all those stereotypes in it, the mammy fat black mother, the one educated black guy who gets rediclued, the "thug", there is more to black people than that **** and that pisses me off. Don't get me started on tyler perry, his movies are so damn racist it's crazy and most people that go to the movies and watch them have no idea of the racial stereotypical significance and they eat it up anyway. 100 years ago white people use to pay money to watch white people dress up as black people and make fools out of themselves using those same stereotypes (Minstrel shows), now tyler perrry is making millions off those same stereotypes and people think he's funny. That and usually the movies aren't good lol. Anyway my mom says "oh i gguess that's not white enough for you". From my mom no less. I pick my aunt up to take her to pick up her car and I'm listening to Oscar Peterson in the car, and she says "i don't see why you like that white music". Oscar Peterson is about the fattest black person you will ever find lol (and a prodigy on the piano).

That more than anything gets under my skin.

 

[greatgatsby]

As i stated, my only deal is not with that, it's like if you are black, you aren't allowed to do things that other people find interesting or you are a sellout. Like you really aren't allowed to be unique or different without being called something derogatory. That kinda gets under my skin a tad but not too much. and that's not just by girls for instance last time I was in little rock, my mom wanted me to go see that movie jumping the broom. Looking at the previews, i saw too much i didn't like in the movie, i don't go watch movies that has all those stereotypes in it, the mammy fat black mother, the one educated black guy who gets rediclued, the "thug", there is more to black people than that **** and that pisses me off. Don't get me started on tyler perry, his movies are so damn racist it's crazy and most people that go to the movies and watch them have no idea of the racial stereotypical significance and they eat it up anyway. 100 years ago white people use to pay money to watch white people dress up as black people and make fools out of themselves using those same stereotypes (Minstrel shows), now tyler perrry is making millions off those same stereotypes and people think he's funny. That and usually the movies aren't good lol. Anyway my mom says "oh i gguess that's not white enough for you". From my mom no less. I pick my aunt up to take her to pick up her car and I'm listening to Oscar Peterson in the car, and she says "i don't see why you like that white music". Oscar Peterson is about the fattest black person you will ever find lol (and a prodigy on the piano).

That more than anything gets under my skin.

dude, don't sweat any of that "black enough" BS! seriously. the way i view the situation is this: i am me! take it or leave it... i used to have problems w/ the whole "black people don't talk like, do that, eat that, etc." thing... it used to get to me... Now, - not a single f*ck is given!

i have 2 degrees, play chess, listen to vivaldi, read, visit museums, etc. however, i also hit the gym on the regular, listen to hip-hop, coltrane, and am very active in my community... it's important for me to show younger brothas that they don't have to fit the bet/mtv/upn stereotypes and they can be well-rounded and have the ability to operate/manuever in any type of setting - that's very important and many people can't do that!

AND the women love me! All races! (not tooting my own horn). i'm not the monolithic black person and i think people see that and are attracted to that. i also believe that the majority of our people who say the dumb sh*t - "why are you acting like this, why do your clothes fit, why don't you have tint on your windows and ride on 26's, why do you buy investment properties instead of buying tables at the club, etc.?" are secretly jealous b/c they see what they are not or are afraid to be!

 

[Solomon]

dude, don't sweat any of that "black enough" BS! seriously. the way i view the situation is this: i am me! take it or leave it... i used to have problems w/ the whole "black people don't talk like, do that, eat that, etc." thing... it used to get to me... Now, - not a single f*ck is given!

i have 2 degrees, play chess, listen to vivaldi, read, visit museums, etc. however, i also hit the gym on the regular, listen to hip-hop, coltrane, and am very active in my community... it's important for me to show younger brothas that they don't have to fit the bet/mtv/upn stereotypes and they can be well-rounded and have the ability to operate/manuever in any type of setting - that's very important and many people can't do that!

AND the women love me! All races! (not tooting my own horn). i'm not the monolithic black person and i think people see that and are attracted to that. i also believe that the majority of our people who say the dumb sh*t - "why are you acting like this, why do your clothes fit, why don't you have tint on your windows and ride on 26's, why do you buy investment properties instead of buying tables at the club, etc.?" are secretly jealous b/c they see what they are not or are afraid to be!

Damn you sound like the complete Renaissance man, I always tell cats this black or white living in the midwest if you in shape work a decent job (hell 40k will do) and have low or no debt you will be cleaning up house. Hence I'm in the gym right now more then the field

:yes:

 

[Iceberg]

dude, don't sweat any of that "black enough" BS! seriously. the way i view the situation is this: i am me! take it or leave it... i used to have problems w/ the whole "black people don't talk like, do that, eat that, etc." thing... it used to get to me... Now, - not a single f*ck is given!

i have 2 degrees, play chess, listen to vivaldi, read, visit museums, etc. however, i also hit the gym on the regular, listen to hip-hop, coltrane, and am very active in my community... it's important for me to show younger brothas that they don't have to fit the bet/mtv/upn stereotypes and they can be well-rounded and have the ability to operate/manuever in any type of setting - that's very important and many people can't do that!

AND the women love me! All races! (not tooting my own horn). i'm not the monolithic black person and i think people see that and are attracted to that. i also believe that the majority of our people who say the dumb sh*t - "why are you acting like this, why do your clothes fit, why don't you have tint on your windows and ride on 26's, why do you buy investment properties instead of buying tables at the club, etc.?" are secretly jealous b/c they see what they are not or are afraid to be!

I'm in the same boat, man.

I was lucky enough to grow up with a core group of friends who were happy to let me be creative, and pursue non-traditional paths. My family has been great as well. But then you'll catch the occasional black woman or white person who's like "You play guitar? You speak multiple languages? That's so white!"

And I'm thinking, "Right. It's so un-black to have interests, and hobbies, and be curious about the world. Let me go fry you some chicken and bust out a freestyle rap for you."

Overall, life has been very good to me. But that mindset always annoys the hell out of me.