Sick of the internet Vs "real world" debate

[ketostix]

So do you speak from experience about women being skeptical about you online or are you going just by the fact that "others" mentioned their lack of ability in properly qualifying women?

I speak from experience and the predominant experience of others who've realized that females place a social stigma on the guys they meet online, just look at the predominant view in this thred . As far as lack of properly qualifying, that doesn't address that you still have to overcome a big hurdle to do this online in the first place.

Also, isn't it strange to say that there is a lack of quality women in which to hookup? Do you really think that quality women are online just for the hookup or will hookup with anyone just because he sends her an email?

No, I believe there is hardly any quality women online to choose from in the first place. I never suggested for what quality girls there might be online it was easy, just the contrary. You're really just proving my point that online sarging is a lot of work. However, I should've said meeting in person rather than hookup. Anyway, I'll defer to MindOverMatter. He pretty much gave an accurate overview of online dating.

If it works for you great but my point is online has its drawbacks.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ketostix
I speak from experience and the predominant experience of others who've realized that females place a social stigma on the guys they meet online, just look at the predominant view in this thred . As far as lack of properly qualifying, that doesn't address that you still have to overcome a big hurdle to do this online in the first place.

And this is why DJs are in the minority. There are masses upon masses of AFCs that have a bad experience and as a justification of their experience, they find other AFCs who have had similar experiences. They say "It happened to me, it happened to them, IT MUST BE TRUE!" Yeah, that's how life works...

As for qualifying, it's a very important skill to have so as NOT to fall into the traps of attention wh0res and professional daters. No, it's not the only skill that's necessary; you obviously need to have an engaging personality, somewhat attractive, charismatic and communicative. Some say that you need to be better versed in these qualities to effectivly sarge online.

No, I believe there is hardly any quality women online to choose from in the first place. I never suggested for what quality girls there might be online it was easy, just the contrary. You're really just proving my point that online sarging is a lot of work. However, I should've said meeting in person rather than hookup. Anyway, I'll defer to MindOverMatter. He pretty much gave an accurate overview of online dating.

Yeah, it may take additional effort but the payoffs are worth it in my opinion. The ability to effectively sarge online easily carries over to sarging on the street, actually it actually boosts some DJs street effectivness .

If it works for you great but my point is online has its drawbacks.

Life has its drawbacks to y'know, one can either choose to deal with them effectively or take the easier path of avoidance. So which one would would a DJ choose?

 

[ketostix]

Fair enough, but to the proponents of online sarging I'd like to see pics of the HB they've met online and FR/LR. About the only poster I've seen do this is GodsGiftToWomen, and he's not even a big online proponent. Seems like they only espouse the virtues of online dating and none of the negatives, yet they offer no proof of their successes, and even more importantly most of them offer no useful advice on online sarging. They just say things to the effect of, "stop trashing online dating" or blame the online skeptics for the poor experience they have.

I'm not trashing online sarging, and in its defense a lot of posters attack every online thread and its OP. This isn't useful. A lot of people who are negative about online aren't AFC or runing AFC game. Granted evidently we're not running the the requisite game/techniques to get what we want, but again the proponents only offer a rosy picture with no substance to back it up along with counter attacks.

I know there's a few threads here regarding online technique, but not many. What'd I like to see is not chat logs but FR/LR providing a synopsis of a successful online sarge along with pics. Otherwise I'm skepticle that many are meeting real HBs from online. Well I think I've beat this to horse to death, but for anyone to say online critics just don't have the skill or requisite game is just ignoring the inefficiency and difficulty of online dating. Isn't that what this debate is really about, whether online is as eficient as real life?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Are you willing to post pictures of yourself and women you sarge face to face? Just curious.

I'm always interested in people who can not comprehend what's possible without having tangible evidence. It makes me wonder if they can ever become a DJ since they probably have no tangible evidence that they can become one thus they question their ability to become one.

I still feel that most DJs don't feel the need to prove their talents to anyone for anyones behalf other than their own. Guys post their insights and people choose whether or not to use that knowledge. Some are willing to take the chance, other's seem to have been so trashed in failed experiences, it's just safer for them to denounce it all.

Just my observation.

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

I think that most "real life" girls have the internet, but the really attractive ones won't typically meet guys from the net. In real life you can go up to them and make a good impression, but you can't really do that online.

There are some girls where I have had them on my msn list for a long time, but it doesn't progress beyond that. Although I always keep my options open to online, I often feel that walking up to a girl in real life and talking with her for 10 minutes is more effective than talking to someone online for 10 weeks.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by I_Only_Live_Once
...There are some girls where I have had them on my msn list for a long time, but it doesn't progress beyond that.

Why not?

Although I always keep my options open to online, I often feel that walking up to a girl in real life and talking with her for 10 minutes is more effective than talking to someone online for 10 weeks.

Why would you talk to someone online for 10 weeks? Why not meet her? Is this why people are against meeting women online? Is it because they aren't interested enough to meet you?

 

[Cheat_LBJ]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia

Why would you talk to someone online for 10 weeks? Why not meet her? Is this why people are against meeting women online? Is it because they aren't interested enough to meet you?

It's because if they're interested in meeting guys online, to me, that's a huge red flag that they're suffering from emotional problems that preclude them from meeting guys in normal situations.

A woman who is even the slightest bit socially well adjusted should be able to meet tons of guys just by being out and about because it is the women who get approached. Guys have to actually get up and go approach women, which is why the internet is so appealing to people with no social skills or who are shy: the rejection factor is much lower (you can close an IM box and block a name without losing any face most of the time), the ability to filter responses is much easier as opposed to having to carry on a live conversation with someone face-to-face, etc. They need the internet. Women don't have to worry about things like being shy; guys don't worry about who is shy and who isn't when going up and sarging.

Basically, bottom line is this: a woman is online looking for men because she isn't able to find one traditionally. That means either guys aren't approaching her (which is a red flag) or that she isn't keeping any of the guys who do approach her around (which is another red flag).

Either way you look at it, bad idea from where I sit.

 

[Bonhomme]

Each to their own

This may seem strange coming from me, but I agree with TillTheEndOfTime and Francisco on this one. Who cares, as long as it works for you?

Some guys do incredibly well meeting women over the net, and others -- such as myself -- do much better in person. The only way to judge which is better is by your results.

As I see it, the main advantage to meeting in person is that the all-important matter of chemistry comes into play right upfront. Online, someone can appear really great, and when you meet it's just a dud.

The main advantage of online dating is that it can greatly widen your pool of available prospects, especially if you don't get out to where there are a lot of women and/or you tend to hang out at the same places with the same people almost all of the time.

Likewise, some women just don't get out to where they meet a lot of new guys very often, and none of the men they know and do hang out with are good current prospects, for whatever reason.

Not all women who have online personal ads are nut cases, by any means, but it has been my experience that they are more "shopping list"-oriented than those I meet in person. The whole setup just encourages that. If you tend to get involved with women who would seem improbable "on paper," for whatever reason, you'll probably not do so well online. It's harder for your charisma to trump the perceived points of incompatibility, unless you're a very witty writer.

Whatever works for you is cool.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Cheat_LBJ
It's because if they're interested in meeting guys online, to me, that's a huge red flag that they're suffering from emotional problems that preclude them from meeting guys in normal situations.

This from a guy that's getting dating tips from an Internet site. Isn't that a bit hypocritical?

 

[BigFoot]

The fact is, no normal attractive female needs to use the internet to meet guys.
And when an occasional attractive, normal female does happen on an internet site, she gets so many responses that the odds are not in your favor.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by BigFoot
The fact is, no normal attractive female needs to use the internet to meet guys.
And when an occasional attractive, normal female does happen on an internet site, she gets so many responses that the odds are not in your favor.

True, but the odds aren't really that bad because many of the guys online have attitudes similar to yours, kinda defeatist. Not really the type that many women want to spend time. It does cut down on the competition.

 

[BigFoot]

Actually the odds are terrible for guys.
If a guy can rid himself of the shyness that motivates most onlines, he'll find meeting people in person is much easier and effective. This is especially true for guys who are not particularly photogenic (as most people are not) .

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Whoa. I wonder how some guys can grow enough seeds to leave the house.

 

[BigFoot]

Not sure what you meant there Fran,
but if you know any attractive women they will tell you the same: online, what for?
Seems to me only someone who works for
Match.com or has other similar self-interest would promote online dating as you do.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by BigFoot
Not sure what you meant there Fran,
but if you know any attractive women they will tell you the same: online, what for?
Seems to me only someone who works for
Match.com or has other similar self-interest would promote online dating as you do.

And a room full of monkeys with typewriters can write Hamlet, or was it Romeo and Juliet, or was it Lord of the Rings... Eh, whatever...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Oh yeah, and I also pick up women in bars and dance clubs so that would make me part owner of the Hard Rock Café too right? Oh yeah, I own a couple of grocery stores and municipal parks too... If I had known that being able to sarge women in different arenas would give me a vested interest in that area I would have become a DJ long ago so I could retire early!

 

[PRMoon]

Internet dating is like russian roulette, i'd rather go on a blind date then take chances going on and on with a woman who cold be a man on the other side.

Really when you think about it internet dating doesn't stack up very well against meeting someone in realtime. Mainly because when I meet a woman in real time I can see and talk to a real person and i have more power to manipulate the situation becaseu they can't just ignore me or shut my conversation off like you can on a computer. I find that people who use computers to date usaully have something(s) to hide and are using technology to mask their identity and figure. Sure people in the real world have things to hide but i can get a much better read on someone if they're right there in front of me talking rather then typing or email. And lets say the person does have a cam or something so you can see them in real time, you still have to gain that person's trust (so willing if you're attracted to them) in order to meet them in real time, which means you're taking an extra step (and a big on one at that) just to get the begging of a situation that you could encounter much more readily if you just had balls and went up to a girl and said hello.

Sorry net dater boyz, I'm still not feeling you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by PRMoon
Internet dating is like russian roulette, i'd rather go on a blind date then take chances going on and on with a woman who cold be a man on the other side.

Really when you think about it internet dating doesn't stack up very well against meeting someone in realtime. Mainly because when I meet a woman in real time I can see and talk to a real person and i have more power to manipulate the situation becaseu they can't just ignore me or shut my conversation off like you can on a computer. I find that people who use computers to date usaully have something(s) to hide and are using technology to mask their identity and figure. Sure people in the real world have things to hide but i can get a much better read on someone if they're right there in front of me talking rather then typing or email. And lets say the person does have a cam or something so you can see them in real time, you still have to gain that person's trust (so willing if you're attracted to them) in order to meet them in real time, which means you're taking an extra step (and a big on one at that) just to get the begging of a situation that you could encounter much more readily if you just had balls and went up to a girl and said hello.

Sorry net dater boyz, I'm still not feeling you.

Let's face it, you guys lack the capacity to be able to sarge women without getting direct and immediate feedback from them. That's probably the reason that you guys have a problem getting the dates.

Contrary to popular belief, Online Dating is NOT dating a woman online, it's just searching a menu of possibilities, contacting them and then meeting them face to face. What's so difficult about that? The only thing that a DJ would need is the charisma that would make a woman want to meet him, that's it.

Hell, I get emails like this from women in other states who know that we we're not even each other's type, but wish that we could just hang out:

I just had to drop you a line to tell you that I loved your profile. It was hilarious. Even though we are not one another's type, I wish we lived closer because I would have loved to have you as a friend. You sound like you'd be a blast to hang out with. Best of luck in your search.

This, just from the written word.

So come on, don't just blame the system when your own skills are lacking. Yeah, there are flakes online as there are flakes in clubs or where ever you choose to meet women. None the less, it's up to YOU on how well you approach and determine whether or not they're worth your time.

 

[Cheat_LBJ]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia

So come on, don't just blame the system when your own skills are lacking. Yeah, there are flakes online as there are flakes in clubs or where ever you choose to meet women. None the less, it's up to YOU on how well you approach and determine whether or not they're worth your time.

The word "Skill" is screaming and crying from the misuse it has suffered in this paragraph.

It takes no skill whatsoever to throw a profile up on Match.com and wait for responses or to respond to articles you read. The fact that you can go over an e-mail 50 times to convey JUST the right message before you send it does not belie skill so much as it does meticulousness and attention to detail that could NEVER exist in a 1-on-1 conversation.

There is no confidence required to send an e-mail because you are not putting yourself on the line; you're putting an avatar of yourself on the line. It won't be Joe Schmoe's ego that takes a hit it'll be HotJoe554's ego that takes a small beating.

This debate is pointless. You're never going to change your mind, I'm never going to change yours. If it works for you, use it...

 

[PRMoon]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia


Hell, I get emails like this from women in other states who know that we we're not even each other's type, but wish that we could just hang out:
.

This message sounds kind of programed and desperate. I don't even understand what you would even hope to accomplish by sending this to someone. Is this written to some one far away who you'd like to be friends with? If so that's like a quick step into a long distance relationship which i'm also against....unless this would be a message you would use to trick ladies into a "just friends" encounter where you try to nice her clothes off...That would just be desperate.

I understand suggestive power through writing but unless you're writting like 20-50 girls four times a week you won't even come close to half of the girls I meet while spending a few hours outside of my house doing just about anything will get me.

Simple principle really, If I'm outside meeting more girls while you're inside writing bulk email i'm going to have more face time with a larger group of girls then you will.

bahhh nevermind it's your world you do what you want. I'm just not going to see your light and I like doing things my way. If you like dating through cyberspace you do it, and enjoy.