Sick of all these chicks pushing for dinner

[Konada]

Starting to think I might not even been dating anyone in this year. All these fvcking chicks I ask out always tried to push for dinner over text after I told them drinks...Needless to say I broke it off since I refuse to be a free meal ticket. 5 confirmed dates, all tried to push for dinner and I told them to take a hike. Wtf?

 

[dustmuffin]

Can't you just tell them coffee and if they don't like it don't come?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Dude... the reason they're turning down your request for drinks is because the date idea itself makes them think you're just trying to get them drunk to have sex with them. It's also because the date itself doesn't show much effort. You're mad at the idea of having to spend, what, possibly $40 on a meal (half of which is paying for your portion of the meal)? Meanwhile, she's thinking that she's going to spend at least $100 to start on getting her hair done, plus another $75 to $100 on a new outfit, $50 on new shoes (that's being generous), $50 on perfume (also being generous) and hour getting her make up just right... and you can't spend $40 taking her out to dinner?

Good grief. Find some cheap-yet-nice-looking places around town and take her to a friggin' meal already.

 

[zinc4]

Dude... the reason they're turning down your request for drinks is because the date idea itself makes them think you're just trying to get them drink to have sex with them. It's also because the date itself doesn't show much effort. You're mad at the idea of having to spend, what, possibly $40 on a meal (half of which is paying for your portion of the meal)? Meanwhile, she's thinking that she's going to spend at least $100 to start on getting her hair done, plus another $75 to $100 on a new outfit, $50 on new shoes (that's being generous), $50 on perfume (also being generous) and hour getting her make up just right... and you can't spend $40 taking her out to dinner?

Good grief. Find some cheap-yet-nice-looking places around town and take her to a friggin' meal already.

What a white knight reply.

OP....don't stress it...I NEVER do dinner dates...if their il is high drinks are perfect and you can always downgrade to coffee.

And you are damn right I'm not wasting $40 on some lame boring first date dinner.....WTF Harry.

If they don't drink lately I've just been.meeting them at a local convenience store while I drunk a beer and they have some juice or coffee. If they don't like it...next. But so far I've had nothing but success with the convenience store dating. It's my go to first date if they decline meeting at my place first.

Just say no to dinner first dates. Boring as hell and a waste of money.

 

[Konada]

What a white knight reply.

OP....don't stress it...I NEVER do dinner dates...if their il is high drinks are perfect and you can always downgrade to coffee.

And you are damn right I'm not wasting $40 on some lame boring first date dinner.....WTF Harry.

If they don't drink lately I've just been.meeting them at a local convenience store while I drunk a beer and they have some juice or coffee. If they don't like it...next. But so far I've had nothing but success with the convenience store dating. It's my go to first date if they decline meeting at my place first.

Just say no to dinner first dates. Boring as hell and a waste of money.

I would have agreed with you if that was the case but every date I tried to make so far results in the girl pushing for dinner and eventually breaking it off because I refused to have dinner. I either suggest coffee/drinks at times where people are usually done with their dinner.

Seeing how the common denominator is me, I'm starting to think that in my country girls expect to be wined and dined instead of just having a casual 1st meetup.

I'm really frustrated right now because I'm 22, I have only went out on 1 real date (and it sucked pretty bad), never had a girlfriend, virgin. I know I need to get experience under my belt but it seems like my demographics and values are totally out of sync.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What a white knight reply.

OP....don't stress it...I NEVER do dinner dates...if their il is high drinks are perfect and you can always downgrade to coffee.

And you are damn right I'm not wasting $40 on some lame boring first date dinner.....WTF Harry.

If they don't drink lately I've just been.meeting them at a local convenience store while I drunk a beer and they have some juice or coffee. If they don't like it...next. But so far I've had nothing but success with the convenience store dating. It's my go to first date if they decline meeting at my place first.

Just say no to dinner first dates. Boring as hell and a waste of money.

Harry just lost all credibility with that reply...I've never had a woman push me for dinner...I'd take it as a sign they aren't interested and just trying to get a free meal...FWIW

 

[guru1000]

You respond with:

"My invitation is for drinks. =) If all goes well, then dinner on the second date. Let me know if that sounds good to you."

If you haven't already met this chick, as she is from OLD, a demand for dinner with a stranger is unwarranted. Surprisingly, I have only had one OLD girl demand dinner in over 150 or so dates. Maybe different demographics at play.

 

[RangerMIke]

You are not being clear in your intent. If you want to meet up to see if you'll like each other than just tell her that's want you are doing. Don't call it a date with drinks, because Harry is right, she's just going to get the idea you want to get her drunk and fvck her.

Drink dates are fine if you have already meet.

I don't do OLD and I never except a blind date, if I did then I would ask for a coffee meet-up.

 

[donking]

Do lunch at panera or chipotle haha.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I girl I know off POF said to me "What's with all these guys trying to take me to dinner? I don't want dinner. That's boring as hell."

 

[ubercat]

B4 I got shacked up in various LTRs I used to date a fair bit. I don't remember any of my lays coming from dinner dates. Had most success with micro dates where I moved them from place to place. I used to think that's because dinner dates are boring. But I think I was being naive I think it was really about girls with low Il wanting the free meal

 

[El Payaso]

Dude... the reason they're turning down your request for drinks is because the date idea itself makes them think you're just trying to get them drunk to have sex with them. It's also because the date itself doesn't show much effort. You're mad at the idea of having to spend, what, possibly $40 on a meal (half of which is paying for your portion of the meal)? Meanwhile, she's thinking that she's going to spend at least $100 to start on getting her hair done, plus another $75 to $100 on a new outfit, $50 on new shoes (that's being generous), $50 on perfume (also being generous) and hour getting her make up just right... and you can't spend $40 taking her out to dinner?

Good grief. Find some cheap-yet-nice-looking places around town and take her to a friggin' meal already.

I'm beginning to think you might be a woman.

 

[GS750]

I try and go for fun first dates. Bowling, mini golf, a bar that has darts or billiards, etc. Fvck dinner.

 

[old married dude]

Stick to your guns...just drinks (you buy yours, she buys hers) for a first meet. If they are not cool with that, move onto the next one.

Why invest really anything in someone you aren't even sure about?

 

[Mr Wright]

OP as a fellow 22 year old, trust me when I say do not take a girl out for dinner on the first date. It's like calling a girl, it's just not the done thing to do and it will make you stick out not in a good way. I know it's sounds counter intuitive but you don't want to stick out that much early on in terms how you approach the date. Let your personality be difference when you're actually on the date.

That being said, if girls are rejecting drinks but wanting dinner, that's a different issue, the drinks are not the problem. Girls our age are totally fine with drinks, I've never had an issue with it. If they like you they'll turn up anywhere, I've invited girls to come and meet me at my place with the view to moving on elsewhere and just ended up banging them. If you're giving into their demands before you've even met them, you're heading down the wrong road.

 

[Lozboss]

Harry just lost all credibility with that reply...I've never had a woman push me for dinner...I'd take it as a sign they aren't interested and just trying to get a free meal...FWIW

Game differs.

You don't know what you're talking about. Harry is a seasoned DJ and has helped hundreds of people on here. He knows more than you'll probably ever know (mainly because you refuse to even consider other's opinions).

 

[Who Dares Win]

Dinner? seriously at 22 especially? I get bored only to think about spending more than 30 min sitting on a table with a girl I dont fully know.

Stick to your guns mate, not only because of an economical reason but for the simple fact that the frame of interaction of a drink evening is very different from a dinner date.

In the first case the frame is "lets know each other more", in the dinner date the perceived frame is "Im trying to conquer you and qualify myself", needless to say the conseguences of the other.

A dinner date offered from you should be a reward for a girl which made something good for you, to pay dinner to a girl you barely know which invested nothing in you is no different than a girl giving a bl0wjob to a guy the same night in the hope he will appreciate and pay her back with some attention and care.

We all know what happens then.

Again what a boring thing apart that, in the last 5 years I didnt have a single date, its either pick up a girl where I am or inform a girl where I will be and saying that I will text to ask if she will be around.

 

[ubercat]

Hey WDW
I m curious. I think u mentioned in another post u might take them along if you are shopping. I like the whole frame of I'm doing what I'm doing and you can come along. How do you make the shopping thing seem normal as it's a bit of a girlfriend job.

 

[pyros]

Forget what Harry said, what an awful advise!!

I've been in dozens of first dates and I have never gone to have dinner. It just doesnt make any sense to have dinner with a girl you barely know! duh!!

They think you just want to get them drunk? yeah, ok, so what?

When you have a first date with a woman you dont really know, you go to grab a drink, a coffee, and ice cream, an apetizer...in other words, something small and something you can finish in 15 minutes if you dont like your date. It makes perfect sense.
Besides, talking while eating...is not a pleasant experience when you dont know the other person.

I've never had any woman push me to get us dinner. Not on a first, second, or third date...never. Wtf?

If you dont want to give them the impression that you want to get em drunk and have sex with them (why not?), fine, dont set a date for 10:00 pm, meet her earlier so there is still light. This way the sex 'pressure' is a lot less, and it is more friendly if that is your style.

Your last five dates pushed for dinner?? then you're giving them the wrong impression and you're attracting gold diggers or some other women that just want a free meal and someone to entertain them. Fvck that.
Are you meeting them online...right...?

Keep searching.

 

[AttackFormation]

I don't even like dinner with anyone. Sitting down at a table and doing nothing is boring, period... if these girls want to do that, that means they too are boring or they want to use you for your money.