shutting the fùck up in a group?

[Jay-X]

when i approach a girl in the street, i can always get her. but when i meet her through some mutual friends, it's always almost impossible...

i think the main problem is that i talk too much...

how can i understand when there's the need to talk and when not?

 

[Alphathree]

I refuse to believe that you can pick up random women on the street but not in your circle of friends... one is higher difficulty than the other.

Actually, nevermind, my friend can get makeouts in a club every night but couldn't get a girlfriend if his life depended on it. I guess he's kinda like you.

And he never shuts the hell up either.

You need to have qualities other than the crap that comes out of your mouth to attract a woman in your social circle. Try being laid back, unattached to outcome, talking slowly and asking questions/being genuinely interested (but not TOO interested) and then BE GONE and let her miss you for a while.

When you get back, act like she's nothing too special. She'll come to you.

Man, I wish I could teach my game, but no one ever gets it... it's called "don't try so frickin hard and let the women come to you"

 

[dannyc]

man im kinda similar. Theres a period when i cant shup the hell up, im talking continously. I have so much **** in my mind on anything, that i just let it out. Then theres a period where i just chill, dont have much to say and just collect my thoughts and listen to everyone around me.

Just dont say things when you dont need to just for the sake of it. You can keep quiet at times man, thats cool. Have the right balance and then girls around you wont find you some annoying a$shole whos on cocaine.

 

[flexion_]

Hmmm... that is a tough problem. My only suggestion would be try and make the other person talk in the conversation. Like asking open ended questions... that way you aren't just talking about yourself (may make you appear self-centered).

 

[Jay-X]

Originally posted by Alphathree
I refuse to believe that you can pick up random women on the street but not in your circle of friends... one is higher difficulty than the other.

actually, it's like that... i have had success with street approaches and i also get approached quite often. but the only girls that like me in a group, are the ones that were already checking me out and had asked their friends to introduce them to me

Originally posted by Alphathree

You need to have qualities other than the crap that comes out of your mouth to attract a woman in your social circle. Try being laid back, unattached to outcome, talking slowly and asking questions/being genuinely interested (but not TOO interested) and then BE GONE and let her miss you for a while.

When you get back, act like she's nothing too special. She'll come to you.

Man, I wish I could teach my game, but no one ever gets it... it's called "don't try so frickin hard and let the women come to you"

man, i already have a girlfriend, so i don't think i try too hard... it's just that i like to chat, while the cool people in my town seem to be the silent ones

 

[Jay-X]

Originally posted by flexion_
Hmmm... that is a tough problem. My only suggestion would be try and make the other person talk in the conversation. Like asking open ended questions... that way you aren't just talking about yourself (may make you appear self-centered).

that's my way of leading the conversation in a group... i conversate with everybody and ask lots of questions... but since my voice is loud and i lead the convo (on this site, it's seen as a good thing ), i appear as a chatbox...