Shut the F--- Up!

[TheCWord]

Stop talking so damn much.

I don't think any one thing has improved my game as much as that.

I used to be a bit of a motor mouth. Not in a nervous kind of way - but in the "entertainer" way. It was instinctual, conditioned over years of being the funny guy, to always make things jokey. That clownish energy never repelled women, I don't think, but it only got a select few's panties wet - and that was probably more coincidental, they were likely attracted to me for other reasons already.

Everybody loves a clown, but clown's don't get laid as much. I'm still witty, but my humor is even sharper now because I won't just say the first thing that comes to my mind. I'll execute a joke if it's going to be well-timed and a home run (rather than a bloop single or double).

And now that I'm quieter, and mixed in with some strong body language, I find people are more interested in what I have to say and my naturally strong sense of humor is appreciated even more because I'm not giving it away for free all the time.

Food for thought.

Shut up.

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Agreed. I've clowned my way out of quite a few over the years. Keep them wanting more, don't saturate.

 

[Uncharted]

I was thinking about starting a thread just like this. The less you say, the better. You can't "convince" a girl to like you by talking to her. You have to make her want you more through your actions or by your absence (her hamster).

If you're thinking about calling, texting, or chatting up a girl (for rapport building) that you're trying to game but haven't closed the deal with, DON'T DO IT. If you bump into her in person then you can. Don't go out of your way to initiate contact. She will not forget about you if she's even slightly interested in you. Only contact her to schedule a meet-up (date, hangout, hookup).

When you're in a relationship, less communication by you is key. You always hear about women complaining that their boyfriend doesn't communicate enough. You know why she is saying that? Because her interest level is 100% in that guy. He's doing it right. If she starts a fight, say nothing. If she says something you don't like, say nothing. If she asks you a question that you don't want to answer, say nothing.

 

[TheCWord]

If you're thinking about calling, texting, or chatting up a girl (for rapport building) that you're trying to game but haven't closed the deal with, DON'T DO IT. If you bump into her in person then you can. Don't go out of your way to initiate contact. She will not forget about you if she's even slightly interested in you. Only contact her to schedule a meet-up (date, hangout, hookup).

Do you respond to texts if a girl you haven't hooked up with initiates?

I respond, for sure, but never initiate. I keep the convos pretty short and usually leave it with her sending the last message. I'll also ignore maybe 1 in every 5 texts.

 

[Sonny Knight]

I STARTED THATSH!T TO DAY EVERYBODY KEEP ASKING ME WHAT'S WRONG

I NEED TO SHUT THE **** UP MORE OFTEN

The 48 Laws of Power





“LAW 4
Always Say Less Than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.”
― Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power

 

[like2jam]

This is great advice. I've been working on this exact thing quite a bit over the last couple of months on the various dates that I've had.

My inclination was totally beta at first, to ramble on, to try to impress, to basically not shut the eff up.

Now I almost always focus on returning the conversation back to her. I focus on body language & eye contact. Last night I had a date and I used breaks in the convo to ask to see her bracelet more closely so I could touch her. I also kept thing light and playful, even tossed in a joke or two. It definitely works, the talking less and listening more. Plus, it gives you time to rest and think more about what she is actually saying. Does it turn you on or interest you?

I also like to remember that once you're comfortable or even in a relationship, you often talk wayyy less, sometimes not at all. So why would you do the opposite on some early dates? Talking less leaves more to the imagination, keeps you a mystery and hopefully gets her to want more, not less.

Imagine all the people leaving dates thinking, "Damn, that person wouldn't shut the eff up! That would drive me up the wall... neeexxxtt"

 

[TheCWord]

I also like to remember that once you're comfortable or even in a relationship, you often talk wayyy less, sometimes not at all. So why would you do the opposite on some early dates? Talking less leaves more to the imagination, keeps you a mystery and hopefully gets her to want more, not less.

Good point.

 

[Uncharted]

Do you respond to texts if a girl you haven't hooked up with initiates?

I respond, for sure, but never initiate. I keep the convos pretty short and usually leave it with her sending the last message. I'll also ignore maybe 1 in every 5 texts.

Almost always. Unless it's a really dumb text. I noticed that if I started to not answer texts she would start, so no need to start those games.

 

[VladPatton]

Agreed 100%. Stop clowning your way out of getting the girl, you ain't gettin paid to be her court jester.

 

[TheCWord]

I think where us guys get tangled up with court jestering is that we wonder, without it, what the hell else are we going to do to build attraction?

Maybe somebody else on here can actually put it into words, but it seems that attraction is somehow primarily built when you are completely silent and when you are not even in the same room/city. I don't have enough experience to explain it clearly, but somehow by saying less/not being around you are standing out from all the other guys more than you would by verbal communication.

 

[cof33]

th3res a diference btween talkin an comunicate we tend to talk alot but we need to comunicate more express your real intentions...

 

[like2jam]

lol Coff33

Me on a date: I intend to penetrate your wet pvssy. That is my intention.
Your place or mine?

 

[cof33]

well if you value your time and you really want that,thats the way to go off course you dont have to say like that instead of wastin time wit fancy fluff talk always try to comunicate what you want....

 

[Atom Smasher]

Push/pull applies to communication, too. I find the best formula is to be talkative, then mysteriously silent. Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

[Sonny Knight]

Push/pull applies to communication, too. I find the best formula is to be talkative, then mysteriously silent. Lather, rinse, repeat.

This Kat Atom Smasher :trouble: :box: :kick:

 

[crossedup]

Action wins, every time. People will respect based on what you do, not what you say, People who talk a lot are annoying and I personally avoid them. Those who talk little, but work hard and say the right things are the experts of attraction and social dynamics. So yea shut the f*ck up and start walking the walk instead of talking the talk. You are definitely on the right track.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Totally agreed. I've actually stopped talking so much.
In class I'm considering the "class clown" but I think it gets old so now I just shut my mouth.
I get the feeling people get annoyed with people that talk to much and lose respect for them.

My problem is I can't find balance, I either talk to much or not at all.