should you talk to a woman like a guy?

[PlatoPacks23]

ive read some advice (Pook?) that all you do is talk to a woman like you would a guy you just met/a guy friend, except avoid super logical or scientific topics.


is this good advice? I guess it removes the outcome dependency a bit and makes you chill, but then when does the flirting etc come into play?

 

[inquisitor]

You won't understand better if you don't talk to women.

Part of the logic behind the "talking to a girl like she's a guy" advice is that:
-you remove her from a pedestal, because she is a person just like you after all, with thoughts and emotions and hormones and insecurities and dreams
-you feel more relaxed and composed, you alleviate the stress, however normal because of the fight-or-flight response being similar to the arousal response

As a general rule, if you want someone to like you, whether in relationships or marketing or politics, you have to sway their emotions, not their logic.

Some women do enjoy those topics, but what matters is that when conversing a girl you're interested in, you have to be likable first – hence, the need to be sociable and having an identity and a personality.

Also, when conversing a girl you're interested in, you dictate how the conversation must go, but she must find value in your company. Every time you converse with her, that's flirting, and some ways are more effective at making her flirt back.

 

[Tilex]

No
You cannot connect with women on that level. I've tried this many times before in the past.
There has to be a masculine/feminine polarity in order for the chemistry to work.

If you treat them like a guy, you'll fall into the friend zone trap.
My advice is to be direct and unapologetic. Go for what you want.
If she doesn't like it, then she can go fvck herself.

 

[corrector]

I don't know if that's realistic advice with me since women are too vastly different compared to guys. There is just a gulf of difference to say "talk to her like a guy". It should be, talk to her like an elderly lady, or a woman you are not attracted to, or female cousin/sister, rather than a guy.

In my experience, you think you have someone is enjoying your company then you are ghosted the next day or it's just ends up as a nice convo for that moment and that's it.

 

[Gamisch]

Perhaps AFTER you slept with her, and only if you bagged her quick after initially meeting her.

This is NOT the way you should train yourself. If you do this you'll bring out " friendzone me vibes " from the beginning. Only when you established a dynamic where you are WAY above her you can occasionally do this.

She has at least three dudes I'm her phone right now who are "annoyingly smooth" , alltough she might say they are just " really friendly ".

If you as a man are somewhat ripped, smell good, look like you got some cash and indeed a smooth talker ,you are already in for 80%. I'd even say that those attributes are so strong you don't even have to talk that much.

 

[SW15]

The answer is no. It is because of the masculine/feminine polarity point that @Tilex mentioned.

If you as a man are somewhat ripped, smell good, look like you got some cash and indeed a smooth talker ,you are already in for 80%. I'd even say that those attributes are so strong you don't even have to talk that much.

I agree. The less talk needed, the better. As a man, when you are 6'0"+ and fit, you don't need to do a lot of talking or have much of a personality to seduce.

 

[andreihaha]

Being honest is a way better approach. No need to bullsh1t/deceive.
If you're interested, you should make it clear eventually.
Too much tactics instead of genuine behaviour is counter productive. I know some feel the need to "learn"seduction mechanically, but if you act like you're from another planet, no magic pickup line will save you.
Be genuine if you want genuine relationships with real people.

 

[inquisitor]

My advice is to be direct and unapologetic. Go for what you want.
If she doesn't like it, then she can go fvck herself.

I'd say being direct and unapologetic is something that must be honed and earned over time.

It's not easy to be direct nor unapologetic if you don't know who you are or what you want, and if you don't know how the world works for you and against you.

 

[Mike32ct]

It’s probably ok as temporary beginner advice. If the guy is afraid to talk to women at all, treating them like dudes might reduce anxiety and get him more comfortable.

But he would need to drop those “training wheels” fairly soon.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Likely if one is talking to a woman, one is also somewhat sexually attracted to her. I think somewhere in the brain it starts screaming: ‘make babies with her!’. Which doesn’t happen when you talk to guys.
I’ve noticed my conversations with women are very different than those with men.

 

[zekko]

ive read some advice (Pook?) that all you do is talk to a woman like you would a guy you just met/a guy friend, except avoid super logical or scientific topics.

Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't recall Pook ever saying that. He said you should talk to your girls like they were your bratty younger sister. I've never had a bratty younger sister, so that bit of advice meant basically nothing to me.

Anyway, I imagine what they mean by talk to her like she was a guy is be relaxed around her, don't treat her like she is a precious china doll or something. If you're a guy who freezes up around beautiful women (as I used to be), you're better off talking to her like she was a guy than not saying anything at all. But yeah, probably not the best way to look at it or go about it.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

i've heard people say " We care a lot what women look like, women care a lot about the things we say and do."

"Women don't need to be good at talking to men, we will still want to be with them anyway. But also, the makeup industry is a multi-billion dollar a year industry that is 95%+ for women. Different challenges for different needs."

 

[corrector]

Likely if one is talking to a woman, one is also somewhat sexually attracted to her. I think somewhere in the brain it starts screaming: ‘make babies with her!’. Which doesn’t happen when you talk to guys.
I’ve noticed my conversations with women are very different than those with men.

Even with women over 40 years old who can't have kids because of age?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Even with women over 40 years old who can't have kids because of age?

I’m not sure if one’s subconscious can determine when a woman is no longer able to bear children. Certianly many women 40-50 can.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

ive read some advice (Pook?) that all you do is talk to a woman like you would a guy you just met/a guy friend, except avoid super logical or scientific topics.


is this good advice? I guess it removes the outcome dependency a bit and makes you chill, but then when does the flirting etc come into play?

Avoid politics. There is no reason to be be bringing these up to women or be discussing them in a dating scenario. Only bad things can happen, but people love doing it because they can't help themselves and then wonder why the woman runs not walks out of the place.

 

[p_1337]

A logical conversation, structured largely around concrete concepts and ideas (the way you'd talk to a male friend) doesn't do much to evoke interest in women. You can sprinkle some of this throughout, but in my experience. it's better to lean towards the following (especially if you haven't banged her yet):

- You need to be fun and flirtatious.

- You need to be able to play to her emotions and make her feel something.

- You need to come off as non-judgmental (maybe only jokingly judgmental on occasion -- to playfully tease her).

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

ive read some advice (Pook?) that all you do is talk to a woman like you would a guy you just met/a guy friend, except avoid super logical or scientific topics.

I don't know who told you this, but this is only good advice if you want to turn that girl into a friend. And I'm not talking Friend with Benefits.

Socially calibrated straight men don't talk to an attractive woman like they talk to other men. Only a total rube would make that mistake. The tonal difference alone should be obvious to a woman that you're flirting. Several girlfriends have commented that they when they observed me talking on the phone, they could hear in my voice whether there was a man or a woman on the other side of the line, because my voice would get this flirty undertone when I talked over the phone with women.

So, no, only a fool talks with women like he talks with men.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

another reminder that men are the only gender that have to practice and do all the learning when it comes to knowing how to talk to or how to interact or communicate with the opposite sex. i've felt this way for years now, the way a man talks and behaves, acts, in a conversation or interaction with a woman, is what either makes or breaks attraction, not the other way around.

Another way to put it, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to women, not the other way around. True or False? A woman doesn't need to know or learn how to talk to, interact with men, its only men that need to know or learn how to talk to, interact with women.

Or another way to put it, the way the man talks, acts, behaves, in interactions or conversations is what ultimately matters, thats what determines if the woman is gonna be attracted, interested or not, not the other way around. Am i right or wrong?

I find it stupid and mind-boggling that women even seek advice on how to talk to men. Men are always the ones in position of where they can make a mistake or mess up an interaction that causes it to be boring, unattractive or make the other person uncomfortable, etc.

For example, if you type on the internet, "how to talk to women" it will produce hundreds of times, thousands of more search results than if you type "how to talk to men".