Should you reveal you are a virgin to a woman?

[NeedToImprove]

i notice that when they like me and i reveal to them that im a virgin (30 years old), they become shocked and dont stay the same with me as they were at first, like they are turned off.i thought it was different with women, that they understand this better but it seems i was wrong.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

KJ ALERT -- I'm trying to figure this out myself -- brainstorming:

I've never had any positive outcome of revealing that I was a virgin, unless you have one of those women types that get their kicks doing virgins, which are out there. It usually has connotations on it, like you are not a normal guy or have issues. The thing is, women types who like doing virgins, are very apt to dismiss you if you say something where you wont sound like a virgin. After all, they are weary, all a guy has to say is 'I'm a virgin' to get laid with her -so she knows she'll get imposters. It's also a healthy practise as far as women are concerned to do virgins, because they know fool-proof they cant get any STD's from you.

I got blocked by that type of woman, because I already had too much sex knowledge from porn to 'sound like a virgin'. The porn influence in my life has made me a living paradox, on one hand I'm a virgin, but I also have allot of 'knowledge' in my mind independent of my own experience - and may know more about different sex techniques more than non-virgins, or come across as a player who has done hundreds of women in terms of sex fantasy.



FUG's in my experience DO NOT CARE IF YOU ARE A VIRGIN, because no one wants them, so if you give them attention, they'll eat from the palm of your hands.

A woman knows whether a guy is experienced or not, so I dont think it's necessary to reveal any answer other than saying "that's for me to know and for you to find out".

 

[NeedToImprove]

so for them is a turn off ?

 

[Bvbidd]

It's pretty obvious it would be a turn-off.

No girl wants to be with a geek.

 

[NeedToImprove]

is someone considered a geek for being a virgin? thats the shallowest thing ive ever heard


if you are a virgin its because you didnt have any chances to do it, or you havent a good woman to have great sex with, someone that makes you feel comfortable. i think losing virginity to *****s is way worst than being a virgin, its a act of being desperate

 

[Luke Skywalker]

so for them is a turn off ?

Not for a FUG. Fat and Ugly girl. Even an UG may be receptive to that.
You gotta try girls that dont get allot of male attention.

There are types of women out there for every nitch that would be interested on a virgin.

How do I know - I'm not KJ on this. I put up a profile on lavalife proclaiming I'm a virgin who wanted to get laid, in Nov 2005, and Feb 10 - March 18, 2006.

Here are the results:

Nov 2005 - got a smile from a hot, blonde (hb10) girl who wanted a part-time lover while her boyfriend was out.

February 14-March 18, 2006. Few different smileys.

A 37 y/o Sweedish girl wanted to do virgins, and liked my profile. I turned her off by writing sexual fantasy posts to her and she thought I was too advanced. (oopsies - got stung on that, because I felt so luckless that even though I was a virgin, I still managed to screw up with a girl that I only had to convince that I was a virgin, or who I said I was - to get laid - what a fvck up).

A FUG - sent me porn pics of herself and her partners on my birthday and was willing to do all sorts of sexual fantasy things with me that are too raucy to describe here. Didn't care that I was a virgin. Ultimatley when I saw her though, she was even more uglier than the pics on the internet, and I just flaked out.

**********

On non-sexual relations - dating/relatoinships - I only mentioned I was a virgin to a girl who was already a virgin, and to another one that c&b, but for other reasons then my stated virginity.

 

[Hawke]

It's pretty obvious it would be a turn-off.

No girl wants to be with a geek.

For certain types i'd say that is definately true.

But being a virgin and for a good reason, some girls don't mind. For some it takes some pressure off of them, in that they won't feel they've been compared to past girls you've known. Of course that's only certain women. You always find it's best to just go with what you feel the woman will react to. If you think she'll react badly, just don't say. She doesn't need to know, just like you don't need to know about all the guys she's done.

Of course if you do care for her, and her you, then perhaps it's good to tell her. All upto your own judgement.

 

[NeedToImprove]

it's like saying your a virgin to a friend of yours, then , you ll be considered a geek, a retard and you eventually lose the girl. never thought about things that way, because i thought woman would understand the situation better than a man would, they are more sensible or so i thought

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'm wondering how the hell does the topic comes up or do you just toss it out there just to see their shocked expression.

 

[Paintballguy]

I'm wondering how the hell does the topic comes up or do you just toss it out there just to see their shocked expression.

seriously dont even talk about it.... if she asks just say no.

 

[dr0pxx]

Women are more sensible but you have to understand social conditions. Girls will wonder WHY you are still a virgin, usually the conclussion they will come to wont help you out. THe alternative is to explain yourself to her, which should be avoided for multiple reasons. If I were you I would avoid this and then share the information only before the sexual act itself, make a "moment" out of it. This will make her feel special,etc....

though I am just a kbj

dr0p

 

[theapprentice]

Nope

Dont do it that simple. Tell her after you've f8k her a few times.

Would you want to get on a plane if it was the pilots madian voyage or a surgeons first surgery.

Fud*k no. She wants the time of her life, let her know that you know how, she wont subconsciesly have an excuse to blame 'bad sex' agaisnt you.

Your sex might be great, but she can still just say, oh this guys just a virgin, hes annyoing, too arrogant blah...blah..blah.



Maybe later on tell her, when she is spell bound.

 

[everywomanshero]

Dear god I hope this is a troll post. Man, hell no I wouldn't tell her Im 30 and a virgin... because I wouldn't be 30 and a virgin....

Man this is bad, bad, bad.... I suggest flying to South America and laying 30-40 hookers to start getting over this. Get on hotornot and find South American chicks and start getitng them to bang you for free. Get on Internet dating sites and send out 300 emails per day. Then start the newbie mission when you get home. You have to take action fast man.

I have a belief that every man needs to lay at least 50 chicks to get over the scarcity mentality.
It seems to me that guys don't stop being needy until they have hit at least that mark. The dark forces of scarcity principle are strongly engrained into male brains now. You must fight the dark side by getting a ton of poon..otherwise you will keep up thius damning self-disclosure and pedastool placing behavior that always comes along with it.

remember in east of eden were the good brother isn't as desirable as James Dean, man? Think about that, she didn't want to be put on a pedastool and live with some wacko do gooder... no she wanted to LIVE and feel EVERYTHING

 

[LIME!]

I'm a bit of a late bloomer myself. It has its advantages. If I got laid when I was 16 and stupid where would I be? Married and probably divorced by now.

That said, no, there is rarely an advantage to telling girls you're a virgin. Look at how most of the guys responded to this news! Girls will think there is a reason you're a virgin. An unattractive reason. Solution: don't act like a virgin and never say you are. Your hormone levels are lower than the teenage high, making it possible for you to be less desparate for poon, if you disassociate your ego from this pursuit.

Good luck!

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Dear god I hope this is a troll post. Man, hell no I wouldn't tell her Im 30 and a virgin... because I wouldn't be 30 and a virgin....

Man this is bad, bad, bad.... I suggest flying to South America and laying 30-40 hookers to start getting over this.

I'm also a 30 y/o virgin. Let's take a look at how practical this advice is.
You are encouraging people to go to Costa-Rica or some place where these cheap 'sex-tours' are going on. But, why not Cancun, Mexico where there are lots of clubs and you could get girls for free as I've seen on another thread as they are in adventerous mood there?

Get on hotornot and find South American chicks and start getitng them to bang you for free.

I am on hotornot myself. Explain to us how to do that.

Get on Internet dating sites and send out 300 emails per day.

Does not work. Unless you have a really good picture and profile that stands out, then just sending emails out doesn't work. ON pay as you go sites that charge per message, say like lavalife, that would cost like over $ 800 to send 300 messages, $ 800 a day to a dating site?
On monthly membership or free sites, you dont have that many great choices.

If you were to send 300 emails, you'd get the worst quality girls if you are lucky, because the content of mass emails would be so watered down that it would lose any effects. Emails have to be thought out, you have to show that you read the person's profile and are not some 'spammer', and with all the time that would take, you'd probably be doing fine to send 12 emails a day.

Getting laid with ANYONE isn't an answer anyway, you have to feel connected with a girl to some level rather than just do any broad, suppose she has STD's or something.

Anyway - I've tried internet for that and all I got was a FUG. Again, your quick solutions do not work. Getting laid with 50 FUG's or UG'S (<3), I dont think so.

Then start the newbie mission when you get home. You have to take action fast man.

Sure, if you introduce yourself to 25 women a day, and tell them "Now that we know each other on a first name's basis, do you want to fvck?" hear that works 1 out of 25 woman - but I'm not sure about public places like malls and stuff like that. Likely allot of women would be offended by that line, never tried it personally though.

Other than that, the newbie mission seems to just have you go out like a retard saying 'hi' to everyone, like they'll just magically be intrigued - you still have to close them.

 

[SexPDX]

I have no experience having been a non-virgin since 18, but I can definitely say that pretty much all women are going to assume a guy who is deep in his twenties or certainly his thirties is not a virgin. If she gives you the third degree about your past you can present yourself as not all that experienced, which in most cases will be fine. Even though I have been with a lot of women I actually haven't had a large number of LTR's so I can be pretty well in character if I decide I want to appear somewhat inexperienced.

Can you blame women for being a little taken aback? It is simply not normal human experience that a man remains a virgin until the age of 30. It is so unpredictable how they will react to that that I think it is best to avoid telling them.

 

[*******]

There's no reason to say you are a virgin. the first girl i ****ed' said "i bet you've ****ed' like 20 girls before"...I left it at that. the only one who should know is you.

 

[Chosen1]

There's no reason to say you are a virgin. the first girl i ****ed' said "i bet you've ****ed' like 20 girls before"...I left it at that. the only one who should know is you.

That is some what true one girl i liked said that I wasn't a virgin and i kept trying to tell her that i was she didn't believe but i acted nervous with another girl and she could tell i was a virgin is in the way you act don't act nervous and you'll do just fine also no more of these virgins posts

 

[Freddy1]

Telling her your virgin is not a good ideal (in most cases). As others has pointed out she going to ask herself "why?" and come to the conclusion that your a virgin because you couldnt get anyone to sleep with you. She will think there must be some sort of personality "fault" you have.

Also being a virgin also means you may not be good in bed and dont know how to please her. (At least in her mind). She will take it negatively.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

What would the benifit be from telling her? Why do guys do this? Take the flip side, let's say you're a Man Wh0re; would you tell her? Where's the benifit in that? Some things are just senseless if you take the time to think about them.