In the Kingdom of Paranoida, men had their fingernails and toenails pulled out. Originally this was said to prevent masturbation, but eventually ad hoc arguments were piled on. Fathers would have their sons go through the same treatment, always before the sons were old enough to choose, because otherwise the fathers had to accept that something had been done to themselves that had screwed up their bodies for life. And they didn't want to hear that. Plus the doctors always wanted to do the procedure, it gave them more work.
Let's listen to three guys from Paranoida, Paddo, Chuck and Lambert, meeting their friend Mane from Europa.
"So, you guys are all mutilated?" Mane asked incredulously.
"We're not mutilated!" said Paddo. "We just had parts of our body cut off. I don't know why you would call that mutilation."
"Okay. So this ... procedure, what's it for?"
"It's for preventing masturbation," said Chuck. "Makes your fingers too tender to grab the pole."
"No, that was in the religious past," Paddo explained. "And it never worked. But no one could oppose it, because then it would seem he was pro-masturbation. But it is great for preventing dirt. One less area to clean."
"Yeah!" nodded Lambert. "Dirt gets under your nails real easily. I have heard stories about that. And nails get infected. I have heard stories about that. Much better to remove them."
"Okay. So you would also torch your armpits, scar them real good so you could never get sweaty under there?" asked Mane.
"No," exclaimed Chuck. "That would be terrible."
"Why? Same thing."
"Not the same thing. Because that is not a common procedure. So that's totally different."
"Whereas pulling out your nails has been promoted by Sucks in the City," said Paddo. "They usually bash every old tradition ... but not this one! The producer seems to really like it."
"And who are we to question Sucks in the City?" asked Lambert.
"Women also like men without nails," Chuck went on. "The women in Paranoida live with nail-less men all around them throughout their lives, and I have never heard a woman piss off all the men around her by saying she thinks it is a ridiculous practice."
"And who are we to question women?" asked Lambert.
"That's not the case with Europan women," said Mane. "I have a hard time convincing them that yes, Paranoid men really do have their nails pulled out. When they finally realize it's true, they can't think of Paranoid men the same way. They think a little less of them. Men who have been mutilated - it's unavoidable." But he went on: "Note that I don't think there is any shame in having it done to you when you were a kid. You were defenseless and couldn't help it, exactly as your parents and the doctor intended. That's why they hurried to do it to you before you could have a say. But ... to do it to your own son, just so you don't have to feel that irreparable damage was done to you ... that's really bad. Really self-centered. That should be criminalized."
"But ... dirt! Infections!" objected Paddo.
"Dirt! Infections!" repeated Chuck and Lambert.
What else could they say? The mutilation had already been done to them.