Should you ever give a girl YOUR number?

[Cloutier]

Hello SoSuave family!

Alright, please bear with me because I'm new at this as I'm trying to finally come out of my wussy shell.

So there's this Starbucks barista that I have a crush on. She is really friendly towards me and always ask me how my day is and what I did over the weekend. Whether or not she really wanted to know, I don't know. I just assume it's because they have to be friendly. I'm also pretty sure they get hit on by people on a daily basis, as I wouldn't expect anything less. Anyway... with how crowded that store gets, I felt too scared to directly ask her number in front of everyone. Hell, it took me a few days but I did muster up the courage to hand her a piece of paper with my number on it. I just said, "Hey ___, I enjoy talking to you when I can and if you'd like to know me better here is my number." She took the paper and smiled and said "Thank you."

All I can say is, I felt good about giving her my number. It's a breakthrough for me as lame as that sounds. But it's been two weeks and I haven't heard from her. I guess she's not interested. Her loss right? I still visit this Starbucks a few times a week, mostly because I need my coffee. If I see her, she acts as if everything is normal and I do as well because I don't want to make it weird. Since it's been two weeks, should I call her out on it for not ever calling/texting me or leave it be?

Either way, I know that ship has sailed so I'm not too bothered by it. I just want to know... Should you ever give a girl your number? Or should you always ask for theirs no matter what?

 

[Suspens]

Since it's been two weeks, should I call her out on it for not ever calling/texting me or leave it be?

Haha, WTF.

No.

Either way, I know that ship has sailed so I'm not too bothered by it. I just want to know... Should you ever give a girl your number? Or should you always ask for theirs no matter what?

By giving your number, you are already handing your power to her. But also you won't need to invest that much, if she is interested she will give you a call.

By asking for her number, you are playing your natural role and leading the interaction. You can call her anytime and ask for a meetup and if she refuses then GTFO.

 

[Von]

In business or sales: if you give your card.... you giving the other person the control... and they never call

If you take her card, you have the control and initiative.

The only time: giving your card works is if the person is 100% interested... so you need à 100% interest rate. Hence, when they call, close the date, right away

You did good for a first move. Now, go NC, and pick up numbers from other girl.

remember rejection is never personal

 

[Building_and_Loan]

I've only gone this route once and didn't go well. She had pretty high interest too, as I know she liked me.

At the time, I had read that doing this projects an apathetic, outcome-independent attitude towards the situation, but in reality I don't think that's how it came across.

Girls are nervous, insecure, shy, and want to follow a guy's lead. Giving her your number puts her in control, which she doesn't want.

 

[AlphaNate]

I cringe when guys use "crush"

 

[TheProspect]

If you're parting ways with a girl you just met who is seemingly interested in you and she suggests to you "you should give me your number" it is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as you take the lead in any further interactions with her from that point on.

However, if she says that exact line after you ask for her number then I would reply "no thanks" and walk away.

 

[bigneil]

Giving a girl your number is a pvssy move designed to avoid rejection. Women want men who aren't afraid to be rejected. Even if she liked you, that would blow it.

You need to cut to the chase.

I met a bartender today and she asked how tall I was. I said "Why, are you looking for a tall guy?" and she said "I'm not sure..." and I said "Are you single?" and she said "Yes!". She then ran around the bar and asked me to stand up and stood next to me and asked the other girl what a great couple we were. And for the "If you have money you are beta" crowd, note I had spent $0 at that point.

 

[PatientOne]

In ANY situation where your number is going to be given to a chick, you should pull out your cellphone and say, "Text me, so that I have your number." I would never volunteer my number, but if I was asked for mine, I would say, "You first," or pull out my phone and test her.

If she doesn't, for ANY reason, NEXT. If she says, "I don't have my phone," she is a liar. What chick in this day and age doesn't have a cellphone when she goes out?

 

[Cloutier]

Thank you for the replies. Good insight all around. Live and learn right?

By giving your number, you are already handing your power to her. But also you won't need to invest that much, if she is interested she will give you a call.

By asking for her number, you are playing your natural role and leading the interaction. You can call her anytime and ask for a meetup and if she refuses then GTFO.

The only time: giving your card works is if the person is 100% interested... so you need à 100% interest rate. Hence, when they call, close the date, right away

You did good for a first move. Now, go NC, and pick up numbers from other girl.

remember rejection is never personal

Interesting. That was the tough part because I thought she was interested enough because any time I'm there and it's crowded she doesn't bother asking anyone else there how they're doing, what they did during the weekend, etc. But ultimately, I think she was just being friendly. I could be over thinking it for all I know. But thank you Von, as lame of a first move it was... I felt good about it at the time. And I agree with your statement at the end. Rejection is never personal. If they don't feel that way, then they don't.

I've only gone this route once and didn't go well. She had pretty high interest too, as I know she liked me.

At the time, I had read that doing this projects an apathetic, outcome-independent attitude towards the situation, but in reality I don't think that's how it came across.

Girls are nervous, insecure, shy, and want to follow a guy's lead. Giving her your number puts her in control, which she doesn't want.

If only they would stop playing mind games too.. dating would be so much easier.

Giving a girl your number is a pvssy move designed to avoid rejection. Women want men who aren't afraid to be rejected. Even if she liked you, that would blow it.

You need to cut to the chase.

I met a bartender today and she asked how tall I was. I said "Why, are you looking for a tall guy?" and she said "I'm not sure..." and I said "Are you single?" and she said "Yes!". She then ran around the bar and asked me to stand up and stood next to me and asked the other girl what a great couple we were. And for the "If you have money you are beta" crowd, note I had spent $0 at that point.

Thank you Big Neil. I never even thought of it that way. At the time when I gave my number, I never once thought "I'm going to give her my number so that she doesn't turn me down if I ask for hers." I just felt scared of asking for it in front of everyone else. Hopefully in time I can make that feeling go away. Cut to the chase... I will remember that.

In ANY situation where your number is going to be given to a chick, you should pull out your cellphone and say, "Text me, so that I have your number." I would never volunteer my number, but if I was asked for mine, I would say, "You first," or pull out my phone and test her.

If she doesn't, for ANY reason, NEXT. If she says, "I don't have my phone," she is a liar. What chick in this day and age doesn't have a cellphone when she goes out?

It would be easy to bust them on it since a phone is usually sticking out of their back pocket.

Thank you guys for the replies. I now know that I will get her number first rather than give it out.

 

[Red Legg]

I'll give her my line 2 app number....

 

[Juanto]

"If you have money you are beta" crowd, note I had spent $0 at that point.

This is not you, bigneil

 

[Tenacity]

Hello SoSuave family!

Alright, please bear with me because I'm new at this as I'm trying to finally come out of my wussy shell.

So there's this Starbucks barista that I have a crush on. She is really friendly towards me and always ask me how my day is and what I did over the weekend. Whether or not she really wanted to know, I don't know. I just assume it's because they have to be friendly. I'm also pretty sure they get hit on by people on a daily basis, as I wouldn't expect anything less. Anyway... with how crowded that store gets, I felt too scared to directly ask her number in front of everyone. Hell, it took me a few days but I did muster up the courage to hand her a piece of paper with my number on it. I just said, "Hey ___, I enjoy talking to you when I can and if you'd like to know me better here is my number." She took the paper and smiled and said "Thank you."

All I can say is, I felt good about giving her my number. It's a breakthrough for me as lame as that sounds. But it's been two weeks and I haven't heard from her. I guess she's not interested. Her loss right? I still visit this Starbucks a few times a week, mostly because I need my coffee. If I see her, she acts as if everything is normal and I do as well because I don't want to make it weird. Since it's been two weeks, should I call her out on it for not ever calling/texting me or leave it be?

Either way, I know that ship has sailed so I'm not too bothered by it. I just want to know... Should you ever give a girl your number? Or should you always ask for theirs no matter what?

I always close by giving the girl MY number and telling her to text me. If she's serious/interested, she will either text me almost immediately or give me her number to text her.

When I used to run around getting their numbers, I would have a PHONE BOOK before you know it and most of the numbers/chicks went no where.

 

[dude99]

Hello SoSuave family!

Alright, please bear with me because I'm new at this as I'm trying to finally come out of my wussy shell.

So there's this Starbucks barista that I have a crush on. She is really friendly towards me and always ask me how my day is and what I did over the weekend. Whether or not she really wanted to know, I don't know. I just assume it's because they have to be friendly. I'm also pretty sure they get hit on by people on a daily basis, as I wouldn't expect anything less. Anyway... with how crowded that store gets, I felt too scared to directly ask her number in front of everyone. Hell, it took me a few days but I did muster up the courage to hand her a piece of paper with my number on it. I just said, "Hey ___, I enjoy talking to you when I can and if you'd like to know me better here is my number." She took the paper and smiled and said "Thank you."

All I can say is, I felt good about giving her my number. It's a breakthrough for me as lame as that sounds. But it's been two weeks and I haven't heard from her. I guess she's not interested. Her loss right? I still visit this Starbucks a few times a week, mostly because I need my coffee. If I see her, she acts as if everything is normal and I do as well because I don't want to make it weird. Since it's been two weeks, should I call her out on it for not ever calling/texting me or leave it be?

Either way, I know that ship has sailed so I'm not too bothered by it. I just want to know... Should you ever give a girl your number? Or should you always ask for theirs no matter what?

First things first. Never "crush.," on a girl. You are setting up oneitus, and you will come across too thirsty.

Do not call her out. No point in that. She isn't interested, she isn't interested.

As for you giving your number, i would always always always recomend asking her for hers. This way you can judge interest level right on the spot.

Can i have your number?
Sure its zxx-xxx-xxxx = INTERESTED.

ANYTHING ELSE. NOT INTERESTED.

Any um any i dunno any we will see anything but yes is a sign if low to no interest.

When you ask her for her number it shows you have confidence in yourself. Girls naturally find confidence attractive.

When you give your numbet two things happen. One. You have no clue if she is interested or not because she can always throw the paper away later when you are not there. Two. She sees this as weakness and lack of confidence. She won't call. She will wait for the alpha male to come into her life and take charge.

I always recomend asking for her number. This will cut the crap right away and you can stop wasting your time if she isn't interested

 

[Cloutier]

The problem with giving your number is that this tactic is only really effective when a woman's interest level is high enough that she would give you her number if you asked.

I understand why you decided to do it, and I believe you were on the right track thinking the way you did. But there is a better way.

If she's chatting you up and asking about your weekend activities, you have the perfect scenario to ask her out without actually making it sound formal and obvious. If you're describing some weekend activity of yours in this conversation with her and she responds with "Oh that sounds fun/cool/interesting" or whatever, you simply respond with, "Hey, you should come out with me/us if you're ever interested. You'll enjoy it". And that's it.

With one, simple response in a very natural flow of conversation, you have asked her out without the awkwardness of a formal date proposal & number exchange. Women typically smile in response to this, regardless of their interest level. Some will react with definite interest, in which case you have a pretty solid "yes" and you can ask for her number. Now you have a date activity set up and her contact info. All that's left to do is get in touch and set up a day/time.

Some will react to this approach with a smile and a "maybe", which could actually be a maybe, a soft rejection or possibly just the option for her to consider it. Let it go, keep chatting with her as you normally do and try again some other time down the road. If at that point you don't get that high interest response, move on.

Thank you for your response Amante. Wow, that is an awesome way to transition into asking someone out. I will definitely need to keep that in mind with other girls down the line. As for the barista I gave my number to... I'm not sure what the hell happened at that Starbucks store but they pretty much got rid of everyone there in one fell swoop. I know they always have turnover but this was extreme. I remember the baristas were telling me that their manager was leaving and that they're all sad to see her go. Then this week, there was a new manager and everyone in the store was brand new. I'm not talking about 1-2 new workers but all 6 of them on shift were new. I popped in on Tuesday to see what's up and there were even more new people there. So much for chatting up that barista! Now I don't even know what happened to her... lol.

But still, thanks for the reply and I will be sure to remember what you said for future reference.

I always close by giving the girl MY number and telling her to text me. If she's serious/interested, she will either text me almost immediately or give me her number to text her.

When I used to run around getting their numbers, I would have a PHONE BOOK before you know it and most of the numbers/chicks went no where.

Interesting. So you're the only one in this thread that says you give them your number to close. That's comforting to know.

First things first. Never "crush.," on a girl. You are setting up oneitus, and you will come across too thirsty.

Do not call her out. No point in that. She isn't interested, she isn't interested.

As for you giving your number, i would always always always recomend asking her for hers. This way you can judge interest level right on the spot.

Can i have your number?
Sure its zxx-xxx-xxxx = INTERESTED.

ANYTHING ELSE. NOT INTERESTED.

Any um any i dunno any we will see anything but yes is a sign if low to no interest.

When you ask her for her number it shows you have confidence in yourself. Girls naturally find confidence attractive.

When you give your numbet two things happen. One. You have no clue if she is interested or not because she can always throw the paper away later when you are not there. Two. She sees this as weakness and lack of confidence. She won't call. She will wait for the alpha male to come into her life and take charge.

I always recomend asking for her number. This will cut the crap right away and you can stop wasting your time if she isn't interested

Thanks as well dude99. I figured as much about not calling her out. I wanted to keep things as normal as I could so I don't come off as creepy or whatever. I kept thinking at the time, "Hey, if you're really interested.. you have my number." But like you said, she probably could have discarded my number as soon as I left the store so whatever right? Can't force them to like you.

Anyway, I really do appreciate the responses. It's a good lesson to be learned. I'm still new at this so I'm all ears. For far too long do I just go about my day and not make a move. I kept waiting for something to happen on its own but nothing does.