Should you ever compliment a girl on her looks?

[Reyaj]

I am serious with this question.... I always have it in my head that when you compliment a girl's appearance you were lowering your value and also basically giving her power by telegraphing too much interest.

I guess this question is more towards the early dating phase.... If you go on a first date or meet with a girl should you ever compliment her appearance?

I never do but I wonder if it could ever be advantageous?

 

[bcude]

Everything depends on what kind of man you're and what kind of vibe you're sending out.
But is it generally advantageous? No.
If you're unsure don't compliment on her looks until you've had sex with her to keep it simple.
Compliments should be given sincerely and preferably tailored to something that's unique to her where she had to put some thought and effort into it ie. fashion, makeup etc. since it's not something she hears everyday and she will appreciate it much more. It also shows that you're aware of details.

 

[Visionist]

It can actually be the key to a cold approach. Direct and to the point.

Here's the kicker; it has to be genuine.

She actually does have to be a beauty when you open her up by telling her she is. And you have to genuinely be moved by her looks, not just saying it; you have to let your guard down and be vulnerable, take the risk. No game. That means no 8s and sure as sh!t no 7s. Only 9s and the ever elusive 10s.

Whilst she's told she's beautiful all day, every day online, few guys actually have the balls to say it to her face, from a validator's position ie. from a guy who clearly has high value himself (and if you aren't looksmaxed, cold approach is gonna be a waste of time) and not from a needy position, seeking validation.

What I'm saying is that you can open a woman you've never met or talked to with "hey, you're strikingly beautiful"/"hey, you're a rare stunner"/"hey, you look exquisite" and it won't be cringy or needy. Because you aren't supplicating to her when you say it. You're making a statement. You aren't begging her for anything.

If done properly ie. from a position of authenticity and value, she won't look down upon you for saying it. Quite the opposite. She will look up to you as someone who gives her value rather than someone supplicating to her own perceived value (and all women are insecure about their value; that's why trying to fool her that she looks good when she doesn't is a No-No).

TL-DR: if you truly find a woman beautiful and it's making you feel weak inside, you can say so. It won't hurt your chances because the fact you feel weak means you aren't getting with her anyways. There can be no doubt in her chaotic female mind that you're a sexual being and not one for the friendzone.

Just be willing to walk away after she's blushed and said "thankyou" if she doesn't immediately wanna spend time with you or at least give you her number and display strong IOIs back.

 

[nismo-4]

It could work if you're Chad or Tyrone. Or if you've had sex already. OP, for a first meet or date, the answer is no for the very reasons you stated.

 

[Atom Smasher]

My policy has always been: never. If you’re talking to her, she fully knows that you find her attractive. Beautiful women crave to be valued for something other than looks. Complimenting her on her looks immediately puts you into her mental and emotional “file cabinet” as just another salivating admirer.

When I first met my fiancé, whom I met from an online site, by the way, I was pleasantly surprised to see that she looked way better than her already attractive profile picture. I never complimented nor mentioned her looks, and she is a stunner.

Once, via text, I floated a vague compliment about her appearance, and I could tell that she didn’t value that very much at all. My usual modus operandi is to tell her how I’m obviously the “cute one” in the relationship, but she’s ok too. She loves it.

I think the best rule of thumb is to differentiate yourself by finding other, less tangible things to compliment her on.

Have you guys ever seen a YouTube video of a woman doing anything at all, and in the comments you see all these guys saying “You’re so beautiful”? It gives you a sickening feeling, doesn’t it? These simps are telegraphing loud and clear that she has them under her spell, just because of her hair and makeup. We need to differentiate ourselves from being categorized as one of them.

 

[Reyaj]

Everything depends on what kind of man you're and what kind of vibe you're sending out.
But is it generally advantageous? No.
If you're unsure don't compliment on her looks until you've had sex with her to keep it simple.
Compliments should be given sincerely and preferably tailored to something that's unique to her where she had to put some thought and effort into it ie. fashion, makeup etc. since it's not something she hears everyday and she will appreciate it much more. It also shows that you're aware of details.

Yeah I've definitely read from multiple sources complimeneting something she chooses is better than something she doesn't. For example her shirt versus her eyes etc..

It can actually be the key to a cold approach. Direct and to the point.

Here's the kicker; it has to be genuine.

She actually does have to be a beauty when you open her up by telling her she is. And you have to genuinely be moved by her looks, not just saying it; you have to let your guard down and be vulnerable, take the risk. No game. That means no 8s and sure as sh!t no 7s. Only 9s and the ever elusive 10s.

Whilst she's told she's beautiful all day, every day online, few guys actually have the balls to say it to her face, from a validator's position ie. from a guy who clearly has high value himself (and if you aren't looksmaxed, cold approach is gonna be a waste of time) and not from a needy position, seeking validation.

What I'm saying is that you can open a woman you've never met or talked to with "hey, you're strikingly beautiful"/"hey, you're a rare stunner"/"hey, you look exquisite" and it won't be cringy or needy. Because you aren't supplicating to her when you say it. You're making a statement. You aren't begging her for anything.

If done properly ie. from a position of authenticity and value, she won't look down upon you for saying it. Quite the opposite. She will look up to you as someone who gives her value rather than someone supplicating to her own perceived value (and all women are insecure about their value; that's why trying to fool her that she looks good when she doesn't is a No-No).

TL-DR: if you truly find a woman beautiful and it's making you feel weak inside, you can say so. It won't hurt your chances because the fact you feel weak means you aren't getting with her anyways. There can be no doubt in her chaotic female mind that you're a sexual being and not one for the friendzone.

Just be willing to walk away after she's blushed and said "thankyou" if she doesn't immediately wanna spend time with you or at least give you her number and display strong IOIs back.

I always felt there could be something to a good delivery with looks complimenting but through some experiments a while back it really hasn't been too successful. I also do have to whole heartedlty disagree that very attractive women aren't told by many guys in person they are beautiful. I am sure they hear these compliments more times than they can count. I do like the "you look exquisite" as I don't think that is one used too common.

My policy has always been: never. If you’re talking to her, she fully knows that you find her attractive. Beautiful women crave to be valued for something other than looks. Complimenting her on her looks immediately puts you into her mental and emotional “file cabinet” as just another salivating admirer.

When I first met my fiancé, whom I met from an online site, by the way, I was pleasantly surprised to see that she looked way better than her already attractive profile picture. I never complimented nor mentioned her looks, and she is a stunner.

Once, via text, I floated a vague compliment about her appearance, and I could tell that she didn’t value that very much at all. My usual modus operandi is to tell her how I’m obviously the “cute one” in the relationship, but she’s ok too. She loves it.

I think the best rule of thumb is to differentiate yourself by finding other, less tangible things to compliment her on.

Have you guys ever seen a YouTube video of a woman doing anything at all, and in the comments you see all these guys saying “You’re so beautiful”? It gives you a sickening feeling, doesn’t it? These simps are telegraphing loud and clear that she has them under her spell, just because of her hair and makeup. We need to differentiate ourselves from being categorized as one of them.

Amen.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I am serious with this question.... I always have it in my head that when you compliment a girl's appearance you were lowering your value and also basically giving her power by telegraphing too much interest.

I guess this question is more towards the early dating phase.... If you go on a first date or meet with a girl should you ever compliment her appearance?

I never do but I wonder if it could ever be advantageous?

I do. I've never found it to be bad. Girls get all giggly and happy.

 

[sosousage]

only after sex to trick her reward system

 

[CopperHead]

What about complimenting them during sex?

 

[Reyaj]

What about complimenting them during sex?

does uhhhh ahhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh count as compliment?

 

[glass half full]

Make them earn compliments, use them sparingly.
I only compliment her when she does something very very well.
Their egos don't need much help these days. Lol

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Totally depends on the scenario.

If you cold approach a girl, you kind of have to compliment her appearance in order to set the frame of the interaction so she knows why you are talking to her. AKA being direct.

If, for whatever reason, it is already established why you are seeing her, that it's romantic, I generally will not compliment her on her appearance. Women want to date as far above their league as they can and one of the signals they look for is a guy who isn't enthralled with their looks (in other words, complimenting her looks could be perceived to mean he doesn't usually get girls as hot as her). You want her to think you are attracted to her but only just-enough to date. Third-wave feminism has also taught girls to reject/dislike compliments on appearance, even though they secretly love to receive them. If you are going to compliment her it's best to compliment her on something she did something about - like an interesting dress or cool shoes..... a unique hairstyle, or something about her attitude, ambition, humor, outlook, etc.

 

[Suave88]

I am serious with this question.... I always have it in my head that when you compliment a girl's appearance you were lowering your value and also basically giving her power by telegraphing too much interest.

I guess this question is more towards the early dating phase.... If you go on a first date or meet with a girl should you ever compliment her appearance?

I never do but I wonder if it could ever be advantageous?

I only speak from my experience. So to answer your question, I say "NO" But I have done it and when I have done is always and ONLY when I am thrusting my peenes inside of her or after I have fvcked her at least once. NEVER before.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Make them earn compliments, use them sparingly.
I only compliment her when she does something very very well.
Their egos don't need much help these days. Lol

Very good observations

 

[Reyaj]

Totally depends on the scenario.

If you cold approach a girl, you kind of have to compliment her appearance in order to set the frame of the interaction so she knows why you are talking to her. AKA being direct.

If, for whatever reason, it is already established why you are seeing her, that it's romantic, I generally will not compliment her on her appearance. Women want to date as far above their league as they can and one of the signals they look for is a guy who isn't enthralled with their looks (in other words, complimenting her looks could be perceived to mean he doesn't usually get girls as hot as her). You want her to think you are attracted to her but only just-enough to date. Third-wave feminism has also taught girls to reject/dislike compliments on appearance, even though they secretly love to receive them. If you are going to compliment her it's best to compliment her on something she did something about - like an interesting dress or cool shoes..... a unique hairstyle, or something about her attitude, ambition, humor, outlook, etc.

Most of the cold approaches I've done haven't been where I complimented their looks. Usually I just strike up a casual conversation then go for the number .

Your second paragraph is more of how I look at it.

 

[zekko]

Compliments should be given sincerely and preferably tailored to something that's unique to her where she had to put some thought and effort into it ie. fashion, makeup etc. since it's not something she hears everyday and she will appreciate it much more.

I agree with what you're saying, but this (like many PUA tips) strikes me as being kind of supplicating. In the sense that it's not good enough to compliment her appearance, you have to also make her feel that she personally brought it about by her intelligence and creativity. It also irritates me that I have to hide that I like the way she looks. It seems like it would be more manly to just say "Woman, I like what I'm seeing". Not that I would use that line, but you get the drift.

If, for whatever reason, it is already established why you are seeing her, that it's romantic, I generally will not compliment her on her appearance. Women want to date as far above their league as they can and one of the signals they look for is a guy who isn't enthralled with their looks (in other words, complimenting her looks could be perceived to mean he doesn't usually get girls as hot as her). You want her to think you are attracted to her but only just-enough to date.

Again, I agree with what you're saying. I just feel like it's a shame that we can't honestly appreciate a woman's appearance, because of "game" or ego or whatever. Because let's face it, a woman's appearance is what draws us to them.

 

[GeeMale]

You should only compliment when she has done something for you.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Again, I agree with what you're saying. I just feel like it's a shame that we can't honestly appreciate a woman's appearance, because of "game" or ego or whatever. Because let's face it, a woman's appearance is what draws us to them.

I agree it is a shame but you said it yourself... it is part of the game... the dance that is between a man and a woman. And you can appreciate her appearance without saying so. Your appreciation also manifests itself in the way you look at her, touch her, escalate with her, etc. I would dare to say the majority of attractive women have a negative association with being told by a guy that they are attractive. It’s because they hear it all the time and it isn’t unique and they see it like they see “nice guys”: guys using the same words they have heard 1000000x before to try to get into her pants. That’s boring for women. They’d MUCH prefer waiting and wondering about a guy who seems somewhat into them, but not completely sold, and also seems high value. A guy like that isn’t going to compliment them on their looks much, if ever. He could go get a hotter girl.

If, when, and how to compliment a woman is, in my opinion, a very delicate and nuanced subject and I think it’s a very good question to ask and discuss. I’ve done it incorrectly enough in the past to have learned a lot about it.

Some things I have learned through my own experiences (always the hard way, of course):

You can compliment a woman who is really into you any time you want.

There shouldn’t be a big gap between how often she compliments you and how often you compliment her.

Early on in the dating (before sex especially), women are mostly focused on judging your value.... your desireability to other women and how successful you are with other women. You have to be very careful during this time regarding how much validation you give her. Generally, the less the better at this time.

Compliments about nearly any aspect of her will be more appreciated and more striking than a compliment on her looks.

It is always better to compliment her on something she did herself, than something genetic. For example, if she is a natural red head, don’t compliment her on her beautiful
red hair as she did nothing for it and it’s not really a compliment. If she works out really hard and has incredible legs then complimenting her legs would be appropriate because they are the product of her deliberate effort.

So many women have been brainwashed by third wave feminism that if your compliment is about her body, especially early on, an indirect compliment is a often better accepted. Like, “those jeans look incredible on you” instead of “you have incredibly sexy long legs.” Plus you are complimenting her on something she did (her fashion sense and awareness in picking a pair of jeans that are flattering to her).

 

[skinnyguy]

i don't think you can compliment them on their looks for the purpose of getting laid.

if there is another purpose, maybe.

 

[Kotaix]

All women are insecure, some more than others. You should compliment a woman's looks if she is worthy of a compliment and if she has earned it by her actions towards you.

If you do think she's pretty, and you think it would help address some insecurity that she has shown, and you do want to help her be a better match for you. Then yes you should say it.

Never say it as part of game, never say it as part of a throwaway line. Telling a woman she's pretty to earn her favor does not work, you just feed her ego and diminish your own value

Edit: I think that in general, deeply insecure people usually don't believe it when they're told they are attractive, even if they are. This is why using it as a pickup line is doomed to failure, it comes across as patronizing.