Should we be seeking virgins as our life partner?

[Reyaj]

Did anyone chuckle reading that? Probably because those who lives in the US will be hard pressed to find this among mature age groups. Well I'm being serious. I actually had an interesting PM with Colossus a little while back regarding this very topic. For those of you who are aware, Colossus married a virgin and says he is very happy with her and his decision. I'll let him chime in where he wants to regarding this, but I wanted to open this up for a legit discussion.

There's 2 main reasons I think finding a virgin is attractive
1. The empowering feeling of knowing you are the only guy who has been in there
2. She isn't jaded sexually from other men

The cons are
1. She may one day be sexually curious to try someone else
2. Since sex is something natural and biological that occurs

I grew up with religious influence to the point where I was disgusted thinking a girl that was with another guy prior to marriage was a whorre. But as I decided to find things out for myself as a young adult, I realized sex was natural and most people who are in relationships are going to do it. I am with someone now who isn't a virgin but I get along with great and we click. All that matters is how we feel about each other now and not our past. Still if her not being virgin means she is damaged goods somehow then should I be seeking a virgin? Even Des said in another post that if a woman has been with 5 guys or more she is compromised. I don't know how many guys my girl has been with before me and I don't really want to ask... I don't consider her a slvt but I know she isn't a virgin. I am just confused as hell now..

 

[sodbuster]

well, if she's able to give you the best BJ you've ever had in your life {and you've had a few}, she learned somewhere..... As long as it doesn't bother you, go with the flow. BUT, when you can't get any during Marriage and you remember she did it earlier for "a movie and popcorn" when she was younger. Ask yourself if it bothers you now?

 

[glass half full]

At my age if I find a virgin I'm either screwing a girl my daughter's age, or someone so fat and ugly that I can see marks on her where guys have been touching her with their ten-foot poles!!
I think leaving the country is a better option....My therapist disagrees, but this way you find one who isn't jaded by American Feminazi-BS cr@p. But I'm still open to other suggestions.

 

[Colossus]

My thoughts on this are well-documented here. I'm not trying to convince anyone that this is the only way to go.

I will say that if you do happen to find a girl that you click with, has a good upbringing and morals and happens to be a virgin---you should hold this in very high regard. Because you probably wont meet a girl like her ever again. Remember, a virgin is a blank slate.

That said, you can definitely be happy with a non-virgin. In my "10 things to look for in a wife" post I wrote a few years back, I suggested less than 5 lifetime partners. I still stand by this recommendation. As you get older of course things change...at 40+ if you meet a virgin she's either prohibitively young or undateable. I just think the fewer, the better.

And regarding the sexual curiosity argument, this could happen with anyone. In fact, I'd argue it's more likely to happen with a girl who has a history of promiscuity, because this is a bridge she's already crossed. When you take a girl's virginity (especially within an LTR/marriage) you are imprinting yourself on her, and unless you allow some massive value disparity to occur (like becoming a stay-at-home dad or a total loser), she just has no emotional impetus to go out looking for a bigger better deal.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Reyaz,
Sure if I came from your culture I would feel that way...For an Anglo?...Well would you buy a car without taking it around the block?...crazy really.

 

[MrWood]

China has a high population of virgins, routinely up to 26y
I flew out one, 29yo had only 1 partner before
she was a dead fvck until the end of the week when I sent her home...
trained and ruined 4 life.

 

[Desdinova]

When you take a girl's virginity (especially within an LTR/marriage) you are imprinting yourself on her,

The way I see it, sex isn't the ultimate way to imprint yourself on her. You have to do that with her emotions. Her being a virgin just guarantees the correct climate to do so.

My current gf had one BF before I fvcked her, and one BF after I fvcked her. You read that correctly. I imprinted myself on her emotionally, and she wasn't able to get over me. She was just an orbiter when I fvcked her.

When I made contact with her again after almost a year of NC, she flat out said that she wanted to be my GF or be nothing. I decided to give it a shot, and I haven't regretted it thus far. She seemingly has a death grip on me when she grabs my hand and holds it. It's as if she never wants to let go. THAT is what you want in a woman.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Concur Desdinova, same in my case, the cure for feminism might be PUA marriage to virgins.

 

[Colossus]

The way I see it, sex isn't the ultimate way to imprint yourself on her. You have to do that with her emotions. Her being a virgin just guarantees the correct climate to do so.

Absolutely.

 

[speed dawg]

If you are a virgin, then yeah maybe so. I mean technically, the answer to your question is yes. Practically, how are you going to do this? The OP is talking about empowerment, ha. I think you're on the wrong path if power is your goal.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Speed Dog,
You make several valid points....This wish to dominate and control Women went out with lace up boots,rather primitive....Mr Woods experience also rang true for me....On my scene,I mix with a lot of Mainland Chinese Women...I like them very much,they seem to be controlled by their Men...Are they?...NO,no,no...they all get their own way but do it in such a devious and clever way that no one realises it..Plenty of Virgins over 35 on this scene...One I observed and knew,was 42,never been kissed,met a Plumber,nice Guy...After a short courtship they married and settled down,big house,mortgage a young Kid,the whole freakin disaster...three years down the track,they both seem misery personified...in confidence he confided that his Svex life was just about Zero,they lead separate lives within their huge home...Wonderful Huh?...From long experience with both Animals and Humans,I believe no one is,as some here see it a blank slate...No we inherit instincts,they lie there dormant for many basic behaviours,Svex being one...However the triggers for these instincts needs to be pulled in ones younger days,otherwise although you go through the motions,you are never the full crate of beer...The Wolf Children of India are a good example of this,though examples were rescued and "Civilised"there are no records of their ever talking even walking on two legs...On my Dancing Scene,there are many who want to learn at an advanced age,but unless in the past,they Danced, played a musical instrument or became extremely well co-ordinated by a Sportspersons life,they will never cut the mustard.

 

[Armourhead]

Realistically I think its pretty much a waste of time to search for a virgin after age 20 in the West. I've been with three virgins ( I can confirm they have great potential for relationships) but only one after age 20. They are very rare, you're going to be lonely for a long time if you make virginity a priority in a life partner. If you do happen to meet one then by all means go for it though.

 

[Reyaj]

well, if she's able to give you the best BJ you've ever had in your life {and you've had a few}, she learned somewhere..... As long as it doesn't bother you, go with the flow. BUT, when you can't get any during Marriage and you remember she did it earlier for "a movie and popcorn" when she was younger. Ask yourself if it bothers you now?

Ok I take it that's a vote for finding a virgin to marry lol

I guess it would be acceptable for a virgin to deny you sex at some point during your marriage tenure I guess then?

At my age if I find a virgin I'm either screwing a girl my daughter's age, or someone so fat and ugly that I can see marks on her where guys have been touching her with their ten-foot poles!!
I think leaving the country is a better option....My therapist disagrees, but this way you find one who isn't jaded by American Feminazi-BS cr@p. But I'm still open to other suggestions.

Yes I agree its next to near to impossible to find one in your age bracket. The fact that you are saying you want to leave the country to find one suggests you also believe finding a virgin is important.

My thoughts on this are well-documented here. I'm not trying to convince anyone that this is the only way to go.

I will say that if you do happen to find a girl that you click with, has a good upbringing and morals and happens to be a virgin---you should hold this in very high regard. Because you probably wont meet a girl like her ever again. Remember, a virgin is a blank slate.

That said, you can definitely be happy with a non-virgin. In my "10 things to look for in a wife" post I wrote a few years back, I suggested less than 5 lifetime partners. I still stand by this recommendation. As you get older of course things change...at 40+ if you meet a virgin she's either prohibitively young or undateable. I just think the fewer, the better.

And regarding the sexual curiosity argument, this could happen with anyone. In fact, I'd argue it's more likely to happen with a girl who has a history of promiscuity, because this is a bridge she's already crossed. When you take a girl's virginity (especially within an LTR/marriage) you are imprinting yourself on her, and unless you allow some massive value disparity to occur (like becoming a stay-at-home dad or a total loser), she just has no emotional impetus to go out looking for a bigger better deal.

Yes perhaps a girl with a history of promiscuity is a worse bet than a virgin... but I'm referring to a girl who isn't say promiscuous but just has had sexual partners in her lifetime. My feeling is that girl with some experience knows what she is looking for and what's most important and thus won't need to experiment as she's experienced the negatives.

Also how do we arrive at this number of 5 partners being the slvt threshold? Listen I don't know how many partners my girlfriend has had.. but let's for the sake of argument say she's had 6 partners...

So she is 25... let's say in high school she lost her virginity to someone sometime between the ages of 14 and 17... Then let's say in college she had sex with 2 more people she was seeing where things didn't work out for whatever reason. This is between the ages of 18 and 22. Then between the ages of 22 and 25 which is about 3 years, she slept with 3 guys... This puts her at 6 total... Then she finally meets me and we both have a great relationship and are happy with each other. Is she a slvt or damaged in your opinion because she had sex before?

China has a high population of virgins, routinely up to 26y
I flew out one, 29yo had only 1 partner before
she was a dead fvck until the end of the week when I sent her home...
trained and ruined 4 life.

Another move to China post. Yes this surely is the way to find happiness lol

Dear Speed Dog,
You make several valid points....This wish to dominate and control Women went out with lace up boots,rather primitive....Mr Woods experience also rang true for me....On my scene,I mix with a lot of Mainland Chinese Women...I like them very much,they seem to be controlled by their Men...Are they?...NO,no,no...they all get their own way but do it in such a devious and clever way that no one realises it..Plenty of Virgins over 35 on this scene...One I observed and knew,was 42,never been kissed,met a Plumber,nice Guy...After a short courtship they married and settled down,big house,mortgage a young Kid,the whole freakin disaster...three years down the track,they both seem misery personified...in confidence he confided that his Svex life was just about Zero,they lead separate lives within their huge home...Wonderful Huh?...From long experience with both Animals and Humans,I believe no one is,as some here see it a blank slate...No we inherit instincts,they lie there dormant for many basic behaviours,Svex being one...However the triggers for these instincts needs to be pulled in ones younger days,otherwise although you go through the motions,you are never the full crate of beer...The Wolf Children of India are a good example of this,though examples were rescued and "Civilised"there are no records of their ever talking even walking on two legs...On my Dancing Scene,there are many who want to learn at an advanced age,but unless in the past,they Danced, played a musical instrument or became extremely well co-ordinated by a Sportspersons life,they will never cut the mustard.

What? lol

Reyaj,

Two solid reads on the subject:

https://therationalmale.com/2015/06/03/you-never-forget-your-first/

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/201...more-important-to-men-than-women-would-admit/

Personally, I think it is more about the man than the woman if that makes sense. How is your game, your frame, your sexual market value? That will determine the kind of woman you attract and choose, virgin or not.

Virginity (or something close to it) is an important component, but just one. It's like when people ask if I'm into Asians or Latinas. I'm into women I find attractive.

Also, it's good that you don't ask about our girlfriend's past and that she doesn't volunteer it. Women will communicate it to you one way or another, subliminally. Unless they're virgins, then they'll tell you flat-out.

I'll read those links tonight. I agree your game, frame, and smv is whats important. I am just very surprised to see how many people (including yourself) think a girl's virginity is important. My girlfriend has never brought up her sexual past and neither have I... I used to always need to know this but I am happy with her and I choose not to think about her past nor do I want her thinking about mine. She is awseome in bed too awseome to know she got that experience somewhere.... Do you think I should find out? What if its a number I don't like...? You know what they say about looking a gift horse in the mouth...

Realistically I think its pretty much a waste of time to search for a virgin after age 20 in the West. I've been with three virgins ( I can confirm they have great potential for relationships) but only one after age 20. They are very rare, you're going to be lonely for a long time if you make virginity a priority in a life partner. If you do happen to meet one then by all means go for it though.

I know finding one is difficult but if this is significant in a lifelong partner then I'll do it.... Finding that person has always been paramount for me.

 

[sodbuster]

Well, it's easier to take the NO, if you are the only one who has been with her..... she's not in the mood. But when you are married to her, putting a roof over her head, feeding her and the kids? When you get less s@x than you want, and you know she's worn it out with some other guy who only dated her.... you know, bought her "popcorn and a movie"? Most guys get annoyed.

If she was a slut who NEVER said no before the wedding, I d@mn well don't want to hear it after I commit to giving her half......

 

[LiveYourDream]

My girlfriend has never brought up her sexual past and neither have I... I used to always need to know this but I am happy with her and I choose not to think about her past nor do I want her thinking about mine. She is awseome in bed too awseome to know she got that experience somewhere.... Do you think I should find out? What if its a number I don't like...? You know what they say about looking a gift horse in the mouth....

Asking her will take you down a path you can never take back. Right now you are happy with her and happy with your relationship, as I understand. You are even contemplating the concept of marriage. Some men never find a woman that they feel compatible with, the way you do with your girlfriend. You may or may not find another. Only you can gauge the likelihood based on your level of compatibility with her and other woman and other values and how often you meet such women.

All that said, if you ask and she says she's been with 4 other men or she says she has been with 27 men, what do you gain in your relationship, at that point? One number is acceptable to you, so her value remains the same. The other number perhaps is unacceptable to you and now you will never ever see her the same and likely may never experience sex with her the same. You were happy with her and now she may seem forever damaged.

Is it worth the risk to you at this point, to know? If you are going to always wonder and someday just need to know, better get it over with now. Lose her now if that's the consequence. You don't want to be married with kids and one day ask her, only to find out she slept with 47 men before you. Then what do you do? Break up your family or suck it up and pretend it doesn't bother you? There is no good answer.

Since you are happy with her and your relationship, I'd say pass on the question, if you know you can, forever.
If one day, you'll just have to know, because curiosity is going to make you risk it all, then do it now, and just get it over with.

Once you do, there is no taking it back.
Once you ask her, she may expect to hear about your history too.
Once she does, there is no taking that back either.
Even if you are fine with hers, she may never see you the same with yours.
Choose wisely.

 

[MrWood]

i made it a rule to not ask. If she asks me, i usually say
I used to say.. "do you really want to know?, I dont think so"
now I tend to say... "I didnt know you before we met, and you didnt know me, so what does it even matter"

 

[speed dawg]

I don't know about you all, but most virgins I've met had some sort of developmental issues. Women who are well-developed and mature nowadays will have SO MUCH temptation flying at them, that often even the best still have 3-5 guys they've f*cked by the time they are 25. So, IMO, that's about the best you can hope for if you want a non-sl*t AND someone who is mature enough to engage in a long-term relationship.

I will list the virgins I know off the top of my head, and their situations:

- Girl from HS, decent looking, never even kissed a guy. Was always weird and had guys wanting her, but her confidence level seemed so low that she never put herself in a situation to date. Still chronically single and covers herself with family and church camp/groups and such. Just looks like she's have stank-puss and stank-breath too. Her sister is the same way, yet she got married, however from what I hear she's totally f*cking stupid and weird sexually. Had the train run on her in HS and stuff.
- Girl is married to a gay guy I went to HS with. They have kids and everything, he's pumped himself full of steroids and done cross-fit and all that and engineered himself straight I guess, but it'll all come down one day.
- I know another chick who claims to be a virgin because she's never taken it in the p*ssy, only the ass. Draw your own conclusions.
- I have a cousin who married a virgin (until they got married). Super religious, but only because she was raised that way, with over-protective parents. Has no idea about WHY she is religious. Also seems very underdeveloped, immature, and always talking about herself and her own problems. Probably the most normal of the group, but still weird as h*ll. Freaks out if I say a cuss word around her.

That's about it. I'm not sure I want anything to do with a virgin honestly.

 

[MrWood]

"technical virgins"
yes, please.. I want a virginal wife, who has been taking it in the ass for years.
umm, no.

 

[Colossus]

Yes perhaps a girl with a history of promiscuity is a worse bet than a virgin... but I'm referring to a girl who isn't say promiscuous but just has had sexual partners in her lifetime. My feeling is that girl with some experience knows what she is looking for and what's most important and thus won't need to experiment as she's experienced the negatives.

Also how do we arrive at this number of 5 partners being the slvt threshold? Listen I don't know how many partners my girlfriend has had.. but let's for the sake of argument say she's had 6 partners...

So she is 25... let's say in high school she lost her virginity to someone sometime between the ages of 14 and 17... Then let's say in college she had sex with 2 more people she was seeing where things didn't work out for whatever reason. This is between the ages of 18 and 22. Then between the ages of 22 and 25 which is about 3 years, she slept with 3 guys... This puts her at 6 total... Then she finally meets me and we both have a great relationship and are happy with each other. Is she a slvt or damaged in your opinion because she had sex before?

5 is just an arbitrary number, there's nothing magical about it. So if she's been with 6 or 7 it doesn't necessarily mean she is damaged...you just have to look at the big picture.

Also Reyaj (and others), I hope you take the advice of LiveYourDream and DO NOT ask her directly how many men she has been with. I will reiterate you stand nothing to gain by this.

First, you probably wont get a truthful answer anyway. Most women guard their number very closely and even lie to themselves about it. "Oh he didnt count", and so on. Second, even if you DID get a truthful answer, what are you going to do with that information?? What if it's 8? Or 18? or 28? Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Usually a woman will tell you indirectly through her stories and such. You can read between the lines and get a rough idea.

I wouldn't obsess too much about her number. It's bad for your mental health. If it's really important to you, then I think you should hold out for a virgin...which could be a long, long wait. You may never meet one. And just because a girl is a virgin doesn't mean you'll be automatically compatible, either. I was resigned I'd never meet one. I just figured I'll find a girl who treats me right with the lowest mileage possible. And I think this is a good plan for anyone.

 

[C-quenced]

I have a handful of male friends that I've known for a very long time. We're talking 20+ years. Out of all my friends the only ones who were able to keep the same girl for about a decade or longer have been the ones who found their girls as virgins. I think virgins make the best girlfriends or wives if a LTR is your goal. Good luck trying to find them lol.

There's a strong element of denial in society when you have to convince someone that a cvm dumpster or "low mileage" broad is every bit as valuable and loyal. I'm by no means a traditionalist and consider myself a simple and very practical person. I only believe in what WORKS and completely throw out and reject what doesn't. I can tell you from first hand experience that if your girl was previously broken into by another man, or a string of other men, then she is not (and never will be) yours. A slut for a reliable girlfriend or mother of your children DOESN'T work.