Should I try to reschedule later or just drop her?

[Juanto]

nviting her to your place on the second date was a bit much, IMO, women need to be comfortable with a guy first, especially mature single moms.

I agree with you Dash, only reason why I did so is because number 1) we are under full hard lockdown, everything is closed and number 2) the weather is really crappy, rain and cold outside.

 

[bat soup]

I agree with you Dash, only reason why I did so is because number 1) we are under full hard lockdown, everything is closed and number 2) the weather is really crappy, rain and cold outside.

If that's why she didn't come then she's lying to you already. Plus she could still have suggested something else if she had enough enthusiasm and a working brain.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I agree with you Dash, only reason why I did so is because number 1) we are under full hard lockdown, everything is closed and number 2) the weather is really crappy, rain and cold outside.

Wait for a break in the weather then invite her to "join you" (like you're doing it with or without her) for an outdoor excursion.

 

[Juanto]

If that's why she didn't come then she's lying to you already. Plus she could still have suggested something else if she had enough enthusiasm and a working brain.

she said that her kid was sick with fever, and that’s why she couldn’t come. An excuse,of course.

 

[bat soup]

she said that her kid was sick with fever, and that’s why she couldn’t come. An excuse,of course.

Yeah, I'd assume all excuses from women are total bs unless proven otherwise. Women rarely have the guts to be straight up.

In any case, she would have just rescheduled instead of cancelling if she had genuine enthusiasm. If you got sick, I'm pretty sure you'd have done that rather than using it as an excuse to cancel without suggesting an alternative.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Yeah, I'd assume all excuses from women are total bs unless proven otherwise. Women rarely have the guts to be straight up.

In any case, she would have just rescheduled instead of cancelling if she had genuine enthusiasm. If you got sick, I'm pretty sure you'd have done that rather than using it as an excuse to cancel without suggesting an alternative.

JFC, dude. You shouldn't ALWAYS assume the woman is up to some sort of surreptitious activity and trying to DQ you.

Maybe she doesn't know when her kid will recover, or if she can get coverage from a sitter, or maybe she has work s*hit or ex s*hit going on, etc., etc. You don't know, do you?

If OP tries 1-2 more times and she blows him off, then maybe move on. People have lives outside of dating. At least I do. One thing I've learned over the years is NOT EVERY woman knows about the "immediate counter offer" strategy they're all supposed to employ if they can't make a date.

OP, give it another shot in a week or two.

Good luck.

 

[Lookatu]

If OP tries 1-2 more times and she blows him off, then maybe move on.

Good advice.
I always give 2nd chances to single moms merely due to the fact that I'm a dad and know things can come up. And as a single mom, sometimes they don't even know their own schedule so it's hard for them to suggest an alternate time right their and then. This is one of the cons obviously to dating them.

But in OP's situation, I'd say it's dead in the water personally.

 

[Juanto]

JFC, dude. You shouldn't ALWAYS assume the woman is up to some sort of surreptitious activity and trying to DQ you.

Maybe she doesn't know when her kid will recover, or if she can get coverage from a sitter, or maybe she has work s*hit or ex s*hit going on, etc., etc. You don't know, do you?

If OP tries 1-2 more times and she blows him off, then maybe move on. People have lives outside of dating. At least I do. One thing I've learned over the years is NOT EVERY woman knows about the "immediate counter offer" strategy they're all supposed to employ if they can't make a date.

OP, give it another shot in a week or two.

Good luck.

I agree that I have nothing to lose here by giving it another try next week, only thing is i am compromised by the lockdown and the weather (which looks like will remain rainy for the next 2 weeks). Any suggestions on how to proceed given this context?

 

[Lookatu]

I've been in the same boat in regards to lockdowns, cold, snow. I did find some shopping malls that were open and is a good place to walk in during the winter. Grab a coffee and walk. Another is get coffee and talk in the car. Yeah it's a bit lame but can also be used to segway into getting her into your place after comfort and safety has been established.

 

[Juanto]

I've been in the same boat in regards to lockdowns, cold, snow. I did find some shopping malls that were open and is a good place to walk in during the winter. Grab a coffee and walk. Another is get coffee and talk in the car. Yeah it's a bit lame but can also be used to segway into getting her into your place after comfort and safety has been established.

We are not allowed here to buy coffee, even for takeway, and all shopping malls are closed.

 

[Lookatu]

We are not allowed here to buy coffee, even for takeway, and all shopping malls are closed.

Make some gourmet coffee and bring it with you in a insulated thermos with a couple cups.

**** man, you just gotta think outside of the box. Over the summer, I would bring a picnic basket of stuff I cooked and have a date in the park. This definitely gave them tingles and made it easier for them to invite me back over to their place.

 

[Juanto]

Make some gourmet coffee and bring it with you in a insulated thermos with a couple cups.

**** man, you just gotta think outside of the box. Over the summer, I would bring a picnic basket of stuff I cooked and have a date in the park. This definitely gave them tingles and made it easier for them to invite me back over to their place.

Thanks mate, good tips

 

[rjc149]

On numerous occasions, a girl declined my date invitation with no immediate counter-offer. I responded "no worries, let me know" or something to that effect, and indeed, a few days later, sometimes a week later, she re-engaged me.

Women are attracted to confidence and emotional security. Since it's not visible or a physical trait, like female attractiveness, they need to test and see if you're for real. Attractive women will, intentionally or not, probe you like this. There are a lot of very good-looking men who are insecure and validation-seeking as fvck.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Hi guys,

So I met up with this girl from Bumble this last saturday, date went quite smooth as we actually knew each other from some 15 years ago but then lost contact, and yesterday I invited her to come over next tuesday(tomorrow) for dinner at my place. She agreed to it yesterday, but today she sent me message apologizing saying she wouldnt be able to make it since her kid got sick and has fever, but didnt make any counter-offer. I just replied OK no problem, we will reschedule after the kid is feeling well again.

Is this dead in the water or should I reach out again in 2/3 days or just wait for her to contact me?

P.S. naturally I only want her for something casual, have zero interest in having relationships with single moms.

Single mom's are busted. Date younger and tighter.

 

[jaymbrs]

Maybe her kid is sick with a fever and she's more concerned with that than dating. Breathe. Give it a few days.

 

[Juanto]

Maybe her kid is sick with a fever and she's more concerned with that than dating. Breathe. Give it a few days.

Yes, no harm in trying again in a week or so.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

saying she wouldnt be able to make it since her kid got sick

Why do you want to ever date single mother in the first place?
(I do get that you have some past history, but that was also 15 years ago and lots have changed since then. You guys are not the same "you's" as you are now.)
If anything I'd would keep her as a LJBF contact and maybe you can spin some new plates from her social circle. I'd would never let it go further. But that's just me of course and my 5 cents on the subject.

 

[Juanto]

Why do you want to ever date single mother in the first place?
(I do get that you have some past history, but that was also 15 years ago and lots have changed since then. You guys are not the same "you's" as you are now.)
If anything I'd would keep her as a LJBF contact and maybe you can spin some new plates from her social circle. I'd would never let it go further. But that's just me of course and my 5 cents on the subject.

As I wrote on the initial post, I have no desire of having a relationship with a single mom, but since this one is attractive I wouldnt mind having her as a plate.

 

[Juanto]

Hi guys,

So I met up with this girl from Bumble this last saturday, date went quite smooth as we actually knew each other from some 15 years ago but then lost contact, and yesterday I invited her to come over next tuesday(tomorrow) for dinner at my place. She agreed to it yesterday, but today she sent me message apologizing saying she wouldnt be able to make it since her kid got sick and has fever, but didnt make any counter-offer. I just replied OK no problem, we will reschedule after the kid is feeling well again.

Is this dead in the water or should I reach out again in 2/3 days or just wait for her to contact me?

P.S. naturally I only want her for something casual, have zero interest in having relationships with single moms.

Just as an update to this story, on thursday night I reached out to her asking if her kid was feeling better, to which she replied very quickly saying he was feeling better although not fully recovered. We had some small back and forth and then I invited her for a walk on saturday (today) since the weather would be good (we are still under full lockdown here, everything is closed). She asked me to confirm the next day just to make sure the kid wouldnt need her. Then yesterday (Friday) we texted a bit during the day and in the evening she confirmed with me the date and time of it.

Now its Saturday, and she just texted me saying she doesnt feel like leaving home and will probably take a nap this afternoon... And, she hopes I wont get upset about it .

Wont even reply.

 

[Clamslammer]

Just as an update to this story, on thursday night I reached out to her asking if her kid was feeling better, to which she replied very quickly saying he was feeling better although not fully recovered. We had some small back and forth and then I invited her for a walk on saturday (today) since the weather would be good (we are still under full lockdown here, everything is closed). She asked me to confirm the next day just to make sure the kid wouldnt need her. Then yesterday (Friday) we texted a bit during the day and in the evening she confirmed with me the date and time of it.

Now its Saturday, and she just texted me saying she doesnt feel like leaving home and will probably take a nap this afternoon... And, she hopes I wont get upset about it .

Wont even reply.

Never ever wait for a god damn girl to decide. The minute she said to text the next day to confirm you should have took back the invite.