should I try to kiss the girl on the first date? what if she turns her head?

[wise_mage]

if things are going from average to good with a girl at a date and you have done some kino and have had some conversation with eye contact and mirroring and laughed a few times and pretty much looks like the girls thinks your at least an ok guy, should you try to kiss her at the end of the date?
or should you do this on the second date?
I heard it was crucial to do this on the first date because that way you recieve very essential feedback about the way she feels about you?
after all if she really likes you she will allow you to kiss her right?
or does holding out on the first date makes you seem like more of a challenge? of course there the possibility you might never get such a chance if you dont get a second date or that it backfires and she does not percieve you as sexual enough etc.

like for example I had a date today and it went pretty well, we had nice convo, we share common interests, she laughed at a couple of things I said, I applied some kino as well, etc.

so if you do try to kiss the girl at the end of the first date (like I did on the date I had tonight) and she turns her head (like she did) should i keep pursuing and ask for a second date (deducing that she might not feel she knows me enough to give me a kiss)or should I next her (deducing that because she rejected my kiss she is not interested)?

so what do you do?

 

[uniassign]

so if you do try to kiss the girl at the end of the first date (like I did on the date I had tonight) and she turns her head (like she did) should i keep pursuing and ask for a second date (deducing that she might not feel she knows me enough to give me a kiss)or should I next her (deducing that because she rejected my kiss she is not interested)?

From my reading of this, you have not done enough to spark attraction in the girl. She had a pleasant time, but not enough to have a "spark" or a "connection".

You had a nice conversation (most people have nice conversation with other people). She laughed at a few things you have said, is it a FEW things? or a LOT of things?

Did you neg her? Did you tease her playfully? Were you C&F with her?

The principle behind the first date is to AMPLIFY the attraction that she has for you, otherwise you get a turned cheek (like you did). To do that you must tease, neg, C&F, be funny, compliment and have a genuine conversation to build rapport. This way she looks back upon the interaction and does NOT KNON WHERE SHE STANDS with you. That will get her coming back for seconds.

Call her up, say you had a nice time and go out again. If she likes you, and feels generous you will get a second shot. If she is in a bad mood, she won't.

Either way you haven't lost out. Just remember for next time.

so what do you do?

 

[trajhenkhet]

Give it genuine effort and if at the end she turns her head oh well. Put her on the backburner if your feeling generous and find other ladies.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Whoa...a lot of over-analyzing and rule-reading going on here. Slow down.

Rules are guides only. These are yammered on as being more rigid or more flexible depending on the person. The more clueless and AFC the person, the more ridid the rule (because that's the only life-preserver of reason they have...)

You are speaking about the kiss test, mostly, right?

1st date, 2nd date--whatever. You applied it well or you didn't. You got your results (turned cheek.) That's what a test is--
---test;
---get results;
---assess;
---next course of action is obvious.

That's what you have. You may not recognize it. Right now you're thinking about whether you goofed this up or not based on whether you kissed her on the right date at the right time in the right way....enough! It's too much! You ran your test to the best of your ability and she responded. What's your assessment? What would you do differently next time?

Mine is this:
--which date? Whatever. You already tested, so we'll go with that.
--turned cheek: bad.
--your fault? Who know? Who cares? She probably wouldn't give you a straight story even if you asked--so there's no finding out anyway. You ran the test to the best of your ability and got your results. Maybe you'll do better next time, maybe not. Results this time are negative. Decide on the next move accordingly (I'd say move on....others wouldn't.)

 

[Clint Eastwood]

The kiss test is essential. You have to go for a kiss at the end of the first date. If she turns her head... SHE'S OUT!!! NEXT!!!

Look, it's so common sensical. (Yes I think I made that word up)

If she has sufficiently high interest, she'll want to kiss you. In fact, I've had several dates where the girl just reached up and kissed me. Some were really passionate about it. That equals high interest. In every one of those cases, sex and LTRs followed.

In the cases where there was no kiss at the end of the first date, nothing good followed. Maybe a little sex and a few more dates, but then I'd get dumped because she never had interest to begin with.

All girls will kiss you at the end of the first date if they like you. That is without exception.


Could she have a little interest? Yes. Could you work really hard to raise her interest? Yes. Could there have been an initial lack of chemistry that caused her to not "feel it" for you yet? Of course.

But why waste your time with a girl like this when there are plenty who would jump at the chance to kiss you even before the date ends?

It all boils down to her interest level. If it's not high enough for her to kiss you at the end of the first date, you move on. I'm speaking from a lot of experience here.

(Unless you want to waste a lot of time and money trying really hard to raise this girl's interest level. So she can use you and sh!t on you. With the possibility that you might get a little sex a month from now, if you're lucky. All the while other girls are dying to meet you and f*ck your brains out. But, hey, it's your choice)

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for my first date with a girl I met. One in which there will be a kiss at the end, or she's history.

 

[Omen]

If she turns her head, smack her and say... Ok, now lets try this again.

Sorry, rough week and I need to keep myself in a happy mood

 

[wheelin&dealin]

If you don't kiss her on the first date. You'll screw yourself over and you'll fall into the friends category.

 

[stallion]

I have to disagree with wheeling and deeling.

Kissing on the 1st date isn't the ultimatum. It may be a good way to measure her IL right away but I don't think not doing it is as harsh as a automatic LJBF if you fail to do so. If thats true, there would be much much less couples out there.

I think it depends on how bold the girl is in initiating the kiss on her own. Even if they're interested, they may still expect the guy to initiate the kiss.

I had a girl who I dated for 4 MONTH without kissing much less kino. People were telling me to next her and that I have no hope but now, we're together after I tried to make up my loss by intiating kino and kissing way later.

That story might just be a small exception but I think the girl's IL dictates whether we can go for the kiss or not. If its medium, maybe you have to work more before you can kiiss her and that won't necessarily have to be from the 1st kiss.

It should be possible to kiss close after 4, 5 dates as well for the less bold guys.

 

[Dee-Zy]

easy - u don't kiss her on the first date.

 

[Juan_Man]

Quit being a AFC!!! Go for the kiss. Basically, do the opposite of everything you did before coming to this site.

 

[Oxide]

i was out on a date last monday. called up a girl i met at the club and decided to take her out.
Me , her and my friend with his gf went to Comedy club, and while there, id put my arm around her, come really close to her when talking, smoothly rub her arm up and down. After the show she and my friend's gf went to the bathroom.. and my friend asks "do u like her?" and i suddenly realize... nope, not really. so that is where i said "gotta let her go" in my mind. the rest of the date went alright, i made her pay for her drinks, and as i drove her home, i thought about kiss close... i said to myself "ill go for it, see what happens" as i pull up... she says "thanks a lot, i had a great time" and JUMPS out of the car so fast ive never seen this in my life before. i laughed my ass off and drove home.

 

[MisterAl]

It depends. I agree with those that say kissing on the first date should usually be related to how little interest you detect from her, and whether you want to see her again.

If the first date went great and you _know_ she's interested in you, give her a nice hug and look into her eyes. She'll probably say something like, call me again soon. She might even try to kiss you! Tell her you had a great time and wish her a good night. Maybe as you walk back to your car, look over your shoulder and look back at her. Use your imagination. Hopefully she's still watching you. She'll wonder why you didn't kiss and she'll be ready on the second date.

If you couldn't tell if she was interested, then kiss her at the end of the first date. Or even if you think it went great but when you hug her she _doesn't_ say something like, call me again soon, kiss her. It's just a test and will save you time, money and heartache later. Maybe she was shy, or not interested or whatever. If she's in a hugging mood, move in for the peck on the lips. You'll probably feel her face slide under your lips as she turns her cheek. Thank her, she just saved you time and money, so lose her digits.

MisterAl

 

[wheelin&dealin]

You have to use kino and eye contact to gauge her interest level throughout the date.

If she's interested then kiss her.

 

[wise_mage]

well, I talked to this girl on messanger and things went well.
lots of compliments from her to me and indications within the convo that kissing might take place.
so Im going on a second date with her this week. Ill tell you what happened afterwards. maybe I learn something.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by wise_mage
well, I talked to this girl on messanger and things went well.
lots of compliments from her to me and indications within the convo that kissing might take place.
so Im going on a second date with her this week. Ill tell you what happened afterwards. maybe I learn something.

Did I read this right??? Did I read MESSANGER???

 

[Walden]

Smack her on the lips you daft bugger (can you tell an army guy gave this advice). The air force (gentlemen's) advice goes , that you should just go in for a polite closed mouth kiss to say goodbye , in much the same manner as you would kiss a maiden aunt goodbye after a wedding . This way it's less stressful and it won't be such a "moment' either way.

Go get em tiger!

 

[wise_mage]

Originally posted by Dee-Zy
Did I read this right??? Did I read MESSANGER???

yeah, its a nice way to just bump into her without actually signaling that you were meaning to contact her specifically.
great for ocasssions when things seem a bit unsure after the first date. and great for conversation too since I can say things way better when I write them and have time to think about them.
I didnt set up the date just yet though. I told her I was very busy this week and would try and make some time for her. Im going to call her to set the time and place, etc.

plus, remember, there are no rules, you do what you feel like doing. and the guidelines we follow in here, weel they were meant to be tested and even broken or substituted by new ones.
trust me, in this particular occassion, messanger was ok.

great way to contact a girl if she only give you her e mail as well.
although that does not express much interest from her part.
didnt happen with this girl though. she gave me her phone number, her cel number and he e mail. and she asked for mine as well, even before I asked for hers.

 

[krd]

A friend of mine dated a girl and they made out on the first date. Second date, same thing, while watching a movie on her couch. That very same day, she dumped him. Goes to show, there really is no way of knowing.

 

[wise_mage]

maybe she just didnt like the way he made out with her.
still went on another date to see if there was a pattern or he was just nervous or something. but you re right, there really is no way of knowing. damn chicks!