should I tell her im inexperienced?

tightgrp

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so seeing this chick who is super into me and a lot more sexual/sensual than I imagined (using a LOT of tongue on first date) and when we left and I walked her to her car we made out for a bit and was like "that's 50% better" after I tried to give a quick kiss and she went in for make out. someone I want to be in a long term relationship with too...

we also spent a lot of time on the date going deep into both our lives so she's someone who likes to be vulnerable and honest

it's clear to me she has more experience, and I am very inexperienced sexually. im not a virgin necessarily but I am definitely super inexperienced and am unsure how to approach it moving forward with her.. I've read a bunch of sites like 90% that you should just tell her ahead of time bc she'll realize it anyway PLUS it's worse if she doesn't know how inexperienced you are and it's bad.

but I've also read just to not tell her because it's a turn off. what would people recommend?
You go to hire a plumber. The first one you call, based on a really good ad, says, "I've only done this a few times." What are you going to say/do?
 

sosuave213

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OP thinks it's going to make her feel special or is sending off weak vibes...

Yeah I never ever told this to women.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Rainman4707

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so seeing this chick who is super into me and a lot more sexual/sensual than I imagined (using a LOT of tongue on first date) and when we left and I walked her to her car we made out for a bit and was like "that's 50% better" after I tried to give a quick kiss and she went in for make out. someone I want to be in a long term relationship with too...

we also spent a lot of time on the date going deep into both our lives so she's someone who likes to be vulnerable and honest

it's clear to me she has more experience, and I am very inexperienced sexually. im not a virgin necessarily but I am definitely super inexperienced and am unsure how to approach it moving forward with her.. I've read a bunch of sites like 90% that you should just tell her ahead of time bc she'll realize it anyway PLUS it's worse if she doesn't know how inexperienced you are and it's bad.

but I've also read just to not tell her because it's a turn off. what would people recommend?
Don't make a big deal out of it, telling her makes it a bigger issue than it is.

You're supposed to be relaxed when being intimate with a woman. The worst thing you can is overthink and stress, Relax, enjoy her company. You don't have to have sex. Just watch a movie, kiss, cuddle enjoy yourself, no pressure. Let things happen naturally.
 
M

member162951

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I'm seeing this chick who is super into me and a lot more sexual/sensual than I imagined (using a LOT of tongue on first date)
It's unclear why you think she's "a lot more sexual/sensual than you imagined"? Because she used tongue? Or did she actually tell you?

I see many assumptions being made here - she's a slvt, she's a hoe, and advising you to not LTR her because of this one comment - she used tongue and you "made out." SMH

Last I checked, it's quite standard to use tongue when kissing, even a first kiss. And making out is not uncommon either when there is a mutual attraction and chemistry which it sounds like there was.

Hell, she could be a virgin for all you know but a great kisser! And really into you.

Unless she told you her notch count and it was high or she otherwise told you she's f*cked a lot of men, I wouldn’t assume anything especially when it's based on how she, um kisses?

Don't say a word about your inexperience; if the chemistry is right, it won't matter and you may surprise yourself with your ability to be passionate and a great lover.

Despite popular opinion much of how good you are is based on instinct, mutual chemistry and desire and how well you vibe physically and emotionally in my opinion and experience.
 
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needimprovement250

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so seeing this chick who is super into me and a lot more sexual/sensual than I imagined (using a LOT of tongue on first date) and when we left and I walked her to her car we made out for a bit and was like "that's 50% better" after I tried to give a quick kiss and she went in for make out. someone I want to be in a long term relationship with too...

we also spent a lot of time on the date going deep into both our lives so she's someone who likes to be vulnerable and honest

it's clear to me she has more experience, and I am very inexperienced sexually. im not a virgin necessarily but I am definitely super inexperienced and am unsure how to approach it moving forward with her.. I've read a bunch of sites like 90% that you should just tell her ahead of time bc she'll realize it anyway PLUS it's worse if she doesn't know how inexperienced you are and it's bad.

but I've also read just to not tell her because it's a turn off. what would people recommend?
Do not tell her whatever you do. Like others have said, more context is needed (mostly how old you are) to give you a better answer, but there’s a very good chance that she’ll lose interest and break it off with you upon learning that you’re inexperienced. Trust me, I am inexperienced too and I’m 30, I would never tell a woman that I’m inexperienced since they’ll more than likely see it as a massive red flag and run away from me instantly. Get experience while you have the opportunity to and don’t ruin your chance. You do not want to end up a 30 year old inexperienced guy like me, this sh*t is so depressing and my dating situation feels hopeless since repeatedly being rejected for no experience at 30 seems to be a given.

For another example, this is what being honest about it gets you:

 

SW15

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There's no benefit in telling her but she'll likely figure it out by observing your behavior.
 
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