Should I really care about this girl any more?

[Dodgypirate]

We've known each other for 3,5 years and it was intense Chemistry from the beginning. I never wanted to get to this stage of emotions with her because, like she rightfully says "I'm not ready for a long distance relationship".

However it's been very weird lately.

She contacted me 3 weeks ago asking how I was, blablabla. I tell her good and we talk casually for a bit. Then somehow she brings up this girl who I had been dating for a bit (ended it 4 weeks ago). I don't know how she found out lol :/

Any way, she tells me "You know when I found out you were dating another girl I was seriously hurt. I've been waiting for you all along".

Now this part at the same time made me very happy and very sad. Happy because she might finally be considering a relationship, sad because it's been so fkin long.

But anyhow I don't see why she would be saying "I've been waiting all along".

Only (major) difficulty is that we both live in different countries - me in England and her in France. I got to the South Of France every summer and that's where I met her.

Other:

She's called me "her guy"
She's said that she's so pissed about life and how "her guy" lives the otherside of the Channel.
She invited me to her Prom in june - had sex 3 times - best outing of my life so far.
We had this cheesy and deep conversation in which I said "I think you've stolen my heart" to which she responded "I think you have mine <3".


We're both at Uni at the moment (both in our 1rst year)

Kinda really want to be with her.

 

[DonJuanit0]

We've known each other for 3,5 years and it was intense Chemistry from the beginning. I never wanted to get to this stage of emotions with her because, like she rightfully says "I'm not ready for a long distance relationship".

What she meant here was, that she didn't want to have a long distance relationship! How can she know that she is not ready? Did you even try it? I guess no.

Then somehow she brings up this girl who I had been dating for a bit (ended it 4 weeks ago). I don't know how she found out lol :/

facebook? Common friends? There is something!

Any way, she tells me "You know when I found out you were dating another girl I was seriously hurt. I've been waiting for you all along".

She was waiting for what? You to grow to up? She didn't have anyone for 3.5 years and she was waiting for you? In my opinion this was about validation! She just wanted you to validate her and make her feel good and wanted! She knows you won't meet any time soon so what she said means nothing!

Now this part at the same time made me very happy and very sad. Happy because she might finally be considering a relationship, sad because it's been so fkin long.

Maybe you are happy for the wrong reasons here! You should be happy that you moved on and got yourself another girl! A non long distance one (I suppose). You shouldn't feel sad about anything, you had nothing you lost nothing!

But anyhow I don't see why she would be saying "I've been waiting all along".

Validation validation validation.

Only (major) difficulty is that we both live in different countries - me in England and her in France. I got to the South Of France every summer and that's where I met her.

Maybe next summer you can try, but till then, don't wait for her, she probably wasn't and won't wait for you!

She's called me "her guy"
She's said that she's so pissed about life and how "her guy" lives the otherside of the Channel.
She invited me to her Prom in june - had sex 3 times - best outing of my life so far.
We had this cheesy and deep conversation in which I said "I think you've stolen my heart" to which she responded "I think you have mine <3".

Judge her actions not her words! (She said she is not ready for a distant LTR, when I persume you did say you wanted to)

Kinda really want to be with her.

I'd say keep doing what you are doing, when the time comes and see her again, you can try! Until then, why waste your time and opportunities in the shake of something uncertain?

 

[DarkDetective50]

I'm not even going to stress myself analyzing your situation. Here's the short jist of your story: THE GIRL IS AN ATTENTION SEEKER. Like Don Juanit0 said she just wants you to validate and pedestalize her. Be glad that you've moved on. Now cut off all contact with her and go find girls near and around you that ACTUALLY want to f*ck you and be in a relationship with you.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Spin plates dude.

If this woman is so in love with you then she should get off her ass and move to your country to be with you. I mean.. if you're such a catch to her why would she just passively let you slip away? She should be terrified of losing you. Otherwise its all attention wh0re power-game bullsh!t.

She doesn't like the idea of another woman beating her out. That is all. Its about her ego.. not you.

Men need to understand that women view them as resources. Therefore, 99% of their interactions with men are self-serving. Don't be fooled.

 

[Maximus Rex]

People In Hell Really Want A Glass of Ice Water

Kinda really want to be with her.

Really, nigga. You're at college with all of those hot Dothead, African, Black British chicks, hot A-Rab chicks (that aren't trying to jihad,) plus a bunch of other women that's around you, but you're over here pining over some chick that's in the Champagne region of France? Are you f*cking serious? I have to email Harry Wilimington and tell him to do a podcast entitled, "Stop Getting Into Long Distance Relationships." It would be bad enough if you were in London and she was in Liverpool, but this b*tch is waaay in another country. Dude how did realistically expect to maintain a relationship that involves a passport and international travel?

 

[Dodgypirate]

Dude how did realistically expect to maintain a relationship that involves a passport and international travel?

I thought I told you that I didn't want this stupid Long Distance Relationship in the first place?

And seriously sort out your language, I don't understand how "b*tches" go for you in the first place.

 

[Dodgypirate]

Spin plates dude.

If this woman is so in love with you then she should get off her ass and move to your country

And how the f**k can I expect her to do that at the young age of 18 when she's already at University in her country?!

She doesn't like the idea of another woman beating her out. That is all. Its about her ego.. not you.

RIIIIIGHTTTT ....
so she spends 3,5 years touching only one guy *ME*, invites me to her city for 5 nights (3 nights we ****ed), just to "satisfy" her ego. ROFLMFAO, I don't really think so. I don't think an egoistical woman would spend €100 on a guy to come to her Prom either now would she?

Men need to understand that women view them as resources. Therefore, 99% of their interactions with men are self-serving. Don't be fooled.

What the actual f**k ... where the f**k did you get those stats from?! :crackup:

 

[Trixx]

Spin plates dude.

If this woman is so in love with you then she should get off her ass and move to your country to be with you. I mean.. if you're such a catch to her why would she just passively let you slip away? She should be terrified of losing you. Otherwise its all attention wh0re power-game bullsh!t.

She doesn't like the idea of another woman beating her out. That is all. Its about her ego.. not you.

Men need to understand that women view them as resources. Therefore, 99% of their interactions with men are self-serving. Don't be fooled.

This post is on point...if she explicitly told you that she didn't want a long-term relationship, then she shouldn't have any qualms about your dating life.

 

[Dodgypirate]

What she meant here was, that she didn't want to have a long distance relationship!

She *doesn't* want a Long Distance Relationship ... and thank heavens, because I don't want either - not what I'm asking here.

How can she know that she is not ready? Did you even try it? I guess no.

Lol wut? ... She knows she's not ready because it's her?!, I don't know how to answer it. Of course I didn't even try it, because it would fail because of the lack of intimacy, interaction, etc ...

She was waiting for what? You to grow to up? She didn't have anyone for 3.5 years and she was waiting for you? In my opinion this was about validation! She just wanted you to validate her and make her feel good and wanted! She knows you won't meet any time soon so what she said means nothing!

Validation? ... Validation? ... Validation? ... Do you mean that she can know she's still good with the guys? that she can get any guys she wants? Don't see why she would keep herself single for 3,5 years tell all this "bullcrap" (according to you) for validation or acceptance?

Maybe next summer you can try, but till then, don't wait for her, she probably wasn't and won't wait for you!

Next summer will be the same as the last: We'll see each other, spend the at least 5 whole days together the rest with friends, etc ... We'll ****, share incredibly intimate moments that SHE initiates (i.e lying down in a field at night, sitting on hay bales smoking weed and making out ...)

Judge her actions not her words! (She said she is not ready for a distant LTR, when I persume you did say you wanted to)

Her actions: Kisses me (on the lips) at sight (publicly or not), holds my hand when we're out in public (or not), ****ing like rabbits, initiates intimate moments more than me, looks at me very often, talks about me often, Oh the list could go on ....

I'd say keep doing what you are doing, when the time comes and see her again, you can try! Until then, why waste your time and opportunities in the shake of something uncertain?

Am I wasting my time, really ......?

 

[Dodgypirate]

This post is on point...if she explicitly told you that she didn't want a long-term relationship, then she shouldn't have any qualms about your dating life.

OK just take that idea of long-term relationship OUT OF YOUR HEAD.

Never did I mention that I want to be in Long Distance or a Long Term with her.

We BOTH agreed on this, that FOR THE MOMENT it would be too hard because of academics, lack of intimacy, lack of interaction, trust issues, and every thing else that comes with LDRs.

Now with this all in mind ... why is the feeling uneasy about my dating life?

Why has she spent 3,5 years alone/single, when a) a girl of her allure would easily catch another guy in her home town - not to mention she has hundreds of guys chasing her b) get very intimate with me when we do finally see each other?

I think you guys are missing very IMPORTANT points I've made.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Am I wasting my time, really ......?

I can't tell if this is irony or not!

If it is, you came here looking for answers you just don't like! Sorry... If you ask a woman though, she will say what you wanna hear for sure.

If it's not, I will rephrase this last line, stop wasting time that you can do other staff and other women for someone that lives so far away from you and is not something certain!

I will tell you one thing, when i came here I would argue with almost everything I'd see! I didn't know! I was probably about your age back then and I didn't like the answers to most that I asked! People here though know what they are talking about! Not all of them for sure, but many do. And many people here told you to move on!

Just consider the advices you got from here and do as you like, we can't force you or anything!

Why has she spent 3,5 years alone/single, when a) a girl of her allure would easily catch another guy in her home town - not to mention she has hundreds of guys chasing her b) get very intimate with me when we do finally see each other?

I think you guys are missing very IMPORTANT points I've made.

a) You can't know if she was single, you are only based on her words!
b) No one said she doesn't like you back!

And the answer you want to hear is....

She loves you!!

 

[Dodgypirate]

I'm not even going to stress myself analyzing your situation. Here's the short jist of your story: THE GIRL IS AN ATTENTION SEEKER.

Aren't we all in one way or another?

Like Don Juanit0 said she just wants you to validate and pedestalize her. Be glad that you've moved on. Now cut off all contact with her and go find girls near and around you that ACTUALLY want to f*ck you and be in a relationship with you.

Well she certainly does want to f*ck me PUAHAHAHAHA

You guys are missing IMPORTANT points in my post ...

This girl and I would be in a relationship if it wasn't for the distance. And we fck a lot when we do see each other. And it's not just fckig like blow your load and walk off ... we actually spend hours fckin like we're going to die the next day.

 

[Dodgypirate]

a) You can't know if she was single, you are only based on her words!
b) No one said she doesn't like you back!

a) She was.
b) No **** she likes me.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Ok, last post, You are the one missing the points here!

You are seriously infatuated.

Propose to her or do whatever you like! You are not here for advices but for hearing what you want to hear, go find a woman's website who will probably support all your sayings!

I'm out of this, seriously, good luck.

 

[Dodgypirate]

Ok, last post, You are the one missing the points here!

You are seriously infatuated.

Propose to her or do whatever you like! You are not here for advices but for hearing what you want to hear, go find a woman's website who will probably support all your sayings!

I'm out of this, seriously, good luck.

Whatever.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I love it when people come here looking for advice and then proceed to flame, ridicule, belittle and chastise those offering their opinions.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Slow Your Roll Potna

I thought I told you that I didn't want this stupid Long Distance Relationship in the first place?

You said

We've known each other for 3,5 years and it was intense Chemistry from the beginning. I never wanted to get to this stage of emotions

Then you said

Now this part at the same time made me very happy and very sad. Happy because she might finally be considering a relationship

And you also said

I think you've stolen my heart"

Then you concluded with

Kinda really want to be with her.

Rex sees one of two things going on here

1) You're lying to this girl because you want to still hit that a$$ when you go to Marseille this summer.

2) "Nicolette," has you p*ssywhipped and you want to secure that a$$ on a permanent basis. This is evident that you not once, not, twice, but thrice that you wanted a relationship with old girl.

So to paraphrase Lord Vader from Episode V don't get mad at ole Rex because your "feelings betray you. Th truth is you do want a relationship with ole girl because at this moment in time, she's your only source of a$$.

And seriously sort out your language, I don't understand how "b*tches" go for you in the first place.[/QUOTE]

 

[PlayHer Man]

And how the f**k can I expect her to do that at the young age of 18 when she's already at University in her country?!

RIIIIIGHTTTT ....
so she spends 3,5 years touching only one guy *ME*, invites me to her city for 5 nights (3 nights we ****ed), just to "satisfy" her ego. ROFLMFAO, I don't really think so. I don't think an egoistical woman would spend €100 on a guy to come to her Prom either now would she?



What the actual f**k ... where the f**k did you get those stats from?! :crackup:

If you think you know better than everyone here then DON'T ASK F*CKING QUESTIONS retard. :crackup: :crackup:

You are the one asking for advice.. then you're going to argue? If you think you know then STFU and do whatever you were planning to do.

I stand by everything I said. It doesn't matter if you've been with her for 35 years and you are the only man she has ever f*cked. The past is irrelevant with women. All that matters is the situation TODAY. You'll learn in time. Stick around and read more of the site.

Good luck.

 

[DarkDetective50]

Let the poor sap be. As they say, experience is the best teacher. He'll learn soon enough.

 

[MrNiceGuy23]

Either he's a troll or just an 18 year old AFC with oneitis for this girl.

She has you wrapped around her finger, whatever she asks of you, you give her.

She's been seeing other dudes, banging other dudes for the 3.5 years you've known her. You had sex with her 3 times? You think she hasn't been with anybody else yet she invites you to prom to ****? She's a *****, she's been with more dudes than you can count. You had one girl in 3.5 years and broke up with her because you want this ***** in France.

Good luck.