Should I pretend to not recognize her?

[Life-Trainee]

Ok, so I've been eyeing a particular girl from Interior Design major since freshman year. We're both graduated now but I still occasionally bump into her at the convenience store. Me and her haven't talked ever because we were in different social groups and majors. However, I know a bit about her. For instance where she works (found out accidently), her full name, major, and exactly what classes we had together. I'm pretty sure that she has noticed the look i've been giving her at every opportunity during college years, so I don't think she'd be surprised if I approched her. However, when and if I do decide to approach her should I pretend that I don't know a whole lot about her? Should I be like "Hi, you look familiar! You were in my Freshman physics class. [Wait for response] What's your name?, My name is so and so. So you graduated now, blah blah, have you found a job? [insert smalltalk] You're cool, give me your phone number maybe we'll hang out sometime"

I could also say this, "Hi, you look familiar! You're Stephanie from my freshman physics class! " etc
I havent talked to her once so I dont wanna come through as a creep stalker. Btw, is there a better opener than "Hi, you look familiar".

 

[Livingitup22]

However you decide to frame the opener is up to you, but it seems like you have a natural opening. Why get too cute? Waitaminute, you've been eyeing this girl since Freshman year and you only NOW get the balls to approach! Good God, man, just go up and talk to her already.

 

[Life-Trainee]

I've been very much a huge AFC up till this year. And I haven't seen her much in a year. I saw her at graduation and other occasions this year.

 

[Grey Fox]

Forget the whole college approach, thing its a dead tell that your interested. If you bump into her regulary at a certain place just try making friendly convo. Once you have broken the ice felt then say "Didn't you go to so and so college." Which will crack the ice even further. Just don't open with the college thing, save that for creating extra familiarity.

-Grey Fox

 

[the_great_gaia]

The part where it mentions you recognizing her from college, forget about it.

For one, it does make you look like a stalker, she'll think "Oh My God, this guy went to college with me and only says something now?" She'll see you as "weak", and the basis of her convos with you well be why you never spoke to her in college. End of Story.

For Two, she'll know right then and there that you're interested in her, and telling her how much you know of her will tell her how MUCH you're interested in her. From here, you're in the friendzone, and whatever her boyfriend WON'T do (i.e. wash her car, buy her that belt she's always wanted) she'll get you to do, and if she's a real PRO, she'll throw some false hopes onto making you believe that you actually have a chance with her. Just so she'll posess ur wallet and mind, then you're hopeless.

Just approach her like she was a stranger that you never met, because that is what she truly is. A Stranger.

 

[Ice Cold]

I'd just say that I'd been bumping into her in college all the time and wanted to hang out. Then ask if she's married...

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Just say:

"Hi, I know you. You're Stephanie. You were in my Physics class my freshman year. So, let's see, that year your schedule was Physics, Composition, Forensics and Anatomy, right? How's your job at Farnes & Associates, 211 E. Galloway Ave. going? How did your visit to the gynecologist last Thursday go? Everything check out? And your dog, Wonkers still doing well? Man, I've gotta tell you, your second story bedroom window gets pretty dirty on the outside. You should maybe get a hose and clean it or something. A power washer or something. And the tree that's right by your bedroom window needs trimming. If someone was to climb it, they could get seriously injured. Oh, by the way, do you want to go out Thursday? I know you've got to work until 5:30 that day, and the weekend won't work because you're going down for your second cousin's wedding. Oh, and before I forget, my name is Life-Trainee. Nice to meet you."

 

[MindOverMatter]

Gio's posting again, welcome back man.

As for the original question. You obviously want to use the "you look familiar" opener, but there is a good way and a bad way of doing it:

bad way:

you: "hey you look familiar, weren't you in my physics class 4 years ago?"
her: "uhm no, now get away from me before i call security"

good way

you: Hi
her: Hi
you: I have a feeling I've seen you somewhere before, what's your name?
her: <name>
you: <name>, that's a cute name. tell me <name>, do you go to school around here?
her: I just graduated from <name of college>
you: really? me too, what was your major?

etc, ask her questions to which you already know the answers, build rapport, make her feel like she's known you all her life.

then:

you: listen <name> it was really nice meeting you, but I really have to get going. I would like to get to know you better however, *take out your cell phone*, what's the best way for me to reach you?

 

[Life-Trainee]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
Just say:

"Hi, I know you. You're Stephanie. You were in my Physics class my freshman year. So, let's see, that year your schedule was Physics, Composition, Forensics and Anatomy, right? How's your job at Farnes & Associates, 211 E. Galloway Ave. going? How did your visit to the gynecologist last Thursday go? Everything check out? And your dog, Wonkers still doing well? Man, I've gotta tell you, your second story bedroom window gets pretty dirty on the outside. You should maybe get a hose and clean it or something. A power washer or something. And the tree that's right by your bedroom window needs trimming. If someone was to climb it, they could get seriously injured. Oh, by the way, do you want to go out Thursday? I know you've got to work until 5:30 that day, and the weekend won't work because you're going down for your second cousin's wedding. Oh, and before I forget, my name is Life-Trainee. Nice to meet you."

lol, now THAT would be insane

good way

you: Hi
her: Hi
you: I have a feeling I've seen you somewhere before, what's your name?
her: <name>
you: <name>, that's a cute name. tell me <name>, do you go to school around here?
her: I just graduated from <name of college>
you: really? me too, what was your major?

etc, ask her questions to which you already know the answers, build rapport, make her feel like she's known you all her life.

then:

you: listen <name> it was really nice meeting you, but I really have to get going. I would like to get to know you better however, *take out your cell phone*, what's the best way for me to reach you?

That's why I had doubts on using familiarity as a starting conversational point. Thanks guys!

 

[TheNonPedant]

Stop thinking about how to perfectly approach her. Realize that she has already registered if she likes you or not and what you do next doesn't really matter.

Say hi and talk about whatever....if you get good vibes or even if you don't... run with it and get the number.

You are over thinking and defeating yourself. Do what comes naturally.

Stop thinking about it right now! Next time you see her act!

 

[Life-Trainee]

I'm not afraid of approaching. I'm afraid of my language skills and social ineptness English is not my first language so it can still be tough in spontaneous situations. Couple of times i said some crazy stuff with all the confidense in the world that got me WTF looks. I can cut the strings go and approach without second thoughts, but I want to succeed. I got the confidense but I don't want to say things that will immeditely ruin my chances because of my crappy language skills.

 

[TheMachoMan]

Do you actually still want to approach her?
I've been in the same situation, but I did the approach in a club and didn't actually told her that I recognized her from before. She wasn't interested. I think the situation is too unnatural when you know a lot about her that you can't tell her.

 

[luv_ya_amj]

Go Ahead...

Oh, don't worry...

The approach example in your very first post is absolutely fine, hun...the one about "Hi my name is so and so...Weren't you in my blah blah class? etc"....OR (MY suggestion)-- "I've seen you at this convenience store a lot lately, but...haven't we seen each other somewhere else before?..." -- something to that extent...

Like others mentioned before -- if she DOES in fact like ya, she won't hesitate to talk with you for at least a FEW minutes (unless she's REALLY gotta get goin'!)...

But, it's definitely WORTH A TRY! Cuz honestly honey, she'll most likely never approach you...then you'll never know what the hell could've happened!!

When some guy from college does this to me -- If I like him AT ALL I'll try and stick around to talk, but if not I'll RACK MY BRAIN tryin' to get away from him (actually, I even do this to guys that are I like, so hmmm...).

Just keep an open eye for signs that she may or may not be uncomfortable talkin' with you (unless she's good at hiding it and just wants a friend or sumthin...). Obviously, this is not a good sign...

Do you see her AT LEAST once a week? Well, in order to SORTA (and I mean S-O-R-T-A) practice, yet still maintain spontenaity, you may REHEARSE your opener (& ONLY your opener) 5 TIMES MAX then...FORGET ABOUT IT!!! Now com'on...EVERYTHING takes practice, but practicing SO MUCH you don't even wanna do it can ruin your game, hun! Keeping this on your mind will only make you MORE NERVOUS (obvious one? right?)!

As I'm sure the DJ bible mentions (yup fellas, I have no interest in reading it, yet us girls are aware of everything in it...weird...LOL), the week you THINK (WTH knows, right?) you'll meet her just practice creating interesting convo will every girl and guy ya meet (yeah, this is a REPEAT for ya I'm sure...), but YOU KNOW it can't hurt! So DO IT! Just remind yourself you're not doing this to help you talk to "that girl from college" -- you just wanna help your LANGUAGE SKILLS! YEAH! This little reminder will help keep your conscious more at ease (GEEZ...thinking about EVERYTHING that way would HELP ME even! )...Your agenda has NUTHIN' to do w/ her!

And as you must know already -- we like guys that are just relaxin' to be around -- laid-back, not worried, etc. -- guys who DO NOT APPEAR to be nervous and tryin' to bum us for our numbers... Remember to pay attention to her and not be digging through your brain as to what you're gonna say next (unless you're good enough to pull this off...but other than that --- very UNNATURAL!)...

All in all Life-Trainee -- DON'T get DISCOURAGED!!! Even if all doesn't go well this experience will ONLY make you better, esp. in your language skills.

Good Luck &...This was probably nuthin' new to ya, but everyone needs a SUPER LONG POST to get 'em goin' every once in awhile!

Just tell us how it goes, that's all we ask...

 

[BRYCEicl]

asdf

I havent talked to her once so I dont wanna come through as a creep stalker.

Look at you, you ARE a creeper stalker. You've been eyeing her since Freshman year and you haven't ever approached her, or said hi. Why? Because you’re scared. You've spent so much time eying this girl and your going to be so disappointed when you finally talk to her and it doesn't work out, because in reality you’re making things way too complicated.

However, I know a bit about her. For instance where she works (found out accidently), her full name, major, and exactly what classes we had together.

You don't know shlt about her! You know her name, major and what classes you had together but you don't know what she likes, what her passions are, how you can turn her on and how she likes to feel.

However, when and if I do decide to approach her should I pretend that I don't know a whole lot about her? Should I be like "Hi, you look familiar! You were in my Freshman physics class. [Wait for response] What's your name?, My name is so and so. So you graduated now, blah blah, have you found a job? [insert smalltalk] You're cool, give me your phone number maybe we'll hang out sometime"

Why would your "pretend" to do anything? Be a man, go up to her and say hi, because you want to. She's probably already creeped out thinking you've been stalking her. Here's what you need to do!

1.)Immediatly when you see her say hi to her and have a conversation with her.
2.)Tell her you'd like to go out with her sometime and that you want her number.
3.)Call her whenever, it can be the next day or in a couple days whichever you'd like because again, we're not "pretending" to be anyone here, we are who we are: men.
4.)The first time you talk to her on the phone just talk to her, lady dady da, before you hang up tell her that you'd still like to take her out. She'll say ok, suggest a date, she may come up with a better one, seal the deal and go out with her!
5.)Persistantly post all your progress on this board.

 

[Life-Trainee]

I probably made it sound like i'm completely infatuated with this girl, well, no, i'm not. Had a class with her four years ago. Was an AFC back then, didn't even think of pursuing it. Didn't really see her much around campus for the next two years because of different majors. I saw her a lot around my workplace in college this year, that kind of re-ignited my interest in her. I don't know whether i'm gonna see her again, so it doesn't matter. I've other prospects. Thanks for the help though. I just wasn't sure how to handle these situations, whether additional steps were needed.