Should I message her?

[ghostbuster]

There is this girl/lady/23yo (I'm 25) whose mother is friends with an aunt.

We live in different towns but from what I could gather, I do think we two could hit it off.

Previously, I was in a relationship of 4 years that ended last year, due to the ex wanting "a temporary break". (I had walked out and diligently enforced NC)

I've been single since & finally I think there is a girl I can work stuff out on the emotional/relationship level.

My only means of contact with her is via Facebook and as we have mutual friends, any message that I write to her will land up in her proper Inbox.

Long story short, I need to make this one message count and that has to get her interested in me.

She will most likely stalk me after she gets a message (I hope) and my profile is laden with public posts of the common stuff we like. Cats/Dogs (animals in general) being one.

What should I do? I can go long and risk boring her or just start with a simple greeting.

However, as we all know, girls on FB get messages all the damn time.

I await your voices of reason.

 

[stevo]

Have you met her in person and does she know who you are?

If both answer is yes,

Send her a simple message:

Hey XYZ, it was nice meeting you the other day, I'd like to take you out to dinner sometime, let me know a day and time that works for you.

That's it.

You can build rapport on the date

You can talk more on the date

You can get to know each other more on the date

Not before the date and definitely not on Facebook

 

[Bingo-Player]

So does she actually know who you are at all ?

If she doesn’t know you i wouldn’t recommend just shooting her a message completely out of the blue as she will put you on a one way ticket to creepville with all the other orbiter mugs

Use that aunt / mother connection to your advantage and get one of them to drop a word in even if its just to let her know you exist first

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Right then, this is what you do. If you do it any other way, it probably wont work.

1) You analyse the possibility of going on a short excursion in her part of the world.

2) You make up some bs excuse to have to make an overnight stop in that place, even if it's not entirely true - e.g. 'I'm just planning on paying an old buddy a visit during the day. He works nights though so will be free in the evening'.

3) You convey this message to her via FB, along with an offer of meeting up for drink, telling her you'd heard she lived in the area. If she says no, leave it. You don't even know her anyway.

4) If she says yes, arrange a mutually convenient date over the following couple of weeks. May be confirm exact details on the week of the date to make sure you're time isn't wasted travelling. Do not confirm more than once. All you need is time and place.

5) Make up some bs details about the imaginary friend.

DN:

-DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT engage in any kind of bs conversation over social media. Frankly, I am getting a bit sick and tired of telling guys to ignore that sh!t. LEAST of all about 'common interests' like f*cking puppies and kittens. Seriously dude?? Gotta be honest my man, you're sounding a like a ghey bestie already.... sorry, gotta be cruel to be kind.

.... but equally, I'd like to know how it works out. Fairly unique scenario.

Repeat after me: 'ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATION IS FOR SETTING DATES ONLY'.

 

[Yewki]

You say she lives in another town. How far away is she? If it's more than an hour, you should be aiming just to bang as that is not good LTR material. Even then I would recommend just forgetting about her.

She will most likely stalk me after she gets a message (I hope)

You hope she's a desperate loser? Hmm... think about that for a moment.

Long story short, I need to make this one message count and that has to get her interested in me... my profile is laden with public posts of the common stuff we like. Cats/Dogs (animals in general) being one.

First of all, you care entirely too much about this. It's not healthy to do so. That said, you're over thinking it. Just message her the truth of the situation, i.e. "Hey my aunt knows your mother!" then go from there.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Just message her the truth of the situation, i.e. "Hey my aunt knows your mother!" then go from there.

Oh f*ckn BS. That's fckn weak advice. Old ghostbuster sounds hung up on a little girl he heard about from his grandma..... ffs.

Fair enough let her know how you found out about her if it comes up in conversation, but to be honest, who cares who's mother/grandmother/aunt you spoke to first?? are you really gonna m4ntion that along with the puppies and kittens??

BE A FCKN MAN AND JUST ASK HER OUT. If she says no, who fckn cares. You never met her, you got a tip from yo grammamama. FFS.

fck. Getting so sick of spineless men on this forum who don't read the fundamentals, don't understand red and blue pill. And come asking basic questions when they could just google it. READ. FOR F*CK SAKE.

 

[VladPatton]

I wouldn't bother with such a setup. It's awkward as fûck already and doesn't feel natural, that's why you're asking advice. It's some girl you've never met in a different town, shît is kind of against you, man. And to top it off, it looks like you complained to grandma that you can't get ass and she's trying to hook you up. I say do nothing, fûck this scenario, man.

 

[ghostbuster]

First off, I thank all of you for your views that you expressed here.

The situation is far more complex than it comes across to be.

I come from a far more "traditional" culture, if I may say so, and as the eldest kid in the family, I am in a situation where I could not leave the "nest" and go live my life on my own.

There are massive responsibilities on my head with regards to my siblings and my parents, which I am doing my best to fulfil.

I do think my siblings will have it easier, but not me, as I need to always "hold the fort".

I've had my fair share of fun, at the same time, I was in a relationship for a good 3-4 years which didn't eventually materialise into something more "legal" and the whole thing put me off being "serious" and "lovey dovey" for good.

Now, keeping the environment in mind, I'm in a situation where I'm under pressure to get hitched. (one of the con's of this "traditional" set up)

So, this is the way it works, and If it has to go done this way, I'd rather be with someone of my choosing.

Yes, I'm interested in this woman as I see promise by whatever information I could gather on her. (I do not say the same for every woman I come across.)

You may call it a hunch.

She's just pretty far off to meet in person. I just don't know how to go about it.

I hope I made some sense.

 

[ghostbuster]

I wouldn't bother with such a setup. It's awkward as fûck already and doesn't feel natural, that's why you're asking advice. It's some girl you've never met in a different town, shît is kind of against you, man. And to top it off, it looks like you complained to grandma that you can't get ass and she's trying to hook you up. I say do nothing, fûck this scenario, man.

I haven't involved anyone.

Getting ass isn't an issue, tbh.

Getting someone who is going to live out her life with me and not mind**** me everyday, yes, I don't want that to happen.