Should I keep pursuing or cut her off?

[Robert28]

Sorry but being direct doesn’t work, don’t listen to these people. Just because you’re direct she’s not going to be like “oh he was direct, he’s getting some puzzy now! Had he not been direct I wouldn’t have given him none but since he was he gets puzzy!” You can be direct and still get jerked around by women easily. Being direct means nothing.

 

[SW15]

I know I'm a little bit late on this....

So there's this girl I met a couple weeks ago through my friend and I asked her out to meet once. Well long story short, she showed up late and since I had somewhere to be, I left after meeting for about 30 mins. In those 30 mins, I got some IOIs. About 2 weeks later, my friends suggested to not play so hard and to text her to make her comfortable with me, so I did.

It's great that you met someone through your social circle. Ideally, meeting someone through your social circle is supposed to eliminate a lot of bullshiit. Her lateness was inexcusable for a social circle setup. One key mistake was not postponing since you had an actual obligation. You are at fault for poor scheduling. You scheduled a date too close to something else that you had going on. That's generally going to lead to bad outcomes. When you have dates, especially ones set up from your social circle, give them way more than 1 hours. Early stage dates can't operate on a compressed/constrained time schedule, they need some freedom to expand.

Initially, she seemed to have a high interest in texting but now I am noticing that she's losing interest in texting (Or i guess it's me who's getting clingy and expecting more). For example, when the conversation starts going down, she leaves me on read. She sometimes replies within 5-10 mins and sometimes takes hours to reply. And the most important thing is that she NEVER texts first. But she does flirt with me over text from time to time.

I was gonna visit downtown today so I invited her, to which she agreed. But yesterday, I just sent her a random meme (like just keeping in touch), and she tells me she's sick and that she couldn't make it today. (Idk if she's really sick or just making stuff up)

I definitely wanna hang out with her but now I don't know if or when should I ask her out again as she may have sensed that I have become needy. (and maybe taking advantage of it)

The interaction is probably dead and can't be salvaged. Your own behaviors are partly responsible.

 

[Robert28]

Here’s what I keep running into and why I say being direct doesn’t make one bit of difference. You meet a girl, exchange numbers or whatever and start texting. You try to make plans “let’s go do this, this weekend” and you get “I would love to but I can’t this weekend, maybe some other time?” And you’re like “yeah sure” and you leave her alone. The problem is she continues to text you! “Hey how’s your day going?” “Just wanted to say hey because I was thinking about you” or something along those lines. You think she has to be interested because she’s initiating. Well she isn’t. You try to set up plans again and you get “I will let you know, I have to see what my schedule is like” and then you never hear from her. Then a week goes by and you get more “hey how are you texts” and she asks more questions like she’s trying to get to know you. You dismiss it “she can’t be playing games, she seems interested” the problem is she isn’t going out with you but you keep making excuses for her. This **** goes on for weeks, maybe a month and you start getting frustrated “I wish this ***** would leave me alone if she’s not interested!”. They tell you they haven’t been on a date in so long or they’ve been single forever, but you’re thinking “I’ve tried to make plans with you and all you give is false promises *****!” That’s what I’ve been running into and why being direct is a lie.

 

[BeExcellent]

Here’s what I keep running into and why I say being direct doesn’t make one bit of difference. You meet a girl, exchange numbers or whatever and start texting. You try to make plans “let’s go do this, this weekend” and you get “I would love to but I can’t this weekend, maybe some other time?” And you’re like “yeah sure” and you leave her alone. The problem is she continues to text you! “Hey how’s your day going?” “Just wanted to say hey because I was thinking about you” or something along those lines. You think she has to be interested because she’s initiating. Well she isn’t. You try to set up plans again and you get “I will let you know, I have to see what my schedule is like” and then you never hear from her. Then a week goes by and you get more “hey how are you texts” and she asks more questions like she’s trying to get to know you. You dismiss it “she can’t be playing games, she seems interested” the problem is she isn’t going out with you but you keep making excuses for her. This **** goes on for weeks, maybe a month and you start getting frustrated “I wish this ***** would leave me alone if she’s not interested!”. They tell you they haven’t been on a date in so long or they’ve been single forever, but you’re thinking “I’ve tried to make plans with you and all you give is false promises *****!” That’s what I’ve been running into and why being direct is a lie.

No. The issue you are having is that you keep responding to crumbs. Being direct works. If she agrees and follows through? Good. You got something there maybe.

She disrespects your time? Flake, late, whatever? You dismiss but don’t slam the door (especially if she’s a social contact).

And if her subsequent texts are BS bored attention seeking? IGNORE them. Simple.

Being strung along is on you. If she disrespects your time then she gets to ask you out to a specific time/place/event or you ignore her. Simple. Quit undervaluing your own time,

 

[Robert28]

No. The issue you are having is that you keep responding to crumbs. Being direct works. If she agrees and follows through? Good. You got something there maybe.

She disrespects your time? Flake, late, whatever? You dismiss but don’t slam the door (especially if she’s a social contact).

And if her subsequent texts are BS bored attention seeking? IGNORE them. Simple.

Being strung along is on you. If she disrespects your time then she gets to ask you out to a specific time/place/event or you ignore her. Simple. Quit undervaluing your own time,

Or you women could stop playing games and grow up. But I know, let’s blame it all on the man and make it his fault. If someone is so desperate for attention from someone they aren’t interested in they need to see a therapist because they have some serious issues.

 

[Striker_93]

Here’s what I keep running into and why I say being direct doesn’t make one bit of difference. You meet a girl, exchange numbers or whatever and start texting. You try to make plans “let’s go do this, this weekend” and you get “I would love to but I can’t this weekend, maybe some other time?” And you’re like “yeah sure” and you leave her alone. The problem is she continues to text you! “Hey how’s your day going?” “Just wanted to say hey because I was thinking about you” or something along those lines. You think she has to be interested because she’s initiating. Well she isn’t. You try to set up plans again and you get “I will let you know, I have to see what my schedule is like” and then you never hear from her. Then a week goes by and you get more “hey how are you texts” and she asks more questions like she’s trying to get to know you. You dismiss it “she can’t be playing games, she seems interested” the problem is she isn’t going out with you but you keep making excuses for her. This **** goes on for weeks, maybe a month and you start getting frustrated “I wish this ***** would leave me alone if she’s not interested!”. They tell you they haven’t been on a date in so long or they’ve been single forever, but you’re thinking “I’ve tried to make plans with you and all you give is false promises *****!” That’s what I’ve been running into and why being direct is a lie.

The girls are not interested and just want attention and you keep responding to them so in a way, You're stringing yourself along, they probably can sense you're a easy target.

 

[manfrombelow]

Initially, she seemed to have a high interest in texting but now I am noticing that she's losing interest in texting (Or i guess it's me who's getting clingy and expecting more).

1. The phone is only to invite a woman out to meet her in real life, not to engage and immerse in long, meaningless conversation via texts.

For example, when the conversation starts going down, she leaves me on read. She sometimes replies within 5-10 mins and sometimes takes hours to reply.

2. Yes because you bored her to death.

And the most important thing is that she NEVER texts first.

3. She never texted first because she knew for sure you would text her first.

But she does flirt with me over text from time to time.

4. Doesn't mean anything. She does it to keep you on the hook. Like a carrot in front of the donkey's mouth to keep it going.

I was gonna visit downtown today so I invited her, to which she agreed. But yesterday, I just sent her a random meme (like just keeping in touch), and she tells me she's sick and that she couldn't make it today. (Idk if she's really sick or just making stuff up)

5. The iron rule about dating is that you NEVER TEXT BETWEEN DATES. She accepted your invitation, that's good. But why the fvck you had to "send her a random meme"? "Keep in touch" is a BS lame excuse because you two would be going to meet anyway. Anyhow, her flaky behaviour indicates a very low Interest Level.

I definitely wanna hang out with her but now I don't know if or when should I ask her out again as she may have sensed that I have become needy. (and maybe taking advantage of it)

Please help me bros...

6. Read the other brothers in this thread.

 

[Robert28]

The girls are not interested and just want attention and you keep responding to them so in a way, You're stringing yourself along, they probably can sense you're a easy target.

Not my fault. I eventually blocked them but if they weren’t interested and kept initiating texts with me that’s their problem not mine.

 

[manfrombelow]

Not my fault.

‍Congratulations.

So you're the type of guy who has no problems eating a pile of sh!t because another guy keeps telling you to do so because it's his problem not yours?

 

[Robert28]

‍Congratulations.

So you're the type of guy who has no problems eating a pile of sh!t because another guy keeps telling you to do so because it's his problem not yours?

I’m one of those guys that doesn’t always blame the dude. Women can actually be terrible people you know? Most are. It’s not their nature either, it’s a choice they made.

 

[jaymbrs]

Advice from the old lady;

Firstly welcome. Listen. When you want something you straight up ask for it.

The man who I am engaged to (who I met in a very busy nightclub filled with beautiful people) asked me for my contact info. before we stopped chatting. The very next morning he texted me at 9:30a:

“I’d like you to meet me for brunch. Text me to make arrangements.”

He was direct, succinct and to the point from his first communication.

Direct & ballsy in a no nonsense way is masculine.

I got up, responded, met him & have been seeing him ever since.

Wishy washy beat around the bush makes you look indecisive or scared which is worse. Be direct & put it out there. If she rejects? Ok good. You got it over with. Doesn’t matter why so don’t bother worrying about it.

Now is she agrees and then flakes or shows up late? That is disrespectful. Call her out without being butthurt.

If she flakes?

“That’s too bad. Reach out when you are free.”

If she is seriously late?

Strike up a conversation at the agreed venue with someone else. Or cut the date short. Or leave. If she hits you up later or balks in person you say:

“Look obviously something came up on your end. I went ahead and made other plans. Hit me up when you are free.”

This communicates that you are not going to have your time disrespected and devalued.

And then meet other girls and don’t worry over this one.

Don't forget to tell OP how attractive your fiance is. Average Joe will do this and a girl will undoubtedly say it's too short notice / that she's busy, etc. I don't know what OP looks like but if you're making women swoon left and right, this wouldn't be an issue.

 

[BeExcellent]

Don't forget to tell OP how attractive your fiance is. Average Joe will do this and a girl will undoubtedly say it's too short notice / that she's busy, etc. I don't know what OP looks like but if you're making women swoon left and right, this wouldn't be an issue.

Look. There ARE women who will find OP attractive. Those women will make it easy for him.

Many problems reported here cease to exist when you restrict your focus to high interest women.

Now. If the OP doesn’t like the pool of women who are high interest? That’s a different issue entirely. That requires a look at oneself and either some self improvement or a reality check.

 

[SoSuave666]

I’m one of those guys that doesn’t always blame the dude. Women can actually be terrible people you know? Most are. It’s not their nature either, it’s a choice they made.

Life is a lot easier when you start taking personal responsibility for your circumstances. Especially as a man; no one gives a **** about your frustrations, problems, or hardships.

You don’t want to get put in the friendzone? The. Give off sexual vibes, ask the woman out for a date, and if she flakes then delete her number. Lions don’t blame their prey for running away or getting eaten by another lion.

 

[Robert28]

Life is a lot easier when you start taking personal responsibility for your circumstances. Especially as a man; no one gives a **** about your frustrations, problems, or hardships.

You don’t want to get put in the friendzone? The. Give off sexual vibes, ask the woman out for a date, and if she flakes then delete her number. Lions don’t blame their prey for running away or getting eaten by another lion.

I’ve never once been friendzoned because I didn’t make a move or ask her on a date. Ever. The last time I was Friendzoned we’d been on 4-5 dates and she wouldn’t let me do anymore than kiss her. It was weird.

 

[RobbyDog]

Here’s what I keep running into and why I say being direct doesn’t make one bit of difference. You meet a girl, exchange numbers or whatever and start texting. You try to make plans “let’s go do this, this weekend” and you get “I would love to but I can’t this weekend, maybe some other time?” And you’re like “yeah sure” and you leave her alone. The problem is she continues to text you! “Hey how’s your day going?” “Just wanted to say hey because I was thinking about you” or something along those lines. You think she has to be interested because she’s initiating. Well she isn’t. You try to set up plans again and you get “I will let you know, I have to see what my schedule is like” and then you never hear from her. Then a week goes by and you get more “hey how are you texts” and she asks more questions like she’s trying to get to know you. You dismiss it “she can’t be playing games, she seems interested” the problem is she isn’t going out with you but you keep making excuses for her. This **** goes on for weeks, maybe a month and you start getting frustrated “I wish this ***** would leave me alone if she’s not interested!”. They tell you they haven’t been on a date in so long or they’ve been single forever, but you’re thinking “I’ve tried to make plans with you and all you give is false promises *****!” That’s what I’ve been running into and why being direct is a lie.

Yup. Been there done that. Baffling female attention wh*ring.

 

[MatureDJ]

Reminds me of Taxi Driver

That was such a great scene. Travis was the first real Incel movie character.

 

[BDDazza]

Hey guys, I'm new to this forum and can't really make sense of what's happening with this girl.

So there's this girl I met a couple weeks ago through my friend and I asked her out to meet once. Well long story short, she showed up late and since I had somewhere to be, I left after meeting for about 30 mins. In those 30 mins, I got some IOIs. About 2 weeks later, my friends suggested to not play so hard and to text her to make her comfortable with me, so I did.

Initially, she seemed to have a high interest in texting but now I am noticing that she's losing interest in texting (Or i guess it's me who's getting clingy and expecting more). For example, when the conversation starts going down, she leaves me on read. She sometimes replies within 5-10 mins and sometimes takes hours to reply. And the most important thing is that she NEVER texts first. But she does flirt with me over text from time to time.

I was gonna visit downtown today so I invited her, to which she agreed. But yesterday, I just sent her a random meme (like just keeping in touch), and she tells me she's sick and that she couldn't make it today. (Idk if she's really sick or just making stuff up)

I definitely wanna hang out with her but now I don't know if or when should I ask her out again as she may have sensed that I have become needy. (and maybe taking advantage of it)

Please help me bros...

The lady was interested in you initially, hence why she went on the first date, I think your mistake was not securing the second date sooner. After 2 weeks she probably thought you was wasting her time and moved onto another prospect. In dating speed is important!

Her interest level is low, never texting first and leaving you on read means she doesn't want to invest too much into the interaction. Her flaking is a big red flag of disinterest.

Now her sickness over do a hail Mary, ask her out one last time and try to reset things. If she flakes or declines then simply leave it and move on.

OP, its been almost 2 months, give us an update