Should I keep persisting? am I being too ****y, whether she's interested, etc

[fmfan08]

Been flirting with a girl, haven't met her but we've spent a while being 'penpals' of sort, she had been reacting playfully too, messaging on Facebook.

Earlier in the month, I wrote a tweet saying "But taylor swift woulda been up there for me though #fit" and she replied "i'd be #1 obv "

Although I'm not too confident now.. I started a conversation on Friday and we messaged each other a couple of times a day, but I seemed to be getting one word answers when I am being witty, was I being too ****y and should I keep persisting? I didn't feel that I was being overly ****y..

ME - Not been obsessing over any parrot pictures lately, have you?
HER - Zzzzzzzzz
ME - obsessed with the letter Z instead then, not my favourite letter..
HER - Tough
ME - what's your favourite letter really?
HER - I'm not playing anymore, we're not friends
ME - We don't have to talk again, if you'd prefer (i was joking here, she wrote the exact same in the conversation the week before)
HER - Is that what you'd prefer? Because you seem to be making everything difficult lately, you've got dead ****y!
ME - Just teasing you if I didn't want to talk to a pretty girl such as you, I wouldn't be sending you this right?
HER - God knows with you
ME - Firstly, turn that grumpy face into a smiling one!
HER - Check
ME - more like it
HER - Haha.. I aim to please
ME - You aim to please me? Now, now (name)!
HER - Behave

I feel like I shouldn't be continuing this conversation, so I haven't replied being it a "one word answer".

Should I reinitiate later this week and persist with how I act? Should I tone it down and ask more personal questions? Or should I leave it and see if she'll start a conversation, to test if she's interested?

If you want any previous conversations, I'll post.

 

[lamobatsman]

Been flirting with a girl, haven't met her but we've spent a while being 'penpals' of sort, she had been reacting playfully too, messaging on Facebook.

Earlier in the month, I wrote a tweet saying "But taylor swift woulda been up there for me though #fit" and she replied "i'd be #1 obv "

Although I'm not too confident now.. I started a conversation on Friday and we messaged each other a couple of times a day, but I seemed to be getting one word answers when I am being witty, was I being too ****y and should I keep persisting? I didn't feel that I was being overly ****y..

ME - Not been obsessing over any parrot pictures lately, have you?
HER - Zzzzzzzzz
ME - obsessed with the letter Z instead then, not my favourite letter..
HER - Tough
ME - what's your favourite letter really?
HER - I'm not playing anymore, we're not friends
ME - We don't have to talk again, if you'd prefer (i was joking here, she wrote the exact same in the conversation the week before)
HER - Is that what you'd prefer? Because you seem to be making everything difficult lately, you've got dead ****y!
ME - Just teasing you if I didn't want to talk to a pretty girl such as you, I wouldn't be sending you this right?
HER - God knows with you
ME - Firstly, turn that grumpy face into a smiling one!
HER - Check
ME - more like it
HER - Haha.. I aim to please
ME - You aim to please me? Now, now (name)!
HER - Behave

I feel like I shouldn't be continuing this conversation, so I haven't replied being it a "one word answer".

Should I reinitiate later this week and persist with how I act? Should I tone it down and ask more personal questions? Or should I leave it and see if she'll start a conversation, to test if she's interested?

If you want any previous conversations, I'll post.

send some previous convos cheers

 

[fmfan08]

ME - Try to read this and not think of me
HER - Try to read this and not think of me
ME - Looks like we're both thinking the same thing
HER - which is..?
ME - That you ended up thinking about me when you read my message
HER - and you ended up thinking about you aswell? or me..?
ME - That'd be telling, I'll give you a clue..
HER - I'm not playing chase
ME - I ended up thinking of you too (feel like i shouldn't have sent this, but she kind of forced my hand as if she wasn't wanting to play games and wanted me to be straight up, mistake?)
HER - Not so hard, was it
ME - it was quite hard! (i should have added a wink for sarcasm)
HER - Well if that's the case, we don't have to talk again.. If you'd prefer
ME - Well I know that isn't what either of us want
HER - Well then
ME - You agree, admit it
HER - Ok, fine. I want to talk to you, and I enjoy your parrot picture. Now quit this charade , tinker. (parrot picture was my new twitter profile picture with me and my parrot in it)

Starting to think she's using one word answers because of how I'm acting atm, hence the "calling me out on being ****y lately" in the OP.

Rather than dis-interest, possibly the way I'm acting with her. She's a girl who parties a lot with friends, seems to not be the chasing type as far as I can tell.

If you want any other previous conversations, I'll post at some point later.

 

[plate's_empty]

At least she's playing along. But it seems you're trying a little too hard. She'll respond with a one word answer and you'll recover for her, keeping the conversation going. She's on to your game, and can tell you're trying to impress her.

I'd say now is the perfect time to switch it up. Start giving her one word answers, make her try to impress you. It may take a while but make it seem like you gave an effort, which you did, but she didn't reciprocate enough so you're beginning to lose interest.

Sit back, chill man. You have a bunch of these, no need to put in so much effort.

 

[fmfan08]

At least she's playing along. But it seems you're trying a little too hard. She'll respond with a one word answer and you'll recover for her, keeping the conversation going. She's on to your game, and can tell you're trying to impress her.

I'd say now is the perfect time to switch it up. Start giving her one word answers, make her try to impress you. It may take a while but make it seem like you gave an effort, which you did, but she didn't reciprocate enough so you're beginning to lose interest.

Sit back, chill man. You have a bunch of these, no need to put in so much effort.

How should I reply to "behave", I was thinking something like "haha", "yeah", or "okay" but not too sure, something short like you said. Best idea?

I see a good point there though. If I keep pushing sentences and getting a word or two back, it makes me look more eager and she'll expect me to always put the effort it, meaning there's no challenge for my attention.

 

[plate's_empty]

How should I reply to "behave", I was thinking something like "haha", "yeah", etc but not too sure, something short like you said. Best idea?

I see a good point there though. If I keep pushing sentences and getting a word or two back, it makes me look more eager and she'll expect me to always put the effort it, meaning there's no challenge for my attention.

^^^exactly

Her: Behave
You: Maybe
Her: What does that mean?
You:
(smileys can work if done correctly, or I'd go no response, pretend she never asked the question)


I'd let her marinate for a while. You already have rapport right? Messaging on FB..... you might be in her orbiter category right now. She seems on board just enough to string you along. I'd chill out with this one. Spread your attention somewhere else.

That's what I'd do. Other posters may have a different idea.

 

[lamobatsman]

How should I reply to "behave", I was thinking something like "haha", "yeah", or "okay" but not too sure, something short like you said. Best idea?

I see a good point there though. If I keep pushing sentences and getting a word or two back, it makes me look more eager and she'll expect me to always put the effort it, meaning there's no challenge for my attention.

ok this is what i think u shud do. flip the switch. dont reply for a day a cuple of days. then write " hey just wanted to ask u some advice. im going on a date on x day, is this a good place to take a girl? then keep it short and say bye. dont give her any info. lol

 

[lamobatsman]

also this girl is an AW. me personally from experience wud drop this girl and never speak to ehr again. wasting my time she wus be. seek other girls where u can ask them out wquickly on dates and get to the point quicker

 

[fmfan08]

^^^exactly

Her: Behave
You: Maybe
Her: What does that mean?
You:
(smileys can work if done correctly, or I'd go no response, pretend she never asked the question)


I'd let her marinate for a while. You already have rapport right? Messaging on FB..... you might be in her orbiter category right now. She seems on board just enough to string you along. I'd chill out with this one. Spread your attention somewhere else.

That's what I'd do. Other posters may have a different idea.

I'll go along with the "maybe" reply and leave it for a while. Even considering just forgetting about it and see if she initiates some sort of contact be it twitter/facebook, etc then fair enough.

We've spoken on the phone also, probably the closest contact we have had.

 

[fmfan08]

also this girl is an AW. me personally from experience wud drop this girl and never speak to ehr again. wasting my time she wus be. seek other girls where u can ask them out wquickly on dates and get to the point quicker

Yeah, like my last reply I may leave it and see if she's keen enough to get my attention again.

I'm not doing the date thing though, I'll come across as trying too hard to make her jealous, especially in that way.

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like she's getting annoyed by you playing games; beating around the bush, acting passive-aggressive, and behaving like an insecure girl who's afraid of rejection.

When you play games - the other party doesn't know your intentions, and will eventually get tired of it. As well, they'll view you as immature and not take you seriously. You will also attract game-players, teases, AW's, and other crazies.

Whenever I played games - that's all it ended up being. There was a lot of confusion, mixed messages, and craziness everywhere. Didn't lead to **** - because nobody involved knew WTF was going on. Very draining and a big waste of time.

There's a difference between having game and playing games. Stop acting like a teenage girl. Be assertive, confident, and take the lead. Go for what you want. That's what girls respond to and respect. It also results in you actually getting somewhere with them. Quickly, too.

 

[yyc12]

*sigh*...the **** we go through for vagina..

 

[plate's_empty]

Sounds like she's getting annoyed by you playing games; beating around the bush, acting passive-aggressive, and behaving like an insecure girl who's afraid of rejection.

When you play games - the other party doesn't know your intentions, and will eventually get tired of it. As well, they'll view you as immature and not take you seriously. You will also attract game-players, teases, AW's, and other crazies.

Whenever I played games - that's all it ended up being. There was a lot of confusion, mixed messages, and craziness everywhere. Didn't lead to **** - because nobody involved knew WTF was going on. Very draining and a big waste of time.

There's a difference between having game and playing games. Stop acting like a teenage girl. Be assertive, confident, and take the lead. Go for what you want. That's what girls respond to and respect. It also results in you actually getting somewhere with them. Quickly, too.

^^^^Yeah......good point. This may work too Not sure if your window has passed though.

 

[fmfan08]

So should I just get asking personal things? (without it being like an interrogation).

Best to ask to meet up soon? I only want to do that when I know she isn't being short with me.

From what I noticed from my two conversations, she seems to want me to be upfront with her. She even mentioned I had been making it difficult and been ****y lately. My only problem is, I feel it might take away the interest by being too open.

If she's the same when I ask personal questions after changing the style i've been showing, i'll leave it a week or so and try again. If the same then forget it.

 

[fmfan08]

Actually, I need to open my eyes more..

She even says "God knows with you". Thing is, I do want to be a challenge but to stop playing games with her. I do fear being straightforward with her though. There's rapport there going off previous conversations, just hope it hasn't gone now.

 

[floydb25]

You can be a challenge, keep her intrigued, maintain mystery, and present value without playing games and acting scared or immature. Just because you show interest in and date someone doesn't mean you've shown all your cards. It just means you're interested in seeing if she's up to your standards, and where things could lead. You don't, for example, start lavishing your interest all over the place, jump into relationship mode, make her your focus, try to win HER over, spend all of your time around her, and all that nonsense. It's as simple as it sounds. You can still remain unpredictable, exciting, having her filled with antipication and intrigue, etc. You can also keep things light, fun, sexual, etc. But you have to actually DO something first. No risk, no gain.

This is the way you should do it. Date someone, show them a good time, and leave them wanting more... then having them guess your interest from there, and want to see YOU. Not too much, not too little. She doesn't need to know exactly where you stand just because you date for a while. Nor does being confident and assertive mean being straightforward in your intentions. Especially if you keep things casual, escalate sexually, etc. It doesn't mean you're "into" her, and want to marry her. THAT'S what scares women away.

What you have right now is nothing for her to desire or look forward to. ****, you're not even really flirting, charming, or seducing her. Don't act too friendly or passive-aggressive. Friends can be ****y and annoying, too. You don't have to be a "nice guy" to be FZ'd. Most people who get FZ'd don't make a move, or wait too long to do so. Has nothing to do with being bad or ****y. If she's not attracted + he's bad, then he won't even get to be her friend. Just a lot of nothing.

If you get rejected, who cares... just go to the next. But I don't sense too much disinterest on her part. More like annoyance, and assumingly wanting you to man up. The same applies to sex, by the way. They'll get annoyed if you don't escalate, wait too long, beat around the bush, etc.

If you want something, you go for it. You'll be suprised by the results, too.

 

[fmfan08]

You can be a challenge, keep her intrigued, maintain mystery, and present value without playing games and acting scared or immature. Just because you show interest in and date someone doesn't mean you've shown all your cards. It just means you're interested in seeing if she's up to your standards, and where things could lead. You don't, for example, start lavishing your interest all over the place, jump into relationship mode, make her your focus, try to win HER over, spend all of your time around her, and all that nonsense. It's as simple as it sounds. You can still remain unpredictable, exciting, having her filled with antipication and intrigue, etc. You can also keep things light, fun, sexual, etc. But you have to actually DO something first. No risk, no gain.

This is the way you should do it. Date someone, show them a good time, and leave them wanting more... then having them guess your interest from there, and want to see YOU. Not too much, not too little. She doesn't need to know exactly where you stand just because you date for a while. Nor does being confident and assertive mean being straightforward in your intentions. Especially if you keep things casual, escalate sexually, etc. It doesn't mean you're "into" her, and want to marry her. THAT'S what scares women away.

What you have right now is nothing for her to desire or look forward to. ****, you're not even really flirting, charming, or seducing her. Don't act too friendly or passive-aggressive. Friends can be ****y and annoying, too. You don't have to be a "nice guy" to be FZ'd. Most people who get FZ'd don't make a move, or wait too long to do so. Has nothing to do with being bad or ****y. If she's not attracted + he's bad, then he won't even get to be her friend. Just a lot of nothing.

If you get rejected, who cares... just go to the next. But I don't sense too much disinterest on her part. More like annoyance, and assumingly wanting you to man up. The same applies to sex, by the way. They'll get annoyed if you don't escalate, wait too long, beat around the bush, etc.

If you want something, you go for it. You'll be suprised by the results, too.

A very good post, thanks. When you say I'm not flirting/seducing her, what are the things I should be doing in that department? Because sometimes I feel I am, but others disagree. Before these conversations, I've asked her how her weekend was, complimented her, etc without going overboard.

 

[plate's_empty]

You can be a challenge, keep her intrigued, maintain mystery, and present value without playing games and acting scared or immature. Just because you show interest in and date someone doesn't mean you've shown all your cards. It just means you're interested in seeing if she's up to your standards, and where things could lead. You don't, for example, start lavishing your interest all over the place, jump into relationship mode, make her your focus, try to win HER over, spend all of your time around her, and all that nonsense. It's as simple as it sounds. You can still remain unpredictable, exciting, having her filled with antipication and intrigue, etc. You can also keep things light, fun, sexual, etc. But you have to actually DO something first. No risk, no gain.

This is the way you should do it. Date someone, show them a good time, and leave them wanting more... then having them guess your interest from there, and want to see YOU. Not too much, not too little. She doesn't need to know exactly where you stand just because you date for a while. Nor does being confident and assertive mean being straightforward in your intentions. Especially if you keep things casual, escalate sexually, etc. It doesn't mean you're "into" her, and want to marry her. THAT'S what scares women away.

What you have right now is nothing for her to desire or look forward to. ****, you're not even really flirting, charming, or seducing her. Don't act too friendly or passive-aggressive. Friends can be ****y and annoying, too. You don't have to be a "nice guy" to be FZ'd. Most people who get FZ'd don't make a move, or wait too long to do so. Has nothing to do with being bad or ****y. If she's not attracted + he's bad, then he won't even get to be her friend. Just a lot of nothing.

If you get rejected, who cares... just go to the next. But I don't sense too much disinterest on her part. More like annoyance, and assumingly wanting you to man up. The same applies to sex, by the way. They'll get annoyed if you don't escalate, wait too long, beat around the bush, etc.

If you want something, you go for it. You'll be suprised by the results, too.

This is really good. A lot of people, my self included, will start out great with a girl, then we think we need to start throwing game around, over do it, and we game ourselves out of a perfectly good thing.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think the two biggest mistakes I see men make are over-doing the C/F and over-texting.

Too much C/F rapidly starts to work against you and creates unpleasant tension. She now associates you with awkwardness and tension.

I've been saying that texting kills relationships years before Harry W came along and I'll say it again. When I'm crafting a fine piece of furniture with expensive wood I know exactly how much to turn the screwdriver in order to avoid over-driving the screw and destroying the piece.

Learn to use your tools sparingly with just the right amount of force. The more you text with a woman, the more any chance of success erodes. A man should take a relationship out of the texting arena as quickly as possible. Every text should have a precise purpose. Chit-chat will tank all your previous efforts.

 

[plate's_empty]

I think the two biggest mistakes I see men make are over-doing the C/F and over-texting.

Too much C/F rapidly starts to work against you and creates unpleasant tension. She now associates you with awkwardness and tension.

I've been saying that texting kills relationships years before Harry W came along and I'll say it again. When I'm crafting a fine piece of furniture with expensive wood I know exactly how much to turn the screwdriver in order to avoid over-driving the screw and destroying the piece.

Learn to use your tools sparingly with just the right amount of force. The more you text with a woman, the more any chance of success erodes. A man should take a relationship out of the texting arena as quickly as possible. Every text should have a precise purpose. Chit-chat will tank all your previous efforts.

Yep, another great post on this thread. The C/F works great when used at the right times. Some girls eat it up, and you can lay it on real thick. Other girls, use sparingly, and at the right times. There's a time and a place for it. Just have some other guns in your arsenal, including being yourself, and being able to have a normal conversation.

The key....don't force it.