Should I just not get married and pay child support for kids i want?

[seth03]

Do you guys think the wisest thing to do, if you want kids, is to not get married and just pay child support to random (high quality) women who u impregnate? I think I'm going to do that. I plan on making at least 300k (most likely 500k+) a year once i'm done with med school and residency.....and with the stories I hear these days...it looks like if i get married and have kids, then divorced, i'd not only have to pay child support, but would have to throw out half my assets to my wife plus alimony, etc. etc. Since I would rather bang as many hot girls as possible until I die, without having to be a ***** to my wife due to me being scared she will divorce me for half my ****, while also having the joy of having my own kids and watching them grow...I think this would be the best idea.

Does anyone see any huge drawbacks to this? I calculated it all, and if I had 3 kids, I'd have to pay about 46k in child support a year, until they are 18, on a 300k salary. To me...that is not a big deal at all...considering that if I got married and had children, i'd have to pay at least that much money toward getting a bigger house, more food, college savings, etc anyway. With this route, i'd have to pay 46k toward the kids, then all the rest of the money would go directly toward me, my travels, my retirement, a sweet condo in the city, an awesome car, etc.

Anyone?

 

[Hooligan Harry]

Call me a stickler, but I believe that kids need both their parents to raise them. Getting them on the weekends only is probably not good for their development. I would like to see my kids daily if I had.

There is a hell of a lot more to children than just the cost of raising them. We have enough problems with delinquents coming from single parent homes. Not to mention the chances that whoever has your kids could meet someone and decide to marry creating more confusion.

Im in the same boat though. Getting laid is not the problem, finding a woman who would be a good mother for my kids is proving to be a problem. Lots of party girls and career go getters all over the show. Traditional girls who would be happy to stay at home and raise kids are difficult to find.

Move to a country where having a mistress is not a problem. South America, Asia or Eastern Europe. Either that, or accept that monogamy is part and parcel of having kids in the west. I dont think that there is a way around it if you live in the USA, UK or Aus.

 

[sodbuster]

You can father 20 kids,but they won't be yours unless you are able to spend the time with them to form their values. So do you want your sons raised to be Betas by their mother,filled with hate for men?

 

[LeftyLoosey]

I hate to break it to you, but there are actually women out there who will have kids with you and not leave you. It just takes a sound set of evaluation criteria and patience to find her... and this is coming from a bitter divorcee.

 

[seth03]

Thanks for the responses. For the people that think its not a good idea, I forgot to add in this: If I did this, I would plan on having 1 week a month with them, and additional to that, at least 4-6 weeks with them (in one 4-6 week block...not broken up) once a year in june/july during summer break.

 

[ketostix]

I think if you are going to have kids then you might as well play the odds and get married. The odds are pretty good you will make it at least several years before the split, you might even make it longer. That's time you are not sending off child support payments and time you have to bond and influnce your children.

 

[seth03]

I think if you are going to have kids then you might as well play the odds and get married. The odds are pretty good you will make it at least several years before the split, you might even make it longer. That's time you are not sending off child support payments and time you have to bond and influnce your children.

Hmm...that is something to think about. I will keep that in mind. But the way I see it...it seems like kids who experienced having their parents together, then experienced them break/apart divorced, were more traumatized or were worse off than the kids who were only raised by one or split parents their whole lives, and only knew that kind of life. But I could be completely wrong. So I will definitely think about what you said.

However.......if I stayed married for several years...wouldnt that just be horrendous if we split since I'd have to throw down for alimony, lawyers, splitting property and retirement, savings, etc....plus child support afterwards? To me that seems so much worse than just paying a set fraction of your income for child support 18 years.

Thanks for your responses. I am taking each one into consideration.

 

[ketostix]

Hmm...that is something to think about. I will keep that in mind. But the way I see it...it seems like kids who experienced having their parents together, then experienced them break/apart divorced, were more traumatized or were worse off than the kids who were only raised by one or split parents their whole lives, and only knew that kind of life. But I could be completely wrong. So I will definitely think about what you said.

I don't think so. I think that only a child's real father can fill that role and children that never spent significant time with the father in a family setting statitistically fair worse.

However.......if I stayed married for several years...wouldnt that just be horrendous if we split since I'd have to throw down for alimony, lawyers, splitting property and retirement, savings, etc....plus child support afterwards? To me that seems so much worse than just paying a set fraction of your income for child support 18 years.

Thanks for your responses. I am taking each one into consideration.

Alimony is somewhat uncommon. It depends on what state you live in. The mother doesn't always get custody if the children are over a certain age. The main thing is you are accepting a fate comple (sp?) instead of just playing the odds as an informed person. If you are planning to have kids than that is a good reason to get married.

 

[seth03]

One last thing. Along with the money factor.....i think it would be so much more exciting to be single your whole life and dating tons of different women.......and then maybe get married at like 50 to some chick 20+ years younger. So that is another reason why I wanted to do this...best of both worlds. But I just didnt know if it would **** up my kids too much.....or if it would end up being a drag no matter what. I don't know how its like to raise kids even a week a month, let alone full time, as a single dad.

 

[Warrior74]

Did you grow up with two parents? How did that affect you? You need to do some self reflection on that.

My parents are still married after 39 years. They have had ups and downs, and shielded me from most of it.

I had my daughter for the first 4 years of her life. I won't lie, I miss seeing her everyday, making her breakfast and spending time with her. I can honestly say that my influence on her in those 4 short years probably made her a better person than if I would have never been there at all. If I could have her and a good woman by my side I'd be happy. Kids are a blessing man. Just be really careful about the woman you have them with, she can do more damage to your kids than you know. They need a solid foundation starting out.

 

[decades]

if you want to hang out with and support kids financially, make a donation and volunteer. Your does not sound like a great idea.

 

[jophil28]

Do you guys think the wisest thing to do, if you want kids, is to not get married and just pay child support to random (high quality) women who u impregnate? I think I'm going to do that. I plan on making at least 300k (most likely 500k+) a year once i'm done with med school and residency.....and with the stories I hear these days...it looks like if i get married and have kids, then divorced, i'd not only have to pay child support, but would have to throw out half my assets to my wife plus alimony, etc. etc. Since I would rather bang as many hot girls as possible until I die, without having to be a ***** to my wife due to me being scared she will divorce me for half my ****, while also having the joy of having my own kids and watching them grow...I think this would be the best idea.

Does anyone see any huge drawbacks to this? I calculated it all, and if I had 3 kids, I'd have to pay about 46k in child support a year, until they are 18, on a 300k salary. To me...that is not a big deal at all...considering that if I got married and had children, i'd have to pay at least that much money toward getting a bigger house, more food, college savings, etc anyway. With this route, i'd have to pay 46k toward the kids, then all the rest of the money would go directly toward me, my travels, my retirement, a sweet condo in the city, an awesome car, etc.

Anyone?

Are you the guy who posted here a few months ago and who plans every damn thing?
Man, when you learn about and accept your 'powerlessness' over most of your environment and acquire the wisdom to choose your battles and take on only those tasks which you can control and steer to success THEN you are ready to PLAN.
Until then, finish med school, and sow some oats..a lot of oats.

If you don't want to take my advice, and are still set on playing Daddy with a few kids, then find a single mother that you hate, buy her a house, and borrow her kids every second weekend.
THat way you will save yourself twenty years of pain and all the drama of a divorce. Simple !

 

[Bible_Belt]

I know a divorced doctor who used creative accounting practices to always show a negative or very low income for his medical practice, while he siphoned off cash and hid it from his ex-wife. His real income is in the six figures, but he only shows about $30k on paper, so he ends up paying the same child support amount as a typical working guy. The ex is pissed, but he is the one with the accountants and lawyers, so he wins.

 

[seth03]

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200907/divorce

read that link...just posted onto the comments section of roissy's website about 30 min ago.

 

[ElChoclo]

If you are really serious about this I think that you should buy yourself a decent donor egg. Don't skimp on the quality get brains and looks. Then find yourself a surrogate in India. Get the surrogate to bear the kid and then bring him/her back to the US where you can live happily ever after as a single father.

You can get hired help to do all the usual household chores.

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

Go foreign, preferably Asian. Yes, its a risk. Yes you will have to get married. However I see it as a better alternative to what you propose.

 

[fertileTurtle]

I know a divorced doctor who used creative accounting practices to always show a negative or very low income for his medical practice, while he siphoned off cash and hid it from his ex-wife. His real income is in the six figures, but he only shows about $30k on paper, so he ends up paying the same child support amount as a typical working guy. The ex is pissed, but he is the one with the accountants and lawyers, so he wins.

God I love hearing success stories like that. Gets me all warm inside.

 

[Da Realist]

All I have to say is if you plan on getting divorced after getting married, you shouldn't be thinking about trying to have a wife or kids period. All you'll do is end up attracting some gold digger than will screw up any chance of you having kids that are beneficial to society at large.

 

[Nutz]

If you want to have kids, but then don't get married, you're risking a lot with them ending up on the other side of the country/planet if the women move on with their lives. It's really a big tossup. If I had a choice though I'd say go with the hottest women you can find. My preference would be foreign women though.

 

[Nutz]

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200907/divorce

read that link...just posted onto the comments section of roissy's website about 30 min ago.

If anything that's just one more in a long list of unintended consequences of feminism. Women no longer are the ones that glue the relationship together. In the past they were the nurturers and now they've lost that role as gender roles were and jumbled together. Some things have fallen off the raft and that's one of the biggest shames. Men braught home the bacon and women kept the home together. That's the natural order of things. Mucking around with that dynamic has caused the system to crack. What the author of that article experienced is a good example. I predict a future where men run buck wild, well some of us anyway, while most guys continue to swallow the Disney ideals of romance and marriage. Slowly over time people will get married later and later, or not at all, and eventually it'll just be a bunch of free for all sex-first relationships which may or may not turn into LTRs or MLTRs. Kids will almost exclusively be raised by their mothers, who will continue being raised in a feminized culture that enforces the Disney ideals.

Eventually though people will wise up. It's already starting to happen with men and the "Peter Pan" syndrome, which I find frakking hilarious. What goes around comes around and women like the author are paying the price. They wanted to be equal, got it, and now they don't want the ramifications. This will be what kills marriage as an institution--women wanting freedom from having to "do it all", meanwhile men are being dragged into their mess by having to "do it all" as well. Guess what feminists, men don't want your previous gender roles. There's a reason nature relegated certain things to men and certain things to women. It's what we're biologically and innately built for.

Feminism will always fail because it's a form of communism. No matter how hard they try men and women will NEVER be equal or the same as we're just to different biologically: Mother nature 1 - Feminists 0