Should I just no contact/next/ignore her?

[newtothis92]

So the story is I met girl in a club on a Saturday, kissed her and got her number. She was really into me I could tell and I handled it well. She text me when she left and we arranged to meet the following week. She text a decent amount, we met on the following Monday (was meant to be Wed), went to her place and had really heavy kissing session and grinding - no sexual stuff as she would reject my advances, I just thought it was likely a bootycall/ hookup as netflix and chill is kinda code for that, but I found out she was actually a shy girl. She seemed really into it and enjoyed it. Arranged at end to meet next day (I just wanted to **** her), I cancelled on the Tuesday but we went to the Cinema Wednesday instead. She was ill so was a bit awkward compared to the first 'date' as she didn't seem as receptive to kissing and you can't talk during a film. When it ended, I drove her back to her place and went in (she lives in dorms - she said, 'you're inviting yourself in hey?), I thought the IL was a bit off at that moment. On the Monday I went straight on her bed and she joined me, but this time in her room she was much less receptive than before. I said 'you're not up for it tonight, huh? meaning just kissing/spooning but she thought I meant sex and I got a whole story about her 'period'. It wasn't as awkward as it sounds but after a while of her not being receptive I could tell she wanted me to leave, so I did and went back out clubbing. Text her on the Friday then a simple 'out tomorrow?' because she's a student so a good chance I'd see her where we met originally. Her ' Yeah it's my friends bday, going out for that'. Didn't bother replying. Saw her on Sat when I was walking around town between clubs, and she seemed like she wanted to avoid me (not entirely sure she saw me), I went over, hugged her then left. No contact then for a week. I'm thinking the interest level just isn't there and she's probably seeing other guys too. I didn't want to be too harsh, she may have just been self conscious, so earlier I just throw one last roll of the dice, 'Hey, you wanna hang out sometime this week?' her - 'Hi, I got exams this Monday and the rest of the week so don't think I can blah blah'. Just immediately deleted number/texts and removed from Snapchat.

I realise I made a lot of mistakes like not waiting between 1st and 2nd date, but I wouldn't text her between them and after 2nd date (which was awkward) I didn't contact her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because 1st time we hung out it was really good and I could feel high IL. I thought MAYBE it was her just being insecure about having a cold or not feeling it. I think critically thinking I could have acted a bit cooler on the date than I did though and may have lost IL from that too. Maybe I just come off as a total **** boy and that's repelling her too. I don't know.

I'm going out clubbing a lot and meet new girls every night I do for numbers, I can easily move on from this girl, so does sosuave think I should just next?

 

[marmel75]

Wait a couple of weeks and reinitiate and when you do stop acting like you are desperate.

 

[newtothis92]

Wait a couple of weeks and reinitiate and when you do stop acting like you are desperate.

lol I don't think I came across desperate tbh. She knows I'm out a lot and possibly hooking up with other girls. I don't text her at all other than asking if she's out or wants to 'hang out/date'. I'm a decent looking guy too, always get IOIs on nights out. Maybe sounds/appears different to an outsider though. Only thing I'll add, on the Mon, she was straddling me when we were kissing and pressing down hard on my ****, I could tell she was trying to get me hard but I didn't get hard might have been a bad sign for her.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Sounds like she already nexted you man. Stop with the movie dates & taking them out when they are sick.

 

[newtothis92]

Sounds like she already nexted you man. Stop with the movie dates & taking them out when they are sick.

Probably. She didn't tell me she was sick.. just said she had a cold when we was out.

 

[RangerMIke]

lol I don't think I came across desperate tbh.

Yes you did. The fact that you are asking bout her indicates you had too much invested. You can not hide anything from women, you might have believed you masked you high interest.... but you didn't. She saw right through it.

She knows I'm out a lot and possibly hooking up with other girls. I don't text her at all other than asking if she's out or wants to 'hang out/date'.

Doesn't matter, what she might think about you will change if you exhibit weak behavior. You can be a player's player, she can see you with lots of girls... but when you are with her, if she gets a sense that you are more into her than the other way around, she will not be attracted.

I'm a decent looking guy too, always get IOIs on nights out.

Which is why you got a shot. But then you came off as too needy. Again, you were over invested and regardless of how good an actor you might have been, women can read you mind. You can not fool them. If you are into them they know... and if you are more into them then they are into you, she will try to put space between you.

.....on the Mon, she was straddling me when we were kissing and pressing down hard on my ****, I could tell she was trying to get me hard but I didn't get hard might have been a bad sign for her.

Here's the problem. NOTHING turns a woman off more than for a man to NOT physically respond to her advances. A woman can be attracted to a man... but she will only desire a man that desires her. If you can't get it up, she goes cold really fast.

 

[newtothis92]

Yes you did. The fact that you are asking bout her indicates you had too much invested. You can not hide anything from women, you might have believed you masked you high interest.... but you didn't. She saw right through it.



Doesn't matter, what she might think about you will change if you exhibit weak behavior. You can be a player's player, she can see you with lots of girls... but when you are with her, if she gets a sense that you are more into her than the other way around, she will not be attracted.



Which is why you got a shot. But then you came off as too needy. Again, you were over invested and regardless of how good an actor you might have been, women can read you mind. You can not fool them. If you are into them they know... and if you are more into them then they are into you, she will try to put space between you.



Here's the problem. NOTHING turns a woman off more than for a man to NOT physically respond to her advances. A woman can be attracted to a man... but she will only desire a man that desires her. If you can't get it up, she goes cold really fast.

For the last part, I wasn't horny and we both had jeans on/fully clothed.. Yeah I shoulda got hard though. Would now if it were to happen (given up M and P). You really think it's a huge turn off? girl was grinding on me Friday on dance floor and I got hard, been texting her past day and she enjoyed it a lot I can tell 'Oh yeah I had a good feel'. Ah well, it's all an experience.

 

[newtothis92]

Respectfully:

If you've got options, why are you seeking outside help on one particular girl?

I'm new to game, hence my username. I may have quite a few options but it's only been a recent thing (past few years) since I've come into my own. My dating game is still inexperienced. I will use advice for future hook ups. I know no contact/ lack of interest and not being overly keen is much more desirable for women, but I need to know when to apply it. Like for this girl, I cut her some slack for 2nd date, asked her to hang out again and her response can only be seen as non interest. Would you advise to have even bothered contacting her? I thought I may as well make it final.

 

[yungballa]

its done. you're overthinking this you've typed an essay on this girl, bro. don't over analyze this sh1t. it's never good for you.

leave the pieces on the floor and move the fvck on. girls are dumb like that. in love with you one week, ready to leave the next. dont think much of it. just move on and next her.


she was hella interested in you and now she's gone cold? not much to think about her. dont over think it, pal. just know she's not interested anymore and move on, simple math.

and one more thing: stop caring so much. it'll help you. dont let gaming girls become a priority in life.

 

[Roni_88]

So the story is I met girl in a club on a Saturday, kissed her and got her number. She was really into me I could tell and I handled it well. She text me when she left and we arranged to meet the following week. She text a decent amount, we met on the following Monday (was meant to be Wed), went to her place and had really heavy kissing session and grinding - no sexual stuff as she would reject my advances, I just thought it was likely a bootycall/ hookup as netflix and chill is kinda code for that, but I found out she was actually a shy girl. She seemed really into it and enjoyed it. Arranged at end to meet next day (I just wanted to **** her), I cancelled on the Tuesday but we went to the Cinema Wednesday instead. She was ill so was a bit awkward compared to the first 'date' as she didn't seem as receptive to kissing and you can't talk during a film. When it ended, I drove her back to her place and went in (she lives in dorms - she said, 'you're inviting yourself in hey?), I thought the IL was a bit off at that moment. On the Monday I went straight on her bed and she joined me, but this time in her room she was much less receptive than before. I said 'you're not up for it tonight, huh? meaning just kissing/spooning but she thought I meant sex and I got a whole story about her 'period'. It wasn't as awkward as it sounds but after a while of her not being receptive I could tell she wanted me to leave, so I did and went back out clubbing. Text her on the Friday then a simple 'out tomorrow?' because she's a student so a good chance I'd see her where we met originally. Her ' Yeah it's my friends bday, going out for that'. Didn't bother replying. Saw her on Sat when I was walking around town between clubs, and she seemed like she wanted to avoid me (not entirely sure she saw me), I went over, hugged her then left. No contact then for a week. I'm thinking the interest level just isn't there and she's probably seeing other guys too. I didn't want to be too harsh, she may have just been self conscious, so earlier I just throw one last roll of the dice, 'Hey, you wanna hang out sometime this week?' her - 'Hi, I got exams this Monday and the rest of the week so don't think I can blah blah'. Just immediately deleted number/texts and removed from Snapchat.

I realise I made a lot of mistakes like not waiting between 1st and 2nd date, but I wouldn't text her between them and after 2nd date (which was awkward) I didn't contact her. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because 1st time we hung out it was really good and I could feel high IL. I thought MAYBE it was her just being insecure about having a cold or not feeling it. I think critically thinking I could have acted a bit cooler on the date than I did though and may have lost IL from that too. Maybe I just come off as a total **** boy and that's repelling her too. I don't know.

I'm going out clubbing a lot and meet new girls every night I do for numbers, I can easily move on from this girl, so does sosuave think I should just next?

Maybe I am wrong, but I would take with a grain of salt a girl that I would meet at a club, just like she went out with you, easily she can find someone else, just like you say you do. Not saying all are like that, but mostly they are.

 

[TheGambino]

Go ghost, let her wonder about you. Go no contact until she reaches out, then act cool, late, bold but POLITE. Wait until SHE initiates a date again. If she doesn't reach out, well theres your answer, move on. Some girls only reach out to see if you are still hooked, watch out for that, don't mistake it for interest.